beWilder’s Wildest: Round #2, Match #1 - Post Match! (SFW Version)

Mic check, 1-2. Is thing on? Great. Hi all and a hearty welcome back to the sun and sands of beWilder Island! Caroline here again, microphone in hand and company by my side, which can only mean one thing, even if it’s been so long, huh? Another match is in the history books now, and we’re down to the luckiest number 7 when it comes to counting girls. That’s the sad news I have to bring to you all, as matches ending mean winners and losers, but I can help you take the edge off that bruising right now. Let’s postgame once again! I know the fans are all ready, but what about you…?

Rrrawph.

… You know, I thought as much. I’m getting used to how these go by now too… Kitties got claws, I think we all saw that coming actually. No reason not to go ahead with things…

Tsk. You’re no fun.

Y-Yes I am! Don’t go telling people that! You’re not the only one here trying to make the fans happy enough you can come back again. Those rumours will hurt you know! I hope you’re just trying to make this all the more interesting and not really being out to get me, because I didn’t do this to you, the fans did. Heck, I even boosted you when you won and everything… Whatever, you just sit there a minute, I’ll get us going with the match synopsis.

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Here we are again, folks. The 9th time of our 16 set dates together, meaning this is now the first step into the second half taken. That’s a little bittersweet tasting rolling off my tongue, but it’s made all the sweeter knowing what we’ve seen and been through getting here. We’ve got a whole new match and a whole new contestant to settle in with, and that contestant is the one and only Selina right next to me. Match 9 is now history as I’ve said, important history, as the champ Lara retains her title another round, beating Catwoman on the boards. In an AoH vs AoH match up, it was always going to winnow the field on that branch’s side, but by the same token their stronger candidate rises to Round 3 and the Semi-Finals. With this win, Lara will escape the elimination cut-off for the rest of the contest, meaning we’ll see her at least twice more like all the Top 4. However, that means for Selina right here, this will be the last official face time for her in bWW!23/24. Let’s make the most of it, shall we?

First off, Shush. This is my show now. ‘Bout time too. Second off, it’d really help me “make the most” of this if when you do talk you’d call me “Cat” and not Selina, thanks. There’s only a paw’s worth of people who I will suffer being called that for, and you sweetheart are not a nail on that claw. Ok? Deal?

If you insist, alright. I’m sorry, I was only trying to be considerate as I know myself I don’t much care for being called simply “Car” or the like, but to each their own. So, Cat, let’s talk about your matches.

Absolutely, Car.

H-Hey! Tsk. I’d have expected that from some of teenagers before you, but you’re supposed to be in your 20’s, that’s just rude. It’ll make this easier for me to say, however. You lost to Lara, let’s talk about that! We already covered your win before so we’ll start with the hot news. We laid it out before the match that this was going to be a harder fight for you than your opponent, but it still had the potential to be close. That potential lasted 10 minutes and 8 votes when Lara dashed out to a 7-to-1 lead. It got to a closer ratio than that by the final bell, but her lead was way more as well. The official tally is 22-6, Lara-Cat, so how do you feel about that? 

Lousy, alright? There, I said it. I’m not happy I lost. Top and bottom line.

Here I was finally on a win and hoping on any of my 9 lives to make it into a streak, if only I hadn’t been drawn against Lara right when I didn’t need it! Then again, anyone I’d be up against in Round 2 would be a proven winner, right? Might have been a ledge too far no matter what. Tsk.

I don’t know. I was hoping I’d at least have a scraper’s chance at an upset, then maybe it’d be more of an open question as to who’s the second girl of AoH, you get me? I’ve shown up in game, I’ve helped when it’s been important, I’ve played toe-to-toe with Natasha, and I’ve even got me one of those agent suits now to beat the one I made myself from scrap, but even with Lara only showing her face in the menu she’s still the one people think of as a step behind the main woman. Maybe even a step ahead sometimes.

Oh. Ok, yes, I can understand that. Just so you know, Lara was actually meant to be a part of the phases of AoH we’re in now which is why she’s in the title screen, but that didn’t really pan out what with The Last Raider being unfinished and all… Maybe that should be changed.

Better yet, keep her and let me be in a comic too. I’ve got stories to tell. I’m still real young for a Catwoman, so you guys have a Hell of a lot of work to do to build me up to a master thief still, so do that instead of tearing Lara down. She did win after all. Credit where it’s due. Cats like competent people, FYI.

