Sasuke vs Warring Clans Era

Sasuke civilizes the Uchiha

Wherein Sasuke follows Aiko back to the warring clans era and is massively unimpressed with his ancestors.

(Sidenote that Aiko absolutely would not get assassinated with Sasuke's paranoid ass there, so the story would divert a lot on that day.)

Izuna found himself face to face with his own face. It twisted in contempt.

'Scary. Do I look like that when I'm mad?'

He took a shunshin step back. The sake sloshed. Izuna hugged it to his chest in a way which was very much not ready for fight or flight. His brother would have been disappointed, but he would also probably have been at least a bit intimidated by the heat of that contempt.

"Aiko," his evil twin said, dark eyes lidded heavily with distaste. "Come and see what the wind has brought us."

'My voice is better,' Izuna decided. 'He sounds somewhat stiff. Mine is mellifluous.'

The door slid open. Izuna glanced over and felt his breath catch. The sunlight caught on orange-red hair and glittered where it fell down the pure white shirt on her back. The priestess had eyes as dark as any Uchiha. They fixed on him and her lips turned up into a smile.

His heartbeat picked up. The priestess was pretty. Not pretty like an Uchiha, but in a wild, vibrant way.

'She looks like a story,' he thought longingly. 'What material is her outfit even made out of? It's meant to be cheap, but the gloss on that… does she have custom silk uniforms?'

So glamorous. Izuna swallowed, hard. He tried to look cooly unaffected.

His body double made a 'tch' sound that somehow conveyed disgust. "No taste," he said, apropos of nothing. He shook his head and looked upwards. "Itachi was right." He turned on his heel and stalked into the shrine.

The priestess watched him go with narrowed eyes. Then she turned a little smile on Izuna. "Why don't you come in, Uchiha-san?"

'I didn't tell her who I am,' Izuna thought. He registered the anomaly, and then immediately forgot to react by being cautious. He flashed his brightest grin and bowed at her. "I would love to. I brought this for you, it's nothing interesting but…" He proffered the jug and stole a glance at her hands as she reached out to take it. She had nice hands, well-proportioned with clean nails.

Wait.

He squinted. There was a faint scar across the back of two of her fingertips.

Weird.

The priestess took the sake with no waver or hitch to hint that the weight of ceramic and liquid had registered to her as heavier than her sleeves. He blinked. "Thank you," she said, still looking at him with what might have been amusement. "After you."

He glanced over his left shoulder. He didn't see anything interesting.

"Enter, please," she patiently said, still waiting by the open door.

Ohhhh.

Izuna brushed past her and took off his sandals before stepping up out of the genkan. "Please excuse me," he said by rote. He made eye contact with his twin. The other man was already seated at a low table, watching him enter. He probably should have focused on charming the pretty priestess for grains, but he was busy wondering if maybe he had a maternal cousin who had never been mentioned.

It seemed rude to ask if they were cousins. He sat with that dilemma for a moment before a solution occurred.

"Have we met?" Izuna ventured. "You look like me."

"No, you look like me," the strange man said insolently. The priestess laughed, but he ignored it. "Why are you here?" He leaned forward slightly. His eyes glittered. They were just as dark as the priestess'.

"Uchiha Izuna," he said, expecting a different question. He'd gotten distracted by pretty eyes again. Wow, this guy looked like him. It was uncanny.

The priestess exchanged a look with him. "This is Sasuke," she said. "You know, like the Sarutobi. His family are big fans of the Sarutobi." He gave her a nasty glare. "Please take care of him."

"Of course," Izuna agreed easily. "As you say, priestess." He shrugged off the oddness of their resemblance and considered the mystery closed.

They couldn't be related. The Uchiha hate the Sarutobi.

Sasuke made a sound like an angry cat. He stood up and stalked to a sliding door. Izuna craned his neck to see that it opened up to an engawa. Sasuke slammed it shut behind him, cutting off the sunlight and fresh air.

What an odd man!

"Never mind him," said the priestess. Wow, she had pretty eyes. He was transfixed again. "Why have you come?"

He watched her pupils expand. It was hard to see the detail since her irises were also black. He refocused. The subtlety was sublime. It was so hard to see, probably most people had no idea where the pupil stopped.

…Oh.

He deactivated his sharingan. He could no longer see the difference. Izuna blinked back to reality and then registered the question. He looked at the table rather than the priestess, it was less distracting. "Rice," he said absently. "I'm here about rice. Big rice problem."

The priestess became very still. Her muscles seemed loose, as if she was ready to move. It telegraphed danger to his hindbrain.

That didn't make sense. She was just a civilian holy woman. His preservation instincts must have been overtaxed. He told himself to calm down.

He felt a line form in his forehead. "We've had more births this year than expected, which is a happy fact, but Madara-sama is concerned about our stores," Izuna continued slowly, a little cautious now. Did she have some kind of rice complex? Was it connected to her religion?

The dangerous tension slipped out of the priestess' body language. In fact, he'd probably just imagined it. "I see," she said. She tilted her head slightly and some hair slipped over her face. "You're here only on his behalf, then. No one else is involved?"

Izuna blinked at her. "Who else would be involved?" He asked, puzzled. "Rice is private business."

Sasuke let out a sharp, mean laugh from where he was eavesdropping.

"That's right," the priestess agreed. She shot a glare at the engawa. "Rice is private business. If anyone tries to talk to you about it, just end the conversation."

"....yes," Izuna said, not sure where this was going.

"We can provide some rice on that condition," the priestess decided. "Get your clan head to agree to a non involvement policy for any disputes regarding rice, and I'll provide your clan with what you need."

"That's suspiciously specific but will probably never become an issue," Izuna said, bemused. "That seems fine. I agree on his behalf."

Sasuke let out another sharp laugh. He pulled the door open and came back in. "I'm coming with you," he told Izuna. It felt more like an order than a request.

"To bring the rice?" Izuna asked. He was starting to feel a little overwhelmed by these strange and beautiful people.

The other man rolled his eyes. "To save you people from yourselves," he said grimly. "But yes, I'll bring some rice, and get that signature from Madara."

"Madara-sama," Izuna corrected helpfully.

Sasuke ignored him. "Aiko, stay here. Don't do anything."

"I'm definitely going to do something," she muttered resentfully.  

He rolled his eyes. "Stay here and get drunk with your dog friend."

The priestess pursed her lips, as if she wanted to argue but couldn't find something to dispute. "I will," she huffed. "It's going to be very nice."

Then Izuna found himself hauled up by a tight grip on his sleeve. He yelped and shook his arm, but couldn't dislodge Sasuke. "Let's go," Sasuke said grimly. "You need my help."

"Rice is heavy," Izuna agreed politely, still trying to twist away. "Sasuke-san is very kind."

"Have a nice trip." The priestess didn't stand up, only watched them from the table.

He waved goodbye to the priestess and nearly stumbled as he was dragged to his sandals. He hurriedly put them on and was yanked out the door with a shockingly strong grip.

"Sasuke-san, you don't have to hold onto me," he said, a little vexed. "I won't leave you, so don't worry so much."

"Yes, Sasuke," the priestess' sweet voice trailed out from the shrine. "Don't worry so much. He'll go slowly for you."

Sasuke let go of his sleeve and gave Izuna a murderous look. He stalked away.

…"What a strange person," Izuna said to himself, before moving to catch up. 

Xxxx

I'm not sure why this wanted to be written, but I thought someone else might like this. Please imagine Sasuke furiously sending the Uchiha to tea ceremony classes, yelling about germ theory, trying to teach basic reasoning skills, and hissing at anyone who comes too close.