first... [blane rekner]

synopsis: first time cuddling.

It's no secret that Blane Rekner does not like touch. Which is why when people find out they're dating you, aside from the obvious reasons why you two should technically make a bad match, their eyes bulge out of their heads and their jaws drop to the floor.

They know. They know they're not very affectionate, that holding your hand is something they only managed to do a week into your relationship and that your first hug consisted of Blane being so stiff that they swore they forgot how to move for a second.

But they're trying.

And you're here beside them on their queen-sized bed, with space between the two of you enough that Blane could reach out if they wanted, but far enough that they're comfortable. They respect that you've left so much room, but sometimes, they wish you pushed a little more. Though it'd terrify them, maybe with a push, they could finally grow into a better significant other.

You'd definitely kill them if you knew they were thinking that.

Blane flicks their eyes to your screen. You're scrolling on Twitter, smiling at a tweet as you give it a like.

"[Name]."

You pause, glancing over with surprise. "Yeah?"

"Can we—" Blane cuts themself off, frowning. They have no idea how to word this. "I mean, can you, um…"

Giving enough time for Blane to back away, you reach out and grab their hand. They enjoy this, the small strokes on their skin. Both your fingers and palms are covered in calluses from work, but it somehow makes the touch more soothing.

"You know whatever it is, you can tell me." Your eyes are earnest, filled with adoration that sometimes, Blane doesn't think they deserve.

Blane blushes. "I know. I just— it's embarrassing."

"Don't you think we're past that stage now?"

You're long past that. They're pretty certain that stage comes before seeing the other person practically dying in front of you, but the two of you have never done anything the conventional way.

They duck their head. Bite their lip. They think about their hand in yours and the way they feel when you kiss. Not like fireworks, like everyone describes them as, but a wave crashing over them—exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. But as long as you know how to ride it, you won't drown.

Blane sucks in a breath. "Can we cuddle?"

You blink slowly. For a horrifying moment, they're worried you'll reject them. But a split second later and your face is breaking into the softest smile they've ever seen, eyes crinkling at the corners and everything.

"Of course. Do you want to lay on me?" You shift your position and open your arms, creating a space for them. "I was just on Twitter, but we can watch YouTube videos together if you want?"

Blane only hesitates for a second before moving closer. They place their head against your chest, hearing your heart beating steadily beneath them. The rhythmic noise calms them down enough to relax their posture, settling into you more comfortably.

"You don't have to change what you're doing," Blane answers. They inhale, nearly smiling at the familiar scent of your lotion. "I'm okay like this."

"Are you sure?"

Your body is warm. Blane's legs are tangled hopelessly with the blankets. One of their arms is splayed around your waist, the other curled beside them. They used to watch movies with people in similar positions, wondering how in the world they were comfortable. Now they understand.

Blane hums in response, pressing their face closer to you. They let their eyes flutter shut as they feel you thread your fingers through their hair. It's a nice feeling. Maybe next time the two of you can try cuddling while sleeping. Maybe spooning.

"Thank you," Blane mumbles.

Though they can't see you, they know you're smiling down fondly. "You don't have to thank me for this. You don't ever have to be scared with me, okay? You know that, right?"

Blane lets out a content sigh. They could fall asleep right here. "I know."