beWilder’s Wildest: Round #2, Match #4 - Post Match! (SFW Version)

Heyya out there, wild fans! How’s my dearest fans in the whole world doing? What’s the news way out there on the shores? It’s been a while now that I’ve had my feet on beWilder Island, and I’ll admit it’s getting a little hard for ol’ Caroline here to not go a little “native” as the saying goes. But with cameras everywhere… Oh, but I’ve got news for you all! But again, cameras, so… Maybe you’ve already heard about it, huh? Another girl’s gone another step wilder, so to speak! Isn’t that right…?

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…Well said. Yes, our 12th match is in the history books now. The winner remains here with the sands between her toes, the loser is here with me for a postgame post’em’up! Of sorts… We’ll see how this goes. Ready to play ball…?

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… Yup, this is going to be a rip-roaring think piece, full of laughs, tears and solemn introspection, I can already tell. Oh boy. Well, I always knew this would come, since all the girls will eventually make it, so… Let’s go for it. If I can make this work, Hell, I’ve got to have earned my stripes for bigger jobs around here, right?

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And that my dear fans and friends, is beWilder’s Wildest! Round 2! 4 matches set up, 4 matches played, and 8 hot-to-trot women turned to our fans’ favourite Top 4, now including the big-name Noemi Bellocchio herself! Yes, the official word is Noe beats Quiet to close out the round. NTR fans rejoice, for it’s all good news for you this week. Your titular woman earned her place in the Semifinals, your girls as a team extended their streak to an all-time high of 3 wins, and with it the trio of Round 1 winning NTR girls all made their way to 3rd Round together! Not a loss among them, yet. There is some less than ideal news ahead however, as by seizing a sweep of the right side of the brackets now, we’re on a collision course for quite the knockout match-up ahead, right? Frankie vs Noemi will be our official 2nd Semifinal pairing, because remember, at the end of the day this ain’t no team game! As for Quiet, her part can’t be forgotten in all this, not at all. The last AoH woman other than Lara has now fallen, though for a few short hours it seemed like she might just snipe a sweetheart out of the contest… But alas, the appeal of Italiana and ‘La Dolce Vita’ just couldn’t be quashed, and so Quiet… Let’s talk*, you and me!

*Caroline’s Editorial Note! Just a quick little housekeeping note from yours truly, at the request of my Spooky editor. I’m sure you’ve become used to my interviewing technique by now, with 11 hot momma’s come through already, yes? When I speak, I speak like this, while my guest speaks like this, you’re surely aware. Well… to spare your eyes a whole lot of bolding this week, since I’ll be doing most of the talking, we’re changing that up and switching it around. This this once! Alright, got that? Great stuff! Let’s begin.

Caroline: Hello Quiet, nice to finally meet you. Let me tell you something to start things off, I only hope you won’t take any offence, ok? Here goes…

… So far, and 11 interviews into this fun, and already I’ve sat with 2 superpowered killers, 1 superpowered heroine, 1 super-hopeful heroine/demon succubus, a hopeless klutz, a hair-triggered biter, an unabashed sociopath, a government killer (among other things), an animal-styled klepto, a rich btch with a golden smile, and… and well Alice was actually pretty nice, I’ll give her that. I don’t have any bad words for her. Still. Even with all that, you my dear Quiet, you’ve been the interview I’ve been most anxious about. Yeah… Don’t suppose you have anything to say on all that? Any of it even? No?

Quiet: …

Caroline: Can’t say I’m surprised. That’s ok. I’ve become pretty good at getting info out of obstinate and uncooperative conversation partners. Not that I’m saying that’s you, I mean you have a special reason for it, it’s not like you’re just mad at losing like a lot of the others… Right? It’s hard to tell… Tsk. Ok, maybe this will be tricky after all. Though if Spook can interview you, so can I!

First question then: Tell us about your match. How does it feel to be beaten by Noemi? How do you think the bout went for you, all things considered? Give us your best insights, please.

Quiet: …

Didn’t think so. Ok. I’ll say what I think you would, you just nod or shake your head if I get it wrong.

