I’m new. Was I meant to arrive with thumbtacks in my dick or are these staples okay?
I’m also new and still think kinky people introduce themselves as fairytale characters at parties. I’m Cinderella, by the way. Show me your foot. <waggles eyebrows>
Kinky people should only arrive at parties in leather and studs like in the old days when we had to craft our lederhosen from our own intestines while walking 10 miles barefoot in the snow. If you don’t own lederhosen, are you kinky even?
Yes, BDSM is German.
Is.
Is, is, is!
We’re the colourers. We’re colouring! That’s literally the only reason we’re here.
Poly cult. Mainly just here to look mysterious in purple hair.
Feminist poly cult. Mainly just here to find a dudebro, fuckboi, or incel willing to mop our floors with their tongues. Kindly fill out the application form and 26-page consent document at the door.
Blood chick. Owns one Hannibal Lector mask, five wakizashi, and 67 rusty blades. What’s wrong? Are you scearrred?
Blood dude. Owns three needles, one aftercare teddy bear, and five crayons.
We’re not swingers. Not even a little bit or whatsoever. We just like swapping partners and having anonymous sexual encounters.
I’m the local introvert, and this is my blanket fort. No human may pass through the blanket fort without completing a psychometric test. The test is, however, not currently available for reasons I totally didn’t invent. I dunno what happened to it, man, truly.
I volunteer at a dog shelter all week because my heart is a blossoming flower. I will, however, be partially murdering my sub tonight with fava beans, a nice chianti, and my pet fire ants. Their names are Harry, Sally, and Sarah. If you scare them, I will add you to my fava beans recipe.
I’m still the local introvert and if you look at me one more time, I’ll introduce you to dog shelter chick.
I just bought my first toy. I’m so proud of this toy I could spit. Its name is Frank. Do you want to touch it?
Still the local introvert but am willing to say hi to an inanimate object named Frank.
