Lunar Phases II Ch 3

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or Naruto. All rights belong exclusively to the current owners, creators, editors, etc., and so forth.

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Antagonizing an Ancient Assailant

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"Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first."

– 'The Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin.

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"Wait, hang on." Carter pinched the bridge of his nose. The past two hours had been without a doubt the longest and strangest two hours of his fifteen year old life. And that was coming from the same magician that had restarted the cycle of Ra's birthday. "The Greco-Roman Pantheon still has Demigods? Like, they keep coming around, and they, uh...erm, they–?"

"Keep procreating with mortals?" The older boy – Naruto, Carter clarified to himself, repeating the strange name in his head; a name that was given very begrudgingly due to 'being raised with manners' by his mother – finished the awkward inquiry with a small smirk. He huffed, maybe a laugh, maybe a dismissal of Carter's 'prudish' take on life. Regardless of what it was, he kept his eyes forward as they walked out of the swamp toward the park's visitor center, where the older boy's pickup truck was parked. "Yes. They do. My girlfriend is one."

It was due to his incredulous amount of self-control that Carter didn't immediately press on that topic. Instead, he was more interested by the subtext implied by the affirmation.

"The way you said that, um..Are you saying that you...aren't?"

"No. I am not a demigod."

Yikes, Carter wasn't the best with reading body language, but you'd have to totally be blind to see the scowl that crossed Naruto's scarf-covered face. That topic was definitely a landmine he had no intention of triggering. Unfortunately, it raised more questions than it answered.

"Then why did, um, that Sun God call you his nephew?"

"I'm adopted."

"...Like, legally or–?"

"As far as I'm aware, yes it's considered legal by mortal standards." He grumbled, then pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't even start."

"Okay! Okay, I won't pry." Carter acquisited, holding his hands up. He furrowed his brow and frowned as the older teen started to pick up the pace once they reached the parking lot. The implications of Naruto's answers meant that while Apollo and presumably, erm – was it Artemis or Selene? The latter was the initial Moon Goddess of Greco-Roman mythology, as far as historians were concerned anyway, and the former was the more well known one. But she was a notable 'man-hater' so Carter doubted the Goddess of the Hunt Artemis, or the Roman's equivalent Diana, was the one to adopt his new companion. He'd just assume it was Selene, for now – his mother saw the older boy as family, the rest of Olympus might not. That was concerning in its own way, now that he thought about it. The Olympians were infamous for their short tempers, and if the teen he was working with was raised by one...that must have been some serious self-control on his end to not flip out after Carter sent the blessed crocodile flying.

That does beg yet another question; what was a Non-Demigod of the Greek Pantheon doing searching for an Egyptian artifact? Carter glanced at the blond again. Taller, tanned, odd markings on his face - did Selene have some kind of boon that required physical representation? - and clad in a white shirt with an outline of a toned male body that had a crescent moon printed in the center of the chest. It almost looked like one of those super hero shirts he'd occasionally see kids around his age wearing, but there was no way a (nearly) grown young man would wear something like that. Well, maybe they would in the States. Carter was exposed to a more intellectual-based culture, and with that came a certain dress code that he rarely ventured out of.

"Preserve me–Kane! Get in the truck!" Oh, whoops, Carter got side tracked again. He grimaced and climbed into the passenger seat, buckling up as soon as he was comfortable. The radio blasted something foul and definitely not suitable to repeat in front of children, before Naruto grumbled and turned the volume down.

After he backed up and peeled out of the lot, a now cowed Carter, who was questioning so many life choices, heard the driver utter an apology.

"J-just try to stay within the speed limit–"

"What? No, that's not what I'm apologizing for." The older boy scoffed. "I wasn't talking to you, Kane."

But he was the only one in the car, unless…Oh, no. The teen beside him must have some kind of mental health disorder.

"I do not. Well, not officially. Shut it, rabbit." Naruto grumbled again. Ah, Carter must have been muttering out loud again. He needed to stop doing that. The blond switched the radio stations about until it started to play static. As they got closer to civilization, it cleared up and the disc jockey on the other end was talking about flying reptiles. Naruto huffed. "Oh, great. More weird things that regular mortals see. Thanks, Khonsu, for all the access to your more than useless magic."

