The Lilliad chp 17

They hauled ass to the gate. Lilli climbed over a sticky corpse in her haste to bang on the wooden part of the structure. “Open up, let us out,” she bellowed.

“All is well, there is no cause for alarm,” Elathor added, kicking the gate. “So make haste and immediately release us.”

There was a pause. “I don’t think I believe you,” came the bemused reply from a guard.

Lilli craned her neck to see the approaching black cloud of katharsys. So far, nothing. The stillness was even more frightening than seeing enemies. She had the distinct sense that they were being watched. “I don’t see any more of the monsters,” she wheedled.

“Yes, but did you personally kill every single one of the beasts in there?” the guard reproached them. “We did tell you that you can’t come out unless it’s cleared.”

“It has been cleared,” the knight said. “I watched thousands of them drop dead from the sky.”

“Oh good, I’ll take your word for it and open the gate, dooming the city if you’ve missed one, making myself responsible for thousands of deaths and probably getting fired.”

“Yes, thank you,” Elathor called.

“He was not serious,” came the other guard’s voice. “You may not leave. We will not open the gate unless a trusted authority can verify that it is safe.”

“Doing otherwise would be incredibly irresponsible,” his coworker agreed. “I take my job seriously.”

“Damn you,” Elathor said in an undertone. His tail flicked. “The worst kinds of people.”

The knight tilted their visored head at Elathor, puzzled. Lilli ignored it, and took a deep breath. She deliberately calmed her voice and thought of all the times she’d talked someone into doing her a favor. She had been told that she could sell anything. “Don’t you trust the knight?” She asked, sounding sensible. “If this place was truly infested, they would not be here to speak to you. And surely they would not lie.”

“Oh, is that who that was?” a guard said, contemplative.

“Yes,” Lilli pushed. “Who is more trustworthy than a knight? They  told the truth- my companion cast a spell that made thousands of the enemy fall in a heartbeat.”

“Hmm.” There were some whispers, and a pause.

She felt hope begin to rise in her chest. She glanced back. As of yet, there was still no sign of movement or regrouping. Maybe they had done it after all. It wasn’t impossible that every katharys was dead.

“What knight?” The guard asked.

“What knight?” Lilli repeated, affronted. “The virtuous and entirely respectable-” she glanced at him.

“Sir Alcuin,” he said.

“Sir Alcuin,” Lilli repeated. “Veteran of many battles, defender of the hopeless, of the house of-”

“Lord Wintra,” he supplied.

“Lord Wintra, who all know and respect for his charity and the noble deeds of his house.” Lilli flourished. “Would such a knight give false testimony? Would such a person risk damning the city they defend?”

“Probably not,” one guard said, quietly enough that Lilli thought they weren’t meant to hear it. “All do know of Lord Wintra’s charity.”

“Of course,” his coworker agreed. “He houses the sick and feeds the poor.”

“Entirely respectable,” guard one agreed. Their voices dropped low enough that Lilli couldn’t hear anymore.

Elathor gave Lilli an extremely supportive thumbs-up gesture. She grinned back at him, feeling ecstatic. “You should hurry,” Elathor hissed in an undertone. “They are definitely coming.” They giggled nervously.

The smile fell off her face.

“That’s a very good point,” the guard finally allowed. “I am still not opening the gate.”

“Fuck this,” Igni sighed, and punched a hole straight through the gate.

A guard screamed, high and shrill.

Lilli stared.

“Oh, right,” Elathor said. “I forgot that you could do that.”

“Quite.” Igni kicked the gate, widening the hole enough for anyone else to scramble through.

“This is not allowed,” a guard bellowed frantically. “Cease! Cease and desist!”

Lilli peered through the hole to see that both guards were brandishing swords.

“Oh.” Igni hummed. “I did not know that it was not allowed. Please forgive me. I will not make any more holes,” they said, and then continued to widen the current hole.

A guard shrieked and was promptly ignored.

“We are going to be fired,” the other one said, sounding dazed. “I am going to lose my health insurance.”

“Your healthcare is tied to your employer?” Elathor asked, picking their way elegantly through the rubble. They dodged a swordstrike from the guard who was now outright weeping in hysteria.

“Yes,” the guard bellowed, dropping their sword. “I was going to have my teeth straightened.”

Lilli tilted her head in confusion. She nonetheless finished scrambling over the devastated gate and into the relative safety of the cleared zone ringing the condemned district.

“Lord Wintra offers a competitive plan,” Knight Alcuin said, sounding extremely apologetic. “Perhaps…”

Elathor snorted. “Forget that,” they said. Their eyes narrowed on the guards. “I am magical beyond any dentist of your dreams. Join us, and I will be your healthcare provider.”

“Elathor fixed me after injuries,” Lilli contributed to the discussion. “I thought I was dead. I was bleeding a lot.”

The guard’s crying slowed down and then petered off. “Do you do ocular? And is there a family plan? I have three kids and they all need glasses.”

“They will have perfect vision!” Elathor bellowed. “They will be able to see beyond the boundaries of space and time if you pledge yourselves to me!”

“I don’t think they need that, they’re toddlers.” The guards looked at each other and sheathed their swords. “I’d settle for knowing they won’t fall into any more holes,” the family man said.

“It’s a done deal,” Elathor hissed. “Your families will be so healthy that others will be ill with envy.”

“I’m single, actually,” said the other guard, but nodded. “Alright. We should leave, before my boss comes. I hope they think we’re dead.”

Lilli looked up at the sky. In the distance, it was black with monsters. “I think they’re going to assume that.”

“Entirely plausible.” Elathor sighed, satisfied. “We should escape now, or we will all die. But first…” They waved their hands and a blast of hot air rocked the vicinity.

Incredulous, Lilli looked at the nearby guard tower, which was now on fire. The fire was green.

“It would be irresponsible not to draw attention to the problem,” they said sensibly. “Now, make haste to that sewer hatch. It is the most direct route.”

Lilli felt her jaw drop. “Wait,” she said. “That- would there be a sewer inside the slum? Could we have gotten out that way?”

“Oh,” the family man said. He sounded extremely discomfited. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Didn’t think about that at all,” his single coworker agreed.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Elathor sighed. They were already trying to pry up the metal hatch with too-delicate claws. “There wasn’t any plumbing in the slums.”

There was a roar of excited shrieks in the distance. The katharys had apparently noticed the gate had been opened. Lilli hurried up to pry open the sewer hatch. Elathor immediately slithered inside without a word of thanks and landed with a wet plop in the darkness. There was another whoosh and then a green light, that thankfully was not a fire in the sewer. She grimaced and jumped in after. All their companions followed suit until Igni was the only one left peering down.

“Oh, no,” Lilli said, horror creeping over. “You won’t fit. I-”

Igni sighed, loud and irritated. “I am not in any danger,” they said. “If you have not noticed, I do not possess any organs which I grew myself. There is nothing for the smelly birds to take. I will meet you there.” They paused. “Where are we going?”

“To the rich man,” Elathor said, and then pad-pad-padded away post haste into the gloom.

“The house of my patron, Lord Wintra,” the knight added. “Be well, friend.”

“I have never been in any danger,” Igni said bitterly, and gave a stretch. “Goodbye, frail ones. I will meet you later, if I am not bored.”

And so they separated.