Lights! Action! Taylor?

a bit delayed on the next chapter of Wrath of God (have it up tomorrow, likely), so enjoy this:

***

I sent my bugs swarming down to get Lung. I didn't know what children he was going to kill but--

Wait a minute, why was he shouting something about this not being in the script? What the hell--

And then a hole in space opened next to me and a woman in a Fedora hit me with some kind of tinkertech gun, and everything went dark.
****

I woke up in a white room. There were no bugs around me. The woman was sitting at the end of the bed. "Are you okay, Taylor?" she asked.

"Do you work for Lung?"

"No. I work with him. Sorry for the action, but I had other issues to deal with."

"Where am I?"

"On another world. Taylor, now this is going to be hard, but I want to ask you. Have you ever known someone who watched...oh say, science fiction series and got invested?"

A memory rose and even through the pain of loss, I smiled. "Mom spent five minutes screaming at the TV after the remake of Star Trek's last episode showed that the entire universe was just a tinkertech simulation in a computer and none of it had ever existed."

"Right, now... I want you to replace Star Trek with Earth Bet, and instead of your mom screaming at a TV, an alien being blowing up the Earth and most alternates if he gets bored."

"What?"

"You know him as Scion. Evidently, compared to his ah, wife, he's a bit of a couch potato."

"Wait, Scion is--"

"Which means that Earth Bet has to be interesting, but not too interesting and ready to change things on a dime... Never-ending plot twists, larger than life characters, we don't have muggers, we have people who hold the city hostage..."

"Wait a minute." My brain finally caught up with what she was saying. "You're talking about a soap opera!"

"Yes. and the Bay is one of our larger... well stages. A dark city, decaying and falling with superhuman schemes and an outnumbered PRT that can never get aid..."

"The Endbringers?"

"Divas. Complete Divas. They demand it's always about them."

"And the people who die?"

"Less than you think, but yes, people die. But... compared to everyone in the known universe dying..."

"But what if..." My brain was accepting this way too easily which could mean a concussion or just... okay, i had nothing. "What if Scion gets bored. What if the story ends?"

"You've never watched Soap Operas, have you? The story never ends." She paused. "But don't worry, we've written you in as the new villain in the bay who plays both sides against each other and enjoys using her deadly swarm to terrorize your enemies. We even have a love triangle in it."

"What?"

"Don't worry, we'll start you off slow. Before you come back you will have some tutoring with the Slaughterhouse Nine."

"The SLAUGHTERHOUSE?" I definitely did not squeak.

"Why not? Jack Slash is a Juilliard graduate." She paused. "But I prefer Mannequin and the Siberian's Mime act."

I stared. Then I let my head hit the pillow. Lung had killed me, and I was just waiting to finally shut down. Soon this would end.

I had no such luck.

*****

Eight Months Later.

"Taylor, I'm sorry..." Lisa said. "I betrayed you to Armsmaster because... Grue and I are seeing each other behind your back, but I want him all for myself!"

God-dammit. The scriptwriters just had to be in their love triangle phase. I had begged to just be written out to the Birdcage for this season, but no, evidently Thinker's said my disaster of a life was really testing high with Scion... and the other Alternates we were marketing the series to, which explained how oddly well funded Earth Bet was.

But God, Mom was a Literature professor.

Mom, please, wherever you are, don't look down at this. "Hah! I knew it. You thought you were secret, but now, taste the wrath of my insect horde!"

God, I hated my life.