Serenity Chapter 1

Nervous?” Laney asked Amy. She was lost in thought staring out at the trees whizzing by. Amy blinked back to earth and looked at her friend.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Amy said apologetically.

“Are you feeling nervous?” Laney said back in a clearer conviction. Amy smirked and looked back out the car window. She paused before responding.

“Who wouldn’t be nervous? It’s a new place I’ll be living in for the next 3 months. I’m supposed to ‘heal’ my depression and anxiety. Yeah. I’d say I’m a little nervous.” Amy said to her friend. Laney nodded, keeping her eyes on the road.

“I think this is going to help you, Amy. You seemed excited when you first told me about it on the phone. An entire camp dedicated to rehabilitating mental health. 3 months, all food and housing are taken care of. And your job is paying for it all? This is the perfect set up to get your feelings back on track.” Laney said cheerfully.

“My feelings back on track…” Amy thought to herself. Laney didn’t have the best grip on Amy’s emotional well-being. No one did. She wasn’t someone that was just feeling a little bummed out. It was her entire life. The monotony of her 9-5, every minute was rehearsed the same way it was the day before. It drove Amy over the edge. Finally cracking one day into a complete nervous break down in the middle of her job.

Thankfully, her bosses and co-workers were incredibly understanding about the situation. They didn’t want to fire her, they wanted to help. Her boss pulled strings and allowed Amy to take an indefinite leave of absence until she was ready to come back. They even offered to pay for her therapy expenses.

That gave Amy free range to select any therapy resource she wanted. Unbound by the ridged guidelines of insurance, she scoured the internet for treatment opportunities around the state. Amy ultimately stumbled upon a program offering ‘real alternative methods’ designed to ‘fundamentally change patients’ lifestyle. They called it “Serenity”. From the website, it had a camp-ish vibe to Amy. Pictures of wooden cabins on a steamy morning lake. Group sessions inside large common areas fit with views of the forest. It reminded Amy of the summers she spent as a kid in girl scouts. After seeing the glowing reviews of nearly everyone who participated, she signed herself up that day. Two weeks later, and she was on the road with Laney to what would hopefully be her next chapter in life.

“This is it!” Laney said as the car turned into the pothole-ridden dirt road. Amy focused on the buildings and scenery coming into view. To the left was a shimmering lake with small, two windowed cabins dotted around the perimeter. They looked like they could house no more than 3-4 people each. To the right was a large rolling grassy hill. A long log cabin sat on top, a large deck extended off the cabin and over the decline of the hill. People were sunbathing out on the Adirondack chairs.

Laney rolled the car into the parking lot off the side of the road. Others had already parked and were unloading their belongings, along with the help of Serenity counselors. A folded table was at the front of the lot. A white sign with red letters “Welcome!” painted across it.

“I feel like I’m dropping you off at camp or something…” Laney joked, nudging Amy in the arm. Amy playfully nudged her back.

“It’s a campus for people to rehabilitate themselves. I’m not trying to earn merit badges!” Amy joked back. Laney placed the car in park. One of the counselors was already walking up the car. She had a white hat on and wore the same bright red “Serenity” shirt every other counselor had on.

“Hi, there! Welcome to Serenity! Are you dropping off?” She said to Laney. Laney nodded in between pulling out Amy’s massive suitcase.

“Erf- Yes! Amy Tremont.” Laney said, pointing then at Amy. The lady whipped a clipboard up to chest level. Her eyes clenched as they scanned through the list of names.

“Tremont… Tremont…Tre- Ah-ha! Got you right here. Welcome, Amy to Serenity! We are so happy to have you here with us. You’ve made an incredible step today in your recovery.” The abundantly cheerful counselor said to the reserved Amy.

“Ah, yeah, thanks. I’m looking forward to it.” Amy said. The word ‘recovery’ sat oddly in Amy’s stomach. It made her sound like she was an addict in her mind. She shrugged it off though, knowing that these people were only here to help.

“I think that’s everything” Laney muttered. Her finger pointed at each of the unloaded suitcases while she counted in her mind.

“I don’t think I packed too much.” Amy said, her eyes looked down at the three suitcases.

“I think you and I can handle the suitcases from here, Amy.” The counselor said, she flashed a quick look at her clipboard before continuing, “Your cabin is like a 3-minute walk from here. You’re one of the lucky ones. You don’t have to walk across the lake for sessions in the dinning hall.” She said, turning around and pointing at the long log cabin at the top of the hill.

“Oh, awesome.” Amy said while flashing a small smile.

