It's Been One Week (since you left and made me ½ the Mizukage)

Or, Karin and Gaara stage a coup in Kirigakure.

I made a new tumblr account and was inspired to do this by someone who'd tagged me in a list of Gaara related recs, and decided to give it all to Patreon at once. Part one is already up on tumblr but you get part two at the same time.

It was pointed out to me that when Aiko left AIC verse, she didn't actually tell everyone she was leaving forever. Christ, what an ass.

From that thought, this short story emerged.

Part 1 of 2

"She didn't tell me anything." Karin crossed her arms. She immediately uncrossed them. It looked too defensive.

Her "brother" gave her a doleful stare. She ignored it, because all of his stares were like that. She began to pace in the kitchen, circling the island like the world's reddest shark. Her hair fluttered behind her. "I'm starting to think she's really not coming back this time."

"That is what her assistant said," that asshole Suigetsu said. He grabbed a peach out of the dwindling fruit basket and gave her a toothy grin. "You're going to have to be responsible for yourself now!"

"Shut up!" Karin scolded. Her jaw cracked. "Speak for yourself, you overgrown ingrate." She huffed. "I'm responsible for a whole lot more than myself already! I revitalized the arboretum!"

Even mad, she was smarter than to admit she'd also exposed and killed a traitor. That was over Suigetsu's clearance. It was probably over his head entirely. She lifted her nose.

"I don't know what those words mean." Suigetsu gave her a nasty little wink and sailed out the door.

Karin gritted her teeth. She deliberately unclenched her fists. She took one, two, three calming breaths.

"In Sunagakure, before Aiko-sama became my new mother."

She stared. She didn't dare move for fear it might stop the rare swell of unprompted words from Gaara.

He looked up at her finally, a line pressed in place between his brows. "I always knew I was the most fit to inherit, if Temari did not kill me first. Which one of us has become the Mizukage?"

"Well, I'm not killing you," Karin said, appalled. Then she thought about that and quickly amended, "and you're not killing me either." She resumed her pacing. When the answer appeared, she whirled back on her weird brother. "Both of us," she hissed victoriously. "If we are confident enough when we walk in there, no one is going to disagree."

It had always worked for Aiko, after all. She'd done much weirder things.

Gaara looked at her for a long second, weighing her words. He nodded solemnly.

So that was what they did. On Monday morning at 5:00, they entered the office of the Mizukage and started the coffee machine.

That took some doing, as neither one of them had operated a coffee machine in the past. But it had to be done. Aiko had talked about it often enough - I need to get in and start the coffee, oh we ran out of coffee early, etc etc.

What they made was…

"Bracing," the secretary said politely. He ushered them into their new office. "Here you go, welcome to the office."

"Our office," Karin said sharply.

Nishikawa-san inclined his head to her. He murmured something that might have been an affirmative, and he left quickly.

Karin put her hands on her hips and surveyed the office. Gaara drifted to the desk, trailing sand over documents. He stopped, picked one up, and squinted at it.

"What's that?" Karin asked, coming over to look.

Gaara shook his head, let sand lift the paper, and had it destroyed in his weird little sandball. "Evidence," he said gravely.

Ah. Karin nodded. "There's probably a lot of that," she sighed. She pushed up her glasses, wondering where to start. "About the drugs?"

Gaara shook his head.

"The coup in Wave?" She tried absently. She found a file of what appeared to be financial records going back years beyond Aiko-sama's tenure. That seemed useful as baseline knowledge.

"No," Gaara said again. Cooly, he added, "It was in regards to something called Crimetown."

Karin blinked, looking up from her tax records. "Crimetown? Can't be what it sounds like."

"A bit on the nose," Gaara agreed. He turned his face towards the door. He waited.

She didn't know what he was waiting for.

"Nishikawa-san," Gaara elaborated.

"Oh!" Karin crossed the office floor, flung the door open, and called out, "Nishikawa-san, what's Crimetown?"

He cleared his throat and loudly called back, "An initiative to relocate organized crime and illegitimate petting zoos to a district between Konoha and the Capital of the Fire Country."

"Okay," Karin said, because that was clear enough for her purposes. As she closed the door, she faintly heard a female voice say "an initiative to what?"

She turned back to Gaara. They made eye contact.

"She doesn't care for Konoha," Gaara offered after a moment.

Karin snorted. "Let's keep that one going, honestly."

"Not the drugs," Gaara said mildly.

