DON'T ask us anything

I don't know if you would come back to read this before the boners podcast but I think my German friend has answered it, he just bought a partially assembled 2006 VW Eos with many, many faults and red-on-white Marlboro style paint job.

Matt Tester

I was going to ask your opinion on Chinese EV manufacturers preparing to bring their cars to our shores.

Martin Stephenson

In the track inspection line there was a Fiat Ducato van with a suspicious set of AP Racing brakes and cup 2 tires... the man driving it looked a little like Jason Plato but no way would he be here at a local track day event... feel free to dig deeper down the wormhole on professional racing drivers trolling amateur racing events in ridiculous cars... I was walking around work laughing my ass off listening... keep it up gents. Video to the podcast I feel would add value.

JimmyCocks

What, when & how was your first super car experience, i.e. you driving one? Thanks for making my Mondays fun - I always save your podcasts for Monday afternoon.

Lisa Monsterken

I'm sure Rich has thought a few of my cars are gash. He'd probably be right. He already knows what I think of supercharged Range Rovers. ...Jonny

Smith and Sniff

Hi Johnny - this should be doable. I am thinking of a Suzuki SJ 410 with a speed limiter to 30 km/h, drivable by minors to transport the milk - sounds like a plan?

#lescolsdesalpes

Mostly mornings Gordon, but it does vary depending on our diaries. I wish I was 'on it' more often. Jonny

Smith and Sniff

A bigger screen with no more information to display than any other model. Carbon additions to a very heavy car. Jonny

Smith and Sniff

Sounds excellent. Could we do it in a car that struggles to climb hills? Jonny

Smith and Sniff

I'm going to say yes. I think Citroen should just have considered using their name still. Jonny

Smith and Sniff

Great question John. In all honesty I do not know, but I suspect I'd try to swing the vote towards travelling the scenic route to go and buy a car each week. Richard would choose what we drive there in, and on the way home we stop off at a chef's house to collect a packed lunch. Jonny

Smith and Sniff

What are your thoughts on that new Citroen C5X? It’s a big French car which are always interesting at the very least. It’s also a jacked-up estate/saloon which is almost Dakar Spec. I’m sure it will be vanilla to drive, but are we starting to see the end of the dreaded SUV crossover nonsense?

Martin Fallon

Hi guys. You’ve known each other for a while now, not to start a rift but purely for entertainment value, have either of you owned a car that the other has thought was a bit shit but not said anything? Thanks for the years of great entertainment. Cheers John.

John Taylor

Meeting your car-hero. Have you ever really hankered after a car, then finally driven / owned one that was a complete disappointment?

Ian Ansdell

Must be the little projectors that display the badge on the ground when the door is open.

Vlad Tataranu

Luckiest car moment..... I've had quite a few near misses due to over exuberance in my youth, but the luckiest maintenance wise was this. I was servicing an old Nissan and wanted to change the fan belt. I de-tensioned the adjuster on the alternator and pushed it towards the engine. It moved so far across the permanently live terminal shorted against a hose-clip that was already touching the block , causing it to heat up / melt straight away. Now I had a fire in the engine as the hose lit up. Now in a state of "oh-crap, what do I do?", I quickly went through my options, just as I was about to grab some gloves and move the alternator, the hose melted through, dumping coolant over itself, putting out the fire and the clip melted away sufficiently to make a gap between the live terminal and the block. What's your luckiest moment?

Ian Ansdell

Have either of you ever used an automotive part to repair part of a house? When selling my first house I discovered part of the kitchen sink waste piping was leaking and rummaged through the garage for spare PVC piping (being a bit of a hoarder). Upon discovering that none of the pieces I'd collected over the years were of the correct diameter I remembered that I had some two inch stainless dairy pipe, bought from a local scrappie, two inch right-angles from the local hydraulic shop and some "Sparco" silicone hoses, all of which were from an intercooler mod previously done to an old Nissan Silvia. Quickly cobbling together several bits I now had a two-bar capable waste system. My friends still rib me every time I've fitted a kitchen or bathroom.

Ian Ansdell

As per the random conversation spawned when Johnny's twitter youtube links fell on their arse.... If Back to the Future was remade in the East End of London, what cars would they be driving? https://twitter.com/milescook/status/1381157922869248002

CookRacing UK

When do you record the podcast? I ask because we've heard the postie in one episode (dog barking), and Jonny enjoying a refreshing beer in another. I assume you vary the time around other things, but I'd like to imagine Jonny is on the sauce early doors

Gordon Gunn

It's got to be head up display IMHO

Bob Burr

Related question: can one of you ask Chris Harris if there's a TG chiropractor who looks after his back now that he's carrying the whole show?

