beWilder’s Wildest: Round #2, Match #1 – Lara Croft vs Selina “Catwoman” Kyle!

Hola amigos and amigas! Welcome back to beWilder Island! Are we in Spanish territories waters right now? Still nobody knows, and I’m not telling…! What I am here to spill all the news about is the match up on the cards and on the sands today, or waters even, as we decide on yet another fine lady to send back home to mainland shores. It won’t be easy though… Yeah, it’s that time at last, Round 2! It’s all winners from here, or at least it is until you guys and girls vote-vote-vote! So let’s get into it. Let’s play!

It’s the kick off to Round 2, and since we’re back at the top that means we can say one thing loud and clear. Let me get my announcer voice on for this one. Echem… In the Left Corner! The reigning champion, the Queen of all things wild and the currently dubbed fans’ beloved… Lara Croft! And in the Right Corner, the challenger! Attempting to be the first ever Queen Slayer these lands have ever seen, to unseat the top dog in the pile and become the cat that wear the crown, to simply win in this battle of the babes. Selina, the “Catwoman”, Kyle! It’s AoH on AoH action to open the second half of the show! Parody on parody. Girl on girl, each with big names and big personalities too! I’m already all a titter to find out how it goes. 

And with the start of a new round, full of ladies with proven merit already, comes a new theme for these matches. We’re well past “Survival” and now were into “Leisure”! These will be all fun, and what looks like games, but let’s not fool ourselves any, it’s still a burning hot competition for the prizes and prestige. Even if the name of the game is Surfing USA! Everybody’s gone for it, haven’t you heard? He-he! Yes, it’s a battle of the most athletic pairing left in the brackets, only to make things a bit trickier on them both we’ve made them fish out of water and put them on boards off-shore! Ladies, let’s see if you can make your appeals while keeping dry above the neck… Go for it!

Lara

“Woo! We sure don’t get waves like this in Kent, that’s for sure! This may sound odd coming from me, but finally a vacation! I forgot how much fun you can have on the water when you take diving for sunken artifacts out of the options of things to do… Heh. That being said, I might have a boarding championship or two under my wetsuit’s belt from my Uni days to go with the last bWW! title, did I forget to mention…? Vote Adventure, Vote Lara!”

Catwoman

“Cats don’t like water, cats don’t like water, cats don’t-... Woo-hoo! This is a rush…!!! I bet I could even do a handstand if we just hit some tamer…! Oh, screw it! It’s sweet getting some time out of that skintight leather for once, even if I do love it’s embrace all over like it’s my natural fur coat. The sun on my ass, the sea spray against my… Delighted shiver! And if all goes wrong I can always pounce over to Lara and climb her like a scratching post! Hell, I might just do that anyway! Vote All Things Horizontal, Vote Catwoman!”

That’s the words from the women themselves, have you decided who gets your precious ballot paper and who gets her walking papers? Surfs up for one of them, you pick who! But first, the rules of the game!

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The Rules!

The guides we’re playing by are:

- Vote for who you’d like to see through to the Semi-Finals and to keep live it up on the island. Maybe that’s who you think is most deserving, the most fun, the best suit to surviving or best suited to your own personal desires. It’s your choice.

- Any ties will be decided automatically: Highest Seed (as in highest number, the underdog) Wins!

- There are no other rules!

What They’re Playing For!

- Winner stays to keep playing as a Semi-Finalist, keeping and increasing their chances of the crown, the title, and grand prize of being animated! Yes, animated! Even 2nd place (and 1st as well) gets a beWildervse Story prize too, do you recall?

- Winner also lives another Winners’ Week on beWilder Island with the other still winning women. Twice the wins means twice the appearances in Week #2 as well. Remember to take that into account!

- Winner will also escape elimination altogether by making it into the Semis and the Top 4. Any woman to win Round 2 will at worst end up in the 3rd Place Playoff Match, meaning we’ll see her at least twice more in bWW! match ups in the ‘23/24 Games!

- Loser’s votes still count in determining positions 5-8 for the final contest rankings, plus future contest seeding calculations (if we have any). The better your woman does, the better for her in the future, win or lose both.

- Loser goes home, but not before we take her exit interview and see her off with last sights and sounds from her in the usual Postgames with me, Caroline!

Those are the rules and the stakes of the game. We’ve not toyed around with the way the matches play out, but this being Round 2, we’re really starting to taste the goodies in the air now! Everything the girls played for in Round 1 juiced up and worth all the more, so be sure to really pick your winner and love her! Tsk. Speaking of “picking women to love”… This would be the part where our Sponsor Salvatore has his paid for speech so… Over to you…

Salvatore’s Premium Dish!

And a fine hello to you too, Caroline. You know I’d pick you in an instant if I could. Ha ha. Welcome to my segment again, dear fans and fellow players. It’s good to be back and eying up the prizes again, isn’t it? Well, if the ladies on display today make you hungry for something a little more, the Salvatore’s Deli chain has you covered.

My Premium Dish for this match was an easy one to imagine, what with dear Lara in the mix and a lovely pet Cat also playing for the day. With the title potentially to be decided in this game, at least if there will for certain be a new holder or maybe not, the dinner dejour is “Champ”. A dish straight from the blustery UK, made of mashed potatoes, scallions, and with a heaping helping of both butter and milk for creamy tasting and feline tongue pleasing as well. Aren’t I a considerate chef? And yes, I’m well aware that Champ is actually rather an Irish dish than English, but it’s all the same to the likes of me when the lights go out, so don’t even bother. If you’d rather have something meatier and a lot more supple to nibble on rather than fight that point, I also have you well covered. If your combined forces can muster up 27+ votes in total here (and you’ll notice I’m being generous and lowering my tolerance given the last 2 rounds), I’ll see we put on a show rather than dinner, with Caroline being the star as usual. Miss Natasha has already laid the challenge and loaned out her flashy red “Maiden of the East” dress, to which Caroline will be obligated to don and undo for us in a tantalizing display. Sounds a lot better than soggy mash, doesn’t it? Yes, the open fronted dress that my fellow intrepid businessman Tatsuro Maeda had fashioned for his working girls, that will be the thing to feed out appetites should you all make it worth my owning favours to both a yakuza and a corrupted spy, so be sure to vote! Now Caroline, I’ll throw it back to you as it were. I hope when next we see each other you’ll be a stunning lady in red, if only half dressed. Ha!

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… I knew this gig was too good to be true when I signed on to be hostess, but damn it… How else was I supposed to get in front of the camera at last? I guess I’ll have to do it if it comes up, so… so…

… So the match, huh? Y-Yeah! Let’s focus on the match again! The polls are now open, and you’ve got until Thursday 11st of April at 23:99 GMT, then we’ll draw a line in the… well, water, I guess… And the results will be final! Vote’m while you gott’em. This match most of all could be the one to spin this whole contest in wild way, so make that happen whichever way you most want!

That’s it then. It’s so good to be back, but I’ve got to go again so soon, huh? Time to prep for the next postgame, so while I do that…

Be voting for your babe and beWilder!