balance
Added 2024-02-17 19:46:01 +0000 UTCi struggle, to find the balance between confidence and humility. between being proud, and being humble. i am quite constantly anxious of taking up too much space, of overconfidence, of “bragging”. because both can exist at once: i am so goddamn proud of myself. of how much i’ve grown and learned over the past six odd years, of the fact that i’m paying my bills with my art and booking international gigs. but i also know i have so much to learn, so far to grow. and i want it be clear that i feel that deeply.
in dance school “fake it til you make it” was ingrained into my head. if you don’t have the technique or the strength, do the audition anyways, try the trick anyways. if you don’t know the choreography, pretend you do. what’s the worst that can happen? you land on your ass, or you look like a fool? who cares? but in this space, i (usually) know the choreography and i have (some) strength and skill, but i still feel like i’m “faking it” a lot of the time. sometimes my confidence feels genuine and earned, and sometimes i feel like a fraud.
so i put my head down, and i keep learning and growing and evolving. perhaps i will always feel like a fraud, but it least i’ll feel like a fraud with decent technique. and perhaps one day my pride will feel genuine and deserved. and if it doesn’t, i think that’s ok too.
and in the mean time, thank you for being here. for seeing my mistakes and my falls (and my typos) and accepting them with grace and compassion. because i know i will occasionally land on my ass, but i’ll sure as hell keep standing back up, with confidence and with pride.
Comments
Thanks for bearing this part of your soul, Syd. We are often our own worst critics. You have the respect and admiration of everyone who has had the joy of admiring your work. You are learning, living, and expressing yourself through your passion. That alone makes you a success.
Brian McCamley
2024-02-18 21:00:23 +0000 UTC“the fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” It’s a good thing to question yourself. Objectively, there is a lot for you to be proud of, but the fact that you have the awareness that there’s so much for you to learn (and the humility to express if here!) is a large part of why I trust and respect you so, so much 🤍
Victoria Steccato
2024-02-18 02:41:43 +0000 UTC
