(Vol 2) Chapter 63: Juxtaposition Limbo

Naturally, Azure had sat down right next to her at the table right from the get-go. Close. Chairs touching. Had insisted on serving her. Putting food on her plate. Filling her chalice. And Sammy had never once argued — in fact, she liked it. A comforting familiarity somehow, in that somewhat bewildering and overwhelming social environment.

But…

Just then, when she turned to the blue beauty, the latter had a colorfully garnished little cracker of some sort in her hand holding it right up to Sammy, grinning with delighted wide eyes. “You have to try this, Your Majesty! Tocky spread!”

And right up to Sammy’s lips it went. Half-stunned, her already-open mouth automatically received the delectable cracker… Closed to slowly chew… as the pleased expression of Azure not even an arm’s length away lit up her world.

She literally just hand-fed me. Wh- how did this happen?

When Sammy’s eyes flashed around at that exact moment, she caught fond expressions observing the exchange. Exactly the sort of fond expressions one would have seeing a cute couple doing cute couple things. Including Bast and Constance sitting close together!

Her cheeks suddenly felt like they were burning hot.

The rest of her got warm too, though, with a flush. Gooey feelings, ‘good’ butterflies. Almost a giddiness. She’d just been surprise-PDA’d, essentially, with a mix of embarrassment and… satisfaction. To have someone… someone that beautiful and amazing… doting on her and proud to…

What is happening to me?! I need to get a grip. I’ve been insistent! With myself! Yet I might as well have begged Azure to do what she did. Sending the signals so hard even bystanders see it. If she looked into my eyes right now and asked me to kiss her, I’d… I… want to — I want to right now-

Panicking, Samantha stood suddenly with the loud sound of a sliding chair. Suddenly, all heads turned to her and one could hear a pin if it dropped.

Breathless somehow, she muttered, “I have things to take care of. Pray continue.” She almost rushed off, but hesitated. “Thank you, all. It was delicious. We’ll eat together again. Save some dessert for me.” Then she forced a smile and met Michael’s eyes with a nod, who rose to follow her out.

Azure’s mind touched hers. “Samantha, I-”

“Please. Not now. Later. We’ll have a… talk. Later.”

Azure’s heart seemed to sink. “Yes, Your Majesty… I’m sorry…”

Sammy couldn’t keep the grimace off of her face as she draped her illusion back over herself and unbarred the door herself before one of Orswyth’s men could rush over to do it for her. She stalked out of the inn, annoyed with the situation. Mostly herself.

I need to separate more. I need to detach from her before it is too late. Especially now that we’re growing into multiple groups. Her and I, it needs to be like every other Follower. I am a Goddess. A special kind of love, a special relationship, but not that. It’s not right… I’m doing it to her… subtle charms, tantalizing us both with these desires…

78 Daily FE gained.

12 days down. Day 13? That’s a big one.

She and the silent Michael went up to the potter’s rooftop again, now in the twilight. She didn’t think they were observed. Whoever was inside the potter’s home wasn’t watching, or they were away. But Sammy never approached the front of the building anyway.

At the top, she sat down to meditate a little bit. Namely to replenish PFE, bumping it from 38 to 68 for 6 FE. Of course, her head was still on Azure and their infatuations. Infatuation. That was a good word. Well, actually, it sounded like the way a dried-up old hag would characterize it.

That’ll be me. A bitter, grouchy hag that pushes everyone away. Another dumb thought, considering how her Followers saw her. But it could change. She was young, after all.

When she thought about separating herself from Azure, it pained her. She thought about the things the System had told her about the faux body. She could turn it off. Sexual desire and romantic inclinations… Oh sure, it had some intellectual components, but some of the most intense aspects were not in the brain. If she could simply ‘observe’ lust in a detached way…

She almost did it right then and there. All the control she’d suddenly have… how much she could just laugh at it all. Shrug things off. Surely it would become a cakewalk comparatively…

I could do as I’ve aspired. Be a Goddess foremost. Embrace the Virgin aspect, even.

The moment of decision came… and went. She rejected the impulse. The counter temptation.

