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Smith and Sniff
Smith and Sniff

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Show notes 178

Hello again, and we start this week with a picture of Captain Tolley’s Creeping Crack Cure. Of course. Then we have a classic example of grey plastic misery spec in a Daewoo Chevy, a boastfully advertised Matiz, a reminder of the faux-Caddy Magentis and its cobra head, and the ad for an atomatic example. Finally, there’s the subtitle for Walter Rural and a mysteriously snorkelled airport vehicle spotted by Jonny. Not much in the way of links this week but, as if to prove that we didn’t make it up, here’s the website for Captain Tolley

Oh, and don’t forget, we have merch.  

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Comments

Nothing to do with this weeks podcast but Honda just announced this and it reminded me of Jonny :) https://motocompacto.honda.com/

Roja

Ever since the first videos I have been enjoying Jonny's creative descriptions - flute/flautist, janglesack, egg bag, wand etc. Delighted then on this week's podcast listen and dog walk for Rich to come in strong calling Jonny a sleeve. For a few minutes Rich held the high ground, before Jonny came out of nowhere with 'armpit wank' which had me in stitches - I mean, the mind boggles. Anyhow, I finished the dog walk and stopped at a local petrol station for essential nutrition. As I got out of the car, I spot a very ill sounding car and looking around see a silver X-Type clattering across the forecourt. Naturally excited, I am looking closely for skulls, pornographic brake lights, purple glitter 'Fuck off' etc. Problem is I was not being remotely surreptitious and the driver stopped and stared at me, clearly wondering what the hell I was doing. You have to be careful looking for Jag vandalism clearly!

Snowy

Pretty sure they used to - have a faint memory of my (medical) dad telling me about a particular disease that could be tracked in its progression by flight routes and the fall of "blue ice"

Matthew Aves

There’s a memory jogger. 8 plus hours on a Herc from Al u deid to Balad in Iraq. Boiling hot and drinking gallons of water. Having to use that “urinal” at the front of the cabin.

Jamie Miller

Walter Rural and Lewis Hamiltown. Racing for Suburban Technica International.

Steve McMaster

Creeping Crack Cure was my default leeky sunroof solution for years whilst buying questionable Italian cars.

Andrew Kirkby

I’ve used the Captain’s creeping crack before - was a good few years ago so can’t remember what on - might have been a headlight. And on the subject of leaks, there’s a 5 door Audi A3 around the corner for me that’s been missing it’s rear quarter light window for a good couple of months. Started off with a bin bag taped over it but it seems to have been left uncovered now for at least a month. Car is parked outside in all weathers so god knows how damp and smelly the interior is now.

Stephen Archer

No, no, no guys Walter Rural drive a Smokey, saging on the bags, Silver Audi A6 Allroad TDi (C5) and bores everyone to death that it's a quattro.

Cornish Rider

Not related to this episode but I saw this and immediately thought of Porter and our shared fear of being hit in the head at speed by a bird through an open window, while driving down a generously hedged country road. https://www.facebook.com/reel/663810375711065?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V

Saq

I’ve used Creeping Crack - still holding strong!!!

Mark Rutherford

You can tell that by how they didn't bother painting anything that wasn't on the exterior of car it just kinds of fades off under bonnet. Mine had spent 10 hard years in the centre of Edinburgh and it looked like it had been parked using only low speed impacts for all of those 10 years. It was neglected and I felt sorry for it, which is a sure fire recipe to create a money pit.

Glenn Chalmers

FIND ANOTHER. An £85,000 Clio. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/225787932508?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=usztt53OSOi&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=AtYwbsT2Ts-&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

TD

I can only report what I found with the seats. Two road trips, in an EV6 and the GT, only the GT seats left me feeling achey. As for 'too fast', I think the real issue is that it doesn't have the chassis of a sports car, or even a Taycan, and the power feels wasted for all but straight line squirts. The standard EV6 is a very nice thing but the lesser range and, in my view, lesser comfort of the GT aren't outweighed by the extra power and make it a less appealing car. Richard

Smith and Sniff

SpaceFlex cabin! For all your audible pooing needs!

