Hot Tub Love Machine - 19
Added 2021-05-24 20:01:00 +0000 UTCHi, if you're not up to date on Hot Tub Love Machine, read the previous chapters here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1v1ImH4KsaLQI85l7FkALXw8ymh7E6IND7DK65wc4wfc/edit?usp=sharing
One more Monday and I'll have either a Doctor Nightmares or Small Town Goddesses story on the 31st.
Thank you all for your support!
Comments
I get that. I've never written a father character preying on a daughter before as an explicit scene, and I don't think I will. Probably not mother on son either, but I might write son on mother, (But probably not daughter on father. ) I'm still thinking about culling the detail about Emi's Dad being that much of a monster. The biggest reason, going back to it, is that Lucas doesn't respond strongly enough. He should stop everything for it and he sort of leaves it as a secret in Emi's own mind. It undercuts how much he loves his girls. Still gonna let it stew. The point for certain is Emi's dad is a piece of shit that torched the family when he left it. Salt the Earth so nothing would grow again, and I'm leaning towards that being enough. "Make your mom's life hell." is short and open, but I do want him to hurt Emi too. "Never try to find me, we're done." Is what I'm leaning towards. The short of it is: I'm still sorting it out. I'll go back and look at that specific chunk a bit more intensely after I at least get to the end of Ring Toss. Plus, it's not inhibiting me going forward with Hot Tub.
Neal Johnstone
2021-06-04 22:36:51 +0000 UTCMost of the time I don’t mind incest in erotic fiction. Sister’s and cousins are basically peers so I’m completely fine with that. In fact I kinda enjoy it. Even mothers I have no problems with. For instance if he were to get his mother and vonnie as revenge against Ryan I would find that quite enjoyable if that’s the course the story takes. But fathers I have never liked. Maybe it’s that father’s are supposed to be protectors. Doing that to ones daughter no matter how big of a POS you are is not particularly erotic in my eyes. I normally like it better when in mind control/influencing stories the MC unabashedly takes advantage of his abilities. That why I really enjoyed DPP and Price. But my sentiments change with a father involved.
Nick Cartwright
2021-06-04 20:49:48 +0000 UTCI totally understand, and am sorry to hear that, but thank you. I took the day to think on it. I knew that all of the girls had been love potioned before Lucas got to them. I wanted to use this chapter to explore that. The trigger phrase is something any frustrated parent could easily stumble upon so that Emi was hit by her father and then used to make Emi's mom miserable was easy to include. I intended from early on that Emi's Dad was a petty piece of shit who left and used scorched Earth tactics. I wanted it to be obviously bad and I made it subtleless. Lucas can't really mitigate the damage performed by Emi's dad within the scope of the primary story. (Maybe in epilogue.) Thanks for bringing this back to me. I might rewrite it, amp up the pettiness and tamp down the sheer abusiveness of Emi's dad. But, I think I need to revisit it after getting through the next couple of chapters. I should've hearted your comment the moment I saw it. I do that first and foremost to say I've read it, but I also didn't want to make it look like I was enjoying your discomfort before I was ready to comment on it.
Neal Johnstone
2021-05-30 01:06:37 +0000 UTCThe line about Emi being fucked by her dad really killed my enjoyment of this chapter. I stopped reading and considered not finishing at all. It took me days to finally pick it back up. During that time I considered quitting the series. I think I’m going to see it through but that has left a bad taste in my mouth.
Nick Cartwright
2021-05-29 07:33:16 +0000 UTCBreaking in a new bed is always great. Even if you're just having a nap, not throwing in with four sexually compatible women.
Neal Johnstone
2021-05-27 15:58:19 +0000 UTCNow what to say to Theo? What would he even believe. Maybe a hypothetical is the best route. Looking forward to the new bed. Nothing like a bed.
HardhatDoozer
2021-05-27 11:44:38 +0000 UTC
