SpanishRed

Open Letter to a Kinky Master

Added 2023-11-03 03:36:59 +0000 UTC

Dear MasterFrankenCock

Thank you for your message. I’m thrilled you came across my profile because the idea of being stripped and flogged by a 19-year-old master I’ve never met who lives on the opposite side of the planet has left me believing in the magic and wonder of this life. Obviously, I have sex with all the strangers who write to me here on Fetlife, so I will make myself available for the aforementioned flogging immediately.

Before you sent that PM about my “hawt syde bewb” I got one from another stranger who said he wanted to fuck me in my new librarian glasses. I’m sure you can imagine how excited I was about that. If you’re not willing to have anonymous encounters with anyone and everyone who writes you a one-line email, what are you doing on a sex site? That’s what I always say. Anyway, before that, I also got this message from someone who lives in the UK:

Hiiiiieiiii!!! Wanna fuck?

It’s hard work being a woman on Fetlife because where does one find the time to shag so many strangers a day? Frankly, I’m exhausted, but I wouldn’t dream of taking a break because I know how angry you all get when you hear “no”.

Which is why I never say “no” anymore—it’s clearly upsetting to you and womankind owes you better. It takes so much time to send copy-paste messages to 50 women, so who are we to reject you?

Please find my banking details below for your deposit for my plane ticket to the U.S. I have to say, it’s mighty generous of you to think me worthy of such an expensive sexcapade, but with so many of you waiting to fuck me, maybe you can split the travel costs between you. I believe my savvy budget plan should be as attractive as the idea of being the 137th man to shag me next month.

Incidentally, I had to quit my job because it takes me quite a lot of time to reply to all the sexy messages I get from people like you. I’ve thus created a separate payment plan for you all to replace my income, equally shared out between you, of course.

P.S. What’s a “chlamydia”?