Diaper Update 6/20
Added 2020-06-17 16:44:20 +0000 UTC
I’m just going to jump straight into this Diaper update!
The tone I’m trying to capture in this update is a little more serious than my other ones. In the past, I’ve been quite whimsical and upbeat about my posts. I’m not trying to sound sad in this post! But I’m getting to a point in my unpotty training where I need to make a serious decision as to whether I want to keep going or not. And I’d genuinely like a response from my patrons as to what I should do next.
Briefly, for those who have just joined us on my journey, I’ll recap my diaper training timeline. I started wearing mostly diapers (Rather than underwear) in early November. I wore normal underwear to work at the start, but I did gradually demoted myself to pull-ups most of the time at work. When I was in public or at home, I only wore diapers. This caused my first steps down the rabbit hole of un-training. Once quarantine hit in late February/early March, I’ve worn diapers 24/7 around my house ever since. I wore panties once in April to see a friend (I’ve never been more nervous about having an accident in my life), but other than that, it’s been round the clock diapers for this girl.
In my last post I talked about how I had my first daytime accident! 😊 Ever since that moment I’ve been very gradually having more accidents/super close calls during the day. What typically happens is my bladder lets me know I have to pee about 5-10 seconds before I’m going to wet myself without much control. If I were in a situation where I wasn’t wearing diapers, I can really clamp down to hold it, but I only have about a minute or two before I’m just going to start wetting myself regardless of my situation.
If I’m in the middle of something like playing a video game, then my bladder will pretty much say, “Hey, I’m wetting now.” Then instantly I’ll wet my diaper. If I’m super engrossed (Or I’m drunk) then I’ll normaly have a full accident in my diaper without realizing it. I have unaware accidents about 2-4 times a week right now.
To put it simply, nighttime is wet time. I’m waking up wet without remembering waking up about 3-5 times each week. If I do wake up with the need to pee, I go automatically. I haven’t had a dry night in about 3 weeks now. I actually love being a bedwetter. I know I don’t write about it much, but I love not having to get up from the warm bed :3. The amount of times I’ve been like, “Oh duh, just wet my diaper” and the let go, ugh it makes its so fucking worth it tbh.
That’s where I’m at currently with my diaper training. I think it’s obvious to anyone who reads above that I’m getting diaper dependent. That’s the main message I’m trying to convey in this post. I’m becoming exactly what I sought out to become all those months ago. Diapers are my underwear.
I think the question I’ve been asking myself lately is: “Do I want them to be my permanent underwear?” I’m at the point now where I can genuinely make that choice. Like many of you, I wore diapers for fun one night, masturbated, then went back to my normal life for a bit.
But right now, I feel like I’m at an inflection point. If I walk back to ‘adult’ potty habits before I started this journey, I could probably get back to 100% normal potty trained in a couple months. On the same side of the coin though, I could continue to seriously increase my diaper dependency in that same amount of time. I could become 100% incontinent probably by October/November, or I could stop now, and get back to “Regular” panties.
I wanted to see what you guys think. I know that there’s going to be a heavy diaper bias; however, we are all humans here. You know my diaper training frankly better than ANYONE else in my life. I frankly don’t have anyone else to turn and talk to about this.
I ask for your honest opinion on the matter. Message me, or comment below. Whatever you feel comfortable with.
If I’m being honest with myself, I do want to stay in diapers in some capacity. I’m an adult, which means I can make my own decisions. I want diapers to be my regular underwear. At the same time though, do I want to pretty much have a medical condition because of that? I’m not entirely sure. I lean toward no but wetting myself freely the past few months has been much less stressful, and a lot more fun, then I thought it’d be when I first started. Wearing diapers and using them isn’t nearly as big of deal as I thought it was. No one is paying attention to the state of your underwear in public.
At the same time though, do I want to strap my big girl panties back on and be an “adult”?
I’m on the fence, so please, I ask you as patrons of this page, to give your honest heartfelt opinion! We are all AB/DL’s here. We understand wearing diapers better than anyone else in this world. I think this is the best forum to talk about this than anywhere else.