Eehhh… I don’t have the power to make any of that happen, I’m just the hostess. I’ll pass the message along though. Maybe someday things’ll expand around here and more comic stuff can be done, but for now let’s not hold our breath waiting and instead talk more about the contest. So, how much more fun was it to battle in Round 2’s Leisure games than in Round 1’s Survival?

Oh yeah, so much more fun! You put me on a surfboard, you tools! Cats. Don’t. Like. Water! That’s twice you put me in it. Bad dog boys! Bad!

Again, I didn’t do that! So don’t raise those claws at me, please! But I did run that match up and you were clearly having fun. I saw it! You can’t complain about that now.

I can’t? Really? Let me show you how wrong you are, Car. Maybe if I wasn’t up against a surf pro know it all I’d have make it more of a 60%-40% contest, but I guess we’ll never know, huh? Hell, maybe I’d even have been able make it a 49-51% and got my hands on that crown at last. That’d be… Drool… Talk about a prize for the collection. Blow’s Noemi’s cheap-ass charm neckless out of the ocean let alone the water…

First things first, I’m being told in my earpiece I have to clarify, “We make sure to highlight your best assets and downplay any and all references to ‘Flat as a board’ in your bout, so it’s not pick of games that set the scores. Maybe you should have ‘climbed Lara like a scratching post’ like you said. Also, our sincere condolences on losing.”… Huh. Rare that even I hear from the directors directly, so that’s something. I don’t think Lara’s even caused that.

Secondly, you know Lara doesn’t actually have a real crown, don’t you? For all the talk about it, we’ve never actually shown her with a coronet. I don’t think there’d be one for you to wear if you won, or now for you to… is Catburgle an actual verb?

There isn’t? Truly…? Huh…

Well, to tell the truth that does make this feel a fair bit easier to stomach now. I always figured she just refused to be seen in it because of all the British Lady stuff she’s always brushing off. But there’s really no actual crown? Ok. I’ll still likely keep my date on the calendar for a midnight prowl through Croft Manor since I’ve already gone through the trouble of making a back up plan, but you saved me some trouble looking for that piece. Thanks.

If I pretend I didn’t hear that, I don’t think that makes me liable as an accessory, I pray to God… Speaking of the celestial, let’s turn this towards more of a happy note for you. We had one Demon girl in this competition, and you put her down, 20-13, so want to give us a few thoughts on that before we turn away from the results part of the show?

Ok, now that I’m pretty happy to talk about all da-

I’m sure you are, actually, so I’ve got to step in here before we go way off track! Between that win and today, that puts your content and career head-to-head records both a 1-1, which means you can walk away head held higher than at least 8 other women, and certainly not a loser.

Yeah, thanks, Car. I was about to say that myself, but if you need to cough up a hairball that much… But also… Yeah, thanks. That is a nice way to look at it. Even the most cloudy diamond has a sparkle to it, it’s true.

And speaking of rare gems and losing ladies, I’m more than stoked to have been Raven, no doubt, but if I had my way I’d have had her up against somebody else in Round 1… I’d have soooo loved to have met her during Winner’s Week and nabbed that glowing Bindi off her forehead! There were too many eyes on us to do it during our match, damn it. Then I’d have let her battle Lara out of the contest and pounced in Round 3 to ride her pale ass to the finals…! Purr… Would that it were, eh?

You might not believe me when I say this, but you may have ended up very glad that this is the way it played out if you ever got your nailed gloves on that particular jewel. You do raise an interesting point though, what would bWW!23/24 have looked like if Raven had made it to face Lara, having beaten her 2-1 in the 3 Battle of the Babes matches from a few Winters past?

This time I’m going to stop you I your thought tracks, Car. We don’t know and I don’t care. It didn’t happen. I won. Let’s leave it at that.

“Momma always used to tell me, ‘Hon’, you ain’t ever gonna get very far in life, but you’re gonna make a whole heap of people come up short.”… I feel like I’ve heard one of the other girls around here think that out loud before. Anyway, seems fitting for what I ended up doing in this contest.

