Reading Lunar Phases ch 7

Disclaimer: Don’t own PJO or Naruto.

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“‘Metal Health’.” Leo blinked. “Isn’t that a song?”

“Bang your head!” Apollo crowed. His head snapped back as something smacked into his face. “OW!”

“Artemis, why on Olympus would you do such a thing?!” Hestia asked, horrified.

“His head was harder than mine, and the music compelled me to hit something.” Artemis mused as she examined the silver platter she smacked her twin with. An indent of his grinning face was seen to all. She gave her twin a deadpan stare. “Really?”

“I am amazing and my amazingness will be immortalized.”

“You are immortal.”

“For how long though?”

“That depends on whether we get through this work of fiction or not.” Zeus grumbled. “Keep reading, Leo Valdez.”

Perseverance.

A trait humans have had since the end of the Golden Age. Often it was associated with heroes, both of grand names and of small renown. This trait, and the acknowledgement of it, is one of a few that kept man atop the food chain as the apex predator. When life challenged them, they pressed onward. With perseverance, even the most mundane of mortals were capable of becoming legends.

“Hugh Mann. Bravest cashier clerk.” Hermes nodded.

“That’s a terrible film premise.” Apollo scoffed. He waited a beat then added lowly. “Cult classic in ten years.”

March 17th, 2008

“Ah, St. Patrick’s Day.” Apollo grinned. “So many good times. So many good rhymes!”

“If you spout one limerick, so help me.” Artemis grumbled, rubbing her head.

“Such a marvelous day…” Dionysus sighed wistfully.

“The mortals intoxicate themselves with cheap beer.” Hades drawled.

“Wh…Why!?”

“It’s seasonal!” Ares chuckled. “So many brawls! It’s awesome!”

The hallways of Eleanor Roosevelt High were bustling and bumping with green decor all around. During the break between classes, many students were talking about plans for the festive evening. Parties where underage consumption would be the norm were particularly waved.

“Now, see here, I’ve been forcibly sober for twenty-five years!” Dionysus snapped at the goddesses that started glaring at him. “If you wish to blame anyone, blame the King!”

“You disobeyed a direct order.” Zeus drawled. He drummed his fingers on his throne. “Need I return those revoked years of punishment?”

“...You’re a shrewd King, Zeus. Harsh, but fair.” Dionysus grumbled.

Those seeking to climb the social hierarchy set about gathering others to join them in these mischievous acts.

One such boy with this desire was Jeremy Higgensworth.

“I’m sorry.” Reyna closed her eyes and held a hand up. “Higgensworth?”

“It’s what it says.” Leo snorted. “Ten bucks says this guy is like Hugh Mann.”

“Hey, don’t laugh. He’s about to get a bio-epic.” Hermes warned.

He was a decent looking boy — straight teeth, grey eyes, and shaggy dark hair that was all the rage — fit from his time as off-guard for ERHs basketball team, but lacked the social clout most of his fellow teammates had. Reason being? He was dumped by his girlfriend Jessica when caught making out with another girl at Dylan Matthews’ party last month. That the other girl happened to be her younger sister might’ve played a part in his ruined reputation.

Regardless, he had a plan. He’d bring the new girl with him to Michael Howard’s party, make Jessica jealous, have them start a feud and slip out from under the scope of the whole social lens as the ‘innocent bystander’. His target was switching her books out of her locker, about to head to her physics class. With a knowing look to his best bud Brandon Poumpafus,

“These names!” Leo guffawed. “Oh, man, please tell me I’m at this school in this timeline!”

“Doubt it, son.” Hephaestus sighed.

he walked over and leaned on the lockers beside her.

“Hey, Thals, got any plans tonight?”

Her locker slammed shut, she turned to face him, and Jeremy put on his winning smile.

All according to plan.

“This dude is dead.” Nico snickered as Leo turned the page. He sat back with arms crossed. “I can’t wait to see how it goes down.”

“Electrocution.” Percy snorted.

“Too quick.” Thalia seethed, grinding her teeth.

Thalia Grace would be lying if she said that she didn’t have any regrets. Not spending another day or more looking for Jason after That Woman did the Unspeakable Thing topped the list, obviously, but there were more. She regretted kicking Luke off of the cliff, causing his demise and permanently putting an end to their friendship. She regretted electrocuting her cousin after that game of Capture The Flag (even though he kind of asked for it). And, honestly, she regretted making Whiskers renegotiate his arrangement with an Egyptian God.

Partially because it indirectly resulted in his banishment from Olympus and Camp Half-Blood, and partially because it meant a certain goddess who shan’t be named kept sporadically pestering her with her unwanted opinions and presence.

“You should feel honored!” Aphrodite huffed.

“So utterly not.” Thalia deadpanned.

Mostly, though, Thalia regretted the deal because she wasn’t warned by anyone how badly junior year of High School sucked.

“Really? You couldn’t figure that out before it happened?” Percy asked, arching a brow.

“Hey, I was either on the road, fighting monsters, or a tree!” Thalia snapped.

At first, she thought it was a good deal. Rather than three years she’d have to suffer in the boring reality that was the education system of America, she was only one academic year away from being free of her responsibilities, from just telling the world to screw off while she focused on more important things.

“Like what?” Annabeth asked.

“Not being in school.” Thalia shrugged. “Going to concerts. Killing monsters. Ooh, killing monsters at concerts…”

“That’s not happening.” Artemis deadpanned. Thalia groaned in dismay.

“You’re such a buzzkill, Sis.” Apollo snorted.

Seemed like a win, but then the annoyances started piling up on her.

There was a whole year’s worth of material she was behind on. How she got into Calc 2 she had no idea, but her grades were slipping and fast. If she flunked her classes because of her sudden age leap, she was going to hunt Whiskers’s sandy friend down and kick his ass. She would’ve done so in the first place, were it not for the fact that Thalia was ninety-five percent certain that Aphrodite caused this mess to happen herself, if only to get her enrolled in a public coed school.

