Manic Analysis- "Clementine"

LOVE the interpretation of "you" being referring to themselves! I am so glad you enjoy my reactions, and I am glad you're here!

English Teacher KP

I do not know how I am just now seeing this, but thank you so much for being here!

English Teacher KP

This is so interesting because I always felt the “you” was themselves. She’s presenting this polished image of a manic episode as Halsey, with Ashley in the background breaking through and presenting us with the unpolished reality of how it feels away from the art. Anyway, I adore these reactions. You’re uniquely qualified to get Halsey on a first listen, which is so hard to do with how dense their lyrics are!

Mary Kate Doyle

So happy I joined your Patreon after seeing the 'ashley' reaction on YouTube! I love this album and, as someone who was recently diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, it is a massive comfort, as well as a flashing warning sign. Terrifying, intruiging, and honest! <3

Halsey came out in an interview saying she never called herself tri bi and that the magazine that quoted her saying that she was extremely offended and really mad about it.

Nikki S

Thank you so much for sharing this! I love hearing what these songs mean to you guys! Music is so incredible; it's amazing how much better we feel when we just feel seen ❤❤❤

English Teacher KP

This song means so much to me. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 17 years old, and at the time, that meant everything to me. I felt unwanted, I felt ugly, I felt unneeded. And when I listened to this song, I felt heard. So much of my mental illness and depression at the time was connected to how undesired I felt, and repeating to myself "I don't need anyone, I don't need anyone, I just need everyone and then some" felt like taking out some of the weight on my shoulders and in my mind and putting it onto the song, at least for a moment.

Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it! I will say that your interpretation does make sense, too! When I was in graduate school, I learned a lot about the physical effects of trauma on development. Certainly, if Halsey has experienced a lot of trauma in her life, it would account for the morbid nature of the lines.

English Teacher KP

I really enjoyed your interpretation of the "do the insides of all of my fingers still look the same?" part. It's my favorite line in this song because the way I've interpreted it has resonated so much with me but it's so different than how you saw it, which I love and found really refreshing! I always thought of it in a more biological way because my background is in biology and psychology. I've always viewed it as very literal, like "does every structure and detail inside my body still look as it once did?". So when people experience a severe trauma and/or several traumatic events, especially when before the age of 18, a part of their genetic code called the epigenetics can be significantly altered. Halsey has experienced many traumatic events throughout their life and that line always made me think back to the epigenetics thing but I know it probably wasn't intended to mean what I interpreted it to be and I absolutely love yours, it makes it so much more lighthearted and less heavy. I really love this album and I'm so excited to hear your thoughts on the rest of it!

Thanks for sharing this! I definitely picked up on the contradictions, and I can see how they are likely related to mania. I like your suggestion about reading up on mania before continuing, and I'll definitely do that!

English Teacher KP

Watching you try to make some sense out of the chaos of being in a manic episode was so funny (or in my case hypomanic bc I have bp2 whereas Halsey I believe has bp1). It’s chaotic for us too, and for the people around us. I can’t relate to the hyper sexual piece that a lot of individuals with bipolar disorder experience bc I’m asexual, but the “I don’t need anyone/I just need everyone” is so relatable for me. I’ve gone and told everyone I know off cuz I knew better and I didn’t need them but then stayed up all night texting people desperate for someone to text me back and angry at myself for burning those bridges. Mania is contradictory. That’s not even touching the depression side. Just the mania by itself is wild enough. I recommend going to NIMH and reading up about bipolar before continuing. It’ll help you a lot.

I agree with you 100% regarding the repetition! As for "anyone" vs "everyone", I definitely appreciate your interpretation. "Everyone" is certainly "bigger" than "anyone"!

English Teacher KP

I assumed the boys/girls line had to do with their sexuality, so I'm glad I wasn't too far off there! I also knew that Halsey is 1/4 black. Funny story- when I originally saw Halsey in the "Boy With Love" MV with BTS, I immediately knew she was "mixed" with something. I asked my husband what ethnicity he thought she was, and he thought I was crazy until we looked it up. I'm half white/half black, so my son is actually 1/4 black just like Halsey. He is also a what most would consider a "white-passing" bi-racial person as well.

English Teacher KP

I came to the same conclusion there at the end once I started talking everything through!