Taking the easy road out of humanity? No. I can’t. I just can’t do that. I won’t give up anything of Samantha Elizabeth Reine. I’ll suffer it just like they have to.

Briefly, in her head, she asked the System, “Hey, System, what was my original designation? The one before I made you call me Sammy. My Username.”

User samantha_elizabeth_reine44444.

She laughed out loud as she read it. Exactly. How I came into this fucking world. Just one in a billion of the aggregate. It’s important. I can’t lose sight of that. I can’t just flush it down the toilet. If I fuck up because of it, so be it.

What exactly she was going to tell Azure that she hadn’t already, she didn’t know. But she understood that… her Blueberry… had gotten excited by the recent inroads. It was blatantly clear she wanted to be her lover. Sammy had no real right to tell her she couldn’t ‘wait.’ All she could do was state intent and create distance. And try to get a handle on her subconscious desires filtering to her…

The problem was she still didn’t want to do that. She still felt a profound weakness in her willpower to look her in the eye and do it, whatever she told herself.

What she wanted to do was march back in there, wrap her new girlfriend into her arms, kiss lips desperately begging for it passionately in front of everyone, then-

Not helping! Fucking hell… what am I going to do…

‘You’d be amazed at what we’ve done. What we would do. Gazing at a tiny facet and obsessing? The gleaming tip of an iceberg. Put it to Fate.’ The last word echoed in Sammy’s head.

Her eyes opened from meditation she’d long since finished, somewhat stunned by the words. But she’s right. This is what the tarot is for.

Samantha reached into a pocket of her dress — of course it had pockets! — and there was the deck. She had not consciously made it a part of the [Birdy Dress] outfit… she didn’t need to. The deck was always available to her. It might as well be a part of her.

She thumbed over the card backs… rather reflective dark ones with her symbology all over them. The eye, naturally, in pearlescent white. She began shuffling, and whispered the question, “What should I do about Azure and our relationship?”

Then she did a one-card pull, flicking it off the top of the deck to float in the air. It spun around like a top until it froze into position.

A figure robed in gray, holding a living staff of branching green in one hand, a resplendent lantern in the other with a star in the middle. The lantern, shutters peeking open to unleash, cast many colored beams that glinted with hints and teases of patterns within. The face was feminine, but entirely reflective, as were her hands. Mirrored. The sky is clear, but in the distance are mountains.

It was also completely horizontal.

“What the fuck?”

It was incredibly cryptic. The Hermit upright… introspection, contemplation, inward to the self, reflection… The Hermit reversed would be loneliness, isolation, rejection, and not self-imposed. The themes perhaps added up to describe what Sammy was balancing. Or what Azure was. Was it both of them, caught in the middle?

In its purest sense, it would seem to be trying to say she had to… balance her response. But then there was all the other stuff. Intuitively, she felt that it was communicating another layer of meaning beyond anything so mundane as her question. And this made ‘balance your response’ wrong.

Basically, she’d just been told ‘Who gives a shit? Here’s what matters.’

The figure is both of us. The mirrored reflection and her. She reflects? The Chameleon. Or is that word she chose so long ago irrelevant? Beams of many colors held in her hand, altering reality. Illusions? Power to the star within. Hmm.

“What does it mean, Fortuneteller?” But there was no answer.

It was about Azure to some degree — who was an increasing puzzle to her. The Fortuneteller was tight-lipped on this lover. A card certainly couldn’t be assigned. Each time that happened for real, there was a massive shift. Bast with Chariot, Merril/Crow with… with Death.

She hadn’t really sat down and contemplated what had happened there with Crow, beyond his salvation. Things had been frenetic. But that was what he was, maybe even ‘who.’ Whatever that meant. But she recalled the Fortuneteller’s words about his constraints.

Is it true of everyone, then? They were More, as hinted from that and from Tashome’s memories, then got distilled over time? Now they’re like children in a sandbox. And I’m no different, am I?

To someone as vast as the Fortuneteller, the difference between any of them in age would be wholly irrelevant. Bast, Crow, Orswyth, all like kids. Though she did seem to be having fun with them at times…

Sammy had to shake herself out of it. She was getting lost in pondering and not getting anywhere. She reached over, took the card to put it back in the deck, and then stowed it.

