Preview/prologue for potential next novel

 Literally thought of this story this morning. Not gonna lie, the idea seemed completely inane, yet at the same time hilarious enough to at least try. Not sure if this has any real potential longevity. It might be too memey and self-aware, but.. Here goes nothing. Enjoy! 

 I Reincarnated as a Webnovel

Truck-kun is a cruel god.

I had a decent life… I think. It was an average one, at least. I went to school, got bullied, had the first crush and the first heart-break. I’d say I performed about as well as could be expected of a young teenager, who didn’t understand what it’s all for and what to do with his life. How could I know? It’s not like they actually prepare you for adult life. What you want, what you need to know, what you see yourself becoming in five or ten years. Nope, none of that. Here’s some math, some English, some music, and off you go into the big world. Who cares if you’re still terrified of speaking in front of more than two people?

Still, I somehow pulled through. Despite wasting thousands of hours playing video games and watching anime, I ended up going to college. Eventually, I got a job, made some friends, found a girlfriend… It’s alright if that last part is no longer relatable—you’ll get one too eventually… That is if you somehow find the strength and courage to humiliate yourself countless times right in front of a cute girl that you like, out of ignorance and inexperience. Be embarrassed to the point that the next day, when you think back to your catastrophically gone-wrong encounter, you want to stick your head in the door frame and slam that door against your stupid, stupid, stupid head… Where was I? Oh, right.

All I wanted to do was to cross the street to get to my average job. That’s when it happened. That’s when truck-kun decided that it was time for my life to end. Was he putting me out of my misery? I don’t think I was that miserable. And it’s not like I tried to save anyone or something stupid like that! I was just minding my own business. I didn’t run a red light. I wasn’t busy looking at my phone playing one of those mobile MMORPGs. I mean, why would I? Half of them play themselves, the other half require at least of 3+ hours of my life per day, spread out across the entire day for daily events, farming, discount, and other garbage logins—

Dear God, am I starting off on a downer… But why not? I just died, my guts are smeared across the asphalt, and it’s completely not my fault! I think I’m allowed to sulk for a moment, am I not? At least it was over before it even began, so there was hardly any pain. In fact, right now, I don’t feel anything at all. Don’t tell me… I’m going to open my eyes and end up in a green field. I’ll face off against a starter monster like a goblin or a slime and discover that I have some special ability and potential that lets me bullshit my way through opponents, collect a harem of cute quirky girls, and live out my life in my own wish-fulfillment fantasy? Please, please, please, let it be so!!

It isn’t. Of course, it isn’t. But then… Where the hell am I? What am I? I open my eyes to look around… Wait, do I have eyes? I’m not blinking. I try to close them. Strange. It's like trying to shut off my senses. I open my “eyes” back up. I’m not seeing. I’m perceiving. Sensing. Feeling. I don’t have eyes. I don’t have arms. I don’t even have a body. Not in human terms anyway. Though I am something… Some kind of object—No! An entity. I try to analyze myself. Wait. What is this? Words? No… This is what I—Can’t be! My thoughts? Thank God I didn’t vividly describe all those freaky masturbating sess—OH GOD, NONONO! FLOWERS, GRANDMAS, PANCAKES!! ... Phew, that was close…

What the hell is going on!? I ‘look’ around. It’s a strange place, yet not unfamiliar. More like, I’m perceiving it from a different perspective. “It’s all a matter of perspective” as they say? Hm, there’s a search function… Hold the phone! “Monarch’s Pooch”? “Reborn Blood-sucker Desires To Appreciate Existence”? “Cosmos Deposit”? Don’t tell me… I’m inside the Scrawl Nerve Center? But that means… I read myself again… I reincarnated as a webnovel!?