Why was she so sure? Well, on top of her struggling academic performance, boys began pestering her. The first guy to ask her out was kind of cute, shy, sweet, and maybe would’ve had a chance for a second date if he hadn’t started falsely boasting to his friends how they got “nasty in the bathroom stalls” literally the next day at lunch.

“I don’t know what’s more surprising,” Piper said, crossing her arms. “That Thalia actually went on a date with a guy that wasn’t Naruto, or that she would’ve given him a second chance if he didn’t prove all the stereotypes about high school boys right.”

“The first one, definitely.” Jason deadpanned.

“...Literally, the day after? What is wrong with boys?” Thalia mumbled, frowning.

“Peer pressure. Hormones. Natural stupidity.” Hermes listed off of his fingers. He shrugged. “Take your pick.”

“It’s all on account of the last one.” Artemis deadpanned. He snorted.

“You’re biased.”

After she’d accidentally dumped her lunch tray over the back of the “ladies’ man’s” head, she decided to focus on her studies. It was just one year, surely she could manage it.

Then Saint Valentine decided to have a holiday, the inconsiderate jerk. Fed up with the constant attention and callous words from others who weren’t interested in dating her, Thalia called off the day before the dance, and spent the night off in the studio apartment that had been acquired for her by some guy named George Papadopoulos. She was positive it was another god’s terrible alias, but for the life of her wasn’t sure which.

Now, after three weeks of reprieve from annoyances, another waited until the day of a holiday to make his attempt. And it was a Monday, so she couldn’t skip. Well, she could, but she really needed to ask Mr. Birch questions about her physics homework. Stupid academic requirements, why couldn’t Chiron just push for higher monster kills?

“Ugh, I know, right?” Percy groaned. “‘You could do better if you applied yourself, Percy.’ ‘Just think of what your father would do, Percy’ Yeah, well, Dad doesn’t have dyslexia! …No offense, Dad.”

“None taken.” Poseidon chuckled at his son’s grousing.

“Go. Away. Jeremy.” 

“Aw, but c’mon, Thals—”

Electric blue eyes glared at the boy.

“Don’t call me ‘Thals’.”

“Is that a trigger?” Hazel asked.

“Call me ‘Thals’ and find out.” Thalia warned, scowling.

“Hey, I was just asking. Not jabbing.”

“I’ll jab her.” Nico offered, raising a hand. “Need to get my sword first.”

“Nico.” Hazel frowned at him.

“Fine, fine…I was mostly joking anyway.”

Jeremy was brain damaged. That had to be the only reason he was still standing there with a stupid grin on his face.

“But I can call you?”

Oh, my. Cute and has a good turnaround. You should consider giving him a chance. Aphrodite advised. Thalia closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’m about to call you an ambulance.

“Zing.” Frank snorted.

Leave me alone,” She said one last time before turning to leave. This guy wasn’t worth the effort. He grabbed her arm and she almost socked him.

“Hear me out, Grace–”

Oh, and he was doing so well. Aphrodite sighed.

Thalia turned and drove her fist into his face. Jeremy’s head whipped back and he dropped. The halls went quiet. She felt heat creep up the back of her neck when all eyes fell on her. Why were they staring? Was it because she knocked him flat? What did they expect her to do, just take it?! He was harassing her! Why were they looking at her like that?!

“Whoa, that’s some social anxiety.” Apollo mumbled.

“I don’t have social anxiety.” Thalia frowned.

“You’re also never going to be older than fifteen.”

“Doomed forever to ride in the car seat.” A voice down the line added with a snort.

“Your death will be told of for generations.” Thalia scowled at the snickering son of Hades.

“What are you looking at?!” Thalia snapped. The students who wanted no part of it, turned and left. Whispers filled the briefly silent halls as she walked away with her head down, trying not to meet any of their eyes.

Gods, public High School sucked.

“Big time.” “Yep.” “Oh lordy, you know it.” “I dunno, I liked school.”

Eyes turned to Annabeth as if she was a freak. 

March 18th, 2008

Deep in the forested lands outside of Colorado Springs, Ivan Moody’s vocals rang out of a dark blue Jeep Wrangler traversing the backroad that cut through the wood.

“‘The Bleeding’! Great breakup track.” Apollo nodded. Aphrodite gasped excitedly.

“Who’s the artist?” She asked.

“Five Finger Death Punch.”

The Olympians, and demigods, looked at the god of music with wide eyes.

“...That is not a real band name.” Ares gaped. “I would’ve heard about them by now!”

“I’m surprised you haven’t. They’re supportive of the troops and have a very large following. Shoot, they’re all even trained as various first responders.” Apollo shrugged. “They’re a metal band, too, so…what rock have you been living under?”

“...But…breakup...metal?” Aphrodite pursed her lips. “Did I approve this?”

“Metal is an extremely emotional genre. Aggressive, sure, but most of the ‘loudest’ emotions are.” Apollo shrugged. “It’s a vent, a coping mechanism. Personally, I lean more toward easy rock or classical lute, but working on the Valdezinator has had me broadening my horizons.”

When it came to a stop, the music cut out with the engine and the quiet of the land reclaimed its domain. A whiskered blond teen wearing jeans and a dark coat with a grey hoodie got out of the Jeep with a sigh.

“Didn’t he diss muscle cars for their gas mileage?” Hephaestus asked.

“Yep.” Leo snorted. “Dude’s a hypocrite.”

“As every man.” Artemis nodded. 

“So your son is doomed to become like them, is that what you’re saying?” Aphrodite smirked.

“...Stop putting words in my mouth.” Artemis scowled.

He turned around to gather the brown bags out of the back, before making his way up a dirt path toward a concealed wooden lodge. As he walked, he took in the surrounding wood and felt a warm peace about him.

Colorado was, arguably, one of the most beautiful states Naruto had ever been in. Some of his favorite childhood memories took place here. The naming of his mother’s wolf packs when he was four was one such memory. He’d been presented to the then alpha couple, reminded of the pups’ and his own safety, before being loosed upon the half-dozen pups that were as eager to play as he was.

“I want to see that.” Hazel gushed. “That sounds adorable.”

