So you say Fet is a Sex Site...

Fet is a sex site. If you don't want to see dick, go to Facebook.

The fact that we’re on a kink site is not a reason to heed boundaries less. It’s a reason to be even more careful.

When I first began doing events, I felt paranoid that men might thrust their testosterone in my face the way I was so effortfully resisting thrusting my testosterone in their faces. I don’t even think about that paranoia anymore because I’ve learned my boundaries are generally respected more at play parties than at your average bar. There will always be bad apples, but our event organisers are careful to protect unwilling recipients. Our playrooms are kept away from social areas so that nobody is exposed to scenes unwillingly.

We have a few types of parties, and the more sexual they become, the more careful the organisers are about consent. I can go to an event with kinksters and swingers fucking in public without stumbling on anything sexual all night. Rooms are carefully designated to different levels of play, and they’re explained to us before the event even happens so that everyone's boundaries are left firmly intact.

We might want to shove our genitals in some people’s faces ‘round here, but we like to make sure those faces are willing. Since we spend so much time in a sex-immersed eco-system, most of us work hard to make sure those who aren’t into it aren’t exposed to it.

Treading on boundaries is an excellent way to cock block yourself, by the way. The safer I feel, the more likely I am to put myself in sexually charged situations. I’m weird that way: I kind of need to feel I won’t be raped in order to let loose.

Many people separate sex and kink. Some of us can’t, and these differences apply offline and on. Some aren’t here for sex. That’s why this is a kink network, not a ‘sex site’. Not all kink is sexual. There’s a hell of a lot of sex around, though, which is precisely why we’re so careful about establishing people’s sexual boundaries before we storm into their worlds with our hormones raging. This doesn’t prevent people from finding sex partners. It makes it easier because it creates a sense of safety and obligates you to treat people like people.