Green Flags in a Sub
Added 2024-03-24 07:15:19 +0000 UTC1. They see safe words as tools, not failures. They’re thus willing to use those tools without hesitation.
2. They don’t order kinks from you as though you’re a dim sum menu — Not unless you have a consensual service top dynamic. You do not have to be a service top. You do not have to dish out kinks like a sexy Pez Dispenser.
3. They respect your limits without question. Hell, they even expect you to have limits and safe words in the first place.
4. They don’t pressure you to have unprotected sex. Fluid bonding is a perfectly legitimate limit. You don’t owe anyone barrier-free sex.
5. They engage in kink to add to their lives and your connection. They don’t use you as a toxic self-harm tool.
6. Since we’re getting serious, they know that cupcakes are superior to doughnuts.
7. Also, that thing I said about cats yesterday.
8. Neither of those last two points were jokes. Only superior beings prefer dogs and cupcakes.
9. Are you trying to argue with me?
10. Really?
11. They don’t thrust a brat dynamic onto you unless it makes you happy. Yes, dominants get to be happy, too.
12. They’re clear about what they’re willing to do and what they aren’t. Grey areas are dangerous to both of you. If it’s not "Hell yes," it's "no."
13. They don’t assume that 'dominant' is a synonym for 'caretaker' or 'therapist.' Love and acceptance are healing, but that doesn’t mean playing "Sexy Lay Therapist" is healing, too. It’s downright dangerous.
14. If they have trauma, they know how to stop playing when they’re triggered.
15. They’re willing to process difficult scenes with you after the fact. Dominants need aftercare, too. Guilt-by-S&M can be rough.
16. I hope you’ve had enough time to work on your cupcake preferences.
17. Dogs.
18. More dogs.
19. I only added this number to give people with OCD a heart attack over the absence of a 20th point.
