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dcorsetto
dcorsetto

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Frivolity

Today while I was finishing a painting, I let myself catch up on Lucy Bellwood's delectable 20-minute audio ramblings that she shares with her patrons, and was both startled and tickled to discover that she mentions me several times throughout this particular ramble.

At one point she was commenting on how I've been "holed up" in my lovely home (true!) living on saved income (actually, most of my livelihood has been due to your generosity via Patreon), trying new things, writing and drawing and painting and "playing as an artist," and just when she was about to explain how that must seem to other people, she paused. Out loud, I filled in her answer: "frivolous."

I don't know if I'll ever shake the feeling that my job is a joke. Like I need to apologize for enjoying my work, as if enjoying it makes it matter less. Maybe my gut reaction to "Danielle's job" will always start with an apology. 

This last year has been especially crushing, with nothing tactile or complete to show for what I've been piecing together and preparing for all this time, worrying that I'm taking advantage of your trust in me. Truthfully, every time I've sat down to work on the script or the character designs or background preparations, I've had a hard time starting, because I feel like what I'm doing is the equivalent of a kid making castles in a sandbox. It doesn't feel like real work, and I'm not supposed to spend my work hours doing things that aren't real work.

On the bright side, feeling so guilty about liking what I'm writing means that it's indulgent, and I want so much for my stories to be an indulgence. I'm on the right path, I just need to quiet the voice that tells me I'm having too much fun for it to count.

Thanks, Lucy, for quieting that voice for me today. And most of all, thank all of you for letting me live the dream. <3

P.S. I'll have to show you the painting later, because it's a surprise gift for one of you. ;)

P.P.S. I'm switching this to a public post because, heck, you all know I made it for you, but it seems like this is something more people need to hear. <3

Frivolity

Comments

&lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 back atchya girl

Danielle Corsetto

Echoing what everyone else is saying, but there's a soul nourishment happening on both ends of this process. We aren't watching you play frivolously; we're watching you create intuitively and inspiringly and learning-ly(? I'm gonna go with it). I love being let in on this process, and I can't wait to see where it leads all of us. We know your commitment (many of us found you via GWS, right?), but this allows you to be the most YOU -- and I happen to think you're a pretty awesome person whose brain is coming up with some pretty awesome stuff. &lt;3 -j

NJGR

HAHAHA YUP I read it backwards and thought *I* was the one being served at a Papaccino's that I didn't remember in Shepherdstown! Thought I'd lost my mind for a minute there. ;) Thank you, og poster, for your kind words and for serving coffee to my friend!

Danielle Corsetto

Oh my goodness I misread this and was like "THERE'S A PAPACCINO'S IN SHEPHERDSTOWN?!" This is so neat! I have a lot of love for that spot. Many formative comics experiences took place there.

Lucy Bellwood

Damn, I'm seriously basking in the run-off of all this community love! It's really cool to see an artist I've admired since the beginning of high school, and an artist I used to serve coffee to at Papaccino's (and yeah...totally admire!) support each other like y'all do. I just think it's all rad. I appreciate and love your art so much.

Goodness, I feel this in my BONES. I've got very little to show for the recent projects I've been working on (two short comics and an illustrated short story zine) and it feels like I should be further along. However, I've found comfort in taking time to "play" when I'm in that bad headspace. I'll goof off with my characters, I'll noodle around with some watercolors, I'll draw my absurd cat doing absurd cat things. It's nice to make space for me to enjoy making art. It sounds like that's a part of what you've been doing, along with this massive, lovely book project, and I'm so, so glad you're able to do that! You've been working hard at comics for over ten years after all, if anyone deserves time to just play, it's you! I love seeing your gorgeous figure drawings and your beautiful paintings and the gifts you make for friends and family. As Lucy said, that's the dream. And I'm so glad that you get to live that in this moment.

Katie McMahon

UGH I just love you. Thank you, Lucy, my co-inspirationer (shhhhh autocorrect, it gets the point across). I'm gonna go click into Phil's stream because that guy is a giant genius and I want to know that one more peer I admire is also in this sandbox.

Danielle Corsetto

DANIELLE. This is so lovely, and so is reading all these kind words from your other Patrons (WITH WHOM I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY). Also: if churning out a relentless stream of staggeringly brilliant content for over TEN YEARS doesn't earn you the right to build sand castles and play and nourish yourself for a while, then I don't wanna know what does. Phil McAndrew was just talking on Twitter about having a year like ours, full of work that doesn't appear to be work because there's nothing concrete to "show for it" at the end of the year. It's all a myth, but it's really easy to feel like you're the only one "goofing off" when social media is designed to highlight the book deals, the events, the tours, the interviews, and the new releases. I fall prey to thinking I'm the only one at the starting line ALL THE TIME, but it's just not true. I'm so glad I didn't say what you were thinking, because I'm so so so far from believing it. You've been a real guiding light for me these last couple years, and I'm so grateful for your friendship.

Lucy Bellwood

oh gosh, what a lovely thing to overhear about yourself. I'm having emotions.

Vee

Says everything I needed/wanted to hear today. Thank you so much for sharing.

This hit me right in the feels, in so many ways. I have zero artistic ability, what I'm good at is firmly in the analytical and engineering field. There are so many days where I wish I could create the way you do. So often I find myself sitting in another boring meeting that should have been an email wishing I could do something creative instead... but any time I've tried, I've just not been able to find any creative ideas in my head.

You're ALWAYS working and learning new things and improving your skills and taking advantage of your time, which is super important! It's good to be grateful for the time you have to hone stuff, but you also have to realize you have that time because of all you've accomplished! You've earned this dream, baby! And we can all see that! &lt;3

Tl;dr: People make the world a better place when we love what we do, and we're allowed to be proud of that!

Sarah Manx

Ooh!! Guilt aside, I'm glad you get so much enjoyment out of an office job. :)

Danielle Corsetto

The real joke is that even those of us with corporate office jobs can have those same feels, and I've had them exponentially since the point where I actually started loving my work. Because I didn't enter a "noble" profession like being a doctor/teacher/non-profit person/etc., I struggle with guilt over the impact my work has on the world. But you know what? Because I love doing it, that not only shows for everyone that directly engages with my work, but also I'm a happier person, and that comes through in every single interaction I have with the rest of world. (The guilt is still there and probably always will be because that's my personality, but I try to remind myself of this kind of stuff anyway.)

Sarah Manx

You are living the dream! I hope some day I can get my stuff together enough to manage the same &lt;3

Sheri Spangenberg


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