That’s a little dour for a final thought on the matter, Sel-Err… Cat… But if that’s how you feel. It certainly is fitting, I’ll give you that…

… Looking at the bigger picture, it’s too early to say for certain where you’ll end up on the lasting list of places, but it will be somewhere between 5 and 8, we know that much. I think it’s fair to say as hostess and partial organiser of things that given there’s only 4 sets of results to come, and each of them picking up from different starting points this time, unlike the clean slates in Round 1, that we wait to see all the performances before we set the table, right? I mean, we want to be weighing up the ranks as close as they come to reality of the contest. With 20 votes to start and 7 more to add to it, weighed up against the fact that you got them against Raven and Lara, that’ll at least be the basis of the water mark for the 3 girls to come who are as unlucky as you in Round 2. How’s that sound? 

Sounds like math, honestly. What, you’re going to average everything out or something like that? Doesn’t matter much to me either way. I’ll still end up somewhere in the middle of the pack, so that’s… Pfft. I’d better get attention worth the Top 8 in future, that’s all that matters. 

I’ll make sure the boys get that message. I can’t promise anything but…

… Hey, if some time in front of the fans all your own is what you’re hankering for, I can give you that much now. The contest talk is pretty much covered, so how about we do the personal side of things and get you some face time before the next bWW!, (Muttered) If there is a next one, fingers crossed.

I’d like that. It’s my cat nip, after all. Shoot… Oh, wait. By personal, I don’t mean talking about the past, alright? Keep it current of better, or all you’ll get is the cat’s trademark disinterest.

Ok… Noted. Somebody hasn’t been reading the competition literature, obviously. Anyway, the burning question first as always: What’s next for Catwoman?

You ask that question to everyone you interview, huh? I bet you get a lot of “I dunno”s. Right?

… Maybe a few… Answer the question please, and do me the favour of not adding to that collection if you can.

Can’t say that I can, to tell the truth. For your info, I actually do read these things as they go out. Info is a huge power in our edge of this beWilder world after all. That’s how I know Natasha already did a whole big thing on what the future might hold after AoH and she’s got more authority than I do on the subject so take her at her word.

For me, all I can tell you is what I want to happen, and that’s for me to keep showing my face. NYC’s not going anywhere, and I’m not leaving it either. I’ll be around so why not let me get my feet wet, so to speak. I’ll say again in case the boys take me literally. Cats. Hate. Water.

So the next phase of the beWilderverse should be some form of ‘Agents of Heels: Catwoman’s 9 Lives’? Hrmm. I actually meant that as a slightly sassy joke title, but it’s not half bad. 

Don’t go making me sound like I’m out of touch, you. We both know I’m not next up to lead a full game, not at 5th-to-8th place, and besides, we also both know that OC content is taking over this place so it’s not like I’d be in with a chance unless I got 1st or something.

I’m not saying I won’t do it! That’s stupid to think otherwise, any one of us here would take that chance, even you. It’s just not likely to happen, even as a comic or something, like I hinted at doing earlier. Got to be real, here.

I supposed we do, yes.

Then let me ask you a serious question back. If I got a bo ob job, would that matter any? Like a serious one. As big some of the girls around here? Would that have got me to number 1 and in there running for a real content instalment of my own? They’ve done it for me before, for the Hell of it. It’s in one of the posts around here from years ago, I’m pretty sure. If it was permanent, would I get credit for it?

You’ve had breasts as big Lara’s before? What?! Eerr. Sorry, that’s unprofessional of me… Heh. To answer your question, I don’t know. You’d really have to get the fans input on that since they decide the matches here, but I don’t think things are changing around here like that. But as you said to my proposed alternate history: We don’t know and it didn’t happen. Instead, let me ask you what it is you really want directly, within the bounds of reasonably possibly, yes?

What I really want for the future? What all us girls want. Ultimately, I just want a place in this world. An alive, even if dormant place. That’s really all. Don’t just forget about us after your done with your first chances at doing things to us, that’s not fair and shouldn’t be the deal. Ok?

Sure, go do you’re OC stuff next if that’s how you go about it, but save some background stuff for the likes of us until you get back to us. There’s always something to steal that’ll make the news. Hell, the Pink Panther is overdue a knicking. Hell, I’ll even take a day trip and lift the freakin’ Liberty Bell in Philly if that’s what it takes to stay relevant in some back of the mind spot somewhere, alright?

Then, when you guys up there, or wherever you are, can get back to doing more content in all the pleasing forms, I’ll be older, more grown up maybe, and a lot more like the cat thief I’m meant to be, ready to really steal hearts.

