Chapter 217: Don’t Worry

Chapter Prescript:

Sorry this one is out late, my PC's hard drive died. Luckily everything is backed up digitally, but its still a pain in the ass.

Anyway, enjoy!

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The low hanging branches of the trees that barred Leif’s path bent and twisted as he walked through the cops of foliage towards where he could sense a familiar vitality signature. It was early in the morning, but the temperature was too warm for frost to have built along leaves, and the many small ferns that made up the undergrowth were unfurled. 

The vegetation around him was like a library of information, he could sense without analysis the age of the trees, and could tell the purpose of the small trails he intermittently crossed. Birds roosted in nests, and small mammals huddled in burrows. There was a marked difference between untamed wilderness and the lands he now travelled through, mostly the lack of high levelled beasts or the occasional monster. 

It was for this reason he wasn’t particularly worried about the safety of the girl who hadn’t returned to their campsite, Lucia was capable in a fight, it was just everything else she tended to struggle with. 

He approached a cave without trying to hide in any way, his footsteps crunching as he stepped on small stones and snapped twigs. He sensed the sleep deprived mind of the being inside stir as she noticed him, but he could tell by the agitation of her life-force that she hadn’t been unconscious. Leif came to a stop and peered into the darkness. The cave was deeper than he had thought.

“Go away.” A subdued voice said, faintly echoing off the jagged stone walls. 

Leif turned, then sat down, his back pressing against a moss covered boulder. A thrown stone rebounded off a wall, then clattered down next to him. He picked it up and studied its shape. It was almost like an arrowhead, though a little too thick and curved. 

“I said go away!”

Another stone smacked into the wall and fell, this one twice as large as the first. Leif tossed the stone he held out into the night, using [Wood Manipulation] to push back a branch, only to release it, making it snap forward and launch the stone skyward. 

“I heard what happened.” He said.

There was a faint sob followed by a third stone. Judging by the fact it didn’t reach the wall, it hadn’t been thrown with much enthusiasm. Leif sighed and leaned back, things had been going so well.

“I fear this is my fault. I’m sorry for bringing up the fact Hera was likely fighting other people. I know you respect her a lot, and that it’s a touchy subject.” 

Lucia didn’t reply for over a minute, but he did hear her shuffle somewhere in the cave. “It’s not… I didn’t even remember you saying that.”

“Ah, alright then.” He said, having to fight not to make his voice reflect the amusement he felt. 

“It’s not funny.” Lucia snapped, indicating that he had failed. 

“No… No, you’re right. Do you want to come outside so we can talk about it?” 

He heard a sniffle, then a few moments later she materialised by his side without a sound. Leif tilted his head and raised a hand, a golden light emanating from the tip of his finger. Lucia had bloodshot, sunken eyes, and there were several lines carved by tears where grime stained her right cheek. She quickly looked away, hugging her arms to her chest. 

“How did you find me? I thought I went far enough away.”

“You did. I’ve been looking for over two hours.”

She sniffed again. “Oh.” 

“But I wasn’t the only one looking. You scared your friends by running off.” Lucia cringed in on herself as she squeezed her eyes shut. “Listen, I know how you feel. I-”

“Stop!” She yelled. “Stop reading my mind! I hate it, I hate how you know everything I feel. I don’t want you to know, so please get out of my head!” She let out a ragged breath, then looked up with tear filled eyes.

“That’s not what I meant. And believe it or not, I know when you don’t want your emotions being sensed. It’s a passive ability, but I’ve been suppressing it ever since I approached the cave.” Leif said, and Lucia shuffled uncomfortably. “Besides, I don’t need magic to tell that you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset.” She insisted. 

“Is that so?”

“I’m angry too.”

“Yeah?” He probed.

“They didn’t understand what I was teaching them! They didn’t get it! I was trying to show them how to fight but they’re not like me, they haven't lived through what I have… They… they probably hate me now.”

“Lucia, that’s not true.”

“How do you know?”

“Because they came to me worried about you.”

“They were probably pretending. They must think I’m crazy.” She started to tremble, her shoulders shaking. “I don’t know how to be normal like they are. I don’t know how to have friends or talk to people because I’m broken. When they laugh I don’t know why, and when they argue I keep thinking that they might lash out at me. I’m broken… I’m broken.” Lucia’s words fell, barely coherent from her mouth as she wept.

Leif reached out with two amber arms and pulled her close. He opened his senses, and what he felt almost broke his heart. Lucia grabbed his robes and howled into his arm, her tears staining his patchwork clothes. 

“I’m broken. I’m broken and I don’t know how to fix it. Without Roy I don’t even feel like a person, he was the only thing that kept me going and now that he’s gone I’m so hollow. Everything has gone so wrong in my life, it’s like I was robbed of my chance at being a real person. I’m broken, Leif. There’s a hole where a person should be, and I don’t know how to fill it.” 

“Time will fill that hole. Life, experiences, sad moments and happy moments. But it takes time to feel like a person again, trust me, I’ve experienced it myself.” He said consolingly.

“But it feels impossible.” She sobbed. 

“It’s extremely difficult, but not impossible. With effort, and more than a little luck, you can make it. When I was younger, the way I coped with loss was getting drafted into a war, and that got me killed. I know what it’s like to live in soul crushing darkness, to feel like the weight of the world is pressing in from all sides, that there’s something so fundamentally wrong with myself that change feels like climbing a sheer cliff. The fact I’m alive, that I’m here, right now, it took an unfathomable amount of luck.”

“It’s just luck? That’s the only thing that can fix me? It’s just a dice roll? That doesn’t seem right. It’s not fair.”