Smith and Sniff

The problem, I suspect, is that the Panda was designed to be affordable and that means it's not made of the finest quality materials, especially in parts you can't see. It's a brilliant car, but much of it has to be just good enough while allowing Fiat to turn a profit. Even the top-of-the-range car uses the fundamentals of a model created around a low purchase price when new. Richard

Smith and Sniff

Dear God!

Smith and Sniff

I learned to drive in a bright red Daewoo Matiz, the shame of it as a 17 year old, but now I would quite like one. I recall the seat fabric was seemingly not attached to the seat foam which meant for sideways-slidey-bum action on roundabouts. K20 in the Panda?

Rich Gee - Gee's Drive

I think you’re both being a bit wussy about the EV6 GT. How can you say the seats are worse than a standard one - they’re fantastic! And how can it be too fast??? Just back from a 2,700 mile blat across Europe in mine including some autobahn cruising and a trip to the ‘ring (just for Jonny 😜)

Ross Pierrepont

Not direct, surely? Unless Pope Urban II was one of those very naughty pope.

Chris Rayner

I have used Captain Tolley’s excellent product on my boat. It works. Don’t think I’d bother with trying to revive shagged rubber door seals. I think it might sort out leaks around fixed windows in cars. Certainly worth a crack😉.

Chris Rayner

The aircraft seat on the back of the rear bog door is part of the Airbus “SpaceFlex cabin” option for the A320 family which makes the galley half width and moves the toilets into the space created. All in order to install an extra row of seats! The toilet system on commercial jets is operated by a vacuum generator and keeps everything in a tank, nothing goes overboard. Some small business jet types have recirculating toilets like a porta-loo or camp toilet instead of the vacuum system to save weight.

Oliver Burden

most if not all trains used to drop it all straight on the track, I was taught when I worked on the railway to always acknowledge the driver, then turn your back on the train as it passes...

Helen Morris

Just as you land, you have to kick the rudder to straighten up. I feels quite opposite lock ish. This is known as de-crabbing. I imagine this was also required in Lady Sonia's Range Rover.

Anthony Daniels

Walter Rural sounds like the name of a steam rally wrong’un.

Ollie Horsley

I'm pretty sure everyone who has owned an aging Panda 100HP has some horror story or other. I bought one and had the timing belt changed then once financially committed to it the alternator randomly seized then the clutch master and slave cylinders failed. I fitted it with a fresh set of happy joy road £30 tyres and did 2 laps of a Knockhill track day in it before the gear linkage fell off. These things all happened directly after each other and they're absolute misery to work on. I sold it and the new owner hit a pheasant and wiped out the front end shortly after.. Some of the 437 miles I did in it I enjoyed although I'm not sure it was a great return on investment after buying it for £1100, spending £800 on repairs then selling it for £1200, which I was very happy to receive.

Glenn Chalmers

We need an update on Jonny's creeping crack cure. I need to know how successful the penetration is!! Seriously, I have a potential use for it...

Stephen Hollingsworth

On the Lady Sonia side of things - my mate still has a dead fake Taxi - off of Fake Taxi.com . The scenes were filmed in his paddock/yard for a couple of years and the taxi, being barely roadworthy, was stored there between shoots. Had a few happy lunchtimes up there chatting to the girls over a cup of tea and a sausage roll. All came to an end during covid lockdown. I understand that the local youths established the location (video evidence was available) and took to firing ball bearings from catapults at the taxi from the treeline which put the performer off his stroke (so to speak). Make me chuckle as that is exactly what I would have done as a 15 year old. Any interest in the taxi is soon dispelled once you see the bucket of used wetwipes in the front compartment.

Matthew Aves

Nevermind a car filled with dust this one is filled with cockroaches. https://youtu.be/k2DOyDCc-L8?si=lMDuBD5EhinoAAJ4

S Carter

https://reddit.com/r/Unexpected/s/Y2IjYZtpZk

S Carter

A lot of trains dumped business straight onto the tracks, you'd quite often see it in stations and along sections of track. And splattered up the mechanical bits if you were working on them :(

John Hammond

Wonder if Keith was a descendant of Pope Urban II...

Peter Heamon

The truck that empties the tanks is called a Honey Wagon!

