Elephant Town Chapter 7 (pages 8-9)

Lol I had my wedding date (not year, just day of the year) picked out long before I even met my husband. So he knew when he proposed that we would be planning our wedding in 4 months. Luckily I just wanted a courthouse wedding with a big party the following weekend, so it was pretty easy to coordinate

Berto doesn't even look comfortable with the church suggestion. It's definitely not the right time or place to be having these discussions. They need some space to figure out what is important to them from the wedding industrial complex and what they'd like to avoid.

So for sure this is a topic that should have been discussed well before engagement, but also life/circumstances/etc can have you change your mind on these things and I do believe it's important to take into account what your feelings might be if your partner gains a new perspective on these things. My ex changed his mind about not wanting children and left without even consulting me on the issue (worked out in my favor majorly lol). I actually changed my mind about not wanting children when I found a spouse who didn't leave all the housework and emotional labor on my plate and had a supportive but not boundary crossing local family. But I've always felt like I have complete agency in what and how I want to pursue our family and I would not have had that freedom with many other partners.

definitely a compliment :)

I'll take this as a compliment and apologize in advance! ;) Best of luck with the fertility treatments!

Danielle Corsetto

I've been doing fertility treatments nonstop for 5 months now and I'm presently on my period and I really just can't get past all these hormones and stop crying. Can you please stop making the most relatable characters?

Could be, but I get more the sense that she's feeling robbed of agency in a huge life decision she just made. As in his family is making a lot of assumptions without talking to her, or possibly without Berto having talked with her about some of this stuff.

Sarah Manx

Was that Meighan checking out through the closed door? I don't get a lot of warm & fuzzy vibes from her. Maybe she's more of an introvert?

Ruth Merriam

Not all churches will let you get married there if you don't share the faith or are not a member.

Alacrity Fitzhugh

Maybe Meighan is not Catholic? And doesn't feel comfortable with that?

Hugh Eckert

Ugh, I know that feeling! Family never respects the adjustment time ...

I say get married at the church. If Meighan doesn't have her heart set on somewhere else, why not make the in-laws happy?

Dean Reilly

Yeah, that's a thing that happens in fiction a lot. 50 shades of grey, they get married, and then they discover that the woman wants kids and the man does not. It seems like if that's not a subject that comes up before you get engaged you're probably doing it wrong.

Mitchell Sealy

There are so many big "before we get serious" talks and kids are in the top 3. I heard "But what if your husband wants kids?" soooo many times (non-parent by choice here), and my response was always, "Why the hell would it get to that point when I am very clear about what I want?" I really hope they've discussed this, but I am so afraid that they haven't... By the way, Danielle, I viscerally FELT that "are you gonna make us" bit, like she's just an incubator for more family members. I know it's a kid saying it, but oof.

NJGR

That's often the problem with marriage: you don't always just get the one person you like, you might get stuck with their entire family. I feel strongly for Meighan - the strain is clearly already taking a toll on her. I have a feeling that she and Berto haven't yet talked about how they're going to navigate his family's place in their lives together. I also wonder if he expects to have kids and eventually a large family of their own like this, and I suspect that Meighan might not want kids at all.

Fox

I don't know why the first question asked when you get engaged is "when's the wedding?" Two days ago I didn't even know there was going to be a wedding, so at this point you would know better than me!

Maura W

Poor Meighan. Bit of culture shock there.

Laura J Testa-Reyes