“Welp,” Amy said, spinning around to face Laney. “I guess this is goodbye for a while.” Amy said, her feet crunched on the dirt ground. She walked closer to Laney and wrapped her arms around her into a tight hug.

“Thank you, Laney…. For everything. You’re the best, best friend someone could ever ask for.” Amy whispered. Laney smiled and hugged Amy a little tighter.

“Anything for you, girl. I love you, and if you ever need anything, just call me, okay?” Laney said, releasing from the hug. Amy looked up at her and nodded.

“You won’t be gone for too long!” The counselor said while lacing her fingers around a suitcase’s extended handle. “The next 3 months will race by, trust me!” she said, “Whenever you’re ready, let’s get you over to your cabin.” She said. Amy and Laney waved one last goodbye. Amy grabbed the remaining two suitcases and started following the counselor.

Amy didn’t listen much to the counselor while they walked. She felt a wave of anxiety wash through her while she watched Laney drive away out of the corner of her eye. With her departure, the reality of her situation was sinking in. She was about to spend 3 months in a glorified camp, she didn’t know a single soul here, and at the same time, she was supposed to overcome anxiety? It was daunting.

“Cabin 3.” The counselor said, as the two of them rolled the suitcases up to the doorway. “Welcome, Amy…” She said, twisting the handle, “To your new home!” She pushed the door open in a dramatic fashion. The cabin was straight out of a movie. Light brown wooden walls and support beams. Windows around the walls let soft natural white light flow into the cabin. The musty smell of wood filled Amy’s nostrils. There were two beds on either side. On the left bed, sat a woman in a light blue shirt and pink polka-dotted pajama pants. Her hair was in two braided pigtails.

“Hi!!” The woman said ecstatically, instantly popping up from her bed. The floorboards creaked as the weight of her feet danced across the floor. Without warning, she threw her arms around Amy into a death squeeze of a hug.

“They said you’d be comin’ today!!! Hora!!! New best frieennddd!!!!” Kelly yelled, acting like a boa constrictor around Amy.

“Its-…. Nice… to…” Amy said, trying to get some words out, but the girl had her locked in tight. She furrowed her brow at the counselor and flashed a look that said ‘Help me!’ The counselor stepped in to pull the two girls apart.

“Kelly, that’s enough. We don’t hug people we haven’t met yet, remember?” The counselor said, Kelly snapped to attention at the command. She released Amy and looked down at her feet.

“I’m sorry. I got excited…” Kelly said in an obedient tone.

“Sorry about that. Kelly has been here for a couple of months now. Why don’t you introduce yourself and tell her you’re sorry?” The counselor said. Amy looked strangely between the counselor and Kelly.  Kelly obeyed the counselor’s commands lightning quick. They knew how to control the special needs people around here, Amy reasoned.

“No it’s okay I don’t-“ Amy tried saying, but Kelly quickly cut her off. Kelly’s face melted back into the same happy-go-lucky expression a dog would have.

“My name is Kelly and I’m super super sorry! Can we still be best friendsss?” Kelly asked with a concerned whine at the end. Amy felt secondhand embarrassment from the situation. And although she didn’t discriminate against her, Amy felt slightly disappointed she’d have to spend the next 3 months with the apparent special needs kid.

“Hello, Kelly. My name is Amy, and yes. We can still be friends.” Amy said, trying to sound polite. Kelly’s face light up like Christmas morning.

“Hora!” She exclaimed, skipping back to her bed. She jumped onto the mattress and picked up one of her multiple stuffed animals. “You hear that Mr. Penguin?! I have a new best friend!” She said to the animal, nudging it’s head up and down as if it were responding to Kelly’s words.

Amy winced at the extremely childish act. Before she could mull her bunk mate’s actions for too long, the counselor next to her spoke.

“Oh! I almost forgot; I need to get something for you, Amy! It’s critical. You get settled in here, I’ll be right back!” She said, spinning around speed walking away from the cabin. Amy watched her walk in the direction of the long dining hall cabin on the hill.

Amy looked back into her new ‘home’ for the next three months. She took stock of the cabin for a few moments, before breathing in deeply. After an exhale, she said to herself, “We can make this work. Keep an open mind, Amy…”

Amy started lugging her belongings into the cabin. She claimed her right side of the cabin by placing her clothes and personal items in her cabinet drawers. She watched on the other side while Kelly played along in her own fantasy land. She took her previously folded clothes and placed them in her drawers one by one. Kelly never broke eye contact with her stuffed animals. She played make-believe, getting lost in her world. It was strange to Amy how invisible she seemed to the girl.