Battles

Worst/naffest option in a car?

Bruce Driffill

If you were to have a big shunt (all airbags go off) what car would most want to do it in and the one you really would not want to be in.

Nick Davies

I was looking at the Farrow and Ball colours to match something our previous pretentious owners had painted ( not wrong with Dulux IMHO). Anyway two colours caught my eye. Elephant breath and mouse breath. What a load of old toss.

Nick Davies

You’re in a lay-by eating lunch (Christmas sandwich for Richard, vegetable samosa for Jonny). Shmee150 pull up on one side, MRJWW on the other. What question do you ask each of them, and what do you think they’re lunch of choice is?

Andrew Belton

When I bought my Wolsey 6 (for £75) it obviously only had a pint of petrol in it. I had to get some more and the nearest garage (Wells Next The Sea) had a big Austin sign, an A70 and A35 in the showroom. This was probably about 1992 but Norfolk can be a bit behind the times.

Carl Pickering

This is an excellent idea. Also worth flipping this to discuss the worst, least appropriate car casting. Spender's Saph Cossie deserves a mention there.

Battles

I used to see a Ford Probe with A80RTS on it, always gave me the bowk.

Battles

Is it just me or do you guys like a commercial vehicle?

Alex frost

Thanks! I, too, like agreed values - one saved my lovely Volvo from the crusher last autumn

Ed Storer

I have just given back a rental Mercedes C220 diesel that had a g-force meter built into the rev counter

Ed Storer

Is the DS brand like Cupra a complete waste of time ?

Warwick Brooker

I was thinking along those lines for car dealership, the choice of vehicles would be chuffing amazing! 👍🏻

Chris Jarrett

Would you mind a roadtrip to Switzerland once we all can travel again? (I would happily assist as local guide)

#lescolsdesalpes

I insure all my cars on separate policies via Adrian Flux. I could have a multi car policy for less paperwork, but then they don't get agreed value. I am a fan of agreed valuations, so every January I spend several days doing all the renewals.

Smith and Sniff

Hmm, you 've put some corn down, are we going to get the full story?

Bob Burr

What do you think is the best car casting for a fictional character?

James Harvey

I made something go wrong at Volvo once. Jonny

Smith and Sniff

No, I quite like them too, but the term 'oversized horsecollar' is the best euphemism I've heard in yonks. Jonny

Smith and Sniff

Would Tony Quattro be backed up by MC Haldex? Jonny

Smith and Sniff

This is my favourite question. What a Pandora Box you have opened! In fact hang on, I'd say Pandora Box Pearl Mist. Jonny

Smith and Sniff

Automotive monogamy is something I am not comfortable with. Jonny

Smith and Sniff

Opening a dealership would be commercial suicide, unless we only dealt in bygone era toss. Maybe we buy one of those Austin Rover dealer group buildings and just give it a good clean? Jonny

Smith and Sniff

I once followed a Range Rover through Colindale in London where the plate read P6RN . The 6 had been doctored. It was completely porno. Jonny

Smith and Sniff

Regular soap, or soap from a lunatic that will make your bathroom smell of sausages?

Bob Burr

Hustler, Fiesta, Escort, Mayfair, Club(man), Rustler. Which was better, porn mag or car?

Peter Heamon

Guyson E12. WTF?!

Peter Heamon

If you could name a new car paint colour, what would it be called, what colour would it be and what make of car/manufacturer would it be for? I'm going with tantric blush, a powerful yet somehow understated crimson option for your high-end Lexi

Spartacus Mills

In that case. does Richard’s online car magazine name ‘sniff petrol’ come from his frankly bizarre youthful partying days when he didn’t mind a line or two of Saudi Arabia’s finest?

Spartacus Mills

Mr Smith, are you getting a 2 or 4 post car lift in your new office garage? Mr Porter, are you going to store your Land Rover in Mr Smiths new office garage? Mr Smith & Mr Porter, have you ever thought about opening up a car dealership together?

Chris Jarrett

One car for the rest of your life?

Simon&Soph Willis

Polestar x Under Armor gym gear collab would be a really effective way for Volvo to shed its family car image and go for the spoorrrtssahhh crowd!

Ben Yong

Drunken ebay purchases best and worst.....Confess all !

Mark Williams

My Local Garage Owner has a Ranger Rover Spoorrrrrrt with the number plate SP07RT have you seen any other terrible number plates?

Mark Williams

As well respected Motoring Journo's what car "acquisition" advice would you provide to prospective Crims on selecting the best Getaway vehicle for stealth , speed and carrying capacity.

