It’s cool that you have a Super Secret Strategy for The Sex™, but please find someone who fucks with their body. I fuck with my mind.

Ty was very good at The Sex™. You could tell by the two little lines that appeared between his eyes when he went down on you. He had a purpose. That purpose was to expose you to his Super Secret Strategy for The Sex™. It was trademarked and everything.

Ty said I was bad at The Sex™ because I didn’t like his trademarked strategy. He said I shriveled like a raisin, and I did. I am guilty of raisinhood. I didn’t enjoy his Super Secret Strategy for The Sex, partly because he had no idea how to read my body, but mostly because he thought sex was a physiological pursuit.

It isn’t. Not for me.

My clit is like one of those people who likes everybody. It will come through for you even if you get this sex thing 20% right. If you can find it, it will totally come to the party…

… but only if my brain is also involved. Orgasms aren’t about technique for me. They aren’t even about physiology. They’re about my mind. If you have me in the right brain space, your Super Secret Strategy will be 100% effective, even if it isn’t trademarked. In fact, even your Super Secret Shit Strategy will work just fine. The trouble is few men have ever developed a Super Secret Strategy for Brain Sex. They only know how to make circles with their tongues.

In case you weren’t aware, this is the kink community. Everyone here has a weird brain. Some brains get off on feet. Some brains get off on balloons for some reason. And some brains get off on degradation and pain.

I’m a degradation slut. Want to know how many of my exes really understood that? Just one. Few tops ever develop a Super Secret Strategy for Degradation or Mind Fucks. I can’t complain. This is sophisticated stuff. It requires intellect and a ton of observation. There's one thing this strategy doesn’t need, though: Fancy tongue circles.

Degradation is a pretty rare kink. It’s not easy to find someone who shares your precise fetish flavour, but my ex, E, definitely did. He could make stars settle on my skin without even taking his tongue out of its box. He could literally talk my pleasure into existence. My entire interest in BDSM began with three words from E.

And I mean that literally. Those words changed my sexuality forever. I finally found home. I found myself. I found a man who connected with my brain and accepted all the filthy things that came with it.

For me, sex is 10% physiology and 90% mental yoga. You can’t make me come unless you appeal to my mind.

Ty didn’t care much about my mind. He was there for the biology, and my Fun Factory rabbit deals with that better than he ever could. If I wanted biology, I would haul out a toy, not bother with an authentic human with a penis that can’t vibrate.

It’s cool that you have a Super Secret Strategy for The Sex™, but please find someone who fucks with their body. I fuck with my mind.