New Headlines to Feast Upon

Hello everyone, 

     If you take a gander down below you will see all the headlines open for posing. If you see a Hard Drive headline you want to pose email jeremy@thehardtimes.net. For a Hard Times headline email bill@thehardtimes.net. These are all first come first serve, so if you see something you like email right away and we can talk over more details. Thank you for the continued support. 

Hard Drive headlines email Jeremy@thehardtimes.net

Olympic Committee to Include 200m Naruto Run at 2020 Games 

DESCRIPTION: Full body image of someone doing Naruto run in front of a blank background. Preferably in running gear.

Sunken-Eyed Community Manager in Dead End Job Totally Hears What You’re Saying, Will Pass It on to Developers 

DESCRIPTION: Tired person at computer

36-Year-Old Gamer Practicing Every Day For Casual Smash Bros Match With Nephew at Family Get Together 

DESCRIPTION: Adult and young kid playing smash bros

Rogue Valve Developer Works on Game 

DESCRIPTION: Programmer coding

Opinion: This Isn't Actually a Spoiler 

DESCRIPTION: Annoying person in conversation

Elite Gaming Keyboard Used to Book Funeral Arrangements 

DESCRIPTION: Person using mechanical keyboard

Real Life Also Harder on Veteran Mode 

DESCRIPTION: Depressed army veteran

Father Surprises Son at School After Playing 'Call of Duty' for 12 Months Straight 

DESCRIPTION: Man hugging son while holding xbox/playstation controller

40-Year-Old Asthmatic IT Analyst Explains Exactly How He Would Take Down Active Shooter In the Office 

DESCRIPTION: Man who looks like they're in their 40s (roughly) in an office.

Natural 20 Wasted On Rogue’s Attempt To Do A Cool Flip 

DESCRIPTION: People/person playing D&D

Man Equips Lvl 4 Gear for Lvl 30 Date

DESCRIPTION: Guy dressed down on his way to a date 

Gamer Who Skipped First Cutscene Pissed He Can’t Follow Story

DESCRIPTION: Someone playing video game upset

Therapist Says Streamer Needs to Subscribe to Himself

DESCRIPTION: Someone talking to therapist

Meet Gary, The First Ever Person to Pay For Photoshop

DESCRIPTION: Guy using PhotoShop

Gamer Parent Calls Every Piece of Son’s Sport Equipment a Nike  

DESCRIPTION: Adult mid-argument holding a piece of sporting equipment (football, soccer ball, etc). Kid in the photo would be extra cool.

Report: 20-Member Group Chat Much Worse in Person

DESCRIPTION: A group of 20 people looking bored.

Dave & Busters Now Provides a Small Child to Stare Silently While You Play Shooters

DESCRIPTION: Someone playing a shooter at Dave and Busters while a child stares at them.

GameStop Employee Worried Middle Aged Woman Is Buying M-Rated Game for Tiny Child Next to Her

DESCRIPTION: Woman buying game at GameStop.

Finally: Nintendo Goes Door to Door to Patch Wavedashing Out of Melee

DESCRIPTION: Person outside a door holding a gamecube or copy of Melee

Twitch Sub Cancelled After Mention of Boyfriend

DESCRIPTION: Webcam image of woman playing a video game

Couple Can’t Wait to Have Kids So They Have Someone New They Can Force to Play Ocarina of Time 

DESCRIPTION: A couple 

The Hard Times headlines email bill@thehardtimes.net

Tour Plans Shattered After Entire Band Stuck In Summer School 

Entire Class Stares at Punk After Word Problem Asks About Dividing Up 430 Drink Tickets 

Folk Punk Band Pulls Fan On Stage Who Can Play a Milk Crate or Whatever 

Neighborhood Kids Scatter After Baseball Accidentally Smashes Old Man Danzig’s Window 

Punk’s Attempted Career as Life Coach Leaves Four Dead 

First Date Red Flags Disregarded Because of Mutual Favorite Band, Desperation 

Guy Accepted Into DIY Scene After Painting Thumbnail Black 

Aging Punk Unsure of Who to Root For in “Skaters vs. Haters” Video Because Technically That Is Private Property — Anthony Kelly 

