AIC extra content

“There’s something off with him.”

Asuma snorted and flicked his cigarette. “What isn’t?”

Genma heaved a huge, put upon sigh, like the drama queen he was. “He’s taking initiative for missions. If it was anyone else, I’d say he’s trying to expand his international reputation, gunning for some type of political assignment. But.”

He didn’t have to finish. “Hatake would chew off his own feet to escape that type of responsibility.” Asuma frowned. “Maybe it has something to do with-” He faltered and coughed. “The Yondaime.” His voice was a little high. That was still hard to integrate into his worldview.

They watched the man in question slouch out of the mission office with a gold lined scroll. Diplomatic assignment. 

“Where is he going?” 

Genma slid off his seat on the countertop. “Let’s find out.” The silently fuming office worker instantly moved her stack of books where he had been to prevent him sitting there again. He paid no attention, giving a little stretch. “Time to be social, Hatake.”

20 feet away, the other man twitched his face up from his cheap romance novel and gave Gemna a concerned look. 

Genma smiled back.

Hatake bolted, like the flighty little deer he was deep down.

They followed. 

But the little bastard was slippery. He managed to lose them in the fish market. Genma admitted defeat and decided to resort to the worst thing he could think of: politely asking.

“I can’t tell you that.” The chuunin gave him a seriously unimpressed look. “There’s a term for this…” She looked up and scrunched her face. She snapped her fingers. “Right,” she said cheerfully. “It’s called “none of your fucking business.” 

He opened his mouth to try to smooth it over, already putting on the smolder. 

“Nakamura-san,” another office worker sang. He waived a clear folder as he flounced up to the desk. “I have the monthly reports.” 

“So early!” She said. Her brown eyes crinkled at the corners when she smiled. “You’re a dream.”

Genma smiled, too, because an improved mood could only help.

Ms Nakamura noticed. Her expression flattened. “Shiranui-san,” she said. 

He gave her the low-lidded expression that melted hearts and opened all kinds of doors. “Yes?”

“Leave.” 

He blinked.

She turned completely away from him to continue chatting with her coworker. 

“No respect,” Genma muttered. He straightened his back and wheeled away. Asuma was waiting against the wall. 

“No luck?” 

He sighed and held out his palms. 

Asuma hummed. “That sucks,” he said. He watched without comment as Gemna stalked over to the plastic box labeled “How did we do?” and began filling out a survey with a dark expression. He put it in the black box with a flourish and cast a victorious look back at the chuunin.

She cheerfully flipped him off. 

“Anyway,” Asuma said, before Genma could get out another survey. “ I have a theory. Just based on what’s going on, I’d guess he’s being posted to Kirigakure. That’s the only place that’s really moving outside of the norm, and clearly something out of the norm prompted this.” 

“That holds together,” Genma agreed. “Plus, they’ve been such a shitshow for so long that they’ve barely been involved in international affairs. Might be the only country where less than 60% of the population wants Hatake dead.”

“Other than Fire country and our allies,” Asuma corrected.

“I said what I said.” Genma rolled his eyes. “That fucker is annoying.” 

So of course they went to his apartment. It was unlocked, because he was a nightmare who lived to give his comrades ulcers. 

“Yo,” Pakkun said. He was on the exact center of the couch. He had clearly been busy licking his feet before they entered. One leg was still hovering by his mouth. “Boss is out.”

“We all know you’re the boss,” Asuma snorted. 

Pakkun gave them a little smile. He did not comment. 

“We came here to get information about Kakashi,” Genma said. He tossed his hair. “He’s acting off and I bet there’s something really embarrassing going on. Gotta know what it is.”

“Ooooh, I’m interested.” Pakkun shook himself and then leapt off the sofa. “Let’s see, let’s see.” He walked in circles. “Hmmmm.” He sat down again. “Well. Of course he’s pretty worked up about the Yondaime being back.” He nodded wisely. “Been to see him every day, I think. Before Orochimaru was dead, he was afraid the Hokage was gonna go bye-bye. But now he’s calmed down.”

“I didn’t want to feel bad,” Genma said, horrified. “This isn’t funny.”

Pakkun pointed at him with a paw. “Wait a second, will you?” 

Genma shrunk back.

“He’s fixated on that water woman.” Pakkun mused. “Maybe that’s your answer. He’s been off since she entered the picture.”

“Water woman-” Genma blinked. “The Mizukage?” 

Asuma hummed. “You’re better acquainted with her than I am,” he said dryly. “Impression?”

“Hot,” Genma said.

The look he got in return was exasperated. “I highly doubt that Hatake is acting so off because…” Asuma trailed off. His eyes widened. He looked delighted. “Do you think there’s a chance he’s into the Mizukage? He requested a mission to Kiri to be near her?”

Pakkun barked a laugh. “She did beat him really bad.”

“Is that a no?” Asuma was intent. 

The little dog shook his head. “Nah, I bet he’d be into that.” 

“She’s crazy,” Genma said, doubtful. “I don’t think she’s malicious, exactly, but she doesn’t act normal. Did you see the way she acted with Orochimaru in the crush? And the unnecessary subterfuge of pretending to be a regular Jounin teacher to get in when she could have netted an official invitation.”

Asuma and the dog exchanged a long, considering look. “Crazy but not malicious does seem like Kakashi’s type,” Pakkun offered. “If I had to guess. He can be hard to read, but he wouldn’t do anything stable like fall for a nice young lady who was emotionally available. A politically impossible infatuation with an insufferably mysterious woman who saved his father figure-”

“It’s a crappy romance novel plot,” Asuma agreed. 

“Oh, damn,” Genma said. He whistled. Then he frowned. “Then maybe it was a little tasteless of me to kiss and tell to him.” He furrowed his brow. “Think that’s why he told me I’m a dirty slug of a man?” 

Asuma shrugged. “You deserve that in general. But yeah, maybe that prompted it.”