Mark Williams

There are some world-class DJs with fantastic names. My favourite is Tony Quattro. If you were a superstar DJ, what would your car-related stage name be? Mine would be Robin Tiptronic. (For context, some other great DJ names are: Anna Lunoe, Valentino Khan, Nick Hook, Alison Wonderland, Nicky Romero and Victor Niglio)

Sam W

Tell us about your first car crash and why it wasn't your fault.

Mat Guest

What do you most enjoy spending the £1.15 I gift you every week on?

Olly Braithwaite

I'm guessing that both Jonny and Richard will have visited various car manufacturing operations over the years. What visit was the most interesting and did anything go wrong?

Bob Burr

Noel Edmonds a former Top Gear presenter of course.

Tim C

Jonny, when you did your article for the Mazda customer magazine on the MX5 that got partially destroyed, on that side of things, I’m interested to know if you said you thought the MX5 looked revolting? You are on record as having said you find all MX5s repulsive to look at. PS. Hearing how the Citroen BX pumped up its suspension like a startled cat really made me laugh! To both of you – do you think there is any point to supercars? Why is Jonny’s wife called Chops? To both of you – what is the most surprising car each of you has driven, either in a good or bad way? PS. As and when you do start making videos again, please don’t stop making the podcast. It’s largely what is keeping me vaguely sane these days

Alex Brunsdon

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A question for Richard. Did you also used to pester the staff at Stratstones for brochures? I can’t believe they were so generous.

David Daley

I sort of have a hankering for one of the early Edsels (probably a Villager or Roundup, if pressed). Over sized horsecollar grille and all. Does that make me a wrongun...?

James Harvey

Are there any 'bad' cars anymore, i.e. not fit for purpose/serious design flaw etc., or what was the last piece of motoring crap sold to an unsuspecting public?

Peter Heamon

My question is: 'If the BBC gave you both the same budget as Top Gear, what sort of motoring programme would you create - and host.'

John Sansom

Alfa Romeo. Discuss.

Sam o’boy

To be fair, you've opened the door inviting "ask anything", but I do know the question is likely rude. I'm a colonial who is confused by your accents or lack thereof. Sniff seems to my ear to speak full on Received Pronunciation, yet Smith might, possibly, maybe have a slight regional accent (West Country?). Is this correct? If so, why does the man who built his career behind the camera speak RP while the actual presenter get away with an accent?

Guy Sande

Sniff, can we get your recollection of the Tesla incident? Smith, have you ever upset a manufacturer that much?

Richard Major

I wonder how many of us were similarly afflicted. I always say that I’m not a car obsessive by choice, it’s truly innate. My mother tells me that at the age of 18 mths-2 years old I was sitting in the back of the car in child seat and I would take my thumb out of my mouth to point at passing cars, identifying them as “Bolbo”, “Bee-Em-Wubble-Doo” and so on. I clearly remember earnestly explaining the new Mini Metro to my grandmother, how it was initially planned to replace the Mini but would now be sold alongside it, when the Metro was launched in 1980 and I cannot have been more than four years old. I can’t be the only person like this can I?

Tim C

You can put any car body shell from history on any chassis and engine at all, what combination are you choosing? Rules would logically assume that there's leway for wheelbase issues (but you couldn't have an Austin Allegro on a Phantom EWB etc [sorry Johnny]) and a mid-engined body means a mid-engined car etc, do you know what I mean? Huge fan of the podcast and videos, I couldn't think of a better way to spend a Sunday evening than with your audio bullshittery acompanying on my usual dog walk. Thanks, on that side of things.

James Baker

I think it may have been Smith, just because his brother is a pre-war car mechanic

James Baker

Dear Richard & Jonny, I’ve wondered when you can start making videos again will this continue or is it now strictly a podcast. ‘On that side of things’ would you ever do reviews/videos in fans interesting cars? Is it just new launch cars/own personal cars? Thank you!

Adam Sillett

Blags that you have hot on press launches 1. Best ever 2. Best blag to worst car e.g. fancy watch to test the new Peugeot 306 diesel.

Robin White

Have you concidered doing a Smith and Sniff live streamed podcast/video (or have you already done one and I've missed it)

Toby Barron

Oh my god!!! So....many.....questions!!!! 1. What plans have you got for future Smith and Sniff Videos, road trips, comparisons, CSI Tarpaulin more hunting old money cars??? 2. Kei cars are massive, ironically, in Japan, I've just watched a YouTube video on Kei campers, 30 minutes of my life I won't get back, would the both of you spend a night in one and where? 3. Richard, are any of the guys that got hired with you on Old Top Gear still working withing the industry, if so are you still in touch?? 4. Would you consider a collaboration with another automotive YouTube channel, not permanently, if so, who?? Loads more questions but I think 4 is a bit cheeky anyway!! Noel

Noel Huggett

Rob Dickinson of singer Porsche is cousins with Metal Maestro Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden. Do you know if Bruce has a Singer Porsche? This question has been annoying me for years and given Richard mentioned he's met Rob this is my best chance to find out.

