Sneak Peak at Some Upcoming Articles You Can Be IN

Friends,

Thanks so much for choosing to support our patreon. You’ll notice your names and starting to pop up in our stories, but we want to find headlines where you can actually pose a photo and get tagged on our instagram.

So, in that spirit, you’re about to see a bunch of our headlines BEFORE THEY ARE PUBLISHED.

Insane.

Incredible.

Please do not tweet them and steal our thunder. 

We’ll also be creating a special Patreon Discord so we can chat, hang out, and game. More info on that soon.

Please let me know if you believe you can pose one of these headlines and I’ll hit you with some details. The pics need to be via a real camera or newer phone, and croppable to 1200x630 (rectangle). 

Enjoy this sneak peak of headlines and let us know if you want to be involved in one!

Best,

Matt 

Much Too Late Now to Ask Close Friend His Real First Name

Aging Punk’s “Skate or Die” Tattoo Becoming More Threatening Every Day

Overly Polite Frontman Wants to Know How You Are Doing Tonight, If You Need Water, If You Are Liking New Job

Haircut Noticed

Only Straight Edge Guy at Party Forms Lifelong Bond with Host's Cat

Heavily Tattooed Band Tired of Being Asked if They are Chefs

Punk Upset Constant Anti-Capitalism Rants Result in Third Consecutive Birthday with No Gifts

Friend with Least Amount of Shit Together Started Reading Tarot Cards if You’re Interested 

New PUP album syncs up perfectly with man crying in shower

Vocalist Warms Up By Yelling At Sound Guy

Man Caught Stealing from Merch Table Condemned to be New Merch Guy Until Ancient Curse Passed On

Merch Guy Unsure Why Fan Attempting to Steal Free Sticker

24-Year-Old Metalhead Passes For 48-Year-Old Dock Worker

Man Risks Lifelong Friendship Over 10% Chance Of Getting Laid

Modern Day Cinderella Leaves Half Smoked Bowl Behind

Politely-Uttered “You’ve Told This Story Before” No Match for Bandmate’s Tale

Hat Guy Now Also Harmonica Guy

Entirety Of Drum Lesson Spent Learning To Do Twirly Thing With Sticks

Four Guys Standing In a Field Somehow Not a Band

New drummer not given name so band doesn't get too attached

“Merch Guy” Dreams Of Being Promoted To “Occasional Guest Vocalist”

REPORT: Guy With Tiny Beanie Announces Engagement to Girl In Overalls

HEADLINE: Uh Oh: Scrabble Opponent Knows the Weird Words

DESCRIPTION: Pretentious person playing Scrabble

HEADLINE: Rescue Team Gives Up Search For Comic Book Store Employee After Devastating Funko Pop Avalanche

DESCRIPTION: Person, preferably in a Game Stop or comics store, under a pile of Funko Pops

HEADLINE: Guy Who Swears He’s Playing Skyrim VR Needs to Take His Dick Out For Some Reason

DESCRIPTION: Pervy looking guy playing PlayStation VR (NO ACTUAL NUDITY, PLEASE!)

HEADLINE:  Ubisoft Employee's First Day at Work Spent Climbing Building For Access

DESCRIPTION: Person in work clothes starting to climb a building.

HEADLINE:  Meet Gary, The First Ever Person to Pay For Photoshop

DESCRIPTION: Guy using PhotoShop

HEADLINE:  Polyamorous Gamer Thinks Everyone Should Have a Few Mains

DESCRIPTION: Photo of someone looking into camera. Bonus: separate photos of a few boyfriends/girlfriends also looking into camera.

HEADLINE:  Opinion: We Need More Couch Co-op Games in Case I Ever Make Friends

DESCRIPTION: Person on a couch playing video games alone.

HEADLINE:  Friend Asking Around For Wood Like It Grows on Fucking Trees

DESCRIPTION: Someone playing Catan asking for more wood cards (other players annoyed).

HEADLINE:  Female GameStop Employee Somehow Being Threatened, Patronized, and Hit On at Same Time

DESCRIPTION: Woman at GameStop getting hit on while at work.

HEADLINE:  Heartbreaking: Man Too Good at Fighting Game to Enjoy Playing Against Friends But Not Good Enough to Play Competitively

DESCRIPTION: Group of friends playing fighting game (one man looks sad).