Ah, well. That certainly explained a lot.

"You know Khonsu?" Carter asked, now more than a little wary. The God of the Moon was, pardon his slack decorum for a moment, a total jerk. Not only had he tricked Bes into giving up a good portion of his height but devoured his ren, the name of his soul, leaving him essentially a vegetable. He and Sadie planned to go visit their friend at Sunny Acres sometime in the near future, provided nothing intervened. Anyone that was associated with him was either someone to be cautious of, or someone that needed help.

"Unfortunately." Naruto grunted as he took a sudden left into a side-street. Oh, so he was part of the latter group. "Met him a few years ago and struck a deal with each other, three favors apiece. I've done two for him and he's done two for me. This is his third favor, which means either the gator is important to him or–"

"The situation is somehow his fault." Carter summarized, holding onto the dashboard for dear life. As much as he wanted to respect the driver who was courteous enough to bring him along, the guy drove like a psychopath was on their tail. He gulped and made a few quick glances at the teen in question, his hands tight on the steering wheel and his jaw clenched. "Um, is there a reason we're racing through alleyways?"

Rather than answer, Naruto cranked the volume on his radio. The Disc Jockey on the other end spoke with a laugh.

"Geez, what is in the water these days? We have calls coming in from the Tri-State area about a giant crocodile going wild in a water balloon fight in suburbia off Jaycox. Listen, folks, I know my show gets out there with the 'Recent UFO sightings' and 'Bigfoot Trackers' segments, but at least those are credible. Giant crocodiles? What is this, some kind of prank Crazy Dan didn't hear about?"

"Oh." Carter swallowed again and grunted as the next hard right bounced his head off of the window. "Ow!"

"Sorry." Naruto muttered half-heartedly, Well, at least it wasn't like it was intentional. Still, there was a small part of Carter that was worried he'd die because of the reckless driving of the teenager beside him. How in the world did this guy get his license?!

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Getting closer, I can practically taste the fear in the air. The Fox rumbled as Naruto took another sharp right out of an alleyway into a not so busy street. He could hear the start of a siren behind him.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure that means you, um, have to pull over?" Kane stammered from where he clung to his seat. The skinny kid was getting thrown around, so Naruto wasn't surprised he was so wigged, but his driving was nothing compared to the soul-destroying efforts that a Hunter put into their steering. 'Speed limits were for Mortals', Zoë would say, an ideal that was horrifyingly passed along the rest of his mother's troupe of handmaidens. Still, in this instance, where lives were on the line? Naruto knew what he prioritized.

"Getting a ticket or risk losing the giant monster reptile. Which do you think would be worse?" Naruto asked Kane with a small growl. The magician wisely remained quiet, and Naruto huffed, satisfied that his point was made. He kept his eyes moving, darting along the side roads until he spotted a trio of boys in blue and yellow, coordinating a water-balloon assault on a familiar oversized reptile. It took a couple blinks for him to register what he saw, by that point he was two streets away. Once it clicked, he made a hard, and blatantly illegal, U-turn in order to get back to the street that turned into the cul-de-sac. Kane let out another dramatic groan as he once more bounced off of the window.

"Could you pretend to practice safe driving etiquette?"

"Giant. Rabid. Crocodile!" Naruto snapped taking the left that got them into the street. He slammed his hand on the horn to make the kids filling the road up move, and pushed down on the pedal. "Unbuckle the seatbelt and pop your door."

"Uh, are you going to stop? Or slow down, at least?!" Kane whimpered. He still followed through on the instructions.

"No." Naruto growled as he undid his own seatbelt. His eyes narrowed as he focused on the snarling crocodile. "Tuck and roll, now!"

"This is a bad idea–!"

"Now, before I kick you out!" Naruto snarled.

"I'm doing it, I'm doing it!" Kane groaned and very reluctantly jumped out of the truck. Bad form, too, he was going to bruise or break something that way. Oh well, it wasn't Naruto's fault that Magicians didn't get proper combat training from immortal handmaidens.