“No, Lucia. Luck is the people you surround yourself with, the environment in which you live and the opportunities you stumble upon. You’ve already gone through hell, rolled the dice again and again and survived against all odds. It may not feel like it at the moment, but this is the home stretch.” Leif pulled away, and she looked up at him with a mix of hope and disbelief. He gently put a hand atop her head and ruffled her dark hair. “You’re on the path to recovery already. You might stumble or fall, make mistakes or get turned around, but I don’t see a future in which you don’t achieve whatever you set your mind to.”

Lucia sniffed and wiped her face with her sleeve. She swallowed, licked her lips, then swallowed again. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I have absolute confidence in you. I know it with such certainty that I know I can rely on you for help should I need it.”

Her lower lip trembled, and a faint smile broke onto her face. “How could I possibly-”

Leif poked her in the forehead. “None of that. You already have.”

“R-right.”

He sighed. “It's not the best timing in the world, but I suspect that I’ll need your help today as well.”

“At the feast?” She asked, clearly confused.

“We’ll see. But I’ve been workshopping plans with Silas, and there’s a more than zero chance the whole thing turns into a disaster. The powerful play games… the politically powerful I should say. We fear that the guilds may try to press-gang several people into… service.”

“Hylon, Cerri and Rou?” Lucia said, her eyes sharpening. 

“Or yourself. We’ll see, but if nothing happens I’ll be surprised. Do you think you’re ready to protect your friends?” Leif said. 

She looked down, then her grip on his robes tightened. “I am… but, what if they…”

“Why don’t you ask them yourself if they still want to be around you? Since you don’t seem to trust my word on the matter.” Even without his power, Leif could see the girl resolve herself to do just that, even though it terrified her. 

“What if I trip and fall?” She whispered. 

“Then I’ll be proud of you for trying, and I’ll help you regain your balance.”

Lucia smiled, even as tears started to flow once again, and she threw her arms around him. She cried silently for several minutes, and he held her until she was ready. “Let’s go.” She said, standing. She fumbled around for a second, then scurried back into the cave, emerging a moment later with her mask. 

“Okay, umm, I’m not sure the way.” Leif scooped Lucia up and placed her onto his back, she clung on for dear life as if unsure what he was doing. “H-huh?”

“You need to rest. Also, you somehow made it all the way out here without shoes, and I’m not going to make you walk back.”

She grumbled, wriggled uncomfortably, then fell asleep within five minutes of them heading off. 

===

Leif didn’t rush, instead he walked slowly and steadily to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally wake the light burden resting on his back. The small forest slowly awoke as dawn approached, but he quieted down any nearby songbird that tried to greet the new day with a gentle application of his aura. A trio of squirrels, thankfully not the exploding variety, played in the branches above, the small creatures scurrying after Leif, chittering excitedly. 

He reflected on the fact that for years, he had been the home for such beings. Time, something he was now acutely aware of, had been almost impossible to notice back when he had none of the senses with which to perceive its passing. His memory was excellent thanks to a combination of a high [Intelligence] attribute and the [Meditations of Eternity] skill. Despite that, the time before he had uprooted himself was vague and dark. 

There had been so little back then that was noteworthy enough to have imprinted itself in his mind, and he was grateful for that. The years of isolated solidarity were an uncomfortable thought in abstract, and Leif didn’t relish the idea of having memories of that time weighing him down. Though, now that he was thinking about it, he did find it amusing that one of his first thoughts after evolving was wanting to go back.

As the first light of day filtered through the canopy he picked up the pace. The Duke’s herald had made a continuous stream of almost threats about people ‘fleeing their duty’, so he didn’t want to jeopardise what was already likely to be a long and difficult day. He passed by a pond, but just as he was about to wake Lucia and get her to clean up, he sensed something large moving under the water. It seemed like some sort of giant turtle, so he continued on.

As he walked into camp, a line of soldiers in the duke’s colours watched him closely, but they were also watching everyone else so he paid them no mind. The sound of voices and the clatter of pots and pans finally made Lucia stir, and she started insisting that he let her down in a panicked voice. 

“How do I look?” She asked, rubbing her eyes. 

“Like you spent a night in a cave.”

“Oh no.”

“Relax, come here.” Leif said, holding out a hand which she quickly took. The puffiness of her eyes and the dark rings under them faded as he healed her, and before long it wasn’t at all obvious that she had run off into the wild. Well, other than all the dirt.

A gaggle of younger kids Leif was passingly familiar with ran by, two girls awkwardly carrying a pot of water following close behind. Leif plucked the pot from their hands, then moved in the direction they told him to take it. Lucia followed in his shadow, using her skills to go largely unnoticed.

Silas was barking orders at his most senior wards as they performed morning exercises in a small clearing off to the side of the camp. Rou looked completely fine, while Cerri and Hylon looked almost as exhausted as Lucia had only moments prior. They perked up when they noticed Leif, but it took them a few seconds to spot Lucia. Leif put down the pot, then pushed Lucia towards the two teens who were being yelled at for stopping early. 

“Good to see you safe and sound.” Silas grumbled as he hobbled over to Leif, having given up on the morning’s training. 

“It was a lovely walk through nature, nothing to complain about.” Leif said, watching with arms crossed as Lucia stumbled over her words, her face slowly going red as she was mobbed by those she had feared would want nothing to do with her. She kept fidgeting with her mask, but seemed hesitant to put it on. 

“This will be trouble.” Silas tutted, indicating in their direction with his chin. 

Leif chuckled and shook his head. “Whatever could you mean?”

Silas laughed, though not loudly enough to attract attention. “Look how smitten mine is with yours.”

It took Leif a moment to realise which young adventurer he was referring to. Judging by what he could sense… He let out a sigh and turned towards Silas. “Which one?”

“What? Obviously… oh hell, this is definitely going to be a problem.” The old man pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Eh, they’ll figure it out.” Leif shrugged. 

“They’re teenagers, there’s not a chance in all the hells.”