Thank you to those who will respond. It will help me more than you know. I’m able to wear diapers purely off the support I get from this patreon. I wouldn’t be able to do it without you regardless of if you respond or not. I love you all.
Regardless of what happens, Diapers will be a part of my life. It’s taken me a long time to financially support myself to get here. But now that I’m there, I don’t’ want to go back to 0% diapers. I simply love them too much.
I look forward to your responses 😊!!
Comments
I greatly appreciate everyone who took the time to comment on this post. I’ve received some brilliant advice, both from here and through direct messages. I’ll be mulling over everything and making a decision later, but in the short term I’ll be staying diapered.
Maggie's Cappies
2020-06-20 01:22:56 +0000 UTCI'm actually quite impressed with the amount of intellect being offered by everyone. I thought for sure I was going to see a ton of, "Of course you should keep it up. In fact, you should just totally give up your adult life and become a 24/7 BABY! " Maybe that's judgemental of me to to think that way about people in our community, but sometimes I worry. Moving on, while I think polling you Patrons is a great start, ultimately this decision has to be weighed against specific aspects in YOUR life, Maggie. How do you explain this situation to your family? Friends? Future partners that might not be familiar with AB/DL? I don't know if you used to go to the gym, but how does being dependent effect working out? Also, not sure what your current work situation is, but if you will inevitably end up back at work, what facilities are available to you? God forbid you leak in public, is that something you could handle emotionally? If the answers to some or most of these are positive, I say hell yeah, go for it. If not, maybe tweaking things and changing it up will help you get the best of both worlds. I firmly believe that you are smart and capable of succeeding at whatever you choose to do and I know that we will all support you whatever you decide!
Anon A. Mouse
2020-06-17 22:16:48 +0000 UTCLovely assessment . You balanced a lot of positive and negatives I’ve thought of myself. You’re saying the positives normally outweigh the bad?
Maggie's Cappies
2020-06-17 19:43:31 +0000 UTCI don't know. I'm oddly okay with that? But I know intellectually I shouldn't. Like in my rational mind I know saying any of that to my parent's is crazy, but I'm not sure if my want to be 24/7 out-weighs that
Maggie's Cappies
2020-06-17 19:04:12 +0000 UTCI suppose a question you also want to ask yourself is, "what exactly do I tell my family/friends?" in regards to going full time. As you pointed out, no one is going to ask you about your bathroom/underwear habits. Most people in polite society will most certainly never ask a woman what type of underwear she is wearing, especially if they don't want to embarrass someone that is wearing a diaper. However, it's going to be a hard issue to explain to people that do care about you why you are stuck in diapers. "How did this happen? What if it's something else? Are you seeing a doctor?" Because now you either tell them the truth or lie. Of course, it gets very awkward if someone asks if they can do anything to help. (And I'll be real here, while it would be awkward as shit to do so in real life, the concept of hearing someone explain that they just like wearing diapers, unpotty trained, and decide to wear adult baby diapers is hot as a fuck, but we aren't here for that) So yeah, one thing to keep in mind with going 24/7 is what you are going to tell people that are closest to you IF it ever comes up.
2020-06-17 18:59:05 +0000 UTCOkay, so perhaps tweek things then re-evaluate in the fall.
Maggie's Cappies
2020-06-17 18:28:04 +0000 UTCWait so you're low key diaper dependent? How do you do you interact with people socially? Does anyone notice?
Maggie's Cappies
2020-06-17 18:24:37 +0000 UTCIdk if people only saw it as a medical condition and nothing else, I'd 10000% do it. If everyone just didn't think it was a big deal, then I'd feel zero stress about having one on in public. People would expect it. While I, knowing I could be in regular panties, aren't because I'm living out a diaper fantasy.
