phonelosers

How To Lose Weight The Patterson Way

Added 2017-06-29 19:01:15 +0000 UTC

Since I'm probably the only person on planet Earth with a copy of Frank Patterson's critically acclaimed book, How To Lose Weight The Patterson Way, I've decided to read the entire thing for all of you.

The clips are taken from The Twlight Zone in an episode called Night Call, where some dead guy keeps harassing an old lady over the phone, which is exactly what I plan to do after I die.

It occurred to me after I made this video that half the people watching it will probably have no idea who the hell Frank Patterson is or why they should care about his book. So I will tell you. A couple years ago I started calling up gym customers and telling them that the gym manager, Frank Patterson, was forcing them to buy Frank's self-published book as a requirement for being a member. Customers didn't appreciate this. Here's a link to a few of the calls.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3pb5hRoETs

Here's the website listed in the book: http://www.moldytoaster.com

Here's a copy of the book on Amazon, which you can order for the low low price of $50.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Lose-Weight-Patterson-Way/dp/1501036793/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498760637&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+lose+weight+the+patterson+way

I fully expect YouTube to remove this video for copyright issues. If that happens I'll put it up somewhere else. Or just leave it down forever, because really, who wants to watch this??

The sound quality is kind of awful. I'm using an old condenser tie clip mic, clipped to my shirt, and it sounds like I'm talking through a Metro PCS phone, plus I keep hitting the mic with my book. I won't use this mic again.