Glenn Chalmers

With more people working from home, new forms of "mobility solutions" and travel as a service. Do you think you'll be going the way of the lift operator anytime soon? (Not that we want you too!)

Maurice Barnes

Did your parents predict your future love of motor vehicles? As an example my mother enjoys telling the story of my hugging stacks of tires (tyres) at the department store as a toddler.

Jeffrey Smith

Have you still got fizzy yoghurt on your topic list? The reason I ask is I bought a lunch over Easter whilst out and got a small pot of melon. I left it on the car seat all afternoon in full sun. When I finally opened it early evening - fizzy melon!

Martin Stephenson

I think it was Richard who mentioned a recently kindled interest in pre-war (I’m assuming WWII) cars. I have a soft spot for the 20s and 30s cars. Which interest you?

Chris Rayner

Who are the motoring journalists, past or present, that you most admire?

Martin Wastie

HI GUYS! Can you tell us what you really think about ‘influencers’?

Martin Wastie

Richard - What do you REALLY think about Jonathan Palmer?

Quentin James

Now that it's April and it's snowing, what's your choice of (relatively) cheap roof-off shitter? I had a Smart Roadster for a couple of years and actually miss freezing my nips off in it, I refused to drive with the roof closed unless it was actually raining. MR2? 205 cabrio? Pluriel? Personally I'd like an X1/9 to go back to the classic equivalent of the Roadster.

Matt Tester

When I bought my Skoda (Rapid, Diesel - possibly an oxymoron, but it was cheap so I can't complain) I noticed one of the options set on the computer was to monitor oil temperature. Now in the history of motoring has anyone other than those that race cars ever gave a toss about oil temp? And could this be a feature for Richard's next book - utterly pointless toss that OEM's add to cars as the feature list on the base model was looking a bit shit.

Stephen Cooper

What is your earliest memory of a car? Playing with a toy, riding in one, seeing one?

Brett Rowley

Obviously we all love cars, but are there any 2-wheelers that you find especially interesting or enjoyable?

Brett Rowley

I'm sure they have some good stories for this. I've only found a Postman Pat figure deep down behind the rear armrest in my Disco II while looking for the many magic trees planted by a German 'friend'.

Matt Tester

How does Jonny in particular insure all the various cars he owns/runs? S this not a huge amount of paperwork?

Ed Storer

This has really tickled my ribs ngl hahaha How about an Urban Outfitter / Stellantis collab clothing accessories range?

Jamie W

Which car manufacturer merch would you personally endorse: 1) Koenigsegg’s large organic farm fresh eggs 2) British Leyland polo neck sweaters (in Austin Allegro colour options) 3) Lancia smart phones (that they actually made themselves and not rebadged off an OEM) 4) Honda Type R talcum powder 5) Seat sausages (which will be rebadged VW sausages)

Ben Yong

Have you ever reviewed something and a press officer take it badly, then they call you up all a bit angry.

Adam McConkey

Will you go back to doing videos once’s the world rights itself?

Adam McConkey

Has Stellantis asked you guys to run their marketing department? I feel that their branding could use some more euro-dance.

Sander Hop

Right let's get to the real question - who would be quicker around a lap at Dunsfold: Chops or Mrs Porter?

Nadeem Rahim

Hi guys, for those of us not from the UK (Aussie here), can you produce a badly animated/live action skit of Spawwwttttahhh guy? "A day in the life of", ect. With sterotypical fashion and thier daily driven vehicle. We need to get the vibe fully! Cheers!

Peter Agius

Have you ever driven or reviewed a car (either press car or max power'd magazine review) you liked at the time, but now look back on and think it was really shit?

Tim Organo

If you had to pick an estate to daily drive what would it be and why? Has to have 5 doors. Can't be a combi or shooting brake.

George Wade

If you could add 1 rule to make F1 more competitive and exciting, what would it be?

Christopher Holewski

Does Richard regret buying the Range Rover yet?

George Wade

Both of you have been in Sam Moore’s car chat podcast where he asks the questions “what’s one car would you have with and unlimited budget? With a £500 shed on the side”. I’m more interested in what would be your shed of choice and why would you not just go find a mk1 focus?

Jamie W

Or the most disgusting car you have bought?

