My Pokémon Life as an Eldritch Abomination

There’s nothing quite like waking up one day only to fall into a hole in the floor. It wasn’t even a hole that led to somewhere sensible like the room below me, nah, it sent me zooming through space like an interstellar missile instead. All very cool.

What happened after is fuzzy. I crashed? Something like that. Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you how long I was doing an impromptu reenactment of 2001: A Space Odyssey for.

I eventually found myself inside a cage. A very sleek and shiny sci-fi cage, sure, but still a cage, and one surrounded by people in white.

I guess I couldn’t blame the government for trying to figure out what the fuck happened to me. I’d very much like to know myself.

Except that all went out the window when I noticed a Pokémon. A Ditto, to be exact.

Then another. A Hypno. Talk about a mindfuck.

It didn’t take long after that revelation to figure out who was keeping me in a cage. The Aether Foundation. Lusamine’s outrageous hair kind of stuck out like a sore thumb, and right now she was looking at me like the world’s most interesting insect.

“Hey, I get that you’re probably trying to figure out how I got here, but a cage? Really?”

There were gasps like I just said I was going to eat them or something, while Lusamine just smiled sharply. “Oh? Talking Pokémon are not unheard of, but this one managed to figure it out in record time.”

What? “I’m not a Pokémon.”

One of her very blonde eyebrows arched. “Also understands deception. Faba, Wicke, you’ll have a week to give me a report.”

The guy with his garish neon green sunglasses gave me a deeply unpleasant smile.

Were they seriously about to keep me in here? “Hey! I’m not lying! There was a fucking hole, and one bad acid trip later, boom, here I am!”

“An exemplary imagination as well,” I heard Lisamine mutter under her breath as she left, the click-clack of her heels following after her. “Could I finally be close after all this time?”

My continued protests went similarly ignored, and then the tests began.

Some of them weren’t so bad. Others were… less fun. Not at all fun, actually.

Sick of it all, I tried smashing through the glass one day for all the good it did me. It only pissed me off more, until something really fucking strange happened. My arms twisted and warped until they turned as black as the hole I fell in, and the next time I punched the glass it was like a truck hit it, spider cracks winding up and down the length of it.

I smiled as all the fucks in their lab coats panicked, beating on the glass again and again. I had just about broken through when a thick gas of some kind poured out of the vents. It… smelled like… strawberries?

The next time I woke up, they’d put me in a different cage, one I couldn’t even put a dent in. It all left me in a shit mood. At least the tests had stopped as well. Too dangerous now. Ha.

I looked down at my hand, the blackness returning as I flexed it. Were they right? Was I a fucking Pokémon thinking I’m me? Or was I turned into one? I didn’t have an answer.

Late at night, I heard the sound of heels approaching my prison. “Doppelgänger,” someone whispered. I knew that voice, and it wasn’t Lusamine. “Are you awake?”

“Wicke?”

“Yes.” She soon walked into view in all her voluptuous glory. Also the purple hair almost as outrageous as her boss’s.

I remembered having the hots for her, once upon a time. It’s a miracle her pink sweater could even contain those bad boys. The dorky and oversized glasses even gave her a cutesy energy.

“What do you want?” Yeah, after my past few weeks here being poked and prodded at and ignored, I wasn’t exactly a happy camper. “I thought you bunch stopped your tests.”

“We did.” There was something in her hands. “I brought you a treat.”

She soon slid what looked like three slices of chocolate cake through the screen. The food they’d been giving me wasn't bad, per se, but they sure as shit haven’t been giving me cake.

I quickly shoved one in my mouth, and mmm, it was bliss, just the right amount of sweet and bitter.

“Could you tell me more about this world you come from, Doppelgänger?”

“I have a name, you know.”

“Sorry, sorry!” she quickly replied. “What is your name?”

I told her with a lazy smile as I choked down more of the cake, but she just stared back at me blankly.

“Maybe we can give you a nickname instead?”

Eh? “What for? It’s not anything special.”

She looked at me doubtfully. “Be that as it may… maybe Dop would work? Or you can choose. Just so long as it’s something I can actually pronounce,” she finished with a nervous chuckle.

I was kind of looking at her funny now. Whatever. “Dop is fine.”

“Wonderful. Now, back to my earlier question?”

I shrugged, taking another bite of cake. “Where I’m from’s not all that different…”

That doubtful look returned as I continued, but I had no idea why. I was more worried she’d be bored to tears.

“I see…”

“You don’t sound like you do,” I teased.

