The one thing people don’t tell you about growth is that you’ll lose friends in the process.
Added 2024-03-25 07:04:42 +0000 UTCSome people’s boundaries are as porous as spiderwebs. The trouble with webs is that they catch a lot of bugs. There are money-grabbers, takers, narcissists, and creepers. There are consent violators, racists, and every other creepazoid you can catch. If you’re Nice™ to all of them, your home terrain will become a rotten, spidery grave.
The one thing people don’t tell you about growth is that you’ll lose friends in the process.
When you develop healthy self-esteem, you stop using webs as boundaries and erect walls instead. Bricks don’t catch rotting bugs. They don’t resemble spiderwebs at all. You’ve got to knock on the door to get to the other side. You now host people on an invitation-only basis, and that’s inconvenient to a particular kind of human.
Self-esteem and boundaries create an uninhabitable environment for exploitative people, so they will leave. Sometimes they’ll go of their own accord, and sometimes you’ll politely show them the door. Don’t blame the mass exodus on your flaws. When a narcissist leaves, take it as a sign of your own growth. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. It means you're a healthier person.
In time, you’ll attract an entirely different kind of friend: The sort who knocks before they enter. The sort who cares.