After squaring her clothes away, she started working on her bedding. Neatly creasing the corners of her sheets over the mattress. The metal springs squeaked with each compression.  She looked over again at Kelly while she pulled out her comforter. Amy decided to break the awkward silence by striking up an introductory conversation.

“So, um, do you like it here?” Amy said while she straightened out her blankets.

“Hm?” Kelly said, her face forming into a surprise. She blinked back into reality, swiveling her head around to look at Amy. Her left thumb popped out of her mouth. “Oh, sorry! I was playin’ with my stuffies.” Kelly said, melting back into her blissfully happy self. The thumb sucking was strange to Amy. She didn’t know adults that age could still have that habit.

“Sorry to interrupt, I just asked how you liked it here?” Amy said again more clearly. She found herself adopting a softer tone with the girl to match her apparent intelligence level.

“It’s fun! I get to play with all the toys I want. The people here make me feel so good and um, they feed us really yummy food, oh! Especially during snack time, they’ll give us cookies sometimes and, and, and I really like when they do that. And I get to watch a looottt of TV which I love to do. It makes me feel so happy. And…” Kelly said, apparently trailing off in her own head. She gained a faraway look in her eyes. She stared a thousand miles past Amy, remaining silent. Amy didn’t speak at first, she expected the girl to finish her sentence. After nearly thirty seconds of silence, Amy’s nerves couldn’t handle the awkward silence anymore.

“Kelly?” Amy said, trying to wrestle the girl back into the conversation. Kelly shook her head and re-focused back on Amy.

“Hm?” Kelly said, her happy-go-lucky face returning. Amy smirked at how spacey the girl was. She shook her head and chuckled.

“Never mind. I’m looking forward to being your roommate.” Amy said, returning back to unpacking her belongings.

“Oh! Yeah! We’re gonna have sooo much fun!!” Kelly said, turning back herself to the toys she wanted to play with all along. She went back into her stuffed animal world. Amy resigned herself to the fact she was unquestionably stuck with the camp weirdo, and let the conversation completely die. Was she strange and childish? Yes. But she still seemed like a sweetheart. She’d rather that than a bitchy roommate.

Still, her description of Serenity seemed a little off. Playing with toys and eating cookies? What part of that had to do with curing her anxiety and depression? None of that sounded like the testimonies she’d read from people online. Amy didn’t dwell on it for too long though. She chalked it up to the staff adjusting to Kelly’s special needs.

A few minutes after their conversation, the counselor knocked on the cabin door. The doorknob jostled and the door opened.

“I’m back!” The counselor said, Amy turned around to face the counselor. When she said she had to grab something critical, she was expecting keys to her cabin or a map of the area. What Amy saw instead instantly blew her mind. Her mind would have placed a 0% expectancy on the counselor walking in with this.

A purple plastic package of pull-ups.

“These are for you, Amy!” The counselor said cheerfully, walking up to Amy and dropping them on the bed. Amy looked bewildered at the woman.

“I- um-“ Amy tried speaking, but she was too shocked at the package. Let alone the fact the counselor played it off as if it were normal to walk in there and drop off pull-ups that were apparently Amy’s. Her lips tripped over mouthing words, but they wouldn’t come out. The counselor, noticing Amy’s surprise, tried easing her.

“I know, Amy. This might seem crazy at first, but this is all part of the process. This has been extensively studied by decades worth of physiological research. It may seem unorthodox at first, but we require our first-time patients to wear pull-ups only for the first week while they’re here. You don’t have to use them if you don’t want to.” She said, placing a consoling hand on Amy’s shoulder. Amy brushed it off and took a step back.

“I’m sorry I don’t think I’ll be wearing those. I-I… If I’m being honest I don’t even know what to say… these are for kids who are… how does this have to do with processing anxiety and depression?” Amy asked uncertainly. The counselor smiled and tried quelling Amy’s hesitation.

“This is part of the process, Amy. There are no secret motives here. We get it, it’s weird, but this will all be explained in the meeting. These are going to help you. I can’t explain too much now but trust us here. We wouldn’t put you in any situation that wasn’t designed to help your emotional control. This will all be explained in the introductory meeting, which…” The counselor said, looking down at her watch. “… Is, oh! I must have lost track of time with you, it’s in 10 minutes! We need to get you girls up there ASAP.” The counselor said, looking back up at Amy. “Amy, I understand your confusion, but trust me. I’ve been working here for a long time. You’re not the first person to be confused about this, and you certainly won’t be the last. It’s all part of our plan here. Trust our process, and it will all make complete sense to you soon. I’ll give you a couple of minutes to put the pull-up on, and then I’ll bring you up to the introductory session!” She said in a tone that was both cheerful yet directive at the same time. She patted the package of pull-up before turning around to leave the cabin. She closed the door behind her. You could see through the door’s window that she was standing outside waiting.