She adjusted her wacky glasses. “We have already confirmed you aren’t human.”

“Yeah, I could tell,” I muttered. “It’s still what I remember.”

“I don’t think you’re lying, Dop. There’s so many mysteries we haven’t been able to explain. You’re among good company.”

I scratched at my cheek. “Right.”

She graced me with another smile. “I’ll return tomorrow night with some more cake. You can tell me more about this world you remember living in and I can tell you something about ours.”

“Sure.” Even if I already had a good idea.

Her visits were all I had to really look forward to as the days crawled by, until one night we were interrupted.

“I thought I would find you here,” Lusamine husked as she came onto the scene. She towered over a nervous Wicke.

“President Lusamine,” she almost squeaked. “I was… gathering information.”

“And yet we are still no closer to finding an entrance to Ultra Space.”

“He has maintained that he doesn’t know how he arrived here, let alone how to go back.”

Lusamine snorted. “It has lied since it first started speaking. Only shows that we still have so much to learn about the Ultra Beasts…”

“Lady, your husband is still alive and well. He only lost his memories.”

Her bright green eyes swiveled on me angrily, but then she breathed. “Clever, isn’t it? Did you tell it that, Assistant Branch Chief?”

“N-No. I have left the Aether Foundation out of our... talks.”

“Then it has somehow figured it out anyway. Some kind of psychic ability as well as its transformative properties? Fascinating…”

I was about to tell her to go check for herself when I happened upon a teeny tiny problem with that idea. That being that I didn’t fucking remember where he was. At all.

“If it can tell a lie, maybe it can also tell the truth.” I heard a knock on the glass like I was an animal in a zoo. “If you point us in the right direction, you have my word that I will let you go.”

Even if I believed her, which I would like to go on record that I emphatically did not, I didn’t exactly have one on hand. So I just glumly kept quiet and poked at my last slice of cake.

Vanilla this time, with a hint of banana.

“Stubborn as always.” I heard a thoughtful hum. “You remember my recent musings, Assistant Branch Chief? Yes, I think now would be a good time.”

“M-Me?” Wicke squeaked. “I thought we were looking into a volunteer…”

“That was before I discovered that you’ve developed something of a rapport with UB-06 Doppelgänger. You may proceed.”

“It would go against all of our protocols. The risks…”

“I can have them amended within the hour if it would soothe your conscience.” She was really rocking the crazy eyes now. My terrible, horrible taste in women was coming back to haunt me, because I found it hot as fuck.

Wicke meanwhile was nervously tugging on her fingers as she glanced between her boss and me.

What was even going on? “Can one of you clue me in?”

Lusamine tsked, ignoring me. “You show it such sympathy, and yet…” Her eyes reminded me of a cat’s as she turned them back on me, with me as the mouse. “I suppose there’s no helping it.”

I watched with some confusion as she unlocked the entrance and strode inside, her long, slender legs and heels making it look like she was gliding across the floor.

“You are clever enough to understand where you’ll be going if you misbehave.”

She was talking to me like I was a particularly clever beetle.

“None of your fellow Ultra Beasts have shown any inclination for reproduction,” she continued, “and yet you UB-06 Doppelgänger have consistently produced reactions in line with hormonal urges. Is it simple mimicry or something deeper?”

What in the actual fuck was she on about? “If you’re asking if I think you’re smoking hot… yeah, sure. Though you could stand to be a—”

“You’re quite the charmer, Doppelgänger. But you have refused to provide us with a sample.” I must have looked like half a goldfish as her perfectly manicured hands found the hem of my slacks. “You can only blame yourself.”

Her nimble fingers worked very… efficiently, and it wasn’t long until she bared me to the air-conditioned air. Wicke meanwhile had looked away with a put-upon sigh, as if this wasn’t the first time this happened.

I turned back to Lusamine. I knew she had a few screws loose already, but what the fuck was she expecting throwing a container in and telling me to get to work? I wasn’t going to jerk off in a cage with… fuck, she really had a handle on the situation.

“My, my. Nothing out of place. Even the veins appear anatomically sound.”

Spitefully, I flexed that new part of me I was slowly becoming more familiar with, the thing in her hand suddenly looking like the night sky. It escaped her as it turned monstrous, leaving it hanging halfway to my knees now.

“An ego like a man’s as well,” she murmured. “Such exceptional mimicry…”

It didn’t even give her any pause as she simply took hold of it with both hands, a determined cast to her eyes. I could only groan as she got to work.

