Chapter 52: How 'Bout This Tea?

Shortly after cleaning off the guts and blood of the piece of shit mosquito that decided to crash their spiritual party (and totally got what it deserved!), Sammy summarized the events of the night for Azure and brought her up to speed on Zadkiel in general. Due to the sensitivity and general paranoia, Sammy communicated most of it via the mental link, even if she seriously wanted to talk talk with Azure.

I honestly feel Chatting Withdrawal. Uuugh, makes me miss Jen… can’t we all just have a pool party in my head or something?

“Zadkiel is not to be trusted,” Azure said, “But it cannot be said he does not take care of those he considers his own… who show themselves worthy in his eyes. If you are capable, useful, and show the capacity for loyalty or honorable dealings, he could in fact be an ally or neutral. Cordial.”

“That’s not how he put it at all. He said anyone is either his ally or his enemy.”

“Bluster. Look at the Southlands — they are not staunch allies but are cordial. It must be so with Redberry.”

“Well, I don’t really know about Geirkos and the Southlands, but he wants Redberry as an ally, for sure…” Amongst other fruits she offers… well, doesn’t offer, actually.

“So there you have it, hmm? Not an ally, but cordial. Perhaps that is where we want to be, in the long term.”

“I mean, I can certainly shake the posterior of greater potential in front of him while giving him a taste here and there of what I can do, never actually going anywhere tangible with him.”

A brief spike of shock, then flagrant amusement from Azure. “That certainly speaks to my language, Your Majesty… may I ask your origins? It’s okay if you don’t want to say, but I can’t help being curious.”

Sammy didn’t even hesitate with her High Priestess, someone who understood wearing different faces quite well. “I speak this in confidence, but I’m a Transplant. From another world entirely. I was a mortal.”

Azure seemed thrilled by it, and even — strangely — proud. “Oh, that is wonderful, Goddess! One of us, truly. It fits, somehow. The face in the mirror, familiar and alien both. The future could be bright this way, dare we to hope. But you must tell me of your world, sometime.”

Sammy grinned. “I’d love that, definitely. I’ve gathered that most deities ascend from initially humble origins as spirits, hmm?”

“Quite. They rise as protectors or champions of their ilk or thrive off of mortal belief, or both, gradually gaining personality, sapience, intent. I think mortal worship is required for the path to true deity, but regardless it is a very long, long process, and the Dominion is certainly adept at catching it at the easier stages to squash.”

“They must be managing this somehow in the Southlands, too.”

“Of course. Proxy agents. Exorcists and ‘monster hunters.’ Of course, those that venture too deep into the wilds often don’t return. Bogs especially are wise to avoid.”

“It does seem to suggest deities could be born within Redberry’s domain. Feasible enough for this to occur to Zadkiel.”

“The only issue is mortal worship, as they have a history of seclusion since the war, and the people barely believing in them other than Redberry. Legends do grow with time. Some are less capable of becoming actual deities than others, I think. Such as the Big Hairy Man.”

“Hmmm… you mean Bigfoot?”

“What?”

“Same thing, legends from my world. Tall, furred, man… thing.”

“But why ‘Big Foot’ of all things?”

“I guess because of the massive footprints found in mud and so on.”

“But why name it that? Big Hairy Man is much more accurate.”

“Ok.” Deadpan, and deliberately like the One Punch Man meme.

“At any rate, it is certainly not common or easy for a spirit to ascend to godhood in this environment.”

“And this is not how Zadkiel ascended, right?”

“Zadkiel was a mortal hero, an unstoppable warrior according to legend, who eventually became a warlord. He cultivated worship through his might. Winning battles, wars, over and over and over. The Land of Naug had never seen such a power. It was said he was the Lord of Demons reborn, the ancient ancestor returned in spirit to lead the people to their destined conquest of the world.”

“Guess that explains his bloated ego… it's how he rose in the first place. Doesn’t explain the wizard thing, though.”