“Oh my gods. Percy, do you know what this means?” Annabeth grabbed Percy’s arm. “There’s going to be puppies!”

“Wise Girl, I’m happy for you, but you’re hurting me. Please let go.”

It became a yearly tradition for him to name the new arrivals to the pack with his mother and sisters, until his departure from the Hunt came about.

Thankfully, despite his time away, he found this treasured memory was not retained by just himself. Barking greeted him once he passed a pair of cypress trees, and a large grey wolf trotted up to him.

“Yes! Puppies!” Annabeth beamed.

“Ehh, careful what you wish for, Annie.” Thalia wobbled her hand. “Lady Artemis’ wolves are wild animal–”

“Thalia, all due respect, shut up. There’s puppies.”

It broke into a full sprint, nearly bowling him over.

“Get down. Hey, I said, get down, Akela!”

“Akela…that’s a good name.” Artemis hummed.

Despite himself, Naruto chuckled as he gently nudged the happy older she-wolf out of his way once he got close enough to the lodge. She barked and whined, bouncing and bumping around him while the rest of her pack cautiously watched. He cracked a half-grin at her and shifted one of the grocery bags in his hand to the other, stopping where he stood to dig around in one. “I know what you want, Akela. Hush, shh-shh. Hold on.”

After another moment he pulled out her prize, and she backed away, eyeing the ivory treat he held eagerly. Her gaze flicked between his eyes and the goods, settling on the latter. She licked her chops.

“Sho cute!” Annabeth gushed.

“...She doesn’t always do this with dogs, does she?” Thalia asked, having never seen this side of her friend before.

“Like I’ve said before,” Percy sighed. “Whenever Mrs. O’Leary’s with us, I get sidelined.”

“Dog blocked.” Leo nodded sagely. 

“Yeah, this is for you. C’mere girl,” Naruto offered the large rawhide to her. She latched onto it and tugged, but he held firm. “Nah, ah-ah! What’s the rule? On three. One…two…”

“Is...Is he trying to train her?” Artemis frowned.

“Could be.” Apollo shrugged.

“She’s the Alpha Wolf.” Artemis huffed. “He shouldn’t try to break her.”

“Well, it’s been established that they have history…before you banished him!” Apollo gasped. “It’s the Hachikō expy!”

“...The what?” Artemis asked.

“You don’t know–Okay, get some tissues and listen up. Hachikō, which roughly translates to ‘Mr. Eight’,” Apollo gave his twin a pointed look. “Was a loyal Akita dog who continued to wait in a specific spot for his owner to arrive for over nine years…after the man died.” 

“...That just hurts my heart.” Frank sniffled. Hazel rubbed his arm.

Annabeth had already started blowing into tissues.

“Right?!” Apollo gestured at the boy before looking at his twin again. “Akela, maybe even the rest of her litter, clearly bonded with Lil Nephew! They remember him on a subconscious level. …Or you implanted it.”

“I would never!” Artemis snapped.

“Okay, okay...just sayin.”

Akela whined and jerked her head. It nearly toppled the teen, but he adjusted his footing in time to keep from falling.

“Hey, hey!” Naruto gave the wolf a firm stare. She growled and he narrowed his eyes. “No. On three. One... Two…”

Akela whined again, but this time didn’t jerk her head. Golden wild eyes stared into his firm blue.

“…Three!” He let go and she shot off, snarling and whipping her head around while her pack mates rushed after her and her prize. Naruto chuckled, readjusting his bags as he strolled into the lodge. “Crazy girl. Seven years old, still acting like a pup.”

Stupid mutt almost made us lose our food. The Fox grumbled.

“And thus almost became the food.” Ares nodded.

“Dogs aren’t that great.” Thalia muttered and Annabeth looked at her in horror. She rolled her eyes. “It was before I met you, Annie. Street survival was rough and I was hungry.”

The blond snorted, dropping one bag onto the island table that protruded from the wall. It toppled and spilled out several instant ramen cups that fell to the ground.

“Gods…” Naruto grumbled, annoyed, before reaching down to pick them up. He set them back on the counter, before unloading the rest of the brown paper bag of its similar contents. He folded the bag up and set it aside before unloading the other, this one filled with more rawhides, bones, packages of beef jerky, a few apples, bananas, and a handful of vegetables. While the perishables were put in the freezer, the clack of claws on wood made Naruto look behind him.

A wolf with deep black fur and striking blue eyes stared at him from the front hall.

“...Oh, it’s so pretty.” Annabeth squirmed. “I wanna hug it!”

“I don’t recall having a breed with that coat.” Artemis frowned (read: pouted).

“Alternate universe, sis.” Apollo shrugged when she looked at him.

“Bruno, hey,” Naruto held his hand out. The beta eyed it before walking forward and pushing his head into it. Naruto gently scratched his head and ear. “What’s up, bud? Akela fight the others off already?”

Bruno’s dark nose sniffed at his face and pushed up to hook his arm over the wolf’s neck. Naruto turned away with a laugh when it started licking at his face. 

“Oh, that’s charming.” Hestia smiled. She loved seeing mortals with their pets. It was a common homely image.

“Okay, okay! Yes, you’re a good boy!” He gently pushed the large wolf back, shut the fridge and got to his feet, going to the table and pushing the ramen aside. He pulled another rawhide to the center of the table and looked at the wolf. He patted the wood surface. “Alright, Bruno. Come get it.”

Bruno cocked his head, nostrils flaring, and growled. Naruto gave him a lamented sigh.

“C’mon, bud. Get the treat.” He patted the wood again. Bruno’s ears twitched at the key word, and a growl stretched out before he barked. “Don’t give me that attitude, Bruno. You know the deal.”

Bruno growled again and sneezed before staring at him with his piercing eyes.

He’s not going to get it. He’s too dumb. 

“They can learn!” 

“Annabeth, easy! Easy!” Percy said, holding his girlfriend. 

Naruto sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Look, Fox, I know you’ve got an issue with this arrangement, but this is important to me, okay? Please, just butt out.”

Fine. He’s still dumb, though.

“Kurama, no. Bad. I will get the squirt bottle!”

