Billy's Halloween (pt 7)

For the next hour or so, Billy felt like he was center stage in some sort of fairy tale. While there were no footmen, no coaches about to turn into pumpkins or fairy godmothers, he certainly felt like he was a princess, in the middle of a ball thrown in his honor.

The tables and chairs where guests had eaten and drank earlier had been cleared away at some point, allowing the center of the large room to become a dedicated dance floor. Now the – mainly drunk – guests were enjoying some more dance oriented tunes, the DJ having moved on from his Halloween playlist.

The CEO had led Billy by the hand from the photo area to the dance floor, where Billy noticed a certain amount of room was made for them, apparently in deference to Martin’s title and position. For Billy, it only enhanced the feeling of this being a special moment for him, a sort of celebration of his disguise, a coronation for his impersonation.

“Let’s dance,” he said, unsure if he even could.

It helped that Martin wasn’t that much of a dancer either, at least, no more than the average white man. Being in a full Dracula costume didn’t lend itself to looking that cool either, so instead he leaned into it, adopting various moves from Michael Jackson’s Thriller video, spinning around, flaring his cape and showing his fangs.

Billy however, not wanting to break an ankle or the heels of his expensive shoes, shuffled back and forth, letting his hips and ass do the hard work for him. After a song or two, starting to feel a little self-conscious, he remembered he wasn’t being ordered to wear his heels.

Slipping them off his feet mid-song, he looked for, and found, the ever-present Julie. Nipping across the dance floor he handed over the shoes. “Be a doll and hang onto these,” he said with a wink. Julie nodded, then pointed behind Billy. He turned to find the CEO ready to dance. Taking Billy’s hand firmly, Martin whisked him away across the dance floor.

As ‘Linda’ was now more maneuverable, the CEO stepped up his dance game, pulling Billy into a classic ballroom-dancing clinch, spinning him around and almost off his feet. Billy again found himself laughing as the crowd started to whoop and applaud for their ultimate boss and their unusual hostess.

As the dancing continued, Billy began to feel a little giddy with excitement, and not just because of the alcohol in his system. Arguably, this was the first time he had ever been Linda Merrill in public –  the Linda Merrill who was an actress and one-time celebrity, not Linda Merrill, the mother or professional woman. ‘She’ was on display here, being shown off, and ‘she’ liked the attention.

It helped that he was wearing the Elvira costume, which felt so daring and overtly sexual it seemed to match his own, inner arousal. It also helped that Linda’s body wore it exceedingly well, thanks to the money spent by the company to make the costume as authentic as possible.

Billy felt born to play this role, this version of Linda; sassy, confident, take-charge and well aware of her sexuality. There on the dance floor, enjoying himself more than he could remember, he felt incredibly confident in his impersonation, in his ability to duplicate his mother in almost every way possible. As long as no element of his disguise failed, he was certain he could fool these people for as long as he needed to.

The more he danced, the more he shook his hips and ass, the more he gave the CEO and others knowing winks, the more aroused he became. None of them knew, he kept telling himself. The CEO didn’t know as he twirled Linda around, Julia the executive assistant didn’t know as she gave ‘Linda’ a thumbs-up and none of the near-drooling techies knew as they whooped and cheered at ‘Elvira’s’ moves.

No-one had any clue that the Linda Merrill they were dancing with was, in fact, not the Linda Merrill they paid for. That in fact beneath layers of clothing and latex, a young man’s cock was rigid in excitement at how he was truly deceiving everyone.

After several more songs passed, Billy began to feel a little tired, and also slightly concerned about sweat beneath his mask, which could have caused him problems. Somehow his executive dance partner seemed to sense this, and Martin took Billy by the arm, graciously guiding him away from the dance floor and over to the area where they spoken before.

“Can I freshen up your drink?” he asked, using his ridiculous fake accent once more. “Perhaps something other than blood?”

Billy paused. Generally speaking, he stayed away from hard liquor when he was dressed as Linda; he didn’t have enough experience with drinking to know what his limits were. But that note of caution was quickly overruled by the rest of his alcohol-infused brain.

“Sure,” he said. “Surprise me.”