Maggie's Cappies
2020-06-17 18:23:29 +0000 UTCI have a little, we'll call her Heather, who I've worked through unpotty training with. She's on her sixth year of diapers, now. It has not always been an easy ride for either of us. Let me caution you on a few things, and let me encourage you with a few things, should you choose to keep going: Caution: 1) If you keep going, you may have times that you feel repulsed or trapped by your decision. Re-potty training yourself, once you do this, is very hard. Heather tried for several months one time to no avail. Consider this decision exactly what you said: permanent. 2) There are uncomfortable and awkward situations you may have to deal with, including those regarding employment, medical care, and family. Your diapers will, as an above person said, be known as a medical problem. That may come with guilt you have to take on. You will also possibly find yourself exposing this fetish in such scenarios in public spaces, but as a matter of biological necessity. This is a weird grey area to avoid at all costs IMO. 3) The cost is not incredibly burdensome, but if you want //the good shit//, then it gets expensive. If you want premium ABDL diapers and not Goodnites, know you will be pouring a lot of resources into that and is another way you can end up feeling trapped. There is also some environmental impacts from using that many ABDL diapers, and you may or may not feel guilt about such things. Encouragements: 1) Sexually, wow, it's still powerful for us to realize that she is TRULY diaper-dependent. She couldn't leave diapers if she tried, and she has. She is NOT potty trained, and that's hot AF. That's a battery that in our experience, doesn't dwindle, as long as you aren't feeling that trapped feeling. For you, I could see the added benefit of becoming one of the girls in your stories, whose Patronners locked her into a life of neverending diaper changes. <3 2) In some ways it does make life MORE convenient. Who doesn't enjoy just tinkling when you want to tinkle? Traveling becomes different but I would say easier on the whole. In many other ways, as an above poster says, it's not a big difference in your life one way or the other, but at the same time you will always carry it with you. 3) You may feel a connection to a personal identity or longing that you can only fully realize by being diaper dependent, and there is REAL value in that! It can make you happier in the many other things you go about your life doing. Heather doesn't regret her choice--usually. She's happy being the biggest baby she can be. But give it careful thought. You are right that it is a consequential decision. I would not make it for myself.
Starstorm
2020-06-17 18:22:56 +0000 UTCHmmm... Interesting! So I'd be 100% diaper dependent... Then you guys offer me challenges as I go through essentially a 2nd potty training? Would people be into that?
Maggie's Cappies
2020-06-17 18:20:00 +0000 UTCYou’ve gone this far! It’s almost like this moment in your history will be memorable either way... whats the harm in keeping it going? Do it until you stop loving it... then if you’ve gone too far, a potty training challenge would be really fun too! We need to keep life interesting and our sexual spirit alive:)
2020-06-17 18:09:40 +0000 UTCI have a friend who's entirely diaper dependent, its cost isnt exactly great financially but in terms of life it hasn't made a big impact. Most people who he has chosen to share it with know it as just an aspect about him, and nothing more. Like you said it just becomes a medical condition and that's it. He already had a medical condition but he just kindof leaned into it and allowed himself to not be so stressed out about it. I think if u feel good in it and ur willing to put up the consequences eventually it will be nbd. But the question becomes are you really willing to put up the consequences for a solid period of time?
2020-06-17 17:33:45 +0000 UTCThis is a very heavy topic despite the fact that a lot of us here are diaper lovers. I find that you are probably closest to having trained yourself into diapers then most of us here, as someone who has gone through that and kept to the diapers it has changed my life dramatically. I work at a non wovens factory and I have to wear two adult pull ups at least in order to help. It is very difficult no doubt but I have to say that I do enjoy feeling like this is who I am. It is why I connect with your stories so much because I have gone down that road and it has been a wonderful journey, as for you it is hard to say but I genuinely have to say that it is rewarding actually an there is such an acceptive community with wearing an needing diapers
Dillon Schultz
2020-06-17 17:26:48 +0000 UTCIncredible question to ask. As you mentioned I feel like most people who follow you will say "dive into the deep end of dependency." As a Daddy Dom with a diaper fetish, Ive wondered if I was dating someone and we got to this point what I would push for. I really cant say not being in the position myself, I dont fully understand the nuances that you do. I would say reflect on everything and ask yourself if you're happier either way. Maybe set a target date for like the fall and reevaluate? If you decide then its just not what you really want then start potty training and reserve diaper play for random occasions. I'm not sure but hope this helps!
Nathan Johnson
2020-06-17 17:15:19 +0000 UTC