So first things first, the score. It was one of the higher turnout pairings of the round, and not surprising since it was 2 big names from both parody and OC sides of things. Even so, it wasn’t much of a close match, sadly for you, ending 20-6 in favour of the reigning 3rd place lady and not you. It seems even you couldn’t break the spell of the NTR girls going wild, even though the hopes where you’d give us a real run for our money. Once again, the parody girls pull in a half-dozen loves, that’s something for sure but at the same time it just doesn’t cut it when it comes to winning.

Quiet: …

Right. We agree. Possibly. The next thing I’ve got to put out there… Now that it’s over and we’re not prejudicing anything, it’s got to be thought you were coming into this as the underdog to say the least. We’ll touch more on Round 1 a little later, but your match with Alice exposed some weakness in you we didn’t think we’d see, truthfully. Maybe it’s a testament to her being above expectation for a henchgirl, but even counting that all of us on the production side were surprised to see your newborn baby dear legs wobbling then. Aside from Lara and Natasha leading the parody names, we expected this contest to be the thing that launched your name to the top end of that same list, but it wasn’t quite to be, huh?

Quiet: …

No nod? No shaking head? Hrm. At least you’re not humming a death knell at me, that’s something.

On paper, when we look back on the opening brackets, and we saw both Natasha and Noemi’s path through them would see the winner either come up against you for their second match, or against an Alice who managed to beat you, we thought that hey, maybe the 2nd Round for them might be as strong a test for them as the 1st, but after seeing Round 1 go for you a lot closer than we expected (doubly so after fellow lesser scene parody girl Gwen set a Round/’23 Tournament record against the other hatchet lady Beth in match #3), we were forced to alter that expectation, as I suspect many of the fans did too…

… Then again! This isn’t a sniper shot to the heart hitjob here. Even as I speak, I can already feel some bright light peeking through the clouds. Despite what Match #8 showed us, I don’t think they’re many fans out there truly counting Natasha out as a force of personality around here. Nobody can say Noemi didn’t firmly seize the reins as “leading leading lady” now, but if things weren’t single elimination Natasha would likely be clawing her way up the lower brackets still. Comparing her attempts against the same girl, you’re not far off the mark at all, are you? Only a vote or so behind where Big Red was and you even held Noe back from hitting her Round 1 high as well, just by a little, but still. That means you’ve helped to make it so only fellow AoH participant Lara (if your personal rival) to hold her own from Round 1, and that shave of momentum might just be the difference come the last 2 rounds… The last contest was won by just 1 vote swinging Lara’s way after all. All-in-all, you did leave a mark on the contest, and achieve something worth a little self-pride…

Quiet: …

So, in summary, if you’re like us you must be upset that you didn’t quite hold up to your expectations coming into the contest, but happy that you’re not that far off you couldn’t speculate with some “what ifs?”. Too bad for you that you came up against one of the greatest, eh?

Quiet: …

Ah yes, look at that face light up… Defeated sigh. Ok, so enough about your loss, how about we talk about your win. Moreso, that is. Back in Round 1 you were up against our own sponsor’s working gi-… Waitresses is a much better term, actually… Alice Wyrick. The strait-laced and much put upon big sister to all the girls under the Deli’s roof, and unfortunately for her, the 1-time head-to-head contestant and 1-time loser. You beat her by a surprisingly close, if I may say, 15-8.

“Now hold on Caroline”, I hear you not saying, “that’s almost a clear 2-to-1 win. That’s not particularly close. There’s certainly been closer matches before and since too”. You’d be right to say that. But I would also be too when I push back with “given the disparity in name ID, power level, the weight of all the MG content and Rule 34 out there, plus your status as a Bad Girl and Alice just being a bad girl”… We you see how you’d think that you could’ve blown her out if the water with a 3 or even 4-to-1 margin. Right?

Quiet: …

Still can’t phase you, huh? Well, I’m really not here to put you down. It’s true a 15-8 win is a solid one. A lot of girls out there who are now off the board sure would’ve taken it. Alice, for certain, would have taken it. Unlike your fellow Ivyspawn sister Dyana, who also won her opening gambit, with 15 votes you landed on top of all the losers with those 15… Dyana’s 13 meant she would’ve sunk below losers Kelsey and Raven if it wasn’t for her ‘W’ and their ‘L’s, but not you. Good going. I hear you and her don’t get along much, so there’s some bragging rights for you take home to that awkward family dinner table next holidays, right? Is that… Is that a smile, maybe…?