Aren't you going to–? Oh, dammit, Brat. Your plan is so absolutely stupid.

"It is not." Naruto huffed as he took one hand off of the wheel and prepared a fistful of crescent shuriken. "It's unorthodox."

I'm not healing you after this is done, you suicidal maniac. The Fox growled.

"Whatever." This was going to work. He hadn't seen any monsters that could tank being hit by motor vehicles going over eighty miles an hour. The reason they could get hurt by such was because Hephaestus and other gods of craftsmanship not so secretly favored the inginuity of mortals when it came to the modern automobile. Sure, hitting the monsters with cars wouldn't kill them outright, but it would slow them down.

Naruto was just going to stress test that durability with his pickup. It had been partially reassembled by Asceplius' helping hand, mostly from holding pieces in place and flipping through manuals at godly speed, so he was banking on some residual divinity being present in the bumpers and grill. And.. maybe he was still a little irked that he was stuck doing a favor for his Egyptian 'patron', when there was already a Magician of said patron's own pantheon already on the scene.

So yeah, maybe Naruto was venting a little, pretending to ram his truck into Khonsu's stupid face rather than a prehistoric creature that weighed five times as much as he did. What? Crocodilians were basically living dinosaurs, and many of them had ridiculously long lives. Another reason he was miffed at Khonsu; that bastard knew Naruto had issues with reptiles.

Looking back with hindsight, it was a really, really dumb idea to drive ninety-two miles per hour into a three-ton, armored semi-aquatic dinosaur. At that moment, however, Naruto didn't care. He really wanted to hit the damn thing with his truck.

At the very last possible second, he lept out and rolled twice before he caught himself on his hands and knees to look at the impact. The heavy and wet thud of metal meeting scaled meat was loud enough to send a tremor through his body. The pickup he spent a good month recreating and restoring with his divine 'cousin' had been turned into a flattened tin can.

The crocodile? It just looked extremely pissed off..and hungry.

So, three tons of prehistoric and likely magically enhanced carnivore wins against a thirty year old recently restored truck made of metal. The Fox snarked. Who could have possibly seen that outcome coming?

"Shut up, stupid Fox." Naruto grumbled and chucked his handful of crescent shuriken at the crocodile. The mystical silver hit its mark and then bounced harmlessly to the ground, all while the raging reptile turned its attention to him. "Aw...Crapbaskets."

Brat, there's a whole lot of malicious intent coming from directly in front of you. Just thought you'd ought to know. The Fox snarked. Again. Seriously, why was it so pissed off at him?! Naruto thought they had hashed all of this out last December! He sent wordless question the Fox's way and got a scoff. It's the situations you put yourself in that are irritating, Brat. Then you go and forget you have a brain until it best suits you. Your mother would be ashamed.

"That last bit is uncalled for." Naruto growled as he threw himself out of the way of a pair of snapping jaws. "If you have any ideas, I'm all–!"

You can make clones, Dumbass.

…Right. He could do that. Utilizing those tactics would probably get him noticed by mortal eyes, though. Evident by how he dealt with those mercenaries last month. That might draw even more unwanted divine attention unto him, like say from a certain God King that wanted him obliterated on principle because he was dating the aforementioned god's Half-Blooded daughter. Oh, and because that same king was paranoid as all Hell, and Naruto had interacted with basically every pantheon worth a damn. Hasn't met any Mesopotamians, though, or any representatives of the current Trini–No, wait. There was that one time while traversing the Appalachian Mountains when he was sixteen.

That was almost as bad as the time that Alf had him signed up to be a Rodeo Clown…Naruto might want to repress that memory again. All the wheels and eyes and fire...Yeah, repressing that memory again would be for the best.

Brat, that– what in the actual fu–?! Ah, a bewildered irritated Fox snarl, that's new.

"Not now, Fox!" He growled, jumping up and kicking off of the reptile's snout after another attempted snap of teeth. He landed a distance away and caught sight of the other boy with him. "Kane! You're a Magician, aren't you?! Do some magic!"

