Don't Let The Past Pause Your Future

Good Respawn Players...

Of the many adventures we have in games all of them share a common beginning. Hardship. Difficulty. Confusion.

In most we start out weak and barely able to defend ourselves. Not because we're not competent but because we're just starting out. We don't know the rules or the flow. And depending on how new we are it can be disheartening to fail seemingly endlessly.

While videogames are more forgiving in their acceptance of our mistakes...real life can be all together quite cruel.

But if we're being honest many mistakes we make are often a result of our own choices. Choices that were influence by our surroundings...but choices none the less.

And when you're aware...aware of the game you're living in and the rules of it...sometimes the mere realization that I could have made a different choice can be altogether overwhelming.

Have you ever caught yourself ruminating over the narrative branches you've chosen? Unlike videogames there is no save scumming. As much as that would be nice, once we choose we're locked into it and must play the hand we're dealt.

I have, as I'm sure you have, spent countless hours wishing I'd done things differently..."if I would have known what I know now...I'd never have gone down that path". And we can spend so much time thinking about what we did that it stops us from doing what we can do.

We let our past pause our future.

Self compassion is the hardest difficulty setting. It's easy to do self-hate. Especially because many of us believe we deserve it. And it feels good to be able to give someone what we feel they deserve.

Self compassion though challenges us to look at even our worst mistakes and say "that's okay, you were doing the best you could would what you knew and when you know better you'll do better".

Then that self- hate shows up and says "you should have known better".

And the solution isn't fighting it, it isn't ignoring it, and it definitely isn't ruminating on it endlessly...the solution is...

Unconditional positive regard.

Unconditional. Without conditions. As a matter of fact. It just is.

It's appreciation for that self-correcting message and correction for It's harshness through compassion.

I couldn't have known better. Not until I made the mistake.

Today...will you consider taking the hardest difficulty. Will you consider self-compassion? Will you consider going through the discomfort of accepting your choices and the outcome they may have?

With love. While holding space. While being full of grace? I know it's hard...especially when you feel like it let's you off too easy. But you mustn't let your past pause your future. Because your future isn't written...its decided.