The Many Ways I Blow Up

Sunday

Allergy season has struck, so this morning I had a bad case of the sniffles. I took some medicine the first thing, but it kind of takes a minute to kick in. In the meantime, I decided to blow my nose clean of any snot and boogers. For some reason though, when I blew into a tissue, my butt and belly started bulging. I blew into it again and my back rounded up with them. I blew one more time and my arms blew up and sprang apart, just when I was able to blow my nose clean. I was all blown up like a beach ball, complete with balloon squeaking and groaning sounds. It didn’t even last forever; all I had to do was exhale all  the extra air I put inside my body.

Monday

I wanted to do something to help me fight the Monday blues, so I decided blowing up balloons would help. I ended up getting a normal latex balloon with some bold letters that said, “Don’t Try To Pop Me”. Taking that as a challenge, I tried to pop it anyway by over inflating it. At first, things were going normally, and I expected the balloon to pop as soon as it got bigger than my face, but it didn’t. Instead it kept growing to the height of my legs. I kept blowing to find the balloon growing taller than myself. And I kept blowing…

And blowing…

And blowing…

Eventually, I managed to blow the balloon up so big, it reached the length and width of my bedroom, and it was finally nearing its bursting point. But I was also feeling tired from all the blowing, and at the verge of passing out. So, with the deepest breath I could muster, I gave the balloon one last blow. It wobbled and creaked, and as soon as I exhausted my breath…

*FFFFWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH*

All the air started coming back in, blowing me up in the balloon’s stead. I couldn’t even get the nozzle out of my mouth, so all I could do was helplessly blow up and round up at all sides. I grew bigger and rounder until I was the one filling up my bedroom. After that, the balloon’s nozzle came out of my mouth and I, already too tired, began to deflate and shrink, all the way down to a paper-thin state. At that point I was so tired, I could really care less about the condition I was in. After all, it still beats a boring Monday.

Tuesday

I woke up today with an extreme thirst attack that lasted throughout the day, which led me to drink one too many carbonated beverages. All the carbonation eventually built up, so that night I felt a bunch of little bubbles multiplying inside of me. I was also constantly burping as the bubbles expanded my body. I tried holding in the burps, but it also ended up speeding up my expansion. I was head in deep in my own ballooning flesh, which filled my entire room top to bottom, when I suddenly began to creak and groan.

And then…

*POOM!!!*

I ended up popping, and the next thing I knew, my room was covered with a bunch of gas bubbles that stuck around for a while. But after all that, I was perfectly fine, feeling much better after releasing all that pressure.

Wednesday

A neighbor of mine was practicing magic, and he wanted me to be his test monkey. I thought magic was just a hoax people invented just to fool the minds of innocent little children, but I volunteered anyway.

I was in for a big surprise when I stepped into his living room. He had all of these various types of balloons wounded up on the ceiling. I even heard him mumbling some words from behind my back, then thrusting his arms at the ceiling.

At first, nothing happened for a moment. But then, all the balloons on the ceiling started deflating all at once, and they all flopped down right on the floor. Next thing I knew, I was inflating in their place. My whole body swelled and rounded up all at once. I kept growing bigger and bigger until I’ve filled every last bit of space in the living room, top to bottom. My neighbor was getting squished under my ballooning mass in the process. But before I could even outgrow the living room, he took a fingernail, dug into my body, and…

*POW!!*

He popped a hole in one of my sides. All the air came whooshing out of that hole, and I deflated all the way down into a giant human sheet that covered the entire living room floor. Luckily, it only took a few hours for me to get back to normal from there.

Thursday

Today, I’ve been snacking on Blue Gushies, which are blue themed fruit snacks. They were so good and juicy, I couldn’t stop eating them. I only went through half a box before I started to get a strange allergic reaction to them. My skin turned blue, and the tiny juices in my stomach started to build up. Apparently, if you eat too many of these Gushies at once without taking it easy, they eventually build up. I managed to grow into a big, ripe, and round piece of fruit, filling up to the brim with fruit snack juice. Soon I felt myself shaking, like I was about to go off at any second. As soon as my body touched the ceiling, it groaned and creaked until…

*BLOOSH!!!*

I exploded, and I gotten juice all over the place. The next second I found myself floating in a mere foot of my own fruit snack juices. Clean-up was a chore, but didn’t take too long.

Friday

A couple of my friends were just in the neighborhood when they heard what happened on Wednesday. They just didn’t think I’ve reached my full size. So they told me to meet them in the hidden field of the local park.

I managed to make it over there, but I couldn’t see my pals anywhere. They were already hiding when I got there, and they snuck up on me with bike pumps in their hands. They stuffed two hoses in me, one in my mouth, the other in my belly button, and they started pumping away.

My belly and chest first started expanding, then my butt followed suit. This led to getting my whole body rounded up into a big ball. My friends kept pumping me up and they weren’t going to stop until I reached my limits. I grew ever so bigger, my divots disappearing and my head sinking into my body. It was only a matter of minutes, when I was big enough to outgrow the field, that my body started groaning and creaking immensely, and my two pals saw no reason to stop now.

And with one last simultaneous pump…

*KA-BOOM!!!*

I let out a thunderous explosion that blew a huge gust all over the forest floor. I, who had bursted into a paper thin state, came fluttering down to the field ground. And my friends just looked at me, impressed by my stamina.

Saturday

It’s been a crazy week. Every day, I’ve found myself getting blown up like a balloon left and right. I must’ve established some kind of record by now. But believe it or not, I actually had fun.

Turns out I’m not alone either. My buds are part of this unknown group called the Human Balloon Club. They’re a group of people who are big fans of body inflation, trying to push inflatable people to new limits and their full potentials, and they’re always happy to have more members. My buds are seeing to it that I get signed up as we speak.