“I’m afraid I have no explanation there. Either he spent the early period of his godhood developing it, or… legends are replete with his enchanted items, supposedly blessed by the Other World — what I suppose non-Naugites would call Hell. The Gauntlet of Force and Fire, The Crown of the Pentacle, the bronze armor Gleaming Infernal… the Maul Supreme, Gaulfinnitus.”

Gaulfinnitus? Sounds like an STD for fuck’s sake. There’s a cream for that, Zad.

“Sounds sufficiently ridiculous,” Sammy sent. “So he might’ve been faking it all behind wizardry. Ha! That’s pretty hilarious to consider.”

“Could be a combination of an item or two, and wizardry.” There was the interruption of a yawn. “Who knows…”

“Well, one thing we do know is you need to go to sleep. So get to it. I hope you enjoy having an actual bed again.”

“I’ve already plopped in it and could scarcely get up out. What a soft old maid I’ve become! I used to sleep on planks with nothing more than a cloak!”

Chuckling, Sammy said out loud through the mirror, “If you’re old, you’re very well-preserved. Always enjoy the finer things as you can. I’m sure there will be more opportunities to show your grit, too. Goodnight, Azure.”

Sammy disengaged from mind and mirror. She checked on everyone’s sleeping and added sleep aid buffs where needed. Teresa, the Greenleaf believer, was someone she was pretty much just helping out in that way automatically, largely subconsciously, because it was very routine and assumed necessary.

Mekias contacted Greenleaf through some awkward prayer, his mind and body plainly exhausted and running on fumes. He reported everything was fine and he was treated well. Naturally, they went through the process of him becoming a Follower of Greenleaf.

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1 FE gained due to user belief/acknowledgment. Note: not yet a Follower.

Follower conversion successful. 1 FE gained. 1 Daily FE gained (total: 20).
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After that, he went to bed in a lavish guest room within a palace. It took everything within Sammy not to check a mirror. But she was too paranoid about Zadkiel noticing somehow. Especially knowing he was a potentially very high-level Wizard. In any case, she’d grill for information another time.

It was somewhat annoying being 5 measly FE from 1000 and becoming the long-awaited level 2 Goddess, but it was the dead of night. With the morning, it would be hers, from the prayers of…

Shit, Merril might not pray. Will Dax? Eh, doesn’t matter. I can easily snag me a Bob for the remainder. I can always count on Bob. Bob is fucking legit.

Once more, she tried Redberry, but there was no response. She did a lot of one-way blathering about Zadkiel, hoping there was something of it absorbed. It annoyed her, but she didn’t have the energy to get angry… At least it was likely that the nature goddess was probably blotting out Mr. Unwantedly In Love as well. One could only hope.

She better realize she can’t keep doing this! I need to talk to her…

She unwound a little bit laying in her bed in the mind-house, cuddling with a purring Floofa. It was almost like a bit of sleep or a nap, doing literally nothing for a spell. A lulling meditation. No spellcraft… no quests… no prayers and answers… nothing… the purring, the bed…

It was at that point that a goddess managed to zone out — to fall asleep.

An unknown but likely brief time later, Sammy found herself at the pool, feet dangling in the cool water, her customary bikini on, the straw hat, the sunglasses, and a Mai Tai sitting next to her. The dream version was more relaxing than usual. But then she heard numerous bubbles of exclamation nearby, and she turned her head in utter disbelief.

The original ten of the Followers of Samantha were clustered nearby, there on the patio near the pool, and every single one of them was in pool wear — bathing suits. Colorful. Lots of skin showing. Sammy was utterly stunned.

And they were reacting like they were there, in various states of ‘what the fuck just happened?!’

“Your Majesty!” Orswyth called in greeting. He laughed and gestured at himself, bare-chested in shorts, then did a kind of hop. “I have my strength here! I feel back in my prime!”

Azure was smiling too, looking around at everything in sheer fascination, filling out her gold bikini, well… like a model. Or an actress at peak fitness. Her ‘curse mark’ was gone. “This is incredible! Beautiful!”

Bast was ogling Azure, dropping down sunglasses to check her out, while sipping from the straw of his own Mai Tai, as if he accepted everything about the dream instantly. “Indeed it is,” he muttered with a smirk.