“Wise Girl, he can’t hear you.”

“Percy, shut up. I’m dog training.”

Naruto sighed and drummed his fingers on the table while looking at Bruno, who was basically glaring at him. Give me the treat, human, his eyes said. Unfortunately, that’s not how this could go.

“C’mon, Bruno. It’s right here on the table–whoa!” Naruto jerked back as Bruno suddenly stood on his hind legs, his forelimbs braced on the table. His muzzle lashed out and snatched the rawhide before he scampered out of the lodge triumphantly. He huffed and tapped his finger on the table before running his hand over his face. “Well, he got it. Now I just need to figure out what word he reacted to.”

“Wildlife Biologist.” Athena nodded. “He’s studying the pack’s canine behavior to see how diluted the original genetic memory of wolves of old have become.”

“Or, you know, he’s just playing with the puppers.” Apollo suggested, before cringing at the daughter of Athena’s jealous whine.

“Nonsense. That would be a waste of time.” Athena rolled her eyes.

“...Wait, Lady Artemis, don’t you have us ‘test’ the packs by throwing sticks and burying rabbit legs–?”

“Thalia, your job as Lieutenant is not to question my hunting methods.” Artemis interjected, a mild hint of panic in her voice.

Saving that puzzle for later, Naruto tucked the rest of the treats into a locked cupboard and then went to the sitting room, stepping around a few other canine lodge inhabitants to get to the couch. He grabbed the sound system remote that his uncle had installed and clicked it on, making sure the volume remained low. 

Metallica’s Black Album became a manageable chaos to break the quiet as he grabbed his GED study guide and a notebook from their place on the coffee table.

“...Hold on.” Athena pinched the bridge of her nose. “His...his what study guide?”

“GED.” Leo nodded. “Smart move.”

“But how’s he going to get into a reputable college with a GED?” Annabeth asked, frowning.

The pencil acting as a bookmark helped him get back to the section he was working on. Social Studies. His least favorite subject.

Don’t knock historical knowledge, brat. The Fox huffed. It could save your life. 

“Kurama knows what’s up.” Piper nodded.

Naruto rolled his eyes and then groaned as he reread the line The Fox had distracted him from. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t even be bothering with this, but he was trying to live a normal life at his mother’s request. He’d only agreed because even he saw how the last few years had been taking their toll on his mental state, evidenced by how he broke down after escaping Valhalla. Alas, mortal society wanted him to have at least some proof of a basic education before he could get involved with conservation organizations, so he was determined to acquire it.

Just as “Enter Sandman” came to a close, Naruto finally finished the portion he was on. A depression of the cushion at his left told him he’d been accompanied on the couch, and before he could protest, the Alpha grey wolf nosed herself under his arm and her head plopped on his notebook. Big golden eyes stared up at him imploringly and a whine pierced the air.

“Ohh, so cute.” Annabeth whispered.

“...So, how many dogs do you think you’re getting, Percy?” Jason asked, smirking.

“We have to find an apartment first.” Percy muttered. His eyes widened and he slowly turned to look at his father. “Hey, Dad…”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Poseidon sighed.

“Akela.” Naruto sighed. He scratched at her neck, causing the Alpha to roll on her side and look up at him. Dutifully, his scratching moved down to her ribcage and he smiled at her happy woo. He laughed outright when she playfully nipped at his chin. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Studying for my GED is overrated. You wanna go for a hike? Huh?”

Athena casted a judging glance at Artemis, who avoided the look. 

“Studying is overrated?”

“Apollo must’ve taught him that.”

“Hey, whoa. Hold up there, miss high horses.” Apollo crossed his arms. “I’m not the one that’s known for running around in the forest all day.”

Akela darted off the couch and disturbed her slumbering pregnant pack mates, turning back to bark at him when she realized he’d yet to move.

“...Percy, you know how it’s almost my birthday–”

“Yeah, fine!” Percy groaned into his hand. “I’ll ask Paul to look into adoptions for us online.”

Annabeth giggled gleefully and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m coming, I’m coming. Geez.” Naruto chuckled, gathering his study guide back up and setting it back on the table.

“Where it would remain for the rest of time.” Jason chuckled.

“That’s not funny.” Annabeth and Athena deadpanned.

May 30th, 2008

“Summer school. They want me to go to summer school.” Thalia grumbled.

“Never.” Thalia growled.

She was sitting in the stands of the arena, watching the returning Half-Bloods cut their teeth on the newcomers in the pit below her, and overseeing the new teaching skills of the swordmaster Chiron had hired. It was cathartic in a way that it really shouldn’t have been.

“I mean, looking at your grades, I’m not surprised.” Annabeth Chase said from her seat beside her. In her hands was Thalia’s final report card and a letter of concern addressed to the parent/guardian. She winced as she read through it. “Yikes, Thalia. Three Cs, a B and an F? What happened?”

“Yikes!” Annabeth winced.

“I dunno, I just–I had a lot on my mind, I guess. Last winter really messed with me. Gods...One more year.” Thalia groaned, rubbing her face. “It was just supposed to be one more year!”

“It would’ve been one if you didn’t break …five guys’ noses on school property,” Annabeth said, sounding surprised by the amount. 

“Only five? Lame.” Thalia huffed out. 

“Well, they specified noses on school property. And guys aren’t as stupid as you like to think.” Nico deadpanned. “When word spreads of a pissy girl who breaks faces, you tend to avoid her.”

“Thalia, I’ve misjudged you.” Percy put a hand on her shoulder. “I thought I was the only social outcast among us. Thank you for proving me wrong.” 

“Move your hand before you lose your hand, Kelp Head.”

Thalia grunted in dismissal and flatly glowered at her friend. She gave Thalia a look of disapproval in return. “Well, you could have just gone back to school with me.”

“Annie–”

“Raggedy-Anne?” Ares supplied with a crooked grin. 

“Absolutely not.” Athena snapped, glaring at him. “Or shall we call your favored daughter Clarice?”

“...I don’t like it, but I respect that low move.” 

Athena let out a frustrated snarl.

