Philosophy | My Motivation

Philosophy | My Motivation

If I were a billionaire, I'd probably retire to some tropical island. I'd want to be somewhere on a beach. Nice white sands. Crystal blue waters. Clear skies. Somewhere I can sit in the sand, enjoy some sun, and feel a light breeze against my skin. I'd probably travel, sure. But the place I'd find the most peace is somewhere like that.

While I was sitting around, I'd spend most of my time reading. That's it. I'd just sit there and read. Maybe I'd have a tropical drink to go with my tropical setting. I'd play some video games, too. Watch some TV and movies. It'd be great to catch up on everything. Oh, and I'd take care of my friends and family. Nothing wrong with some good company to go with some good scenery.

I'd have a lot more free time though. I couldn't just sit around all day and read, could I? I could do anything I want. So, what else would I do? Honestly, I'd still keep working on 'A Man For All.'

Hold on a second. Some of you might probably be thinking to yourself, "that's a load of BS. There's no way you would waste your time working on this game when you had all the money in the world." And maybe there's some truth to that. After all, I don't think I could fathom what being an actual billionaire would be like. I'm sure it would be easy to lose motivation when you don't have a care in the world. But if I did have all the free time in the world with no obligations to anything or anyone, I'd still have to give some of that time to this game.

I read every comment on this game. I gauge every opinion. I make mental notes about what everybody thinks about everything from the renders to the animations to the story to the music to the dialogue. One thing that everybody comments on more than anything else are the female characters. That makes sense. After all, we're all here for the ladies and seeing a beautiful lady can be the best reason—maybe the only reason—you'll want to play through a game.

One of the things I've noticed is when I read a comment about how someone doesn't like one of the ladies. They don't like their personality for whatever reason. I wouldn't say it bugs me. I wouldn't even say it disappoints me. I'll admit though, it does feel strange to me. I didn't understand why that was at first. It took me some time but I know the reason why that is. It's because I know these girls better than anybody.

I know their stories. I know their ups and downs. I know their successes and failures. I know what makes them tick. I know their personalities. I know their past. And I even know exactly what their future is. We'd all have different opinions of people if we knew what was going to happen to them. I have a complete picture of them in my head and nobody else does. I know this because it's all in my head and it's not written down. I've gone over it in my head so many times that I've memorized it. Just like you know Superman is from another planet or that Luke Skywalker has a famous father. It's just something I know.

If you peel back all of the layers and strip everything down, these girls are just posable models. Literally. I've seen all of these ladies naked already. That's how they all start. They get hair and makeup. And then they get clothes. That's all great. It's a requirement. I wouldn't blame anybody for stopping there. But... there's more to them than that. They all have a story. A story that hasn't been told.

Now, when their whole story eventually gets told, I'm not saying you'll change your minds about them. If you don't like a character now, you might not like them in the end either. And it goes the other way, too. If you like a character now, you might dislike them in the future. There are no guarantees. There are no promises. I can only say that there is a story and a bigger picture to them all. Right now, they're all an incomplete puzzle.

Working on this game is not amusing. Posing models is tedious. Waiting for images to render is boring. Spending hours rendering an animation only to realize you have to throw it away because of a mistake is frustrating. During the release of the last episode, I was doing my best not to panic because of a potential bug in the code. Seeing typos I miss makes me cringe. The reward isn't the work though. The reward is having the work done. There's no joy in lifting weights. The joy comes from seeing the results after it's done. There's no joy in studying all night for an exam. The joy comes from seeing your perfect grade. And there's nothing more satisfying than seeing an idea I've had in my head for years finally come to fruition. Just to give you some perspective, I'd been planning the fire at the coffee shop before I made a single render. I'd planned something in Episode 6 before I'd even started rendering Episode 1. So, you can imagine what other things in the story I have planned.

Thinking about every girl's story makes me smile. Seeing a long journey come to an end has to be satisfying. It wouldn't be the end of the world if I weren't able to finish their stories. Life happens. Nothing is guaranteed. But it sure would be a big regret for me not to be able to get to the end. Because I need to satisfy my ego. Because I want to share their stories with you all. Maybe most of all, because they deserve to have their happy ending. They're more than just models to me. With every release, it's a nice feeling to see more of their story being told. I guess I sound a little crazy when I say that but that's just how I feel. Maybe it is just my ego talking to me...

I'd love to end up on some tropical island one day where I can live my days staring out at the sunset without a care in the world. I think everybody else deserves that opportunity, too, wherever or whenever it might be. That even goes for characters in a story I made up. It's going to be a long journey for each of them. I want them to make it down the road so they can see their sunset in peace after a long journey. A finished journey. A story told. That's my motivation. Not all of it. But a part of it.

I always try to give you all some insight to those of you who are interested. I thought I'd take this time to share some of my thoughts on what I think about the game as a whole. People make visual novels for different reasons. They're bored. They're a fan of the genre. They're good at it. They want to make some money. I'm sure there are a hundred different reasons. And I'm sure they'd all apply to me in some measure, big or small, better or worse. In this post, I just wanted to let you all know that I do care about the story and the characters, even if all of the other reasons apply to me, too.

Like I've said many times before, I don't know if I'll ever live up to whatever expectations you might have for the story. I hope you'll be satisfied in the end. Thanks for taking part in the journey with me. Let's hope it's as awesome as it can be. Any questions, comments, or concerns, you're always free to leave a message. I'm always trying to listen.

On Episode 7

I've gotten some preliminary coding out of the way. I'm hoping that I'll get the base code done this weekend so that I can start formatting things and begin writing/coding the episode. Animations are always tricky, so I'm not sure when those will be done. There's always less work to do than yesterday. Slow progress is still progress.

I'll be back with a bigger progress update next week.

Thanks for everything, everybody. As always, I'm planning on getting a lot of work done this month. Take care and I'll see you around.