“A challenge,” Martin replied. With a gleam in his red eyes, he left for the bar.

Almost as if by magic, Julie appeared at Billy’s elbow. “You were great out there,” she said. “You’re a great dancer.”

Julie’s words, smile, and posture seemed sincere, but there was something in her eyes; something that suggested she viewed Linda as… a threat? Perhaps she wanted to be swept off her feet by Martin, much like Billy had been.

There wasn’t much he could do about Julie’s feelings. If Martin had eyes for Linda, then right now, that meant the CEO had eyes for Billy.

“Thanks very much,” he said to Julie, smiling as winningly as he could. “All part of the service!”

“Speaking of service,” Julie said, “Everybody chipped in for a tip. You have been absolutely fantastic tonight. You deserve it.”

She passed Billy an envelope, quite thick and surprisingly heavy with cash. Billy took it, thanking Julie profusely, then tucked it inside his purse, which had already received quite a lot of cash from direct tips. “I really appreciate it,” Billy said. “If there’s any way that I can help the company at some future event, please let me know. Believe it or not I can host without half of my body on display. I can even curse less!”

“We’ll absolutely keep you in mind,” Julie said with a smile that didn’t really reach her eyes. “Do you need any help getting home? Have you got a ride organized? I can order one from our ride service.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” Billy said. “I can take an Uber, it’s how I got here.”

“Well, you might want to order it soon,” Julie said. “At this time of night, the wait can get quite long – and it can be quite expensive.”

Billy checked his Uber app, and sure enough, ‘surge pricing’ was in effect. It was going to cost almost three times what he had paid earlier to get home.

“Wow,” he said, looking at the quote. “That’s daylight robbery.” He knew he could cover the cost with Linda’s tip, but had been hoping that Linda would let him keep some of that money.

Julie leaned over and winced when she saw the price. “Really, I’m happy to order you one of our cars. It won’t cost you a dime. They’re very good, very professional, and it’ll probably be a limo. You can ride home in style!”

“You had me at limo, Julie,” Billy said. “I’d love that, if you wouldn’t mind. But can we have them arrive in, say, fifteen or twenty minutes? So I can circulate and say my goodbyes?”

“Absolutely,” Julie replied. “Not a problem.” She got up and hustled away, apparently happy to be of service. Whether or not she was jealous, Billy hoped that Julie would at least respect ‘Linda’s’ performance that evening. His mother deserved to make more paid appearances, if she wanted to… and Billy had to admit, he wanted to cover for her again. It had been a lot of fun to be “Linda, Mistress of the Dark”.

Fun but also, tiring. As Billy looked around at the crowd, a roiling sea of drunk nerds, he realized that between the performing, socializing and dancing, he was absolutely exhausted. He suddenly wanted to go home, shed both layers of his disguise and crawl into bed.

Martin, the CEO, apparently had other plans. As Billy was contemplating a soft warm bed, he returned holding two dark cocktails, one of which he handed to Billy.

“What’s this?” Billy asked.

“Apparently it’s called a ‘Stormy Hallows Eve’,” Martin said. “I’m told it’s mostly white rum and coke, with some cherry and ginger.” The drink had been served in a wide glass, with some sort of sparkling dust applied that made its surface glitter in the low light. “Shall we?”

He raised his glass towards Billy, who did the same, wondering if he was about to regret this. As his fake lips touched the glass’ edge, he reminded himself, in theory, a limo was on the way.

The cocktail was surprisingly sweet, but with a spicy aftertaste and definite alcoholic kick. It wasn’t the most unpleasant thing Billy had ever tasted. He enjoyed it enough to take a few sips in succession, all the while looking at Martin, who was definitely looking at him.

“What? Do I have blood on my teeth?” Billy quipped.

“No, no,” Martin said. “Just reminding myself that I’m actually standing here with the Linda Merrill.”

Billy chuckled as Linda might. “No-one says ‘the’ Linda Merrill, trust me. Not even my son.”

“Really? I’d have thought he’d be your biggest fan,” Martin said. “He wasn’t born when the show aired though, right?”

“No, quite a while after,” Billy said. He didn’t really want to delve into Linda’s personal life, not least because the opening topic was about himself. He took another sip of his cocktail. “Wow, this really does feel like it could be deadly,” he said, hoping a grin would distract Martin.