Peter Heamon

It is indeed crabbing, hence the nickname for us RAF folk as 'crabs'. However, following the podulecast I shall henceforth call it drifto-landing.

Peter Heamon

C-130 Hercules had urinal drains that vented piss straight to the atmosphere. Unless they iced up of course, then the can just filled with stinking foaming wee. Also Inter-City 125s used to vent toilet doings on to the track, hence why there were notices not to use the toilet at the station. Paddington used to stink in the summer as many people roundly ignored the notice.

Peter Heamon

Not an aero engineer, but I did go on a training course a few years back where I learnt that airliners are infact often full of cracks, they just rely on failsafe design and inspections. Also, does this mean the biscuit tin marked “ghetto boxster fund” is now empty?

Thomas Hill

I am a boarding pass printer, and I'm under 40. Last year I was on a stag-do and one of the group's phone ran out of battery and couldn't get through security. They had to find a power socket and almost missed the flight. The phone ran out again while we were waiting to get through the gates. I shall remain a boarding pass printer.

Ben Oliver

yep!

Joseph Woodhouse

It's crabbing not drifting! And many planes have seats in the bog door but usually only used in take off / landing - so she was definately on sentry duty!

Anthony Daniels

Walter Rural's nemeses were the urban sprawls Peter Borough and Tel' Ford

John Hammond

So when a plane comes in to land it's carrying a big tank of piss?

Smith and Sniff

I'm both relieved and disappointed about that

Patrick Rennison

Can confirm, that aircraft toilets do not release to atmosphere. just a tank that is emptied via tanker. In the same way that all the portable water on board is from a tank, nothing too fancy or interesting going on I'm afraid!

Joseph Woodhouse

The Captain sadly died a few years ago. His wife, who spends part of the year living on a houseboat in London is a good customer of mine and let's just say that the product does not work on broken computers. I think that CCC is just very dilute PVA glue.

Mark Morgan

The snorkel on the Toyota Coaster bus is a factory Toyota option, usually for hot and dusty enviroments. The 'wood burning stove' domed part at the top is actually a precleaner that helps reduce the dust intake before it reaches the airfilter. A common sight on 'Mine Spec' Toyotas here in Australia.

Andrew Hofler

I think you’re missing something chaps, the piss-mister is a form of organic adblue directed straight into the exhaust of the jet turbine to clean up its emissions.

Guy Beattie

Ian HubNut did indeed buy his Matiz new. But he sold it after a couple of years, only to stumble across and buy it back the best part of 20 years later - the crazy loon.

Jonathan Holmes

Regarding the snorkel, is there any chance that’s the exhaust? I’ve noticed that the airport trucks here in Calgary have the exhaust routed to the front of the vehicle. I assume it’s so the driver doesn’t accidentally aim the exhaust at a fuel source. Or start a grass fire.

Colin Young

Pretty sure I once tried fixing a crack in my bath with Captain Tolley's Creeping Crack Cure. It didn’t work…

Scott

Captain Tolley's Creeping Crack Cure is brilliant. It's really low viscosity like milk and flows into gaps and sets. I use it on my leaky old camper van regularly 😊

Fergus McIver

Some say... Walter Rural is more concerned about touring car drivers Tom and Max Chilterns than his Urban counterparts

Charles Clark

Walter Rural's main rival was the late great Ken Tower Block

Stuart Richards

Walter Rural’s chief driving rival is, of course, Michelle Moutown.

Brendan McAleer

Misha is Russian and based at the 'ring, driving other people's cars, sometimes not into the barriers. Good grief the YouTube comments are going to explode tomorrow 🤣

Thomas Cowley

Surely, Walter Rural’s nemesis is Keith Urban.

Sequoia Van Camp

I totally believe Helen Mirren could have been at Santa Pod. I have Jenna Stannis (Blake's 7) working at my local petrol station. I haven't blown her cover yet by grassing her to the Federation.

Tom Lanigan

The snorkel is because under Typhoon conditions the rain falls so hard and so heavy it bounces up from the acres of concrete on an airport and can get sucked into an engine intake set low. Plus other traffic on the airport will generate bow waves as they pass one another because even the storm drains become over loaded at times.

Andrew Jones


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