“What the fuck...” Amy thought, looking down at the package in front of her. “What in the hell is going on here.” She thought, picking up the package to inspect it. The plastic package crinkled as she picked it up. Her hands twisted it around to read the sides. They were the same pull-ups you’d pick up at the drug store. Amy shook her head in disbelief.

“I’m… not putting these on. I don’t care what she says. This is just, insanity.” Amy thought, putting the package of pull-ups back down onto the bed. She looked over at the back of the counselor’s head through the door window. “I’ll just tell her I put it on.” Amy thought, knowing well beforehand she wasn’t going to wear it in the first place. She wasn’t a kid trying to potty train. She was a fully functioning adult. Adults don’t wear pull-ups. Period.

“Hey, I remember wearing those!” Kelly said, suddenly piping up and pointing at the package of pull-ups.

“You what?” Amy said, “You remember wearing these as a kid?” Amy asked.

“Well, I think I wore them as a kid too. But I don’t remember. But I remember wearing them before I started wearing diapers!” Kelly said.

“Wait you, started wearing pull-ups, but then went into diapers? I don’t get it, weren’t you potty trained?” Amy asked, discovering that her roommate seriously did have special issues.

“Well, I… don’t really…” Kelly said, straining to think back on her potty experiences. She didn’t dwell on the thought process for long. She shrugged at Amy and said, “I don’t know! I don’t really remember.” She said, all smiles.

“So you, wear diapers now?” Amy asked, trying to figure out the timeline with this girl.

“Yepp! All the time! You don’t?” Kelly said, cocking her head to the side.

“No, I don’t.” She said, Kelly, pointed at the package of pull-ups.

“You wear pull-ups instead?” Kelly said, doing her detective work. Amy shook her head.

“No, I don’t wear these either. She just brought them in for me.” Amy said in a borderline defensive tone. “Eh just, never mind about it.” Amy said reasoning she wasn’t going to get much out of this conversation. A knock at the door caused Amy’s head to turn toward the noise.

“Almost done?” The counselor said, not looking into the window.

“Shit.” Amy whispered, she wasn’t putting the pull-up on. No matter how much these people wanted her to. She’d go along with every other part of the therapy, but this was too much for her. It was a line she didn’t want to cross.

“Yeah, I’m coming now!” Amy yelled back. She grabbed the package of pull-ups and threw them underneath the bed. She draped her comforter further down the edge so no one could see them. Amy got back onto her knees. “Come on, Kelly. We have to go.” Amy said, motioning toward Kelly to get up.

“Oh! Coming!” Kelly exclaimed, jumping onto her feet without hesitating. She let Amy take the lead toward the door. Amy gripped the knob and opened the door. Warm sunshine greeted her skin. The two girls walked out and faced the counselor.

“Got your pull-up on?” The counselor asked seriously. Amy remained cool and nodded her head.

“Yes, I put it on.” She said, feeling nervous. For a place that was all about healing anxiety, they certainly liked to put Amy in anxious situations right off the bat. The counselor’s demeanor became bright and happy.

“Wonderful! Let’s get you two up to your meetings!” She said, motioning toward the cabin.

“Keep an open mind, Amy… It’s only the first day…” Amy thought, trying to reassure herself that this place knew what it was doing…

***

“Did you get a water bottle?” Another counselor said to Amy. She held up the water bottle she’d already taken a couple of sips from. The counselor nodded and asked the same question to the girl sitting in the chair behind her. Amy unscrewed the cap of her bottle and took another swig from the ‘mineral enhanced’ bottle. It tasted like water, but it had the extra crisp only found in natural spring water. She looked around at the fifteen other people taking sips.

The long cabin had a homey feeling inside. The front half of the building was carpeted with a massive fireplace at the end. A long row of unique painted signs depicting Serenity staff and patients from the past lined the walls. A large projector screen sat in front of the chairs with a podium next to it. The Serenity seal, a large fancy “S”, was carved into the center.

Amy looked around to see if she recognized anyone. They were strangers to her. The only person she did know, Kelly, was escorted to a different part of the lodge when they walked. The counselor from before told Amy that Kelly was in advanced training, which happened downstairs. Kelly was sad to see Amy go, but they reassured Kelly they’d see each other later.