The CEO shrugged. “Well, both of us are undead already, right? So, shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Touché,” Billy said, sipping again. He should have stopped with the wine, he told himself. And this glass should have water in it. “I think I’ll limit myself to just one of these,” he told Martin.

“That’s a shame,” Martin said, stepping closer to Billy than he had before. Arguably he was just getting close enough to speak without shouting over the music, but there was a meaningful look in his red eyes, and Billy didn’t think it was acting.

It was clear Martin had a ‘thing’ for Linda, but this wasn’t a new phenomenon to Billy. Multiple men had practically drooled over him at Comic-Con, both in and out of his borrowed Wonder Woman costume. For men of a certain age who’d happened to watch Guardian Girls – a narrow demographic, Billy had to admit – Linda’s portrayal of ‘Tiffany’ had been formative. Martin might not have watched the show when it aired but clearly, he’d been entranced by reruns. With the money and position that allowed him to do something like “hire the woman who turned you on as a kid for a Halloween party”, Billy could understand why eventually he’d make a move, especially when he was a little drunk.

In some ways, Billy felt extremely flattered. After all it was his impersonation of Linda that had made the CEO interested in him; that fact alone was arousing. Still, while the spirits in his system were willing, his fake flesh felt weak. He was exhausted, feeling as if one more drink might loosen his tongue before it would loosen Linda’s clothes. While part of him was tempted to flirt more, fun as it might have been, he knew if it led anywhere it could be disastrous. Not just for Billy, but for Linda too.

So when Martin loomed a little closer, drink wavering in his glass, red eyes fixed on Elvira, Billy took a half step backward, raised his hand and coughed into it, as if he didn’t want to spread germs. Then he smiled sweetly, sipped at his drink, and wondered how long it would be before the promised limo arrived.

///

Billy was starting to wonder whether he had just misread the signals. It had been maybe fifteen minutes since the CEO had delivered Billy a cocktail and so far, apart from one (possibly booze-induced) lurch towards ‘Linda’, Martin had yet to make a real ‘move’.

Instead he had chatted away with Billy – and other employees who moved in and out of their range – about innocuous subjects, from the general verdict on the party to favorite horror movies. Martin asked a few questions about Guardian Girls but nothing that Billy hadn’t heard before. When he ran out of obvious anecdotes, Billy moved the conversation back to the CEO, asking about his business career. Unsurprisingly, Martin was happy to chat about his achievements.

As time ticked by and Billy half-listened to Martin, he wondered if he’d figured him completely wrong. Perhaps he wasn’t interested in Linda at all; maybe he had genuinely wanted to hire an entertaining host for his event and Linda’s name stuck out from a list.

And maybe, Billy told himself, he was getting a little too arrogant himself, expecting that his impersonation was always going to reduce men to drooling idiots or horned-up sex fiends. As he nodded at some other factoid about Martin’s life, he reminded himself he was impersonating a middle-aged woman – and also a character who barely rose above self-parody. Even the biggest tits and longest legs were not a guarantee that every man was going to fall at Billy’s version of Linda’s feet.

As he was having these thoughts, Martin’s ever-helpful assistant Julie popped up once more. “Hi, Linda, your ride is actually here,” she said, subtly inserting herself between Billy and Martin. “The driver will wait as long as we need him to wait, so I thought maybe you could, you know, make an exit similar to the way that you made an entrance? Like a big ‘goodbye’ moment?”

Billy smiled, although he had to force it. “Sure, that seems fine,” he said, once more admiring the sheer stamina any live performer had.

“Okay great! I’ll go get an announcement made.”

“I’ll be listening!”

Martin lifted his glass and finished off his cocktail – his second one. Billy had been offered, but had passed in favor of one final glass of wine. Even that he was sipping slowly.

“I guess it’s time to get you home before the sun rises,” Martin said. “Can’t have you turning to dust.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re getting our fatal flaws mixed up, count,” Billy said, smiling. “Yours is sunlight. Mine is men with big… bank accounts. Seriously, all I want to do is go home and pass out until next Halloween.”

