Queen Of Hearts: Part 3

~We are never, ever, ever

Getting back together~

The makeup store in the mall wasn’t a place that Mia usually found herself on the regular, but she decided that her old makeup collection needed a bit of updating and trying new things was becoming the theme of her “New Me Recipe.” The idea was that on certain days, she would think of something that was generally considered a thing that pretty, popular girls did but she normally wouldn’t. From there she would make a plan to do it no matter how awkward or uncomfortable she felt in the process. It was a bit draconic in principal and the odds of her simply letting herself not do it were high, but that was why she needed to get out there and make friends who would keep her honest about turning herself around. Even if that meant subjecting herself to Taylor Swift in 

Today’s activity was to buy girly makeup. Granted, “girly” very often translated into “meant for white girls” but she wasn’t going to let that stop her from picking out something in a brighter palette than normal. Mia *had* makeup, but it was usually drug store brand and quality and only ever in darker colors left over from her high school goth phase. This time around, she was resolved to find enough to give her a brighter look that told men she was fun and cute instead of dark and gloomy.

She picked out a few items in pinks and reds after forcing herself to put down the dark plum lipstick that she immediately gravitated towards the moment she saw it out of the corner of her eye. Unfortunately for her, it was in every way the very thing she was trying to get away from despite it being the one that she actually thought would look good on her.

Mia felt proud of herself in a way when she walked up to the counter. A trip like this would have been previously trampled by the nagging voice in her head saying that she was too fat, ugly, and awkward to even be seen outside of her own home let alone trying to make more people look at her.

“I guess Aura Inc. really is the shit.” She thought as she set her items on the counter.

Her heart was still pounding out of her chest, but Mia was overjoyed at her ability to even stand in line and pay for such bold items without running away from shyness.

“Ooh, girl you are gonna look SOO cute…” Chirped the cashier, a tiny blonde with curly hair and a not unattractive nose stud pulling attention to her bright blue eyes. “Trust me, I started experimenting with bright colors a couple years ago and it was just like….super fun. And if you don’t know what to try, there’s like a million makeup tutorials out there. You’re gonna fucking slayyyyy out there.”

Mia didn’t know what to say. To hear such encouragement from such a teenybopping cutie was such high praise that Mia didn’t know whether to thank her or just cry. Instead, she found herself smiling widely at the girl and nodding for fear that speaking would cause her to choke up.

(1)

She walked out happily, but was eager to get home. Just that little bit of an excursion was rapidly becoming more than what she had the social battery for, leaving her fidgety and feeling too nervous to go into the other stores she’d put on her list to try and buy something from. In keeping with her goal of getting new makeup Mia also wanted to buy some more flashy outfits to help her stand out. That, she decided, was probably not going to happen that day, but she felt that even having only picked up eyeshadows and lipsticks the trip had been a roaring success.

“Oh my god, Mia? Hey!!” A familiar voice called out.

Mia nearly jumped out of her skin at suddenly hearing her name called out in the open, but her horrified grimace turned to a sudden burst of enthusiasm when she found Trinh beaming at her from across the mall. Once the two made eye contact, both Mia and the slender Asian girl began jumping up and down, waving at each other ecstatically. She began to walk towards her friend, but very quickly noticed just how much Trinh had seemed to have changed in just a few months. Her hair had grown out a bit and every time the two had run into each other in passing she had been wearing a full face of makeup. Trinh’s outfits weren’t necessarily what Mia would call daring, but they had just the right mix of oriental classiness and confidently cute. She strode over on long, thin legs, making Mia all the more aware of her porky waddle. What was strangest though was that Mia had figured that Trinh being out and about in the sun would have deepened her already golden tan complexion, but instead her skin tone looked lighter?

(2)

“Oh my god, what’s UP?!” Trinh gushed, visibly delighted to see her friend out and about.

Mia blushed from embarrassment, holding her makeup bag in both hands as she rolled her shoulders forward and swiveled from side to side. “I’m just…I dunno. Tryin somethin new I guess….”

Trinh flashed a knowing smile.

“Sorry we haven’t gotten to talk much at Aura. I usually go in for my session just as you’re getting out of yours, so we kinda miss each other. But hey! I’m done shopping if you wanna hang out and stuff?”

“Oh…Yeah, I actually still have to hit up Macy’s so I’ll be while still.” Mia said, feeling increasingly inferior to the thinner and in her opinion, prettier girl standing in front of her.

Her excuse to not hang out was either blatantly ignored or went completely over Trinh’s head. Mia couldn’t tell which.

“Ooh, clothes shopping? No problem! We should totally pick out outfits and stuff! I saw some things when I was in Forever 21 that would honestly look SO good on you!”

Mia grimaced slightly before taking a breath and yielding to the admittedly uplifting energy her friend was radiating.

“Alright…Sure. But we gotta get lunch after.” Mia said, smiling in spite of herself.

“You call that lunch??” Trinh asked, playfully aghast at the large, but very green salad Mia held in her lap.

