NokiMo
LazerPig
LazerPig

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Cutting room floor

I have a lot of shit laying around, so while I warm up my throat for some songs would you guys be interested in seeing what doesn't make it into a LazerPig video?

This incredibly high-resolution image above was from a joke I never got around to doing as a 1,000 subs special. Essentially I was talking about life down in "sewage tier Youtube" sailing slowly past all the other sewage tier Youtubers, including 10,000 squeakers making Minecraft bedwars tutorials, funny twitch moments compilations, student in their apartment cranking out awful song covers on their guitar, gym bros sitting on their couch talking about depression, every 'quirky' couple filming their vacation and taking endless shots of each other smiling as they bite into a cookie, the squeaker letsplays, the basic gays flouncing half-dressed around their apartment stating their political views, the basic beer gut bro in shades sitting in his car stating his political views, the endless stream of boring middle-class twats cooking the exact same recipes as everyone else, every chad and his friends with varied sound quality who all think they are funnier than they are 'highlights' reel, the worlds most boring man staring into a camera as he plays a game narrating everything happening on the screen, every young “entrepreneur” that is clearly just a trust fund baby teaching you that being successful is getting up early focusing your mind and having a working lunch, every hipster with a camera hanging out with his friends taking ""artistic"" photos of the sunset and trash in an alley, every drop-out med student giving you university survival tips as they struggle through a sociology major, every dumb fuck in a tie trying to sell you financial advice, and so on and so forth.

When, at some point, I get presented the email stating I had hit 1k subs. At which point I would scream "fuck this" climb up a ladder and open a hatch to find myself in "sub-sewage tier Youtube", the joke being it was sewers all the way up.

The person in the barrel with me is "Game like Mike" a gaming channel that started around the same time as mine, both of us were SumitoMedia fans who was mentoring us at the time.

He sadly didn't make it but I believe he concentrates more on his Twitch Streams now.

Cutting room floor

Comments

Gads man, subscribing to a Patreon account is the Internet equivalent of unconditional surrender. We have been metaphorically crushed beneath the treads of your indomitable content. I just wanted to learn a little about the T-34 and the next thing I know I'm screaming about the moral turpitude of youtube because I cannot now listen to a Scottish stranger's interpretation of "I Feel Like a Woman." Just give us anything and we will nod approvingly.

Nope. Don't dilute the brand, Wait until you are emperor of the universe and then any early shit can be passed off as formative and you can get celebrities to appear on Vox pops to say how they were always more into the early radical stuff. Also if it is problematic then it can be passed off as acceptable at the time. Which of course it was. because if it wasn't that means that future time travel was possible.So that artists in past times would have known that their content was problematic. Because they could have looked forward and seen that. I am very drunk.


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