A Note for the Grammar Police

I’ve spent most of my life with active epilepsy. I’ve taken a lot of temporal and occipital lobe damage, so I can’t always remember what the pet with the meows is. I’m somewhat face-blind, so I can’t tell the difference between the characters on Peaky Blinders. When I choose movies, I make sure they don’t have too many characters. I can’t remember their names, let alone tell the difference between their faces. I often lose my ability to spell fifth-grade words, and I’ve frequently gotten lost on my way out of the door. I’ve spent a lifetime relying on the kindness of strangers to pick me up off the side of the road or direct me back home.

I’ve tried to pay with a Woolworths card at Mr Price. No supermarket teller has ever mocked me for my confusion. This does not happen online. ‘Round here, if you don’t have an impressive brain and even more impressive language abilities, you will be mocked.

Nobody shames you for needing a wheelchair ramp because that kind of disability is universally understood. Cognitive disabilities are invisible, and they often masquerade as indifference or stupidity. The world sees those traits as worthy of shame, so I must have forgotten because I don't care… I didn't listen… I have a mental block… I'm just plain stupid...

My IQ is as respectable as the next person's, but I reflect a different score on different days. Sometimes I'm intelligent. Sometimes I'm not. There are no wheelchair ramps for cognitive disabilities. Few people understand them, and even fewer are kind about them.

I’m good with words, but as a creative person, I can’t find my way around an equation. I’ve forgotten what a “long division” is and I have to count out numbers on my fingers. If my maths were expressed in words, mine would read, “I rilly dunno how to tell the diference betwein you’re and your, but at leest I can balanse a spoon on my nows.”

Neurodivergence doesn’t always express itself in the form of perfectly-hewn sentences and logic. Some of us are only bright on healthy days. Your neurodivergence doesn’t always play out like my neurodivergence. Your brain makes light work of certain things, and mine can manage entirely different things. Autism is not the only form of brain anomaly on the planet, so please don’t mock me for having different brain woes than you.

Even in the neurotypical world, people have different talents. Some of them can’t spell but have made their way through a thousand equations. So you can grammar. Excellent. So can I, but can you be kind to those who have different abilities than you?

We need to think differently about cognition. We need to be kinder and more patient. We need to remember there are no wheelchair ramps for this, but that we can take someone's metaphorical hand and help them up the stairs.