Headlines for You to Pose and Make All Your Friends Jealous

Hello everyone, sorry for the delay in headlines. We just got off of our book tour and everything was thrown out of whack. Speaking of the book, have you picked up your copy? Go check it out at your local bookstore, we know you will love it.

Anyway, here are the headlines available for posing. The Hard Times headlines are at the top. If you see something you like email Bill to claim the headline bill@thehardtimes.net. Scroll down and you will find Hard Drive and if you see something there that suits you well email Jeremy to snag the headline jeremy@thehardtimes.net. Thanks everyone.

The Hard Times headlines email bill@thehardtimes.net to claim:

Papa Roach Fan Still Alive Weeks After Head Severed

Ambitious punk already done with holiday shoplifting 

Fatso Leaves Shirt on While Drumming

Wasted Friend Offers Play by Play of Ass Kicking He Would Have Given Dude Who Cut You in Line if He Tried Pulling That Shit on Him

Pop Punk Bass Player Wearing Godflesh Shirt Clearly Wishes He Was In A Different Band 

Emo Album That Got Man Through Depressive Period Actually Made It Much Worse 

PC Punk Stoked To Find Out That He and Bandmate Are “Inuit Inupiaq Brothers” 

Lonely Guy Starts Group Chat With Cell Phone Bill Reminders, Bernie Campaign Texts 

Local Man Takes Up MMA to Defend Himself in Fight He’ll Probably Instigate 

33-Year-Old Bummed After Remembering He's 37 

Amateur GG Allin Impersonator Can't Go With Everyone Watching Him

Favorite Band Playing Favorite Song Still Loses Woman's Applause to Holding a Warm PBR 

Christian Rock Groupie Waiting Until Marriage to go Backstage 

Plan to Tell Boss to Fuck Off Tweaked to Thank You For the Opportunity 

Mom Shares Adorable Anecdote about Single Most Damaging Experience from Daughter's Childhood 

Lying frontman can clearly hear the motherfuckers in the back 

Punk Who Signed Up to Run Marathon Shits Self at Starting Line 

Punk Realtor Excited to Show Off Home’s Unfinished Basement 

Lying Awake Contemplating Mortality Only Consistent Part of Bedtime Routine 

REPORT: Half of All iPhone Storage Dedicated to Screenshots Sent to Friends to Talk Shit 

Hardcore Frontman Wants to Open Up this Relationship

Polyamorous Lifestyle Keeping Woman Open To Variety Of Disappointing Sexual Experiences 

Local Skater Manages to Fit Four Puns in Roller Derby Name

Serial Killer Stoked to Find 20 Teeth Left in Jeans Pocket 

Kid Brother of Guitarist Guesses He Has to Learn Bass Now

Aging Frontman Keeping Shirt On Later and Later Into Set

OG Office Punk Who’s Always Had Q4 Presenters Back Through It All Moves Up to Front In Conference Room B 

Local Folk Punk Band Accidentally Books Paid Gig

Big-Time Idiot Has Whole Plan to Turn Life Around, Chase Dreams

Selfless Woman Instagrams Donation of Hulu Password to Less Fortunate Friend

Friend Will Be Live on College Radio Station From 1am to 4am If You Want to Tune In

Man Asks Record Store Employee If They Validate Opinions

Horrible Roommate Excited to Be One with Grievance for Once

Man In Audience Upset To Learn Mighty Mighty Bosstones Have Written New Songs Since 1997

Friend Back with Band You Spent Months Shit-Talking After Breakup

Punk Sommelier Recommends Pre-2015 Franzia

Only Black Kid in Class Pulling Overtime as Only Black Kid at Show

Boyfriend Doesn't Really Want Anything for Birthday Besides Elaborate Sex Act You Hate Doing 

Punk Hoping Dad's Trump Support is Just a Phase

No One on DIY Tour Can Change Tire

Man Reading Alone at Bar Prefers to Drink Alone at Library

Exhibitionist Punk Removes Tape From Webcam

Hard Drive headlines email jeremy@thehardtimes.net to claim:

Olympic Committee to Include 200m Naruto Run at 2020 Games 

Elite Gaming Keyboard Used to Book Funeral Arrangements 

Real Life Also Harder on Veteran Mode 

Twitch Sub Cancelled After Mention of Boyfriend

Couple Making Out at Barcade Rudely Blocking Ms. Pac-Man Cabinet 

Street Sign Trampled by DDR Fan

Welcome to New York City! If You’re Looking for Work, I Heard Paul at Lucy’s Tavern Is Looking to Hire Someone for an Errand. Rumors? Something Fishy Has Been Happening Outside the Statue of Liberty Lately. Strange Noises. You Won't Catch Me Anywhere Near It. And Stay Out of the Sewers. That’s Where the Thieves Live

Elderly Man Kindly Rewinds YouTube Video to the Start So Next Viewer Doesn't Have To 

Worried College Student Calls University Health Services After Roommate Returns With Multiple JRPGs

Spy Can’t Stop Playing With Cyanide Pill Tooth

Online Relationship Has No Plans for Physical Release

The 5 Best Gaming Headsets For Just Listening to a Nice Audio Book Once In a While

5th Friend Who ‘Doesn’t Mind Watching Everyone Else Play’ Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

Gaming Addiction Study Participant Pretty Sure He Got Placebo [pic of gamer playing a blank screen]

Freddy Krueger Getting Real Freaked Out By Evangelion Fan's Dreams

Gamer Stealths Past Another Major Life Milestone

Sagging Interest in ‘Law and Order: SVU’ Renewed for Local Gamer After Ice-T Mentions Fortnite Offhand

Gamer Spices Up Resume With 'Spends Hours Daily Solving Puzzles, Cooperating With Teammates, and Clearing Objectives'

Stoner Immediately Forgets Spoiler

So-Called Pianist Doesn’t Even Know Any Castlevania Songs

Con Attendee Regretting Death Stranding Cosplay [with a pic of a guy carrying 12 suitcases] 

Proud Raspberry Pi Owner Has Played 5 Minutes of Every Video Game

Vacationing Gamer Impressed With How True Florence is to Assassin’s Creed II 

Friends Tearfully Loot Gamer’s Corpse at Funeral to Pay Respects 

Deadpool ‘I've Got Issues’ Shirt Already Raising Mental Health Awareness

Gamer Doctor Saves Life Twice Just In Case

Choosing My Own Adventure: I Only Used Gmail Smart Replies for a Week and Lost My Job

35-Year-Old Man Still Sees Pediatrician With N64 in Waiting Room

Disappointment After Dad Officially Announces Mom 2

Parents Blame Poorly-Made Video Games For Son’s Boring, Glitchy Outbursts