“Please, stop calling me that.”

“Annie.” Thalia reiterated with a smirk, making the younger girl groan. She dropped her smirk and glared down at the arena. “Two things. One, I would’ve gone back but a certain someone from Olympus enrolled me in Eleanor Roosevelt High. So, you know how that goes.”

“Yes, do as I say, Thalia Grace.” Aphrodite smiled. “And you shall be greatly rewarded.”

“Lies. It’s all lies, Thalia.” Artemis drawled.

“I figured as much.” Thalia shrugged.

“Point taken.” Annabeth nodded sympathetically. “And the second?”

“Those jerks had it coming!” Thalia threw her arms up. “They just kept bothering me and wouldn’t take no for an answer!”

“...Only five?”

“We did see you lay one out flat.” 

“Including the guy that was holding the sandbag for you?”

“How did you know––Oh, no, don’t tell me they got a video of that?”

“It went viral.” Annabeth gave her an apologetic shrug.

“Ugh, that one was the only accident!” Thalia groaned and slumped back in her seat. She rubbed her face. “No wonder I was suspended that week. I still can’t believe I have to retake a whole year!”

“Honestly, I think that it’s a miracle you weren’t expelled.”

“Preach.” Percy agreed. 

“Gee, thanks, Annie.” Thalia glowered at her friend for a good minute before hanging her head. “Should’ve just let the gods atomize me.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Annabeth rolled her eyes.

“Gets it from the God of Theater.”

“You’re such a comedian, Poseidon. Would you like to take the domain of Jester?” Zeus asked with a glare.

“No, you should save that for when another demigod comes along that makes you prance about like a peacock.”

“Watch yourself, Brother.” Hera warned.

She straightened the papers up and held them out. “You gave public school a shot, just get re-enrolled with me. We’ll be in the same grade and I’ll get you back up to speed.”

“Great in theory, except for the fact that Aphrodite is out to get me.” Thalia scowled as she snatched her papers back. Seeing the F on her Physics grade made her blood boil. Her eyes flashed and lightning danced up her arm, igniting the papers in her hand. She let out a satisfied huff.

“Feel better?”

“Not really.” Thalia slumped over to lean on Annabeth. “Another year, Annie. How am I going to survive another year of school?”

“Sucks for her.” Thalia snorted. “Should’ve gone with the Hunter option.”

“How’s those lonely hand nights working out for you?” Nico drawled. Piper snorted and covered her mouth before looking away.

“Jason, choose. Your cousin who came out of the closet to you, or your girlfriend.” Thalia deadpanned.

“...Third option!” Jason snapped his fingers. “Leo, buddy. Read. Now.”

“You got it, bro!”

“You could always try to get a GED,” the blonde said. She tilted her head. “But that might make college harder to get into.”

“A what?” Thalia sat up, looking at her pointedly.

“A GED? The certificate you receive for the General Education Development test?” Annabeth explained. “Thalia, how have you not heard about a GED?”

“Are you telling me there’s an option where I don’t have to go to school?”

“...Wait, that’s a thing?!” Percy gaped.

“Seaweed Brain, you’re graduating high school with me.” Annabeth deadpanned.

“Yeah, but...I could’ve not!”

“Percy.”

“I…But…So much stress could’ve been avoided!” 

“Yes, but–Thalia, no.”

“Thalia, yes!”

“Athena, stop looking at me with disappointment.” Zeus grumbled at his glaring daughter of wisdom.

“Yes,” Hera said dryly. “For all we know Thalia Grace could get that from the other side of the family.”

Thalia took a deep breath and rolled her neck. She was going to ignore that exchange even happened.

“Look, a GED might get you into college, but–”

“College-smollage. I can be done with school!” Thalia grinned.

“That triggers me on so many levels.” Annabeth deadpanned.

She threw her arm over Annabeth’s shoulder. “You’re the best, Annie. How can I repay you?”

“Going back to school?”

“And you’re funny. Boy, Percy’s got no idea what he’s in for, does he?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. When’s the last time you two talked? Last winter? Spring break?”

“A couple of days ago–Wait, that’s not the point here.”

“I disagree!” Thalia grinned. She’d successfully changed the subject and could now weed her best friend’s plans for her kelp headed cousin out of her. Life was always better at camp.

If only it didn’t feel like something was missing.

“She isn’t the only one wanting a bone, huh?” Hermes chuckled.

“Low. Hanging. Fruit.” Dionysus drawled. He cracked open a diet coke. “And I would know.”

June 27th, 2008

Jeremy Higgensworth was not having a great start to his summer.

“Oh, look, it’s the punching bag with the terrible name.” Reyna smirked. “I eagerly await his next embarrassment.”

His junior year had ended on a low note long after Grace had broken his nose, but then he’d heard her year hadn’t ended well either. He’d eventually found another girl, Erika, to ask out and they’d gotten on pretty well. They went to a few parties together and had great makeout sessions early in June.

“...How does he know?” Thalia frowned.

“Well, she kept going back.” Percy pointed out. He nodded at Annabeth. “When we were making out on the Argo–Ow!”

“Ix-nay on the issing-kay in the ables-stay, Seaweed Brain.” Annabeth hissed.

“...I understand Ancient Greek, not Pig Latin.”

Unfortunately, before he could seal the deal with her, his parents decided to take him out of New York for the summer, away from his friends and basketball, to stupid nowheres-ville Colorado where there was nothing but trees, hicks, snow and bugs.

His father, Lawrence, was going to meet with some other board members of Dare Enterprises. His mother went off in search of a decent bar or club. Both had left him at the Bear Creek visitor’s lodge to ‘enjoy the wilderness while it was here’. Without waiting for an escort, and confident his top of the line iPhone’s GPS would get him back to civilization, he went exploring.

“And he was never heard from again.” Jason snorted.

“Oh, yeah, this guy straight up died in the woods.” Leo nodded.

Forty minutes into his hike up a well worn path, Jeremy found himself staring down a wolf with piercing blue eyes as it walked onto the trail. It hadn’t noticed him at first and had stopped in the middle of the path to howl. He recorded it on video with his phone, already thinking of ways to impress Erika and his friends with the footage. Maybe even get some followers on MySpace. 