She scoffed. "Definitely not," she agreed. "We don't have the means. But I think that there's actually a mission we can collect to stop the flow of drugs through bordering countries…" She trailed off, getting lost in background information while Gaara patiently assessed the current political state of affairs via reading Aiko-sama's correspondence and the ongoing missions.

"Wave," Gaara said. It was so long after silence had fallen that it took her a while to realize what he was saying.

"That's legitimate enough," Karin said absently. "She went through local intermediaries, didn't actually choose the new leader, and now she's gone so that's a lot of plausible deniability."

Gaara grunted and put a disconcertingly thick envelope in a shorter pile. At a glance, Karin would say it was probably full of cash. Morbid curiosity got the better of her. "What's that for?" She asked, pointing at it.

Her brother had definitely already read it. Still, he looked at the notation one more time before bluntly saying "Pencils."

She blinked furiously. "Pen- that looks like a lot of money!"

"A chuunin's yearly salary," Gaara concurred. He looked disturbed.

There was nothing more to say about it. They finished the inventory in a troubled silence. They sent off the envelope for 40000000 yen in pencils.

"The worst part," Gaara said contemplatively, "is that I suspect pencil is not a code."

She swallowed. "Yeah," Karin agreed. They just had to live with that knowledge now.

At least it probably came from drug running money. It would just be sad if real work was funding that. It had to be a bribe, right?

"Oh, shit," Karin realized. She ran a hand down her face. "We might need some new, big income streams."

"Or more surprise unpaid secret diplomats," Gaara murmured. He drifted away before she could find the moral strength to say that they would not be copying that particular crime. Konoha already knew about it: getting away with it once was probably a fluke.

'They were super helpful, though. And a funny fuck you to Konoha.'

It was something to keep in mind.

They had challenges. First off all, they were both foreign nationals.

Karin scoffed at the councilor who brought that complaint. "Aiko-sama was the Hokage's daughter and retained Fire Country citizenship."

The tremendously old man looked at her. ".... Which Hokage?" He wondered.

Karin judged him pretty hard. "All but one of them were way too old to even be an adult's Dad," she said flatly. "Obviously, the Yondaime Hokage was Aiko-sama's Dad. She's not gone and died of old age, she just left us all forever for personal reasons."

He looked offended as he left.

The next type of challenge was to their qualifications. Neither was a Jounin in good standing, and Karin didn't have much international reputation.

"Nepotism," Gaara said flatly. "The relevant qualification is nepotism." He went back to very expensive order forms for a seal of office. It was proving difficult to commission. They were considering the argument that impersonating Aiko would be not only in her spirit but a fitting tribute.

The concerned office worker gave him an extremely tired look over her box of submitted complaints. "Aiko-sama did enjoy that," she allowed. "I'll see if that answer makes this stop."

The true test came 2 days into their self declared tenure, when Terumi Mei threw open the door to the office and narrowed her eyes at them. "Obviously you are not the Mizukage," she said. She was looking at Gaara. “You are barely more than an infant.”

"Of course not," Karin said absently. She was reading hospital budget requests. "He's half."

"Get out of my office," Terumi said flatly. "I'm her successor. She told me."

Ridiculous.

Karin put her papers down and made eye contact. "Did she tell anyone else that?" She challenged. She put as much condescension into her voice as possible.

The moment stretched on. Terumi seemed to be struggling with a twitching eye muscle.

Karin raised an eyebrow.

"Fuck," Terumi hissed, quietly and with feeling.

Part 2 of 2

"I'll give you promotions," Terumi bartered.

"I would love that." Karin felt her own smile become toothy. "Not being Jounin was one of the critiques of our appointment. There’s debate over whether or not we can promote ourselves."

"Promotion to chuunin," Terumi said through her teeth.

Karin couldn't even respond. She gave the Jounin a pitying look.

"We are already chuunin," Gaara said. To Terumi, he must have sounded impassive. Karin could hear the amusement.

The redhead's eyes went wide. "She made foreign nationals into Kirigakure chuunin?"

Gaara’s judgmental silence took a blacker twist.

“I really would,” Terumi said smoothly. She put her hands up. “You’re lunatics and I’m desperate to be rid of you so I can get to work.”

“We have a mission you can take,” Gaara said. He crossed his arms and a tendril of sand lifted up a piece of paper behind him. “We need to make diplomatic contact with the head Yakuza in Iron Country.”

Terumi’s stare was blank.

“To help arrange Konoha citizenship for them,” he helpfully clarified.

