It never fails, man.
Added 2020-10-04 10:27:37 +0000 UTCSeems like every time I catch my breath and feel like I'm about to hit a stride, something comes up and knocks me flat on my face. It's been family drama, health issues, more family drama, more health issues, and all of that distracting from my online presence which causes a whole new cascade of problems. I'm a goddamn broken record with this now, and I hate that. I want to be a source of positivity and enjoyment for you all and it's like I'm stuck in this negative feedback loop xD dfljgkhdlfkjh AHAHHHHH it's so frustrating.
I've had so many health related problems this year though so that's been especially scary. On top of fighting an ongoing war with depression and anxiety I've now become of a bit of a hypochondriac aaannnnd I'm afraid of hospitals. Sweeet.
As far as my recent news, I'm having some health scares that I'm dealing with atm that I want to talk about but I don't have all the details yet. I've got some appointments to get to and I'm gonna wait because it might be nothing and I'm completely terrified of course so I might make it sound worse than turns out to be xD; I will say that the last two weeks have been a lesson in pain management and panic attacks, holy christmas. Guys take care of yourselves, bodies are delicate dflkgjhd.
The worst of the panic has sort of settled into a numb waiting mode, so at least I'm able to divert my anxiety a little bit and I'll be doing my best to catch up where I can... Man though, every step forward this year has been such a freaking battle. I'm so tired of surprises, can I just.. go back to worrying about elnins that'd be absolutely glorious.
For those of you concerned or simply curious, I'll try to give some follow up on the health front as soon as I have some solid info. In the mean time I'm just gonna try to focus on getting work done. Get some blinders on and just do stuff so I don't lose my mind >< First step, patron update.. and then tomorrow I'll start with DMs and pending stuff for mods (I know there are some questions that have been sitting as well as I believe some concern about the old ToS wording that I'll take a look at) *deep breaths*
Comments
^^^ We need you to know that if you can't get back into the groove of things, that for both your own health and the health of the community that it is OKAY to step back, and give up some of that control.
2020-10-04 21:14:55 +0000 UTCSo I know I've spoken with you before about the whole mental health thing, I 100% agree that you should look after yourself and take care of yourself first. (Coming from a point that I was just put on medical leave for a month and told not to even look at work... It's hard.) But I feel as though you are in another area where you do have to consider that your CS is public and _massive_. Which means you have a lot of stress. It's ok to trust your mods to take care of things for you and to take a leave of absence. I'm sure they want you to be ok too and forcing yourself to go through all the scary things when you might not be ready to might just make it worse for you. Just saying, I think everyone will understand if you put patreon on pause and take a step back to just... relax. Take the breather if you need it.
Alibastar
2020-10-04 20:26:08 +0000 UTC