Quiet: …

Thought not. Well, it’s not like she doesn’t have something to bite back with. Dyana’s still the woman to hold the most of her own when it comes to the losing side of the outcomes, as you managed to just about hold 40% of your Round 1 fanboys/girls, while Dyana held closer to half… Though probably by virtue of having a lower Round 1 total to begin with, it’s fair to think? Though that doesn’t account for how she took down 1/3rd from Frankie but you only shaved a count of 2 off Noe… Hrm. It’s going to be tricky to draw a line between you 2 in the rankings, huh?

No! Hold, on, wait…! I’m getting buzzed in my ear… And given it’s a soft Irish voice it must be from the boys upstairs directly! Hi, boss… Ok. Yes… Uh-huh. I can see why you’d- Ok, sorry. Yes, that’s fine with me, I’ll tell her now…

Congratulations Quiet, you’re 7th! Official world has been handed down, that’s the way it’s going to be. In fact, we’ve got a whole bowl of results to declare!

Quiet: …

The official results for the ‘23/’24 ranks 5-8 are thus, as spoken by the boys themselves:

8th place, Dyana (down 3 places from 5th in bWW!18). On account of the lowest vote tabs in both Rounds, and a moderate weighting strength of Kriem (one of the better performing losers but not a stand-out contestant) + Frankie (2nd highest Round 1 performance and biggest improvement thus far since 2018), Dyana just couldn’t gain enough grown to confidently say she’s able to stand shoulder to shoulder with the other ladies in this batch.

7th place, Quiet (Rookie performance). I did kind of spoil this above, but still. Close on par with other girls in Round 2, her Round 1 totals raise her above Dyana, but the strength of her competition can’t beat the other’s lot of things. It’s hard to tell if Alice (up 1 rank from bWW!18) did well or Quiet did poorly, but either way Quiet couldn’t match her entry expectations which holds her back now. There’s no shame in being beat by Noemi (still reigning 3rd place with potential for slight gains/loss still) who herself beat championship hopeful Natasha (former 2nd place), but again, it’s just not enough to overcome the achievements of others.

6th place, Selina “Catwoman” Kyle (Up 4/5 ranks since bWW!18, depending how you count it). Now this one was a harder call to make, though not because of tiebreaking the girl below but the girl above. Between Cat and Quiet, Cat’s Round 1 being 33% better than Quiets, plus the weight of Raven (a poor vs expectation performer, admittedly) + Lara (the reigning and still high performing champion Queen of the beWilderverse), that’s all the tiebreak we need to call this one. Cat’s votes have her winning on her own merits, and the very close quality of their competition to qualify the value of those votes (we’ll see which ends up being stronger come Rounds 3 and 4) means Quiet can’t over come this. Cat gets to the final 6, so, but…

5th place, Gwendolyn “SpiderGwen” Stacy (Rookie performance). Gwen beats Cat to the Top 5 by a thin tiebreak, but enough I’m told to officially call it. Though Gwen’s path through was an easier one than Cats, with Beth (last place, down 7 from once holding 9th) and Asana (up at least 3 from 7th in 2018 and still aiming for higher), her vote totals are still higher in each round. Even lowering the weighted value of Gwen’s 33 down to Cat’s 26 by the virtue of the match-up strengths, that still leaves Gwen on top as currently holding the 15th Seed below Cat’s 10th. It’s been an official rule since match 1 that the lowest seed gets the tiebreak benefit in direct head-to-head, and we’ve already given Alice a rank up over Mystique after Round 1 by the same token. It’s close, but Gwen wins the promotion and 5th place.

And so, with that, we’ve now got places 5th through 16th set for this contest, with just 4 girls left to make the wildest women of. Now isn’t that news indeed? Quiet, care to weigh in…?

Quiet: …

Exactly! You said it best, girl. Let the fans be the first to weigh in on the best news yet.