She turned and left the office. But that wasn’t the end of it. She started a vicious campaign against them in the public eye and in the office of the Mizukage itself. Terumi played dirty.

“They’re twelve,” she said flatly. “Look at them. They’re still in children’s size shoes. They cannot possibly be military dictators.”

“Only one dictator,” Nishikawa-san said helpfully. He dropped three mugs into the office where the three of them were working. Terumi snatched up the coffee and scowled at the mint and chamomile teas that remained. “Collectively, they are claiming to equal one Kage. They are also 13 and 14 respectively. They are merely small.”

“Thank you,” Terumi said, in a tone that sounded rather more like “Die in a hole”. “There is no precedent for the sharing of office, nor chuunin leadership.”

“If only Aiko-sama had told someone other than you what you claim she decided,” Gaara murmured. He was enjoying this. Nishikawa-san left quietly, bowing as he slid the office door shut.

Terumi gritted her jaw. She did not respond.

Karin thought that was good progress on her part, honestly. She passed Terumi the graph she’d made detailing the last 20 years of rice imports and harvests as a reward. “Here you go,” she said kindly. “If you want to help, you should know more about what’s going on.”

There was a flare of evil intent. Karin felt her shoulders creep up to her neck. Without looking up, Gaara flared his sand raccoon anger right back. Karin relaxed.

Terumi subsided, but she seemed quietly furious. She did, however, pick up the data and begin to study it.

Utakata-san drifted into the office in a dark cloud. Karin barely noticed. He’d just been like that lately.

“Utakata-san,” Terumi said brightly. “Surely Uzumaki-sama talked to you about her plans for a successor.”

He dropped their takeout on the desk and regarded her. “Nothing matters anymore,” he said bleakly, and left the office.

Gaara smiled faintly.

Karin thought that was the end of it. Terumi would settle back into her role as an advisor. She would abandon her ambitions and use her experience for the good of the country. Instead, however, the vicious bitch resorted to something so heinous that it was wholly unprecedented.

“Democracy?” Gaara repeated, disgusted. It sounded like he meant to say something more like “a mesh sack of rotten chicken livers.”

“You pushed me to this,” Terumi said darkly. She dropped the file she was holding and tossed her hair in defiance. “I hope you know that.” She turned on her heel and left the office.

The idea of voting for leadership was, frankly, a ridiculous and dangerous precedent that Terumi would probably be assassinated for putting into motion. Terumi must have done a lot of groundwork to introduce the concept before Karin and Gaara caught wind of it, because there was an odd sense of excitement among the citizens.

Voting was restricted to upper ranked nin and genin of one year or more of service. As the votes trickled in, Karin alternately felt her nerves heighten and relief creep in. It was neck and neck.

In the end, the vote was so close that it couldn’t be called. When the result was called Terumi abruptly stood and said words so foul that Karin had never heard them before. Gaara quirked his head to the side and listened in silent fascination. She could all but see him making a mental list.

“We’ll cooperate for a while longer,” Terumi snarled. She snatched up the best big red pen that Aiko had left and pretended to be absorbed in work. She ignored the very large box of rather nice pencils that Nishikawa-san was trying to get everyone to use.

Karin felt gracious enough to let her have the good pen for the time being. She went back to her proposed funding for the universal basic income. There were two parts- UBI for Kirigakure citizens (to shut them up about injustice) and for Crimetown (to lure residents to Konaha’s outskirts). It was a careful balancing act that took her most of the week to perfect.

The issue of leadership resolved itself in the stupidest way possible.

“Oh no,” Nishikawa-san said. His voice cracked. He looked like he might cry. “Uzumaki-sama.” He bowed deeply.

“Welcome back,” Terumi said smoothly. Her grin was sharklike.

“Whatever,” Aiko-sama said. She flopped down onto the sofa and gave them all a judgmental stare.

That, Karin thought, was the most annoying thing about her. She had no self awareness.

“What is going on here?” Aiko-sama rested a hand on her face and watched them all.

She seemed different. Improbably different. Her body language was more open and relaxed, her hair was a good foot longer and twisted into a complicated style, and she was wearing …6, 6 layers of embroidered silk.

She was also faintly glowing. To Karin’s chakra sense, Aiko-sama registered something like a super intense version of a shrine.

Honestly, Karin didn’t care that much.

“Terumi-san has been doing her best to assume the office of Mizukage,” Karin tattletailed. She sniffed. “You won’t believe the filthy lengths she’s willing to resort to.”

Aiko-sama’s eyebrows shot up in intrigue.