"But last time, you–?"

"Try not to knock it into the stratosphere!"

"Okay.." Geez, this kid needed some self-confidence boosts. Which was a little odd, given that he was a freaking Magician of the Egyptian pantheon for crying out loud! Those people tended to be confident out the wazoo..or was that considered arrogance? Hm, maybe it was for the best that Kane wasn't full of himself.

Incoming teeth, one-forty-five!

"Thanks!" Naruto grunted as he jumped back again, only for the beast to whirl its open maw at him in the air. Dang, for a giant dinosaur, this crocodile could really move!

"Khe-fa!" Another ethereal fist drilled into the reptile's face from the side. Surprisingly, it wasn't sent flying, probably because it was braced for more impact after the first hit and then the truck assault. What? Reptilian though it might be, it was still obviously mystically enhanced. The necklace it bore certainly proved that.

Wait a minute.

"The necklace–Kane, I have an idea!" Naruto shouted before being forced to jump aside from another snap of the raging reptile's teeth. Blue eyes narrowed as he glared at it. "Do you mind?!"

Probably not, it is a Sage-damned dinosaur. The Fox's cheek was so unbelievably unwelcome right now! You know how you can save energy? By distracting it.

What does it look like I'm doing–?!

With clones.

"Right." Naruto groaned. He always forgot he could do that now. Eighteen plus years of habit of either fighting monsters alone or with a small group of external, not to mention separate, individuals was a hard thing to kick. He jumped off the crocodile's head again to land behind it, keeping its attention on him as he crossed his index and middle fingers. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

"What in the gods' names–?!" Kane asked upon seeing him summon a cloud of smoke and then sending a good half-dozen duplicates to jump around and irritate the croc. Naruto rushed back to Kane's side, his sudden arrival snapped the boy from his agape stare. "How did–? What was–?! Are you a Magician–?!"

"Hell no." Naruto snorted and nodded at the clones. "Learned that from my dad. Anyway, the necklace its wearing. Did you see it?"

"Learned from your da–How?!"

"We went hunting together. Once." Still his least favorite hunting trip. Ever. Mostly because that deranged Jiangshi was a prick with some weird chip on his shoulder. "Not important. Focus. The necklace."

"I disagree. I think it's very important–!"

"Kane!" Naruto snarled and pointed at the crocodile as it latched onto one of his clone's legs. Side note: ow, that wasn't a lethal attack but the attempted death roll that ended once the clone dispersed certainly was. "It's got a necklace on! Does it look like anything you'd recognize?!"

"I–um." Kane corrected himself as he realized Naruto was serious about not explaining further on his cloning ability. "I uh, right, the necklace is more important. It um, it could be a relic infused with the power of Sobek. That would make the crocodile a petsuchos."

"'Pet nachos'?" Naruto repeated, an incredulous snurk slipped from his lips. Kane frowned at him, a genuine look of disappointment, and reluctantly, he murmured an apology. "Sorry."

"A petsuchos was the Egyptian representative of Sobek. A divine mascot. Some even thought it was–"

"A child?" Naruto repeated dryly. Kane nodded. He sighed. "Great. Fighting Demigods. Not something I'm experienced at."

Boston. The Fox countered. Naruto rolled his eyes.

That doesn't count and you know it. They were basically immortal and killable, he thought. This one is not killable.

"It could all just be the necklace.." Kane mumbled. "Maybe if we remove that–"

"It'll revert to normal?"

"We can hope." Kane shrugged. "If you can distract it long enough, I can manage a spell to retrieve it."

"How long do you need?"

"Five minutes, give or take. I have to make sure I get the incantation right." Kane mumbled, pulling out a small leather bound notebook from his satchel-like pack.

"I can manage five minutes." Naruto nodded as he turned back to the crocodile as it dispatched his last clone. He made several more and dove into the fray with them. As he irritated and distracted the colossal - if not possibly divine - reptile with ineffective cuts, punches and kicks, he wondered how his girlfriend's raid was going.

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