“Hello!” A voice rang out from the podium. Amy swiveled her head to the speaker. He was a well-dressed slim man in a suit and tie. His demeanor was light and proud to the audience. “It is with profound joy that I wish you the warmest welcome to Serenity. My name is Dr. Winkowski, and I am the director of this program. I’ve built it from its infancy dating back to the early 90s. What we’ve learned first and foremost is that taking control of your emotions is a lifelong challenge as old as humanity itself. You are not alone in this battle. Many before you have walked through these doors, and all have walked out with the tools to grapple with themselves. There are…” Dr. Winkowski said, pausing for a moment. He smiled and continued,

“Look at me, rambling on. You don’t want to hear about all our accomplishments. You want to start the process. I’ll let our staff start the introductory video. Thank you again for choosing our program. I look forward to getting to know every one of you. Above all, congratulations on taking the first steps to your new, emotionally strong self!” He said, before signaling with his hand to start the video.

“Alright, the guy seems normal enough. Looking a little better.” Amy thought to herself. The lights in the room grew dark, and Dr. Winkowski quickly exited the main room.

The darkness in the room ended once the projector shot an image onto the screen. A scene of the lake outside in the morning time appeared. Wisps of warm steam danced and twirled around the surface. It was a breath-taking image. The photo quality was top tier, it looked to Amy like a scene straight out of National Geographic.

Gentle music began flowing out of the speakers mounted around the main hall. Amy was surprised at how the speakers were able to produce quality low-level bass. Normally dining hall camp speakers were decades old and beat up. These sounded like they belonged in an orchestra hall.

Amy felt herself relax at the calming images on the screen. The soft sounds of music and nature gently caressing her eardrums caused the muscles in her shoulder to loosen. After the tense events that occurred in her cabin before. It was refreshing to watch the relaxing nature scene.

“Serenity is peace.” Words spoke from the speaker. The swirly fog on the lake seemed to pull Amy’s gaze closer into the video. The words felt easy to let fade into the background of her mind.

“Relaxation is key. Relax your body.” The words spoke into Amy’s ear. She voluntarily let the muscles in her toes and legs unwind. She let the tension inside of them melt away.

“Emotional control is relaxation. Focus on relaxing. Relaxation is emotional control.” The video spoke. Amy’s ears perked up at that line, it struck a deep chord with her. The video was discussing her emotions. She let her mind focus harder on the words. She didn’t want to miss any lessons about how to deal with her anxiety.

“Relax your control. Let yourself relax your emotions. Relaxing your control is key.” The words seemed to tickle the inside of Amy’s mind. She let her breathing rate slow. Her chest inflated slowly, held for a few moments, then calmly released. It helped the muscles in her back and arms go loose. She wanted to focus on these words. They weren’t just relaxing to listen to, she wanted to learn from them.

“Let yourself relax into the background. These words relax in the background. You can relax into the background.” They spoke.

Amy felt her mind relax. The never-ending conversation in her head started to quiet. The anxiety from earlier started to fade from her. It felt good to let herself take a mental backseat to the video. The wispy fog was too relaxing to look away from. Her eyes remained fixed on the screen.

“Into the background. Relax your mind, into the background. You can fade, your mind, into the background.” The video echoed into Amy’s mind.

“I’ll just let myself, relax into the…” Amy thought, letting herself not have to finish that train of that. She stopped worrying about the need to. There weren’t expectations here. There were only beautiful images in front of her.

“Relax…. Your mind…. Your mind… fades….. fades…… f a d e s…..” The video spoke softly.

Amy felt her eyes start to droop. Her mind went quiet. The vibrations of her brain dulled. And she let herself follow along to the video’s words.

It was quiet, it was warm, it was relaxing.

…

“Alright!” A woman’s voice lovingly rang out from the front. The lights suddenly sprang to life above Amy.

“Hrm?” Amy thought, feeling her spine bolt back to attention. On reflex she felt herself rub her eyes, they felt groggy. “I must have fallen asleep.” Amy thought, chuckling a little bit to herself. She gently shook her head to wake her mind up. A sip of cool water would help re-sharpen her senses. She subconsciously grabbed the water bottle she placed next to her seat. She lifted the bottle and registered instantly the weight felt off.