“She attempted to institute democracy,” Gaara said darkly. A shadow seemed to pass over the room.

“Oh shit,” Aiko-sama said. She seemed vaguely impressed by how ghastly that was. “You’re really desperate, aren’t you?” The smile she leveled at Terumi-san was very unkind. “You were driven to democracy as a futile attempt to assert your dominance over two 10 year olds?”

“They’re 13 and 14,” Terumi-said stiffly.

“I know that,” Aiko-sama dismissed. She tilted her head. “I didn’t think that you did.” With a sigh, she levered her feet back down to the office rug. “In any case, there will not be any Democracy happening. Not on my watch.”

Karin stuck her tongue out at Terumi. The older woman’s face went dangerously white.

“Terumi-san is my successor,” Aiko-sama said easily. “It’s good old nepotism. No goddamn voting. Toss it out, and specifically announce that I said that it is struck from the record and that public opinion does not matter.” Nishikawa-san miserably began taking notes.

It took a few moments for the meaning to sink in.

“What,” Karin said flatly.

“Oh.” Gaara sounded vaguely disappointed. “Really?” The smallest bit of emotion crept onto his face. He indicated Terumi. “Are you certain?”

“I promised her,” Aiko-sama said easily. “In fact I’ve been planning that for a long time.” Her voice turned oddly nostalgic. “I owe Terumi-san more than she could realize.”

Terumi-san looked at her flatly. “You owe me a lot. You ruined my life for years and killed my partner.”

Aiko-sama made a careless gesture at her. “In any case, I’m kinda proud. How long has it been, two years?” She smiled at Gaara and Karin and ah, that felt nearly as good as success.

‘Wait, what? It’s been 8 days. Did she hit her head?’

Aiko was continuing, so there was no chance to ask her about it. “You managed to stave her off? If she didn’t simply kill you, you must have really gotten a positive foothold in public opinion quickly. That’s impressive.”

“Murdering children is looked down on in the modern world,” Terumi-san said, with a rote manner that implied she was quoting advice or a rule. “Kirigakure is going in a new direction.”

Karin felt a shiver run down her spine. She had the sudden realization that she might have been a little overly confident.

“This is all stupid, though,” Aiko-sama said conversationally. She gestured at Nishikawa-san. Miserably, he detached himself from the wall and stepped over to her. “You knew Terumi-san was my successor. Why didn’t you say anything?”

Terumi lunged at the secretary with fury in her eyes. A bodyguard leapt in between them. Over the sound of Terumi grappling with security, it was difficult to hear Nishikawa-san sigh.

“I didn’t know that Terumi-san would do a better job,” he admitted. He watched her attempts to murder him impassively. “They showed up to work days before she did, and this has been an unprecedented period of stability in Kirigakure’s history.”

Aiko snorted. “Embarrassing,” she told Terumi-san in a level tone. She stretched. “Where’s Utakata? I’m going to leave again, possibly for forever, and I want to check on if he’s coming with me.”

“He will,” Terumi-san said quickly. She stopped trying to murder and started looking very reasonable. “He’s been moping since you left. It’s insufferable.”

Aiko made a non committal sound and stood up. “Gaara, maybe you should go be Kazekage now,” she said, apropos of nothing. “It’s about that time, isn’t it?”

“Oh.” He blinked at her. “Is it? Shall I go kill Temari-neesan?” He sounded faintly distressed.

She snorted. “No,” Aiko said. “I don’t think that will be necessary. She doesn’t like the job because people talk to her. You won’t have that problem. And Karin- you can be Mizukage next,” she decided, as if she had any right whatsoever to make that decision for Terumi-san. Terumi looked affronted.

Karin chose to believe that Aiko-sama had that right. “Thank you,” she said smoothly. “I think I’ll do that, when I’m a little older. This was a good experience.” She stood and bowed to Terumi, Nishikawa, and Gaara. “It was very nice working with you.”

Nishikawa reciprocated the sentiment.

“Make the announcements,” Aiko-sama ordered Nishikawa-san. He bowed and said nothing. “Karin can be Mizukage sometime after she’s been Jounin for a while. Terumi-san, I'll leave the details up to you.”

Terumi-san narrowed her eyes at Karin. “She’s my office assistant now,” she decided. “I need more of those graphs.”

“I meant the details about her becoming Mizukage later,” Aiko-sama corrected.

“I know what you meant,” Terumi-san said darkly. She swept out of her new office. ‘I’m going to go get my damn hat so you can put it on me in front of a large group of people.”