“Have you never heard of Occam’s Razor?” I bit out.

She ignored me again. “Prepare a container, Assistant Branch Chief. As you can see my hands are tied.”

The once bubbly woman was now subdued as she approached.

“And bare your ridiculous breasts. They could put a Miltank to shame, so hardly a wonder that UB-06 Doppelgänger has grown so fond of them.”

Cheeks red as anything, her white cape fell to the ground as she unclasped it, and soon she was giving her pink sweater a good tug as well, her tits popping out like the best kind of jump scare.

They were something else.

Lusamine’s hands still worked me expertly, and I was quickly losing my cool. “The Assistant Branch Chief is shy, but when she puts her mind to something…”

Wicke met my eyes as she hefted them for me. Seriously, who put me in a cage with these two succubi? I needed an adult.

There were blue veins criss-crossing the breadth of them, I noticed, a nice contrast to how pale and creamy they were. It was too much, my head feeling light.

Pushing Lusamine away, I was upon Wicke in a moment. I needed to feel them, my fingers twitching. And when I reached her, I sunk my fingers into them like they were the softest pillows.

Then I smothered my face into them, giving a blissful sigh. I wasn’t into doing my business in front of a bunch of voyeurs, but I hardly cared now.

“Such strong reproductive instincts,” her boss mused behind me. “Like a moth to a flame.”

I turned around, taking her in. Yeah, I knew just how to shut her up.

Two more arms pushed out from either side of me, and I enacted some petty revenge pushing her to her knees and playing with her ridiculous hair at the same time. Faced with the monster between my legs, she wrinkled her dainty nose.

I took advantage of her pouty lips parting to say something, groaning as I breached her velvet hot mouth. “Cahrful,” she slurred. “Yuh’ll dihslocate… jaw…”

I was probably running on two brain cells at this point, so that was asking a lot. Also, she was still talking, so…

“UGHK—” I’d smashed right past her gag reflex, her very green eyes immediately watering, and it wasn’t long until her mascara began to run down her cheeks. Her outrageous hair also made for perfect handlebars as I stubbornly lodged each and every inch of it down her throat.

I had a lot of frustrations to work off.

Wicke’s bountiful bosom soon smushed into my back as she hugged me from behind, humming into my ear as I treated her boss’s haughty face like my own personal onahole, her slender throat stretching obscenely to accommodate.

I was fucking close now, slamming into the soft and cloying slickness again and again and again. Fuck her sample. She could throw it back up if she wanted it so bad.

I was starting to see stars when Wicke had suddenly given me a surprisingly strong tug from behind, the mass of manmeat in Lusamine’s mouth plopping out messily.

The first hunk of splooge nailed Lusamine’s nose, but the rest found its way into a glass beaker as the scientist turned cowgirl behind me proved an excellent wrangler. It wasn’t at all white like I expected either, but a deep, deep black.

The smudge of black across her nose though contrasted as nicely with her pale skin as her bright yellow lipstick contrasted with the thing hanging between my legs. And then the post-nut clarity hit me.

I just got milked like an animal. It was as hot as it was fucked up.

Lusamine took the full-to-the-brim beaker into her own hands, standing and holding it up to the light with a very mad scientist smile. That she still had drool running down her chin and neck didn’t bother her at all.

“You were very cooperative, HB-06 Doppelgänger.” That’s all she said as she walked away, heels click-clacking against the polished floors.

Wicke sighed as she separated from me, avoiding my eyes. “I’m so sorry. Trust… Trust that it’s for a good cause.”

I surprised her with a kiss instead, all of my arms manhandling her. Her hefty rear was just as soft. “Whatever she or anyone else says, I’m a man.”

The intensity in my voice had her cheeks reddening again, and she soon ran out of my gilded cage, only just remembering to seal it again. At least if I hadn’t already gummed up the gears while she was distracted by my Casanova-like kiss! Ha!

That was the good thing about post-nut clarity.

I let the clock tick and tock, waiting until it was well past midnight. Only then did I make my move.

Slinking through the complex looking like a hole in reality, I yoinked some Poké Balls and a Pokédex. One of them even held the mightiest of Pokémon, a… well, a Ditto. Yeah, okay, maybe not the most glamorous, but beggars can’t be choosers. There was no way I was getting my hands on an Ultra Beast. At least not now.

I didn’t stop as I hit the water surrounding the artificial island, my body simply shifting accordingly.

I was swearing off cages for good.