“Huh?” Amy said, looking down at the empty water bottle. “When did I…” She thought, trying to remember when she drank all that water. She only had a few sips before the video. “I must have downed it at some point, huh, weird.” She thought, brushing it off. She felt herself smack her lips. The inside of her mouth felt dry. She looked around for any other water bottles around her. Unfortunately, there were none. The woman’s voice broke Amy’s mental train of thought.

“We are serving juice and cookies up at the back of the room. Everyone can head over now and get to know one another!” She said, motioning toward the room in the back.

“Oh sweet, I can get some juice back there

1” Amy thought, content with drinking juice to quench her growing thirst. She pushed her hands off the chair and stood up.

“Woah...” Amy thought from an alarming message in her body. The act of standing up placed immense pressure on her full bladder. “Erm… must have been from all the water I drank.” She muttered, pressing her thighs in closer together. She felt her hand slip between her crotch. The urge to pee was growing stronger by the minute. Her eyes quickly scanned the room for any sign of the bathroom.

Nothing. No Men and Women symbols anywhere in the room.

“Something wrong?” A female counselor said, noticing Amy’s pee pee dance.

“Yeah I, Um, do you guys have a bathroom in here? I really gotta go.” She said, feeling a pang of pain emanate from her bladder. She had only a few minutes before it would become too much. The counselor looked at her like she was silly.

“Why don’t you just go in your pull-up?” She said, with a tone that said ‘well duh?’

“Oh um…” Amy said she was in a pickle here. She didn’t want to get in trouble for not having her pull-up on. Her bladder pressure quickly generated the emotional courage in Amy’s chest.

“Can you just take me to the bathroom? I need to go really bad.” She said, doubling down. The woman sighed.

“Well, alright. I guess I can help you to the bathroom. But if you don’t want to feel the pressure, that’s why you’re wearing a pull-up.” She said, gesturing for Amy to follow her. Amy knew that was an odd thing for someone to say, but she didn’t care. Partially because she was a counselor, who was smart and knew what to do, but also she needed all the mental ability she could to not pee herself right now.

It took eons to snake through the kitchen, walk past the dry storage, walk out of the building to the other side of it, then go down the back steps to the bathroom door. The counselor took her sweet time pulling out her keys, rifling through them one by one until she found the right one. Amy was at critical levels by this point. Her muscles felt like they were holding back an ocean’s worth of pee. When the door was finally open, Amy pushed past the woman and bolted into the single room bathroom.

“I’ll wait out here until you’re done, or in case you need me to help.” The counselor said. Amy barely heard her. She frantically started unbuttoning her pants. It took a couple of tries to get her fingers around them right. The adrenaline in her body was just pumping so fast. When it finally unhooked, the zipper came down, and so did the rest of her pants.

“Ahh…” Amy let out, feeling herself relax onto the toilet. An avalanche of pee started flowing into the bowl. “I made it…” She thought, “That was so close. The water must have gone right through me.” Amy thought, her mind finally able to focus on something that wasn’t her bladder. The pee continued gushing out of her.

“You all good? You need any help in there?” The counselor asked while lightly tapping on the door.

“Yeah, I’m all good.” Amy said back. Amy let her face flop into her hands. She rubbed her eyes and relished in the visual break.

“I might have just used the pull-up if I had it on at that point.” Amy thought to herself. It felt weird to think that. It wasn’t that long ago she was completely appalled by the idea of strapping one on. It was true though, she was dangerously close to wetting her pants.

“I’m done.” Amy said while she wiped. She stood up and flushed the toilet. She felt a strange pride wash over her for making it. “It was super close. Another minute and I might not have made it.” She reasoned. Amy opened the door a split second later.

“You’re all good? You didn’t go in your pull-up at all on the way here?” The counselor said. Amy, feeling her cheeks flush from the lie, shook her head no.

“Okay…” The counselor said, her expression jumping from serious back to jolly and happy like the rest of them. “Let’s get you some cookies and juice then!” She said, motioning for Amy to follow her again. The mention of juice reminded Amy of the dry feeling in her mouth.

“Ah yes, finally!” Amy thought while she followed the woman. She felt weird about what just unfolded while she walked back. She thought it strange at first to need to go that bad, but she again chalked it up to drinking all that water.

“I’ll be more cognizant of it in the future.” She thought as she walked back in. She let the tension go once she saw all the delicious juices and cookies laid out. She even felt a little excited to get to know everyone who was already chatting about with food and drinks in hand. Normally she would have been deathly afraid of talking to new people. But not right now. They all seemed genuine and nice.

“Keep an open mind, Amy. This might just work…” Amy thought, feeling herself melt into the crowd as she picked up a fistful of cookies and a tall cup of juice.