Blocked Party: The Podcast: The Newsletter - The Official Newsletter of Blocked Party: The Podcast #10

Hello! It’s Double Newsletter Day here at the Blocked Party Patreon. I haven’t coordinated with John with regards to what we’re writing about (this is Stefan, by the way), so hopefully there isn’t too much overlap... Although somehow I doubt he’ll be talking about Hoarse Whisperer. 

In this edition, I'll be going over our weekend in Cascadia, the hell that is the comments section on Hoarse Whisperer's Patreon page, and the absolute shittiest posts of the past ten years. Please feel free to let me know which posts I missed, because I'm sure I missed a lot. For instance, I didn't include the US Airways tweet of the lady with the plane in her pussy, because I didn't want to include the photo, on account of how nasty it is. Also, that post was actually good.

Tour Recap
We were down in Seattle and Portland last weekend, and it was a hell of a time. Thank you to everyone who came out to the shows! Here are a few highlights for those of you who missed out:

• The first and only question of the post-show Q&A was someone saying “peen-nut” to John.
• We later ran into that same person outside Voodoo Donuts, and he once again said “peen-nut” to John.
• I made the mistake of reading out a bunch of Joey's posts after we played his Cameo. Seattle laughed them off. Portland, not so much.
• The Minion Death Cult and Street Fight guys kick a lot of ass, and you should listen to their shows!
• At the end of the Seattle show, Bryan got everyone up on stage to do a Top 3, except he didn't explain the concept to the audience, so when he asked them for "a Top 3 idea," they had no clue what he was talking about.
• We ended up redoing Bryan's previous Top 3 (Worst Restaurant Atmospheres), and I changed things up and went with Booster Juice for my number one.
• For the non-Canadians, Booster Juice is our version of Jamba Juice, and is located almost exclusively in train and bus stations. I once ate a wrap from there and got Norovirus.
• We also got to tell funny work stories. My personal favorite: my coworker at the plumbing warehouse who called in sick to work and when asked to provide a reason why, said he stayed up all night watching the news. In fairness, it was the day of the Brexit vote.
• The highlight of the trip for me, personally, was the chicken sandwich we had in Portland at a place called Basilisk. When we walked in, they were playing Airwolf on the TV. The sandwich itself knocked me out for approximately five hours. Amazing.

My Favorite Video Games of the Past Ten Years

I did this last month for my favorite movies, so here it is for video games, which are basically movies you can play. I will not be doing this for books. Maybe John will.

• Hollow Knight
• The Witcher 3
• Dead Space 2
• Rayman Origins
• Rogue Legacy
• Alien: Isolation
• Super Mario Odyssey
• Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
• Rocket League
• Super Mega Baseball 2
• Slay the Spire
• Ni no Kuni 2
• Steep
• Papers, Please
• Hearthstone (sigh)
• Enter the Gungeon
• Nuclear Throne
• The Witness
• Titanfall 2
• The Messenger
• DOOM
• Inside
• Baba Is You
• Overcooked
• Hotline Miami (1 & 2)
• Shovel Knight
• Cuphead
• Super Meat Boy
• Dishonored 2
• Call of Duty: Black Ops
• Dead Cells
• Return of the Obra Dinn
• Stardew Valley (This one is for John)
  

The Worst Posts of the Decade
It’s been a long ten years, and those ten years have been filled with some atrocious posts. From Hillary Clinton to Benny Johnson, from Spaghetti-O's to Clara Jeffery, these posts all have one thing in common: they fucking suck out loud. Just to be clear, none of the following are my posts. Don't say, like, "Oh, is this just going to be a link to your timeline?" or "All of these bad posts are your posts," or "The bad posts in this segment of the newsletter all belong to you, and you posted them." I did not post any of these. Yes, one of my posts is screengrabbed here, but it's not really my post. Anyway, you'll see. Oh, and you’ll also notice a fair number of these are from 2016, and that is because 2016 is the worst year of all time.


Long since deleted, but never forgotten.


Damn, can you believe this insanely smart guy somehow managed to get phished?


Technically I stole this from some verified youth pastor dipshit, but he deleted the original. So it goes.


I got blocked for stealing this one too. I'm sure that'll be a bonus episode some day.


This one is so bad that we have a custom command that brings it up in our Twitch chat (!Stan).


Sorry, had to make sure you guys were still paying attention.


Everyone who takes public transit is a big piece of shit! This guy writes for SNL, by the way. You know, the show that, uh, Donald Trump hosted. 


I had assumed this all-time great was posted in, like, 2014. Nope. It's been a long few years.



[thinking face emoji]


This is one of many entries in the genre of “Definitely Real Political Observation From My Precocious Little Youngster,” but I think it might be the shittiest.


Trying to figure out how they lost. Hmm...
Obviously I had to include a few brand tweets. Here’s one from the morning of the Boston Marathon bombing:

Christ, remember when we used to post on a website that looked like that?


Okay, maybe this isn’t technically a “brand,” but I'll allow it.


Sorry, don’t know how this one ended up here instead of the "Best Posts" list. 


Woof. This one might just be rock bottom. And hey, speaking of which…
Centrist Horse Patreon Update
Now, I'm not just going to go whole hog and copy-paste all the content from the Hoarse's Patreon, Not because it's against the rules or anything, but because it is some insanely boring shit. What I do have for you are a couple of absolutely fantastic Hoarse Whisperer Patreon comments. Fair warning: the horny wine-and-xanax energy emanating from these screengrabs is exceedingly dangerous. Please use eye protection if at all possible.


Sorry for the amount of awful content I stuffed into this newsletter. I promise the next one will just be pictures of Bone Bone. Thanks again for all the support!