Dax had her hands on her hips, frowning at Sammy in judgment, red-faced. She had on a huge straw hat and a yellow bathing suit. Meanwhile, Merril plopped down on the patio, sighing and shaking his head. “Idiots.”

Carlisle and Canmore were just utterly bewildered, spinning around and looking, saying nothing. Gray-skinned Galynth stood stiffly with his hands clenched into fists, face pale and his eyes squeezed shut, muttering prayers.

Estara looked dumbstruck as well and was covering her chest shyly with her arms, as red-faced as Dax. “I-I-I’m almost naked!”

“Different cultures, different customs, dear,” Tashome said with a shrug. He winked at Sammy, said, “I’m not passing this up, though,” then cannonballed into the pool, splashing numerous people who yelped and dodged away.

Sammy had scrambled to her feet, soon drawing everyone’s gaze. “I-I didn’t mean to!” An instant later, she just banished the whole thing, willing herself awake.

Shooting up in the bed with a gasp and looking around to make sure no one had followed- no that was ridiculous- shit.

Fuck-fuck-fuck, sleeping was a bad idea!

She transitioned to her throne, flitting to the minds of Followers, finding them all still fast asleep. But there were signs of her blip of weirdness in their emotional states… she wasn’t reading their dreams or thoughts, but she could still tell many were puzzled and bewildered… Estara was embarrassed… Dax annoyed… Azure and Bast disappointed (for entirely different reasons).

“Fucking hell… it did happen… most just won’t remember it? Hopefully. Can’t blame me if they forget!”

When she checked on Tashome, though, there was… something like a knowing mental grin waiting for her, and even from within his dreams, he sent, “I’ll never tell, Goddess. Thanks for the amusement. Your mind is exceptionally creative. The details were vivid.”

Sammy took a deep, calming breath. “You’re not going to forget, are you?”

“I’d sort of rather not.”

“I… didn’t realize that could happen when I slept. I’m not supposed to need to, but I did anyway.”

“You wanted it, so it happened. Same thing with pulling us into your dream. You are a living idol, an icon of inspiration to us, that’s what we accepted. Of course you can do such things.”

“It’s certainly… nice to have some way of meeting in more presence before I have an Avatar.”

“Hmm. It’s better, though, isn’t it? This is you, while an Avatar is a meat engine to pilot around.”

“That’s an interesting perspective, Tashome.”

“Hey, look, you can enter our dreams, too, Goddess.” He seemed to unveil to her what appeared to be a small home, and a small kitchen. Tashome was in a dark robe, and nearby a stove had a golden teapot boiling on top. “Why don’t you come over for some tea? Informal dress.”

“I-... uh. Sure.”

Despite the oddity, Sammy found it very natural to just pop into the dream. From one moment to the next she was there, staring into a wall mirror of more vibrant clarity than the rest of the environment. She was clad in blue robes with iridescent butterflies, and ditching all the lavish jewelry for a simple, smaller, crystalline diadem.

“Aup- no shoes!” Tashome called cheerfully without turning around from preparations.

“Sorry.” Sammy deleted the shoes from her feet.

“Have a seat in the dining room, if you like.”

Sammy edged past Tashome to the location. She was struck by the lack of details — everything was smudged, as though she were in a slightly abstract painting. It certainly had its own charm. The table was the low kind, with big cushions on the floor. Sammy took a seat.

Tashome and the teapot coming in were more real than the rest. As he eyed the teacups, they also became more realized. White ceramics with gold flowering. He sat down and poured slightly steaming green tea for them both, then raised his in a simple salute. No particular ceremony.

Sammy returned the gesture and they sipped. It was green tea, but like none she’d ever had before. Delicate, slightly sweet, hints of grassiness, buttery.

“That’s lovely,” Sammy said with a smile. Tashome returned it, nodding.

They sipped for a good, peaceful while, eventually chatting about literally nothing important. Tea leaves, proper preparation therein, coffee, mixed drinks, food, bad jokes, art. Random things, silly things, this and that. Shooting the shit.

Nothing important at all, but infinitely necessary.

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