Let’s change tact now, as I like to do with these things. 7th of 16 is good, I wish I could get to be at least that someday so kudos, but we can do better for you someday, I’m sure. All that talk about expectations for you, they must have been that high for a reason so let’s present you more to the fans and see if we can’t get you Round 3 bound in 3… 5… 10… years’ time… Sorry, I don’t know if and when this’ll all go around again. Even so, let’s start like it’s coming tomorrow!

First thing to put to you: What’s next for Quiet?

Quiet: …

Wait, wait! Let me guess… “You don’t know”! Yeah, you and every other woman I get in here, darling. Expect that won’t fly for you. I already know.

Of course what’s next for you is a return to form in your clash with Lara. The Last Raider hasn’t finished while I was in wardrobe and make-up, has it? Thought not. Sure, it’s been a long time since we’ve seen anything on the comic side of things, let’s not get messy with the whys here and now, but like Hell if it’s gone completely, right? Right…?

Quiet: …

Can I maybe get a buzz in my ear again and somebody tell me I’m right…? Please…?

Ah! Here it is. Phew… Hello again bo-, oh! Hola, I should say… ‘¿Lo suficientemente caliente para usted, Sr. Unshi?’… Wait, I speak Spanish…? What’s that…? Uh-huh… Ok. Sure. That’s a relief. ‘Si’. ‘Muy buena’. Thanks!

So the answer is, I’m right! The Last Raider isn’t finished, it’s just not to be expected anytime soon is all. All thing being as they are, bWW!’s the most fun we can fit around the content of game creation for now, but content that’s already begun is going to see a finish someday. As it turns out, making a comic release takes almost as many images as the guts of a game release, and who of you fans out there would take a PDF update of Lara’s antics over Natasha’s gaming in Heels or Noemi’s dinner service? The boys say they’re going to keep it lean and mean content wise only focusing on the games until AoH is finally completed in a handful of versions, and then there will be time to consider comical content again. NTR will of course get the lion’s share of the opened up time, but there will be versions that come that will be considered “bonus” for a time, done when AoH would be if it were still ongoing. These will tackle technical things, like revamped UI in places, overhauled Save/Load for example, and also boost up gameplays too so later versions can afford longer x-rated scenes. These versions are closer to half version, which can mean we could also see to releasing Lara (and Quiet, hence we’re talking about this) content then too to round out the months there as we reach the Last Raider completion as well, going deeper and faster with Noemi for a time, and look to what potential there may be for a Game 3. That’s what Unshi just said. Spanish is a fast language!

So… Long story short, that’s what’s next for you Quiet! More battling it out in South America with Lara. You won’t beat her here we know now but perhaps you’ll get her good there yet!

Quiet: …

Ah. The easy, reassured attitude of a woman with a future ahead of her for sure… Must be nice.

Next question then. We heard a little bit about the Ivyspawn sisters and their interpersonal dramas last week. How’s that big loving family doing?

Quiet: …

Nothing to say? Ok. We also learned that Dyana is Afghani by birth and she had a hand in a lot of warzones there. You’ve been there too, plenty. Ever cross paths or even butt heads out on the sands?

Quiet: …

Tsk. Any thoughts on the fact Ivy’s not in the line up of 16 here? I mean, I kind of do. She’s been mostly a threat behind the scenes, sure, but she’s seen more face time with fans than 4 girls on the brackets (maybe even 5 counting you) and certainly casts an important shadow. Why wasn’t she picked for a fresh appearance?

Quiet: …

So I should start to get the picture right about now that I’m not getting any more info out of you than the last time you were interviewed, huh?

Quiet: …

Fine. If that’s the case, let’s wrap things up. It’s been fun at least. I didn’t get myself threatened, demeaned or insulted, so all-in-all a pretty great conversation to tell the truth. Still, I’ve got to ask first: Which girl left gets your backing? Could it be you want your victor Noemi to go all the way?

Quiet: …

Couldn’t be Lara you’re backing, is it? What a scoop that’d be.

Quiet: …

Frankie?

Quiet: …

Asana?

Quiet: …

And just like that we’re out of girls. That’s what happens when you reach the last quarter… Let’s just put you down for Lara then. I’d like to think you’re buddies really, and AoH loyalty could be needed for the last parody standing.

