It's Hard to be Shamelessly Single, but I Am

Yesterday, a character in a series I’m watching said one of the most surprising things I’ve ever heard: “I’m not interested in a relationship.” The clouds fell from the heavens into my lap. The doggo on my couch launched into the sky. I’d never heard it put so boldly. She didn’t say, “I’m not interested in a relationship right now.” She didn’t say, “I’m taking a break.” She didn’t say, “I’m not dating yet.” Just an unapologetic, “I don’t want a relationship.”

With that, I learned that coupledom didn’t have to be a default position, and singleness doesn’t need to be a living apology.

I’m just <twitch> going to add this <tic> list of excuses and justifications quickly: I’ve spent a lifetime in relationships. <twitch> I deserve a break.<jerk> I swear haven’t developed an allergy to sex. <twitch> I don’t even own any cats. <twitch>  

Every time I tell someone I don’t really want a relationship (right now <twitch>) they tell me extended singleness is unhealthy, but there are few signs of health as reliable as being happy in your own company.

I know we’re all meant to contribute to the burgeoning population explosion and start families and everything, but I’m loving my singleness. And I’ve earned it with two decades of serial monogamy. My life is full of intimacy and beautiful platonic relationships. Do I miss the sex? Hells, yes, but that’s all I miss. Well, except the backrubs. I’ve tried to teach my dog proper shiatsu technique, and he just looks at me and then licks his balls.

It’s frankly disturbing, so I won’t try that again.

However, I’m happy. (Right now) I have a rich and beautiful life, so I don’t want to change anything (yet.)

And fuck all the people who’ve made it impossible to say, “I’m not interested in a relationship” without the “right now.” Maybe I’ll stay unattached for another month. Maybe I’ll stretch it out to five more decades, but maybe I don’t have to trot out my future in carefully labelled post-it notes Maybe it’s okay to just enjoy the gorgeousness of the current moment without aiming for change.

Happiness is rare. When you find it, you should stay awhile and take in the scenery, so that’s what I’m going to do. Not right now. Not until something else comes along. I have no plans. Nothing to commit to. Nowhere to go, and nothing to aim towards beyond my career. I’ve managed to collect all the accoutrements of a full and healthy life, and few people ever get that.

I’ve struck gold, so why dig elsewhere?

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(Yet?)