“A part of me has just died inside.” Hermes said, grasping over his heart. 

“It’s 2008, Hermes. He’s a junior.” Apollo rolled his eyes. “College kids are the ones using FaceBook.”

It was when the howl got a series of responses that he started to get wigged out by the eerie sound.

Jeremy started to back away, flipping the camera on himself as he did. He was going to say something clever when a sharp crack rang out. A stick broke under his feet and the wolf looked at him. He stared back. It started coming towards him, and his heart leapt into his throat when he heard its growl.

“Atta boy, Bruno. Sic’em!” Ares jeered.

“...Apollo, I’m agreeing with Ares. Point out a flaw in this.” Artemis urged in a hushed breath.

“Uh, gimme a second I’ll think of something.”

Jeremy immediately turned tail and ran, shamelessly screaming for his life. The wolf pursued him, barking and snarling. For some reason, he decided that running on a clear path that someone had been using was a dumb idea, and juked further into the wood.

I could lose it in the trees! Jeremy thought. He made a left then a right, then another left and a second right.

“...Left…right…” Annabeth blinked and then pinched the bridge of her nose. “He basically didn’t move.”

“What, no way, that’s four ...turns.” Percy blinked. “Oh. Wow. Yeah. No, he’s...This guy is an idiot.”

“And when you know that, we know it’s true.”

“I hate you so much, Nico. What happened? I thought we were good.”

“Meh, I’ve got a grudge.”

He slowed to catch his breath and nearly messed up his pants when the wolf shot past him. It turned and doubled back, fangs exposed in a snarl.

Jeremy Higgensworth thought that this was the day he was going to die in the woods.

“That implies that it isn’t and that infuriates me.” Thalia deadpanned.

He scrambled away, slipping on the dirt and sticks, before rushing back towards where he thought the path was. A loud crack sounded before something snagged his ankle.

It got him. Oh, god! It got him!

Naturally, he started flailing. Then he started screaming. Maybe he’d started sobbing. Regardless of what step he was on, when Jeremy realized he wasn’t dead yet or having the flesh ripped from his bones, opened his eyes and found himself dangling upside down from a snare.

The wolf ran up to the tree, braced itself on its hind legs and snapped its jaws at his face. He was a foot above its snout. The wolf appeared to realize this and dropped down. It barked and then howled.

“Get the barbeque sauce!” 

More howls answered, and they sounded close.

“And pickles!” “Cool ranche!” 

Jeremy panicked.

“Help! Please!” He cried out. “Someone help!”

“We need a hero to save us, who’s not going to stand in our way!”

“Apollo, for the love of us, stop singing!” Hades snapped, holding his head.

“Y’all are cramping my style!”

Jeremy wasn’t sure how long he screamed, but eventually someone heard him. To his dismay, it was a guy around his age. His right eye had a scar that cut through his eyebrow, and to the right of that was a silver stud pierced through his brow. A black stud was in his left earlobe and on the cartilage was a silver cuff. His cheeks had weird scars on them. He was wearing grey Columbia pants and had a white T-shirt with a crescent moon on it. Resting on his head were a pair of orange headphones and hanging off of one shoulder was a black backpack.

“H-Hey!” Jeremy waved at him. “Hey! Hey! Help!”

“No…” Thalia groaned. “Dammit!”

“Yeah, good guy superhero to the rescue.” Nico sighed.

“...Guys, he’s Moon Knight.” Piper drawled. “Moon Knight’s not always a good superhero.”

I say we let him fall. The Fox advised. You’d have to be an idiot to miss that poacher’s snare.

“Mm-hm.” Naruto stared up at the teenager dangling from a snare trap and shouting at him. Here he was sure that he’d disarmed all the poachers’ snares in the area. At least this guy had found one more for him. He pulled his headphones off allowing Ozzy Osborne’s “Crazy Train” to alert the wolf of his presence.

“What’s with his taste in music?” Hazel frowned.

“Hazel, I wanted to like you. I really did.” Thalia sighed. “But if you’re saying that about Ozzy Osborne...There’s just no hope.”

“Hey! You got a-a gun or something, right? Kill that thing! It’s a monster!”

“...Starting to agree with you, Fox.” Naruto mumbled to himself. The Fox huffed.

That’s because I’m always right.

“Now you sound like my mother.” Naruto rolled his eyes and looked at the growling Bruno. He held a hand out and clicked his tongue. Bruno’s ear flicked, but he kept growling.

“Bruno.” Naruto narrowed his eyes, and the beta stopped growling. He clicked his tongue again, and Bruno slowly made his way over. Bruno took in his scent before he started licking Naruto’s hand. The blond smiled and scratched his head. “That’s a good boy. Go on back to the pack. I’ll take care of this guy, yeah?”

Bruno panted and licked his arm.

“Aww, what a sweetie.” Annabeth giggled.

“...Annabeth, he was just trying to bite someone stuck in a tree.” Frank pointed out.

“So?”

“The ethical issues with that–”

“Zhang, shut up. This wolf’s growing on me.” Thalia huffed.

Naruto sighed.

“Yes, okay, good boy. Here.” He dug around in one of his pants’ pockets, pulling out some packaged jerky and ripping it in half. The wolf snatched it eagerly. Bruno, satisfied with his treat, slunk away back toward their lodge. Naruto stuck the rest of the jerky in his mouth and shooed the beta along when he looked back. “No, Bruno. Go on, get!” 

He got.

“Such a good boy.” 

“Very subtle, Wise Girl.” Percy rolled his eyes. He’d have to tell Paul to look for a boy.

“Holy $&*%, dude! How’d you do that?!”

Naruto glanced up at the dangling teen and arched his pierced brow. He finished off his jerky with a gulp.

“How are you not unconscious yet?”

“Wha-Huh?”

“Your lungs aren’t meant to be under all the weight of your other organs,” Naruto crossed his arms. The boy’s eyes widened in fear. 