I… Thank you for that. Couldn’t be easy being so heartfelt like that. All I can say is I’m sure I’m speaking for the devs here when I say it’s never a matter of not wanting women around, it’s a matter of bandwidth and best creative direction. For sure though, when parody content is on the table, I’m sure you won’t be far behind. Like you said as well, there’s a lot more to your character than has been lived up to yet.

Moving the topic to a bit more of a light one, now that we’re down to a pot of winners all and each just a couple hops from the winner’s top on the podium, who is it that’s got the Cat’s approval?

No idea. I don’t care anymore. Let any of them have it.

Hey now, don’t be a spoilsport right at the end. Please pick one, everyone else before you did. Some even picked you, so pass on the favour. There’s only 7 you can say, so it’s not hard.

Fine. Frankie.

No, hold on. Asana… Yeah, her.

She seems like the kind of airhead who’d leave her crown on the bus. It’ll be that much easier to steal it from her than anyone else, so she’s my choice.

I told you there’s no crown!

I know, but old habits, right?

Fine. Just don’t you dare interrupt the closing ceremony whatever you do. You know you’ll be the first suspect. We’ll leave you here on the island if anything steals the show. I’m serious… I’m not risking my own future over a mishap…!

Speaking of my own future, I have an… appointment, so to speak… That I really, can’t get out of. Believe me, I tried. I’m going to have to give you my thanks and call an end to our chatting here as the fitting room is calling. Thank you, Selina, Cat, any other name you no doubt go by we don’t even know about, it’s been great having you, our first losing winner. I’ll leave you with Sal (sorry), now. Here’s to seeing you again sometime. Over to the studio link up.

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Actually, I’m not in the studio today, for very delightful reasons. Hm-hm-ha! Hello again all, it’s great to be back. A cheery hello to you our cloying Cat as well.

Hi.

What? Cat got your tongue? Chuckle. I take it you’ve heard of my reputation preceding me all the way to New York then?

Don’t get out ahead of yourself, we’ve been doing this a few months now, we’ve all got a taste of your flavour by now. You know what Cat hate more than water? Rotten food…

How cruel. 

Oh, come on. Don’t even play with me, that’s my game. We both know if not for this segment the only other time I’d be talking to you is when I’m playing with you as my mark, and that’s if you had anything worth my efforts either.

Well then, it seems our desires align then. How lucky. Normally I’d want nothing more than a tete-a-tete with the coyest little kitty-suited darling on my doorstep, but today I’m in a rush myself. There’s a show coming, don’t you know? Heh. So I’ll allow you the mercy of making this quick. You know well enough by now if you know me, you as the loser dejour shall pick our next challenge for Caroline. Go for it, Little Ms Clever Paws…

Simple. Cats love to make sure they’re all spick and span clean with their tongue as the top tool, and I’m no different, only I’m curious to see what it looks like on the outside when a person’s doing it. My challenge reward is a full tongue bath tickle endurance, and I’m not just talking my own this time… I’ve already done the work today. She want’s a lickin’, she’ll get as many as I can round up here. Make that happen, hot shot.

I’ll see it done. Now on to the real postgame show!

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Shudder… It’s so hot out and yet I can’t stop that shiver up my spine after that…! Anyone got an epidural lying around? No…? Fssh. I’ll have to suck it up, won’t I? At least it’s over… Natasha’s a cruel mistress to boot.

Wh-Where were we before the clothes started coming off again…? Cat and I were saying… Oh, right, that means Match #9 is over, so on to Match #10, right? Gulp. Yeah. That. Does that mean I’m going to have to do something like this again…? Groan.

Well, we’re well and thoroughly back from Winner’s Week now, and with 1 match down it’s on to 2. It’s time for a new pair of winners to winnow, and that means getting Gwen Stacey vs Asana Khar action on the cards. This will be the best test of Gwen’s popularity yet, while at the same time the first of NTR’s remaining trio put to the heat as well. Which one will come out on top? I guess next week will tell all as the match begins Sunday 14th! We’ll see you there… and in the meantime I’ll be… Shuddering… Preparing for a tongue bath tickling… Weary groan. Seriously…? Tsk. Of course they’re serious… Alright…

So, as I’ve been told to keep ending these posts… “Until then”…

Be staying on the island and beWilder