Stop Asking Women to Rescue the Male Gender

My mother taught me to attach my own damned plugs. She showed me how to change a tyre, chop an onion, and read a map. Independence was everything in my childhood home, so if you were stuck, it was up to you to get unstuck.

I don't remember how to change a plug, but I do remember how to choose more actions than complaints. If I see a cause that needs support, I support it. If an NGO exists for it, I volunteer. If an NGO doesn't exist, I do what I can to bring change. I support enterprises that are doing good work, and I use my platform to make a difference. In short, I don't sit in my basement complaining that my buttons fell off my coat. I change the buttons.

If you haven't done anything to bring change, complaining is meaningless because inaction is part of the problem. If you put some effort into your causes, there'd be fewer causes requiring your efforts.

I once volunteered for our community board. When someone in my community wanted something done, I was the first person they asked. They very rarely chose to do the work themselves. Such is the irony of being a volunteer. If you work hard, people will expect you to work harder. It rarely crosses their minds that they, too, can work hard.

Men in my threads often complain that women should do more for the male species. We should launch men's abuse shelters, teach random strangers how to find girlfriends, and assist men as they navigate the minefield that is toxic masculinity. There is a thin layer of blame coating the entire issue.

Yep. Women might be oppressed, but it's up to us to help the least oppressed demographic on the planet. Women might need to put all their emotional energy into navigating rape culture and the wealth gap, but it's up to us to help men to express their feelings. Men are too busy to do that kind of work. They cannot start their own NGOs or support one another's emotional expression. It's up to the less privileged to help the privileged to be more privileged. </s>

Look, I have nothing against mutual support. I spend a lot of time supporting the men in my life in many different ways, but I see this as friendship. When it's turned into a gender issue in which female-kind, as a sex, is asked to do more for mankind, as a sex, I baulk. Men, change your own plugs. If you don't know how, find an NGO to volunteer at. Support one another. Do therapy. Do anything to reduce the problem you're complaining about.

I've written a fair deal on social entrepreneurs all over the world, and I noticed a trend among them. If you do a quick scroll through the founders of the world's top NGOs, you'll see that rape survivors launch rape NGOs. Animal lovers launch stray feeding schemes. Female abuse survivors launch shelters for female abuse survivors. There's a reason for that. We can affect change best if we stay in our lanes. If there are more female shelters, it's because women open more shelters than men do. This is not a travesty of justice. It's a sign of inaction, and yes, you, too, are supposed to be part of the solution.

Stop asking women to be your saviours. Lord knows we have enough work to do already.