Oh, we could have some fun with this. The Fox chuckled.

“I’m amazed he isn’t basting in his own piss yet.” Ares grunted in annoyance. 

“He probably wet himself on the run.” Artemis drawled. “It’s a survival tactic all mammals have. Relieving themselves to lighten the load.”

“You’re right.” He mumbled, cracking a small smirk. To add a log on the fire, he scratched his head. “And if that doesn’t get you, the blood rushing to your head will. Your heart’s working overtime to compensate for the gravity. Stay up there too long and boom. But that’s if you don’t die of asphyxiation, first.”

“O-Oh, man…Hey, get me down!”

“Why? You’re trespassing on private property.”

“This is a national park…isn’t it?”

“The border is thin, but this is technically my family’s land.”

It wasn’t a lie. In 1916, Zeus ensured this little cut of America’s Wilderness was in Federal hands so his mother could do with it as she pleased. She left it alone until the turn of the millennium. Uncle Fred got some part of Texas, where he keeps his cattle, and the other gods had their own little places — According to Uncle Fred, Hera and Hermes had to split Vegas since both of their domains were so highly valued there. 

“The only thing we can agree upon.” Hera nodded.

Hermes looked perfectly innocent as he said, “What about those drapes from the seventies?” 

“We agreed to never bring them up again!” 

“You don’t look like an Indian.” The boy said before spluttering. “No-not that you aren’t or have to be to own land out here!”

“...Okay, yeah. No. He can be eaten.” Piper scowled. She tolerated a lot of things, but racism was not on that list.

“Wow. That’s…wow.” Naruto blinked, dumbfounded by the teen’s unintentional racism. He leaned back on his foot. “Maybe I should just call Bruno back so he can finish the job?”

“No, no! Wait! Please! I’m sorry, I just—I don’t even want to be here, okay! My parents dragged me out here and—”

Naruto rolled his eyes at the sob story that the guy was letting out. He went to the snare’s counter weight and pulled out a Swiss Army knife. A simple flick of his wrist and the rocket scientist was brought back down to earth.

“Ow!”

“Brace yourself.” Naruto drawled, folding the knife from his utility tool away and tucking it back in his pocket. He walked over to the downed boy and watched him get to his feet. “Welcome back to earth, Icarus. Have a nice flight?”

“Hu-Wha?”

“Never mind.” Naruto rolled his eyes. Not a demigod, just a boy. 

“Wow I can feel the mental relation from here.” Hermes pulled at his collar while Artemis was too busy preening. 

“Oh…I get it. He’s a foil!” Apollo nodded. “Stereotypical guy to clash with Lil Nephew’s Arte-like take on them. They’ll probably become buddies.”

“That’s not funny.” Artemis frowned.

“Bed buddies?” Aphrodite asked.

“Well, given the right circumstances…”

“Don’t even jest.” Artemis hissed scathingly.

He was no longer interesting. He started lifting his headphones back up when the boy spoke again.

“Wait!” He scrambled to his feet. Durable kid, the mortal got a smidge of respect for walking off a fall like that. “Can you-can you show me the way back to the visitors center?”

I say let him rot.

Naruto was tempted to do just that. The teen in front of him, though durable, was an idiot and had some serious issues with his thought process. Unfortunately, if he was left to wander around he could inadvertently bring attention to the pack. The broken phone he found a mile up the hill was pretty pricy.

Curse your bleeding heart for the dumb-dumbs. The Fox grumbled. Should’ve let him rot. Or become bear food.

“That’d just make the bears sick.”

“What?”

“My Jeep’s parked nearby.”

“Oh, yes.” Dionysus smirked. “Artemis’ boy is crazy in the eyes of others.”

“Definitely a Moon Knight expy.” Piper mumbled.

Naruto walked past him, ignoring the bewildered look on his face. The sooner he got this moron out of the woods, the better. When he realized the boy wasn’t following, he turned and scowled at him. “You coming?”

That got him moving.

“So…my name’s Jeremy.”

“Don’t care.”

“Look, if this is about that India-Native American comment, I’m sorry. I just, I was just chased by a wolf!”

“Oh, yeah.” Frank scoffed. “I revert to casual racism in states of duress, too.” 

“Don’t you, though?” Jason asked, arching a brow. “I mean, shapeshifting and all. Couldn’t that be considered kind of like bla–”

“Jason, honey, I love you.” Piper covered his mouth with her hand. “You’re smart. You’re pretty. But nothing in the world will make me save you from the retribution you’d face if you finish that statement.”

Jason looked at Frank, and saw Hazel, and immediately blanched. Piper pulled her hand back and he nodded gratefully at her.

“You’re a godsend, Piper McLean.”

“Just try to keep that in mind.”

“You provoked him.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“You ran.” Naruto glanced at him. “Know what else runs?”

“..No?”

“Prey.” Helios, Selene, Chthulu, Primus…someone save him from this mortal boy’s stupidity. “Prey runs.”

“Educating and scaring him all at once.” Thalia crossed her arms. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m impressed.”

“‘Course you are.” Reyna snorted.

“You got something to say, Roman Girl?”

“You’re infatuated with the idea of this boy.”

“For the sake of peace and not starting anything...I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.” Thalia growled.

“Oh.”

The rest of the trip was made in blissful silence.

“And it was awkward.” Apollo snorted.

June 28th, 2008

Percy Jackson lamented his luck. Why couldn’t his summers just be normal?

“Don’t even get me started.” Percy groaned.

First off, his school orientation and by proxy the movie day he and Annabeth had planned was ruined by a couple of goat legged cheerleaders called Empousa.

“Stupid cheerleaders.” Annabeth frowned. “I was looking forward to that movie.”

“We still saw it.”

“It wasn’t the same with Tyson and Grover tagging along.”

Then, they got into a fight while fighting giant scorpions and fell down a hole. Turns out that hole was an entrance to The Labyrinth — because of course it was — and had to be investigated before the Titan Army could use it to flank the Demigods.