English Teacher KP

I've always thought that the line "underneath the shelter of the balcony" vs "on the floor of the mezzanine" was a way to phrase like, "would you give me affection in both public and private?". The balcony is hidden away and a "shelter" but the floor of the mezzanine is kind of in full view of the seats of the theatre. I don't know if that was her intention, but that's always been my interpretation!

Jess E

i love the idea of "Violent Rain" being an illusion to the hair colors :) and the line "the boys always call, and the girls do too" is referring to her sexuality, which comes into play a little later in the album! When Halsey was younger she used to joke she was "tri-bi" meaning bisexual, bipolar, and biracial. And while she still identifies with all of those things, she's since admitted that making light of them with that title wasn't the best approach. And the "7 foot tall" line is cute cause Halsey is known to be very short :D I'm so ready for the next song!!

Camila Dejesus

I think the juxtaposition of “anyone” and “everyone” is really interesting here. Anyone almost implies a singular someone and the idea of having someone who’s “your person” (it also reminds me of one of my favorite poems “anyone lived in a pretty how town” where anyone is personified). On the other hand everyone implies more of a crowd and makes me think of that feeling of being lonely in a crowd full of people. I think the point the speaker’s making in the chorus is that she doesn’t need deep connections, but she does need validation from “everyone”(which relates to the part where she’s saying the boys and girls are both calling her). But like the rest of the beginning of the song, this is something she’s telling herself, not necessarily something that’s actually reality. It’s like when you repeatedly tell yourself something until you convince yourself it’s the truth. The repetitiveness of that line “I don’t need anyone, I don’t need anyone, I just need everyone and then some” becomes like a desperate mantra (especially with the screaming bits).

Sav Miller

Great connections! I need to go back and listen to "Colors" now!

English Teacher KP

I'm so glad you enjoyed it ❤❤❤

English Teacher KP

I think it's interesting to consider the color symbolism in this song next to Halsey's other song "Colors" in which she says "Everything is blue / his pills, his hands, his jeans / and now I'm covered in the colors / pulled apart at the seams/ and it's blue" then later changes it to "everything is gray / his hair, his smoke, his dreams". Blue and gray are the same two colors they're using in this song, but do they have the same meanings? Is blue the vitality of life and gray what's left when it all fades away? In that way, does blue represent a manic episode and gray represent a depressive episode? Thanks for this analysis, wonderful as always :)))

I loved seeing your reaction to this one! It makes me so excited for you to hear the rest of the album 🥰

a lot of her songs start out as poems! she released a poetry collection the same year she released manic. i think the songs “forever is a long time”, “alanis’ interlude” and “i’m not mad” (which is a bonus track on this album i hope you’ll do those too! xxx) started out as poems maybe some other songs on the album too that i can’t think of off the top of my head but she does that a lot! which i obviously love because her lyrics are so poetic. they get criticised a lot for not having the best voice but they’ve talked a lot about how they’ve always been a writer, not really a singer! singing is just a vehicle for her to get her writing across and i think you can really tell especially on her first album she sometimes writes more like an author than a song writer (in a good way)!

j

I love that the last verse comes from a poem of hers! Very cool! Also, blue doesn't have to represent sadness! It can also represent peace or calm. I personally lean towards the interpretation about perception...her sky is violent rain because it's her perception of reality. Regardless, I think the violent rain bit is my favorite part! You make a good point about the stormy imagery of the words! I can't stop thinking about Clementine's hair colors in Eternal Sunshine..., though!

English Teacher KP

the last verse is from a poem she wrote called stockholm syndrome I that she said she wrote about a black eye she had so you were right with that! the poem version is a little different “I remember / tender spiderwebs. / All violet, / yellow, / blue. / It seems with one eye open, / still all I see is you”. on the album cover she has makeup on that resembles a bruise but it’s glitter she said almost like a badge of honour of what she’s been through type of thing. i absolutely adore this song and the music video it doesn’t seem to be a fan favourite but it’s definitely one of mine lol. cried my eyes out for hours when this song came out just listened to it over and over again. personally i never really considered blue in the first line to represent sadness i think it’s more like she’s saying her sky isn’t blue and sunny and pretty but violent rain (she also has a song called hurricane in which she says “i’m the violence in the pouring rain - i’m a hurricane”). also the sky being blue is kind of a universally accepted truth like when the answer to something is yes and people say “is the sky blue?” but in her world that’s not the case, she sees the world differently, maybe due to her mental illness.

j