Virtual Furry Museum and ANW Award

There have been times that I feel very down, I guess it's normal on people nowadays, it's a thing on our times. When I feel very stressed and that I'm worthless, and see that others are showing similar emotions on social networks, and some people tell them they are overreacting, being dramatic, or trying to show some attention to others... but I'm sure all of us tend to feel like that from time to time, just we do not externalize it to the world. I never do it! That's why people may think I'm the happiest person.

But we never stop for a moment to realize what we have around us, the friends we have, who may be few, many or enough, but we all have people who love us and we tend to forget about them when we're thinking only about ourselves. 

I just don't have my friends, but I also have all of you who are taking a little bit of your wallet to support my dreams. I always try to do my best to show you my gratitude, that sometimes that gratitude I promise is what stresses me even more for not having all the time of the world and taking so long on each piece I do. But I really try my best.

Last month I had two big shout-outs that maybe are not the biggest thing on the world, but those were very meaningful to me. That makes me think that all the time I've spent creating drawings and paintings are kind of worthy, because of course there have been many times that I'm doing this things in my studio while friends are making their own plans, or that I spend extra time at conventions on tables working instead of partying, and it's when I think "Is this really worthy?". These two acknowledgments made me think that... maybe it is!

The first one was to be included on a Virtual Furry Museum, but not only being exhibited with one or two pieces, but having an entire room of the museum dedicated to my work. There is a plate where the curator describe what's about me as an artist, and honestly that description made me joy tear a little bit.

When Sotalo, the creator of the museum, told me he was buidling a room on his museum dedicated to me, I thought it was really cool and I was very grateful with him, but I had no idea that museum was going to be a big thing, at least with furries who are very into VR Chat, because suddenly so many people started telling me how cool was that room dedicated to my art on the Furry Museum.
Then... again what made me feel very bad and sad again... Sotalo mentioned me that he may take down my room because he was told awful things about me, but I explained him what was going on with those awful comments, and he was convinced to not take down the room. But it makes me feel really sad that what I got to do in my past, when I was taking any kind of commission just because I needed money, dragged me into so many problems. Despite I stopped drawing those things and I turned in a 100% clean artist since 2017, that past keeps being an obstacle in the present, I still need to give explanations, and I'm sure that it has closed me some doors.
Now every time I receive something cool for my career: an award, an acknowledgment, that someone mentions publicly about my work... it creates me a kind of anxiety because I know there will be people bothering for telling them about my past and I will need to give explanations again. It's so tiring, and now I question if time is really going to fade that, or if it's something I will need to drag during all my life.

Well, stop about bad things and let's move to the second cool thing I received during last month. It was during Anthro Northwest. Just after Closing Ceremonies, Gabriel, the chairman of the convention, was giving awards to all the ANW's team for their great work, and I really believe how great work had to be that! It is a really cool convention and I can't imagine how many dificulties they need to get over to keep having a furry convention on Seattle with that succeess. I feel like my help of the convention is not that hard like it is for them.... But when they were giving medals as awards for the work of many from the staff, I was called to receive one of the Special Awards, receiving a very cool plate "for exceptional service and dedication bringin life to art". It was a really nice surprise, I was not really expecting such award. And while I was walking to the stage, Gabriel was explaining why exactly I was receiving that award, I'm sure he was saying so many nice words, but since it was a "special award" I thought I had to say something to the microphone and I was very nervous, so I was thinking what exactly I had to say on the microphone. You need to know that, my native language is not English, and that makes me especially nervous when I need to talk in English in front of many people, fortunatelly is something now I can do and I'm more confident than before, but still makes me feel very nervous. But in the end... I had to say nothing, I received the award, very beautiful plate by the way, many claps from the audience, and that was it. I'm glad there was no microphone for me but then I wish I could have paid attention of what he was telling about me, hehe. 

And that's it! I wanted to share this experience with all of you. I didn't want to write public journals about these two, since... I don't tend to "show off" my awards, but I always tell these things to my family, and you are also part of my family, you are part of this Clubhouse!

If you want to see news about the Virtual Furry Museum, follow Sotalo, I'm not sure where else he is on social media more than Twitter, I think he's more active on VR Chat, but I don't know how to share things from VR Chat. I'm not sure if the Virtual Museum is public now, but for sure he will announce it: https://twitter.com/PrintsBySotalo/

And if you haven't attended Anthro Northwest on Seattle, WA. USA. I really recommend you to try it. It is advertised as a Family Friendly convention and I know many are kind of doubtful about it for it. But I can tell it is a very nice event organized with lot of heart and it's so comfortable the con space to hang out with friends, and it's one of the few conventions where I can actually attend panels and be part of the artist alley at the same time, since Artist Alley lasts only 3 hours and it's on the evening:
https://anthronw.com/