Annabeth was chosen to lead the quest to find the Labyrinth’s creator; both he and Thalia immediately volunteered to help her. Long story short, they had a bunch of zany interactions – some jerk named Janus, a monster named Kampê, a Sphinx that could double as a game-show host, and even Hephaestus – before Percy got blown up by a minor eruption he caused at Mount St. Helens. He recovered from that little incident in Ogygia. Once he returned to Camp, he told Thalia and Annabeth what he learned from Hephaestus: a clear sighted mortal could navigate the Labyrinth. 

“And this was just a single summer for you?” Jason asked.

“That was just the first month.” Percy deadpanned. 

“All we had were war games.” Reyna frowned.

“Right? So lame.” Jason groaned.

Annabeth first suggested he ask his mom to help them, but he politely (yet feverently) shot down that idea. Then she suggested they ask the son of Artemis, that Naruto guy who’d apparently known Egyptian and Norse gods — Percy’s dad had gotten super miffed when he asked what Valkyries were

“I’m not stupid enough to actually ask, Dad.”

“I’m well aware son,” Poseidon said, a grateful and amused smile on his face.

— to guide them, but Thalia said he’s been missing since January. Thalia seemed a bit upset about it for some reason when she mentioned it, her thunderous scowl looking more like Zeus’.

“...We…We don’t know where he is. Again.” Thalia blinked. She rubbed her temples. “This guy who...aged me. Gone? Like the freakin’ wind?”

“Well, he is a mortal.” Annabeth frowned. “But he was part of our family…”

“So, what role did he play?” Frank asked.

“Brother/Dad.” 

All eyes turned to Thalia, and Annabeth smirked.

“…Dad, huh?”

“Shut up, Annie.”

Resigned and out of options, Annabeth agreed to return to the Labyrinth once more with his help from his friend Rachel Elizabeth Dare. She wasn’t too happy about it, for whatever reason, but at least Thalia and Rachel got on all right.

From there, after a fight in which he got the worst spoil ever from his wrestler of a half-brother, they found Daedalus in his workshop. He’d already chosen his side and fled before they could stop him. Disheartened, Rachel led them out of his workshop to the Garden of the Gods, and the sun was low on the horizon. They walked along a road for what felt like forever before they found a sign.

“‘Colorado Springs, five miles’?” Percy groaned, reading the sign.

“Could be worse. Could be kilometers.”

“..Annabeth-?”

“I’m working on it, Frank.” Annabeth sighed.

“You couldn’t have led us somewhere closer to the area?” Annabeth asked Rachel with a frown. The red-headed, clear-sighted girl shrugged.

“Hey, it’s not like I’m thrilled about making a five mile hike either.” 

“Really? I’m shocked. Don’t you want to experience the planet you’re trying to save?”

“I’ve seen it before. It’s pretty, but I’d rather not make another hike through it.”

“Annie,” Thalia put a hand on her shoulder, interrupting whatever retort she was going to make, and arched her eyebrow. “Why don’t we try hitchhiking? Maybe Hermes will smile on us.”

Percy frowned. Given what happened over winter, he wasn’t too sure about it. Accidental or not, Thalia did kick Luke over a cliff. Gods didn’t like it when that sort of thing happened to their kids.

“True. But I like you, Percy.” Hermes smiled.

“Ooh.”

“Not like that.” Hermes snapped, glaring at Aphrodite. “That’s Apollo’s thing.”

“…You think?” Annabeth asked all the same.

“Anything’s worth a shot, right?”

Annabeth nibbled on her lip and nodded. They went to the edge of the road and, after digging around in her pocket for some drachma, Annabeth looked up.

“O Hermes, swift god of travelers, grant us a safe journey with a trustworthy mode of transport.”

“Done!” Hermes snapped his fingers.

After a tense moment, the drachma vanished.

“And now we wait.” Annabeth sighed. Rachel was staring at her, a red brow quirked.

“Not keen on waiting?”

“While my home is going to be attacked?” Cold grey eyes glared daggers at the mortal. “No, not really.”

“Annabeth, play nice.” Thalia nudged her. Percy stifled a laugh when she grumbled something too fast for him to catch. Thalia arched a brow. “Where in the world did you learn that sort of language?”

“From you and ‘Whiskers’.” Annabeth smirked. “You guys weren’t very quiet whenever you bickered about watch duty.”

“Oh, you little-!” Whatever form of retaliation Thalia was going to give was cut short as she paused and looked to the northeast. “Do you guys hear that?”

“The birds chirping?” Percy frowned. “No offense, Thalia, but this isn’t Lord of the Rings. Giant eagles are not going to save us.” He paused and considered that for a minute. “Well, maybe you. Not me.”

“Nice.” Apollo snickered.

“Gods save us if you’re supposed to be the “chosen one”, your head is full of kelp.” She rolled her eyes and stuck a hand out into the street with her thumb up. “That’s Lars Ulrich’s drumming!” 

“No way you could tell that–”

“Are you challenging my Metallica Trivia?” Thalia asked, glancing at her cousin. “You wanna put money down? Cuz I will.”

“...You sound more serious than confident. I believe you.” Nico looked away.

Percy strained his ears and faintly heard the drumming she was talking about. It was accompanied by a fast guitar. Honestly, quite the toe-tapping beat, and it was actually getting louder. Sure enough, a deep blue Jeep Wrangler popped up over the hill in the distance. Percy thought it was a great color on any car, but this one stood out.

“Well, obviously, it’s a protag car.” Apollo smirked. Then frowned. “Should’ve taken my Camaro offer.”

“Who listens to Metallica while driving?” Rachel asked.

“Someone with a good taste in music.” Thalia said, her hitchhiking thumb turning into a wave. “Hey! C’mon, stop!”

The Jeep rolled past them before it pulled to a stop. The brake lights flipped on and it floored in reverse before stopping again in front of them. Percy blinked when he saw the driver, who stared at them in return.

Well, he thought. I guess Naruto’s not missing anymore.

“Dude goes missing almost as much as Roman artifacts.” Percy snorted.

“We don’t lose things all the time.” Reyna frowned.

"I'll believe that when someone gets a Roman Quest that doesn't involve recovering something."