Kinktober 2022 #10: Sci-Fi Weight Gain

The first thing Tabby did with her time machine was plot out when she would eat first. There was infinite variety to choose from: medieval feasts, ancient Greek marketplaces, a Ming dynasty lunch banquet. But a friend had been raving about the late 20th century, and Tabby wasn’t one to miss out.

Tabby used a replicator to put together an appropriate outfit for the United States in 1992: fitted black lycra bike shorts, an oversized white t-shirt with a design on the front commemorating a school walk-a-thon from the year prior, and a varicolored neon windbreaker to tie it all together.

Tabby was a little worried about fitting in in the 20th century, even with her period-accurate ensemble. It was well-documented that 25th-century waistlines were many inches rounder than they had been at any point in the past, which could make time travel complicated. But the instruction manual provided by her time machine’s manufacturer highlighted the late 20th and early 21st century as safe for even the most full-figured: “While thinness was prioritized, fatness was not uncommon, and food in this time period was abundant and cheap.”

This was reassuring, as Tabby was fat even by her own time’s standards. At just over 400 pounds, she was the third largest person in her friend group, which skewed larger to begin with. That also explained why they were all getting into the new time machine craze. Up until a few years before, time machines had been fancy toys for the richest people, touted as a way to “learn history in real time.” But as they’d trickled down to the masses, their marketing changed, instead touting the past as a vacation destination. The hyper-personalized marketing Tabby had been bombarded with before she finally caved and purchased one had shown her different foods she could try if only she bought it: the first loaf of bread ever baked, the sheer variety of ancient stuffed dumplings, bowls of steaming noodles and broth that made her mouth water.

No surprise, then, that her first sojourn (and every other after that) was planned entirely around food tourism.

She got into her time machine, sat through the extremely boring safety lecture about time paradoxes, and then she was there. She’d chosen the downtown area of a larger city, near a mall. She’d heard a whole lot about mall food courts.

First, though, she wanted to try the delicacy her friend hadn’t stopped gushing about for weeks: Pizza Hut. Walking through the doors felt like going to another planet. The sights and smells were familiar, yet alien. Coming from a world of replicators, hearing the sounds of people working in a kitchen in the back seemed exotic and perhaps a little dangerous. She told the person at the counter that she was a tourist who had never eaten at Pizza Hut before, and asked them what their most popular dish was. The cashier looked her up and down and smirked before suggesting a large pepperoni pizza and an order of breadsticks, along with a large soda. Tabby ordered and paid (with cash! How novel!) and then sat down in a booth to wait for her order.

The booth was a tight squeeze, so she tried to focus on the atmosphere instead. It was the middle of the day, so the restaurant was fairly quiet. The wood paneling made everything feel warm and cozy. The lights hanging around the restaurant had gorgeous stained glass lampshades that read “Pizza Hut” around each one. There were a couple kids standing in front of what looked like a rudimentary game which let out little electric chirps. And the smell! Tabby’s mouth was already watering. She couldn’t wait to see what all the fuss was about.

When her food was ready, she picked up the food from the counter, eyes widening. The portions seemed huge – far too large for one person. But it all smelled and looked amazing. She took it back to her booth. The pizza was piping hot, but the smell was so intoxicating she couldn’t help but take a bite right away. The gooey melted cheese was slightly oily and seemed far too salty. Both of these were things that might ordinarily have put her off. But when combined with the squishy, chewy crust and the crispy pepperoni? It was like magic. She’d scarfed an entire piece before she even realized, and was already grabbing another.

Three slices later, she chugged down a few gulps of soda. It was nauseatingly sweet, almost syrupy, but like the pizza it was addictive. She nearly downed the entire cup right there, but stopped, pacing herself. The sweetness was overwhelming, but there was complexity there, too – layers of flavor she couldn’t even really describe. Citrus? Spices? It didn’t really matter. It felt like it had been designed to hit every pleasure center in her brain.

She tried a breadstick next, actually moaning aloud a bit as she chewed through the lightly crispy outside to get to the soft, steaming innards. Again, she had trouble describing the flavor. There was garlic, to be sure, and it was so, so salty, and yet bland at the same time. She could’ve eaten them forever. But then there was pizza, and more soda, and just one more slice of pizza, and maybe just a couple more breadsticks…

Soon enough, Tabby had gorged her way through an entire large pepperoni pizza, a full order of breadsticks, and had gotten herself a couple refills of soda. Her belly was packed, but it was harder than she would’ve thought not to just order more. She certainly wasn’t hungry and could practically feel her extremities retaining water after all the sodium she’d consumed, but she swore she could’ve eaten two or three more pizzas. Their menu was extensive, too – she could spend a couple weeks here eating for every meal and not run out of combinations.

Still, there were other things she’d been hoping to try. This entire era offered a plethora of chain restaurants, and Tabby still had several on her list that she’d promised herself she would try. The pinch of the booth on her stuffed tummy was a good reminder that she should get up and walk off her meal, and maybe find some other treats along the way.

Even so, popping her time travel cherry with Pizza Hut had been revelatory, and she wasn’t sure anything else could stand up to it. She scooted out of the booth with some effort, and spent some time looking at the menu before she left. There was so much else to try, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to resist coming back.