NokiMo
smallbrainedamerican
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DC Man on the Street Failed Video Attempt

I recorded a video in July 2023 where I tried to do a man on the street video, and interview psychopaths at the White House. It went horribly wrong later in the video, so I deleted the footage and audio file, but this is what remains.

I talk about this in the podcast "The Most Embarrassing Video I Never Posted" and I didn't wanna post anything from this day for the public, so here ya go. 7 minutes of cursed audio.

The podcast can be found here https://youtu.be/3vtF_9sDQuc I'm not sure when it's going live for the public, so I'll give you guys early access so you have some more context.


I'll give you the rundown in case you don't wanna listen to the podcast episode- I start the video shotgunning a beer at the White House. I've got a backpack full of beer, and the plan is to crush the entire bag, handing out beers and interviewing strangers all day. I shotgun a beer (right in front of a cop), then interview a semi-homeless person protesting in front of the White House.

But right from the start, it goes horribly wrong. First off, when I pierced the can to shotgun, it sprayed all over my t shirt. After I've shotgunned the beer, I glance over and realize there's a cop staring right at me. She doesn't seem to mind, though, because The White House is just littered with all kinds of psychopaths and homeless people. It's my intention to interview these people.

The goal was to try and branch out, try something new. I had been doing raw travel vlogs for a while, and it wasn't working- I had spend my life savings on a trip from Ireland to Japan that resulted in nothing more than a failing YouTube channel and some serious self-doubt.

I thought it might be fun to make a man-on-the-street video.

I'm trying to make a humorous video but I end up just interviewing a clinically insane person, trying to make light of their situation. I'm asking him some bullshit like "What does it mean to be an American?" Then he goes off on a tangent for 5 minutes and I desperately try to get him to stop talking. "This is gonna be such a pain in the ass to edit," I think.

In the background, you can hear the Black Israelites (a hate group that wants to enslave white people, because that's what a just God would want) spewing their hate and screaming into a microphone the most hateful bible verses imaginable. Talkin' about brimstone and hell fire, seeking justice on your enemies, crazy shit like that.

I say something like "I wonder what these guys are up to," and the audio stops.

I walk over to them, timidly, with my awkward smile, in an attempt to disarm them. They seem like the opposite of friendly. They're standing in a semi-circle, shoulder to shoulder- about a dozen of them, all at least 6 feet tall, 240+ pounds, burning incense, screaming bible verses into a microphone in some kind of 1960's Malcom X southern baptist accent.

This was July 2023, about 3 months before the YouTube channel took off. I was still hopelessly desperate for any good video ideas, and this was the best idea I could come up with at the time. So, putting myself in harm's way for 1000 views (what equates to about $7 on YouTube), I approached them with my lav mic in hand, ready to ask them what they thought about America.

If this sounds cringe, it's because it is. And this is why I never posted the video, and actually, I deleted the footage right after it happened. My SD card felt cursed having the footage on there.

At first, they don't let me pass, they don't let me approach, and all 15 of them look at me very suspiciously, as if I had just infiltrated their secret and exclusive meeting. Keep in mind they've gathered publicly, on a public holiday, at one of the most iconic spots in America. Usually, these people love to be interviewed, so they can spread their message. I mean, they were screaming into a microphone- I figured they would want to be heard by 500 additional people online. That kind of exposure is priceless.

I timidly approached with my question ready, into the incense smoke and just a few feet from the screaming prophet. The 6'2" row of linebackers looked at me as if I was their enemy, and one of them put a hand on my chest, signifying I was to go no further. He asked what my business was- I told him I wanted to interview him. He said "No. You can talk to our speaker." He ushered me through the dense crowd, towards the screaming prophet, and into the center of the semi circle.

I said "Hello," quite awkwardly.

He and the other linebacker looked up at me but continued to shout from the Old Testament. Then, after a brief pause, and another hostile glance at me, flipped to a new verse. Now, he was shrieking about how God wants to seek justice on his enemies. I wondered if this had to do with me.

At this point, I wanted to get the fuck out of there. But it was far too late. I'm surrounded by the starting defensive line for the Alabama Crimson Tide, incense is burning in my face, I'm being recorded by their media team (a guy with a huge DSLR camera on a gimbal), and all eyes are on me as I receive this verbal beating.

I couldn't just cower away- if I came this far, I'm going to ask my question. But it was not my turn to ask a question- in the Sacred Semicircle, you only speak when spoken to. After he finished his hate-filled bible verse, he asked me a pointed question "Do you believe in a just God?"

I said "Maybe, yeah."

He said "No, not maybe. Yes or no."

I think a "yes" whispered through my lips.

With this logical check mate in hand, he then asked "So, if your people enslaved my people, don't you think we should enslave you?"

I was speechless. I had no idea what to say to this. I thought they were just normal religious zealots- I had no idea they were calling for the enslavement of an entire race of people.

I whispered out a cowardly "Maybe."

At this point, I blacked out from embarrassment. He continued to scream into his microphone about how white people deserved to die and be enslaved, while I did my best to slink away, wishing I was dead.

I've never attempted another video like that one, and I don't think I ever will. I don't have the gene that Andrew Callaghan from Channel 5 or Brandon Buckingham have, that can just hear the most absolutely batshit crazy conspiracies, nod along, then come back with a cogent follow-up question. When I stand face to face with a psychopath, I freeze. When they tell me Biden is a half-lizard person, and Trump is in the KKK, and all white people deserve to be enslaved, I have no idea what to say. This was a very healthy wake up call to not try to go too far out of my lane. It's good to try new styles, but this one is not for me.

Comments

Personally, I think it is good you posted it anyway! It's good content AND even though you may have felt embarrassed, you still pulled through for us! You're a real one!

Becca Z

Oh, America the beautiful! It's such a shame the video didn't record right. I would've love to see that crazy vid.

Troy Runyan


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