“I understand that,” Martin said. “You’ve been great, if I haven’t said that enough already.”

“I can’t hear it enough,” Billy said, “but still, thank you.”

Martin opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again. Billy pretended he hadn’t noticed and turned his head, watching someone go by as he took another sip of wine.

Suddenly, like a vampire in a puff of smoke, Julie reappeared. “Martin, I was wondering if you might say a few words? It’d be better than me doing it again, I think. Is that okay?”

Martin shrugged. “Sure.” He finished his cocktail much faster than Billy ever could have, then turned to him. “I’ll just say a few remarks and then introduce you, okay? It’s probably best if you come with me up there.”

Billy agreed, placed his wine glass on a nearby table and then followed Martin, with Julie not far behind.

The employees and guests were in late-stage party mode; talking louder, laughing harder and smelling stronger. Billy managed to make his way through the crowd while only having to nudge a few people aside, almost all of whom shouted in recognition at Elvira. Soon they came to a small stage at the front of the room near the DJ’s sound system, which Martin hopped up onto, Billy standing off to the side. A microphone was handed to Martin and someone turned the lights up a little.

“Good evening,” he began, trotting out his Lugosi accent again, which boomed across the crowd. “I hope all of you have had a wonderful time this evening. I haven’t had this much fun since I chased Van Helsing across Europe.” There was a small ripple of laughter, not enough to validate Martin’s weak joke. He switched back to his own voice. “I know many of you have had a chance to meet our glamorous, fabulous hostess, Elvira.” This time, there was a spontaneous cheer from the crowd. “I think she’s done a fantastic job this evening,” Martin went on, “and I really want you all to show your appreciation, okay?”

Martin led the applause, but it didn’t feel forced to Billy. He heard a few cheers here and there and a couple of wolf whistles. He couldn’t help but smile Linda’s smile, although he was a little bit embarrassed at the attention. In some ways he felt it was Linda who deserved the applause, but then, he was there and she wasn’t. He waved and mouthed “Thank you” a few times.

At the same time, he heard Martin’s voice through the speakers saying “Come on up, come on up,” as if this moment wasn’t planned.

Carefully, Billy mounted the stage, making sure for the last time that he didn’t wipe out on his heels. After he had his balance he strutted as best he could across to Martin and plucked the microphone from his hand. Turning to the crowd he once more threw his hands up in the air, accentuating his chest, hearing their applause turn to roars of appreciation and laughter as he beamed his best smile.

“Let’s hear it for your CEO, okay?” he said into the mike. “His cash made this all happen. Martin, everyone!” The crowd’s enthusiasm continued as Billy went on. “I mean, I say his cash made this happen. Boy he’s a tough negotiator, folks. I’ve heard of corporate bloodsuckers before, but Martin’s got some appetite! Put a stone in front of the guy and I guarantee he’s getting blood from it!”

A mix of groans and laughs rippled through the room, exactly the reaction Billy had come to expect.

“Seriously, though,” he said, “I really do appreciate the opportunity to entertain you guys tonight. You all seem like great people? I mean, I have no idea what your company does. Hopefully it’s not too evil.”

“Just evil enough!” someone yelled out.

“Okay then,” Billy said. “Anyway, I’ve had a great time – and for putting up with me, I hope that all of you get fat bonuses this year.”

Someone else in the crowd yelled, “Tell him that!”

Martin threw his cloak around his face, as if he was attempting to escape the stage and dodge the comment. Billy put on a ’shocked Elvira’ face and said “I’ll make sure to mention it in my next review. Oh and speaking of reviews, I know it sounds nuts but the agency that books me appreciates good reviews online. Make sure you gimme five stars or I’ll haunt your dreams, okay?” He pointed to one particularly amorous fan who’d posed for several selfies. “Especially you, buddy!” That got the biggest laugh yet. “Okay everybody, that’s it. Thank you so, so much. Have a happy Halloween, get home safe and unpleasant dreams!”

With Elvira’s signature sign-off behind him, Billy carefully navigated his way off the stage, Martin helping him step down to the floor. To Billy’s complete lack of surprise, Julie was there to greet him.