The two had ended up going to not just one or two, but five stores in search of cute clothes for both of them to wear. Originally Trinh had insisted it was all for Mia, but very quickly changed her mind when they found a particularly cute pink top and a pair of denim shorts that she absolutely HAD to have. On her end, Mia bought several outfits that she thought were cute but couldn’t actually wear. As they shopped they discussed the recent surges in their confidence levels with Mia letting it slip that after a few sessions at Aura Inc. she’d been overtaken by the desire to slim down. Trinh apparently had the opposite epiphany over the course of her treatments and was moving to take better care of herself and eat a bit more to get rid of the emaciated street urchin look she used to sport all the time.

“Yeah, girl. You got the easy job. All you gotta do is treat yo’self a little more and you’ll be drowning in guys. I actually gotta diet and exercise to get even close to where you’re at.” Mia said popping a forkful of veggies and leaves into her mouth and enjoying the satisfying crunch that followed.

“Honestly it’s not even that bad. I used to hate stuff like this, but ever since I started going to Aura and getting my little hypnosis meditation thing going, I’ve kicked sugar and am able to make healthier choices without feeling like I’m chewing on grass and cardboard all the time. Then when I do get my little extra treat, I’m not all burnt out on sugar so it tastes EXTRA nice and I’m about it.” Mia explained, now changed into a more comfortable outfit comprised of mainly underwear that was also more provocative than she’d normally wear.

(3)

Being in a state of undress was never really that big a deal to Mia when it came to Trinh, and vice versa. They had a history of usually being the only two socially awkward women of color in the room at any given time and thus had bonded pretty deeply, pretty quickly. It wasn’t uncommon for the two of them to be lying around in their underwear on a hot day or half asleep on each other’s shoulders during movies that they both insisted they were awake to watch. Now that the two of them were both on their own prospective journies of self discovery, Mia couldn’t help but feel a little insecure about the weight difference between them.

Mia had already resolved to not go into any clothing stores at the mall, but ended up doing so anyways once Trinh practically dragged her by the hand into the first one. They tried on some items with the slender Vietnamese girl even wearing her new pink top out of the store, but in the end Trinh convinced her fat friend to take her transformation to the next level by only allowing herself to buy clothes that were several sizes too small in order to motivate herself to lose enough weight to be able to fit in them comfortably. When she had said it, a strange sort of mania overtook the dark skinned woman, making her feel compelled to take up the challenge. One by one she threw item after item in the cart, each one two to four sizes smaller than the ones she’d left the house in. It was a good feeling. So good that she wasn’t sure if she could have convinced herself to put her foot down and say no to them if she wanted.

“Sooooo….How’s the dating thing been going?” Trinh asked, carefully nursing her third cupcake so as to not smudge and end up eating the new ruby red lipstick that Mia’d let her try on.

(4)

“It’s…..going. I’m running into a lot of creepers and fetishy guys who kinda only like me for shallow reasons? Some only want me because I’m fat. Others only want me because I’m black. And some of them are just looking to send me pictures of their dick and hope that that convinces me to send them nudes myself. So not a lot of success there, but I think that as I continue to improve myself I’ll have more options available.” Mia said with a hint of exasperation towards the matter.

“What about you? Any luck finding Don Juan?”

Trinh grinned, but looked away for a moment. She and Mia often joked about the fact that every man Trinh had a crush on was a tall, often times skinny hispanic guy. Facial hair was a plus and the more of a Spanish guitarist vibe he gave off the better. Mia jokingly nicknamed the archetype Don Juan upon noticing the pattern, but it ended up sticking.

“Actually…..I think I’m over the whole Don Juan thing…” Trinh said, uncertainty seeping into her voice for the first time that day.

Mia was almost glad to see that Trinh hadn’t suddenly just become a paragon of confidence and beauty, but she noticed the sudden increase in self-doubt all the same.

“Really? Something happen?” Mia asked, leaning forward and setting her half-eaten salad bowl on the ground.

Trinh sighed, now seemingly unable to maintain eye contact; an old bad habit that she’d apparently not completely rid herself of over the course of her treatment.

“I dunno. I just haven’t been finding myself attracted to latinos lately. They totally used to drive me up fucking trees but now I’ve gone a couple dates with some I’ve met online and they’re just….meh.”

“Ouch. Well that sucks.” Mia said, her happy grin sliding into an uneven, slanted frown.

“….Well, not really…..” Trinh continued, her voice once again as meek and low as Mia had remembered it being in years past. “I think I’m actually starting to get a thing for white guys?”

Mia’s eyes went wide. She didn’t have a personal hatred for white people on a personal level, but in the past both she and Trinh had found Caucasian men to be the blandest, most entitled, and often times rudest humans on the entire planet. They were historically problems for both of their cultures and there was a silent pact of solidarity between the two women that they would stand against white males being considered a default existence while sharing a general distaste for them.

“Wait, fucking really?” Mia asked, shocked not only at her lack of disgust at her friend for saying it, but at her own lack of disgust towards the subject. Her heart quickened at the idea of her best friend suddenly becoming romantically or at least sexually interested in the one demographic the both of them effectively swore off.

“Omg. Tell me everything.”