Is Azure another? High Priestess? Isn’t that obvious?

Michael was eyeing her. Sammy smiled and quirked an eyebrow at him. “Any opinions, oh newly minted one?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes you have no real choice but to wing it as you go. Read the defense and take a shot. But if you read too long, you just get hit before you can even take it, and the play is over.”

Sammy exhaled in wan amusement. “Yeah. There aren’t any answers in this playbook, just more questions.”

She dematerialized momentarily, to put her full focus on assisting Jeeves in the search for that man they’d seen. And really, any threat in particular. But nothing turned up… she didn’t know what she was looking for. There were always things and people to be suspicious about, but leads resisted them.

When prayers began filtering in, she filled in some of her specialized pools. Light at 27 FE was probably fine, but the rest needed reinforcement.

24 FE (Mirrors, Fate, Light) obtained from worship. 7 converted to Mirrors FE. 3 converted to Fate FE.

10 FE (Illusion, Fate, Light) obtained from worship. Converted to Illusion FE.

4 FE (Fate, Light) obtained from worship. Converted to Fate FE.

2 FE (Illusion) obtained from worship. Converted to Illusion FE.

She sent out a message as well, telling everyone to remember the Goddess of Illusion more in their prayers. Due to its necessity for various things, including expensive Persistent investiture, she was going to need it kept well-stocked.

Aware of movement, she checked in on the man who had delivered the letter to Brackenhome. Andemen’s man in Geirkos. The location, always spied from a distance due to a mirror in a corner, was some sort of alehouse that had very little traffic that she’d seen. A front, she supposed.

The man’s back was to her from the perspective, sitting at a table maybe reading or writing. A couple of other petty thug types were.

No time like the present, right? It isn’t that far anyway, not with Michael around.

“What do you say we do a little… information gathering on our friend Andemen’s intentions, eh, Mikey?”

Michael grinned. “I’m with you on the field and off, Your Majesty. A little talk never hurts… much.”

____________________________________________________________

« (Vol 2) Chapter 62 | Table of Contents | * 'Who GIVES a fuck?!' * »

____________________________________________________________

======================================================

======================================================

____________________________________________________________

Samantha, Virgin Goddess of Mirrors & Illusion
____________________________________________________________

Goddess Level 3 [16/30]; Minor Deity

Domains (4/4): Mirrors, Illusion, Fate, Light
Faith Energy: 1038/3000
FE (Mirrors): 12 ; FE (Illusion): 23 ; FE (Fate): 12 ; FE (Light): 27
Followers: 51 (Daily FE Gain: 71 [78])

Devout: 13
Priests: 6+1

Brute: 0
Rogue: 0 [2/10]
Wizard: 2 [10/30]
Bard: 1 [9/20]

MP: 40/40

Special Skills: First Aid, Tarot Reading, Meditation, Comprehension, Priestly Ordination, Holy Relic Investiture, Create Servitor, Read Runes, Spell Construction, Detect Magic, Ritual Cast, Draw Mana (1/1), Inspire Ally (2/2), Musical Talent

Special Traits: Token User, Immortal, Demiplane Domain, Conceptual Body, Fueled By Faith, Detection Ward, Split Prediction, Perfect Vision, Light Absorption, Avatar (Samantha; Core, Mental Res 1, Magic Res 1, PFE: 68/70)

Spells: Identify (5 MP), Icebolt (3 MP)

Powers: Faith Energy Utilization, Grant Prayer (Illusion, Fate, Light), Mirror: (Sense, Communication, Maze, Walk, Other), Intuition, Alter Fate, Create Illusion, Grant Invisibility, Dazzling Spectrum, False Auras, Mirroring Duplicates, Reflect Force, Light Manipulation, The Dawn Will Rise

Status: Token User Promotional Bonus (12/30), Free Priestly Ordination (1 use)

____________________________________________________________

Note: Ready for shit to get real? :P

Note 2: A chameleon changes color not by chemical pigments but by structural changes in how light reflects off of their skin.