“That was fantastic,” she said. “If you want to follow me, I’ll take you down to the lobby and we can make sure your ride service is all set.”

“Sure,” Billy said, and looked about to see Martin and say goodbye. The CEO was nowhere to be seen.

“Ready?” Julie asked.

Billy nodded, wondering why his ever-attentive fan had vanished.

///

A couple of minutes later, the elevator doors opened on the lobby. Julie and Billy stepped out, Billy’s heels once again clicking on the marble floor, echoing around the large space. Unlike when he’d arrived, now his steps were a little more erratic, a little less straight.

“Once again,” Julie said, “I really, really appreciate you coming out. Maybe we’ll see you again for something else?”

Billy had a feeling if any future event involved Martin, Linda wouldn’t be at the top of Julie’s entertainment shortlist. Still he put on another smile as he replied. “Of course, yes,” he said. “That would be fun.”

“Um, excuse me, Elvira?”

The voice belonged to the female security guard who’d first greeted Billy when he arrived. Then he’d been a lot less drunk, but also a lot more nervous.

“Oh hi!” Billy said. “How are you guys doing down here, manning the defenses.”

“Fine,” the security guard said, blushing a little for some reason. “I actually need your lanyard back if that’s okay.”

Billy had almost forgotten he had the lanyard on, with attached security ID. He carefully lifted the lanyard up and over his head, still not wanting to dislodge the Elvira wig, and handed it over.

“One last thing,” the security guard said. “Could I get–”

“Of course,” Billy interrupted, guessing what was being asked for. Without prompting he strode around the security desk and stood next to the female guard, who already had her phone out. “Now smile!”

The phone’s camera snapped away. Out of the corner of his eye Billy could see the other guard, who was definitely glancing their way. He paused for a second, suggesting another photo for “luck”, but even after that was taken the male guard didn’t move. His loss, Billy figured.

With that, he was really done.

Julie pointed out into the semi-darkness of the building’s courtyard. There, squat and shadowed, was a black stretch limousine, as promised. It still felt surprising to Billy. This was for him?

“The driver’s name is Edgar,” Julie was saying. “He’s a sweetheart. Now, he knows your address, but if you want to go somewhere else, you just tell him. As far as we’re concerned, the limo’s yours for the entire night, if you need it.”

“Oh, wow – that’s very kind. Honestly I didn’t expect that. I’ll think it’ll be straight home and proceed directly into a hot bath.”

“Well, it’s an option for you.” Julie leaned a little closer to Billy. “Frankly, I think you deserve it. You did great.”

With that, they said their goodbyes. Julie held the front door open as Billy carefully walked through and out into the cold night.

///

As soon as Billy approached the limo, he saw a heavyset man with gray, almost white hair exit from the driver’s side, moving smartly to the rear to open the door for Billy. He had to admit, he felt quite pampered already.

“And you must be Edgar,” he said as he approached. “Please tell me the heat is on inside.”

“Yes ma’am,” Edgar replied. “The heat is most definitely… on.”

That slight pause was a bit odd, but Billy didn’t want to dwell on it. He aimed straight for the door. Edgar waited until the last moment to open it, Billy assuming he wanted to keep the cold air out. As a result the back passenger door opened and Billy slid inside before he could get a good look at the interior.

Billy sank into the back seat with a relieved sigh, hearing the leather squeak a little under his weight. The interior, he had to admit, was perfectly cosy, with a pleasant floral aroma and soft lighting that kept the further end of the car in shadow. For a moment he relaxed, feeling the adrenaline that had kept him moving the last few hours begin to drain away. Perhaps he could doze a little on the drive home.

Then he heard a soft “Ahem”.

Eyes flicking open, Billy stared into the shadows, looking for the source of the sound.

A human shape loomed out of the darkness and into the soft lights of the middle of the limo. “Hey again,” said Martin, the CEO.

There was a soft crackle. Edgar’s voice came over a closed intercom. “All strapped in?”

Billy, shocked to see Martin inside of the limo – clearly having snuck out of the party – said nothing. The silence let Martin instead say “We’re ready back here.”

The limousine drew away with the soft, frictionless movement associated with luxury.

(One more installment to go! - gw)