Last question then, feel free to reuse that same perfected stare. Anything to say to the fans? No? Ok then, le-

Quiet: Echem

… The fck…? No! No, she’s seriously not going to… Is she?!

Quiet: ♫ Hum. Hum-hum-hum… ♫

♫ Birds… In the sky. Carry… These words for me…

Life, tasted sweet… It let me live! Let me breathe…

… Hurt so bad… But still, saved my soul...

Flowers of a brighter past, bloomed so free, beneath the sun…

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… For tomorrow ♫

My God… Quiet, your voice is so beautiful. That was so lovely I’m… I’m getting choked up… Cough… Excuse m- Cough-cough …

… That’s the end of our interview, but your time here isn’t… isn’t… cough! Over yet! Damn, I’m so sorry… I seem to be coming down with something all of a sudden, I… Wiping eyes. Thanks for coming by, Quiet, really. I’m going to have to run off and find the medicine box before I have to come back for the closer. Ex-sneeze! ‘Cuse me. Sal! Sal, take over, quickly please… Bye-bye Quiet, thanks again. Cough.

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I’m sorry to say that Caroline wouldn’t be the first women to run off crying from my direction, but as with so, so many of them, she’ll eventually come running back. You’ll see.

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Oh, come now. Quiet. Sweetest heart of all. Don’t tell me you intend to say nothing at all to me, after opening up to Caroline, the fans and world? Am I not as special to you as you are to me?

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Pfft! Fine then, have it your way. Let’s just leave this as business then, I’ll find my pleasure elsewhere, while you’ll find nothing coming your way for a long time. Who does that tickle that voice box of yours?

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You understand that we’re going to find it rather difficult to set out a challenge without you using your words, yes? Even children can do this, after all. I’m afraid I simply won’t accept any drawings in the sand or hand scrawled notes for this. Not if you’re going to treat me so unkeenly as to deny me your voice, as it’s so obvious you would like to…

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Alright, since you aren’t living up to the participants end of the contracts, perhaps I’ll find my pleasure right here! If you won’t set a challenge, it falls to me to do so, and I would love to do so!

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I have plenty of ideas I’d care to ply, but of all the self-promotion I could do, I find myself yearning of something more than what I came here as sponsor for. I’m getting awfully tired of Caroline slipping out of these challenges and not slipping out of her clothing. I’m sure the fans while hail me as their hero if I could only fix that. A bonus, as I do this for myself, to spite her constant rebuffs. Hmph.

The challenge I set is a reenactment of William Tell, with Caroline donning the apple on her head. You will be our shooter, with the water gun of your choice… However, even as we tell her your sniper instincts will be trained on her beheaded fruit, we’ll truly have you aim at the fruit of her loins!

A full soaking, wet-wet-wet. You hit her everywhere but above the eyebrows, until she’s soaked and naked for us all. Do it until her clothes are so wet the fall off her. Yes?

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Then yes it is. Wonderful. Now take that toneless attitude out of my sight! The disrespect, I tell you. Hmph.

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Excuse me all, I’m afraid a sudden fever has taken me, so I might need to rest awhile… Where’s Nurse Kelly when we need her, she’s supposed to be on medical call… Cough!

Don’t worry folks, I’m sure it’s just a little something… I’ll be fine. Seems the times align well anyway, as this is the last of bWW!23/24 for now, I’m sorry to say. It’s time the work on Agents of Heels next version comes to the forefront rather than sitting in the back in the quiet, yes? I’ll be resting up and recuperating a little, making sure the women still on beWilder Island are all doing well, and that the twist in store for Round 3 finds it’s way here safe and sound… Thank Sal for that one, for once he’s done something cool…

… Yes, beWilder’s Wildest! will be back after the next AoH release, my best speculation being sometime in June, and of course it’ll be with another instalment of Winners’ Week as promised. Lara, Asana, Frankie and Noemi will all be back with more interactions between them while I psyche us all up for the remaining matches! Won’t the be wild! You’ll see from there where the rest of this fun is going, so until then…

Be staying on the island and beWilder!