Carl Pickering

It comes from his spoof online car magazine Sniff Petrol

James Baker

On which cars have you found your views least aligned with the journo consensus (either 'terrible' cars actually being quite good, or 'hero' cars actually being a bit meh)? Please share your most embarrassing incidents with launch cars - and the jackanory excuses you concocted when handing them back. Lastly, Richard, as Evo's oft-derided king of understeer, have you ever had an understeer issue segue into an underpants issue on departing the tarmac?

Alex Montgomery

This x2

Ryan Barnes

What car makes you mutter the word “bellend” straight away upon sight?

Manx Mountain Ninjas

What was the best, unbroadcastable, 'Some say' stig joke?

Ger O'Connor

PS - top work chaps, thank you. Keep it up and back on video when you can, please

Alex Montgomery

What do you think you will both be doing in 10 years time?

Dave Smith

What's the most unusual/bizarre item you have found in a 2nd hand car you have bought?

Graham Dallas

What would you suggest to a 60+ year old mild helmsman (my dad) as a stop gap? A bit of back story: he’s looking at the defender 110 and really likes the look of them now he’s older but can’t bring himself to by a new one (he’s never bought new) at £65-80k and there’s no deals on ex demos yet. So far, I’ve suggested every from £10k Range Rover Vogue Supercharged to £10k ‘56 s6 avant, and £30k ‘13 RR Spooortahhh Supercharged to £25k F10 m5 even. Even a few rogue options like £30k DB9, 997.2 and couple of alpinas. The parameters are has to be comfortable / reliable on long motorway journeys (as he regularly does Cornwall to Edinburgh for work), isn’t going to draw the wrong attention when he parks it outside the house in London, large cargo capacity and my mum will get in it / maybe drive it. With bonus points if it won’t cost a fortune over the next 2 years and it won’t depreciate massively. Ps - he’s dreamed of aston since he first saw goldfinger, so the db9 seems to be winning currently, and he’s always regretted selling his Alpina C2 2.7 (e30). I realise this could be a podcast in itself and tbh I think you two could start a side hustle to the side hustle (S&S) if you suggest a winner! Thanks

Jamie W

Any hints or tips for dealing with people who want to talk about cars, they think they know a lot about cars, but they actually know very little and get all their amazing facts wrong

Richard Major

Richard - are you still working with CHM / The Grand Tour now they are only doing 'specials'? For both of you - what's your proudest moment of TV which you've done - a car review / one of the Top Gear / Grand Tour specials, etc? Love the podcast and videos - long may they continue! It's been a giggle listening to you over the last couple of years.

Ben Draper

I once hard launched a car, which wasn't mine, and broke its drive shaft. Have you ever broken a car through aggressive driving?

Fergus McIver

A guy a went to school with went inside for armed robbery of a bank. What’s the “best” crime you know committed by an acquaintance?

Richard Major

Ineos Grenadier- why?

Martin Wastie

Have you ever sold a car to someone who was clearly some sort of criminal? I once unloaded a Fiesta who’s lamda sensor had somehow welded itself to the exhaust manifold but needed changing. The chaps who bought it put it on the back of a ill sized flatbed, paid me in £50 notes and gave what was CLEARLY a fake address for the V5

Richard Major

Has there been a car launch which you wish you were invited to but did not get an invite? Also, does Richard’s name ‘sniff’ come from his youthful partying days when he didn’t mind a line or two of Columbia’s finest?

zain ali

I second James A-K question. We need some more wandering in fields of cars. Plus why is the podcast not again on video and in the Tokyo Taxi, FYI it is not a Tokyo Taxi it’s from a different area of Japan. The min fare is too low. Tokyo min is ¥410.

John Lancaster-Lennox

Are there any plans to do any videos in the near future?

James Allington-Kay

What are your views on 'stanced' cars!? From just cars that are very low through to ones with ridiculous camber that are totally undriveable

Richard Tapp

I was wondering, how big do you think the Sultan of Brunei's keyring is? I reckon it's like a child's hula hoop. Or perhaps he has a bespoke, modified Ikea Billy bookcase to store them in.

James Smith

What is the largest fruit or vegetable you reckon you could get up a human arse without either the fruit/vegetable or arse breaking?

-

Strictly limited to the cars you've actually driven, which would you say is the best and worst car for a petrol station picnic?

James Harvey

How did smith and sniff start working together? Thanks for all the laughs!

Jamie Crane

What’s your favourite BL brand + model? And if you had to drive one as a daily for the rest of your life (un-modified) which would it be? It’d be the Rover SD1 Vanden Plas for me.

Elliott Jones

What's the car you own/have owned that people offer/offered to buy from you most often?

Peter Norrish