Guitarist In Skate Punk Band Insists He Nailed That Song Yesterday 

Millennial Mobster Sends Threatening Venmo Request With Fish Emoji 

Headliner Really Just Playing Last 

Hipster Teen Listened to Parents Fight Years Before They Got Divorced 

Town’s Only Punk Just Realized Most People Consider Him Town’s Only Hippie

Guy Who Bought Vinyl Before Show Moshing Carefully 

Supervisor Has Heard of Female Employee’s Harassment Complaints, But Never Really Listened to Them 

Friend Will Be Live on College Radio Station From 1am to 4am If You Want to Tune In

Band Adopts Puppy in Last Ditch Effort to Avoid Break Up 

Depression and Anxiety Announce Co-Headlining Secret Show in Man’s Head

Man Struggling to Create Username Can’t Believe Other People Have Been This Clever

Band Apologizes for Long Silence on Social Media that Nobody Noticed 

Google Search Fails to Determine If Band Racist or Not 

Accidentally Unrecorded Podcast Just Useless Heartfelt Conversation 

Phantom of the Venue Terrorizes Concertgoers After Being Rejected By Female Bartender 

'Big Things On The Horizon' Posts Friend About To Ask Everyone For Money 

Dude at Guitar Center Going to Keep Playing Pavement Song Until Someone Recognizes It 

Punk Band Cannot Refuse Any Favors Asked Of Them On This, The Day Of Their Album Release Party 

Lonely Man Caressed for the First Time In Years 

Man Without Dental Insurance Running Out of Good Sides to Chew On 

Man Blurts Out "I Can't Make It" Before Friend Says When His Band is Playing 

Man That Admitted to Kinda Liking One Nickelback Song 15 Years Ago Still Nicknamed "Nickelback”

Crowd that Accidentally Cheered for Guitar Tech Too Embarrassed to React for Rest of Show

Sunburnt Concertgoer Sheds First Skin of Festival Season 

Frontman Takes Bold Stance Against Everything He Will Be Accused Of Next Month 

Promising Mosher Out 3-6 Weeks With Torn Vans Sole 

Roommate Tweeting Elliott Smith Lyrics Probably Gonna Turn Into a Whole Big Thing

Man Just Doing Everything On Acid Until VICE Decides to Pay Him For It 

Dead Kid Would’ve Hated Winner of His Memorial Scholarship 

Drummer of Band Going On Acoustic Tour Guesses He’ll Just Go Fuck Himself 

Friendless Guitarist Asks Sweetwater Rep To Be Best Man 

Guy Resists Urge to Relax and Study at Lo-Fi Chillhop Concert 

Man wondering why you only watched parts 1-23 of his 74 part Insta story 

Pop Punk Vocalist Scours Teen Girlfriend's Diary For Lyric Ideas 

Local Scene Emerges Around Teen with Biggest Basement, Worst Parents 

Worst Political Facebook Rant In History Leaves 10 Unfriended, 37 Unfollowed 

Drive To Baltimore Just Long Enough to Enable Wrong Friend Getting Turn With AUX Cord 

Coward Musician Puts Title Track First 

Martial Artist Goes to Show Searching for Crowdkiller Who Murdered His Master 

Hardcore Band Called Out for Not Wiping Down Equipment After Set

Man Substitutes Sleeping Pills With Paragraph of Friends “No Holds Barred” Political Zine 

Dad Breaks 1,024 Day-Long Social Media Silence by Posting “Outback Steakhouse Near Me” to Facebook

Lighter Doubling As Bottle Opener Also Tripling As Man’s Only Party Trick 

Girl Wearing NASA T-Shirt Has Never Even Been To Space 

Punk Has Heard of Father But Never Seen Him Live

Helicopter Mom Really Enjoying Tour So Far

New California Law Bans "High Capacity" Zines Capable of Reaching More Than Ten People 

Undercover Cop Having Terrible Time at DIY Folk Punk Festival 

Man Asks Record Store Employee If They Validate Opinions

Violent, Rage-Filled Incel Turns 15 

Man Keeps Car Visor CD Sleeve Full In Case Of Emergency 

Kid Windmilling in Pit Tilted by Old Man on Horse 

Guy Alone at Show Stoked to See Long Line at Bathroom 

Haircut Noticed

Heavily Tattooed Band Tired of Being Asked if They are Chefs

Punk Upset Constant Anti-Capitalism Rants Result in Third Consecutive Birthday with No Gifts