Dear Mr. Fix-it: Taking the Dull by the Horns

Dear Mr. Fix-it,

I have a situation that I’m hoping to change, and I was wondering if you could help. I just started working as an office assistant at very large manufacturing firm. The problem is that my first name is Mike, and we have 3 other Mikes who work here, so the office manager, Art, calls us by our last names, and for me that’s Dull. Yep, Mike Dull. As a result, he shouts out “Dull!” whenever he needs me to run his errands, or wants me to stay late at work, or whatever. Art also likes to razz me in front of my co-workers and encourages them to call me Dull or Dullard.

I think about standing up to him sometimes, but I’m just a tiny guy (5’6”, 120 pounds) and he’s just so big and aggressive. I also thought about changing my name, but I don’t think it would matter – Art really enjoys putting me down because it makes him feel superior, and he’d just pick on me for something else. I like my co-workers and am hoping to stay with the company, so do you have any suggestions for me to escape his daily torture?

Signed,

Hate Extremely My Awful Nickname

Dear H.E.M.A.N.,

That situation does sound terrible. I firmly believe that a name can reveal a lot about a person – which is why I go by Mr. Fix-it, of course. And Dull – wow, that’s a doozy!

Let me make one quick fix here, changing that D to a B, so that now you were born Mike Bull instead of Mike Dull. OK, let’s see what will be different.

Well, you now come from a long line of Bull men whose name describes them perfectly – none were shorter than 6’3”, and the lightest one weighed 250 pounds. And you are no exception. You were always larger and stronger than the other kids and played all kinds of sports, with football as your favorite, and you even got a scholarship to play center at your state college. 

You were big in high school but became enormous in college – all that lifting and the endless supply of food in the cafeteria really helped you really pile on the pounds. As you get bigger and stronger you also become more confident and willing to show off your incredible body and try new things. Certainly nobody thinks of you as dull now!

You also graduated with a degree in construction management, and you just got hired by the same company you were working for – but instead of serving as a lowly office drone, you’re a VP and your former boss, Art, now reports to you.

The new and improved Bull – that’s what you go by now – is not afraid of anyone. Your beefy 6’7”, 330-pound physique pretty much keeps anyone from taking a shot. And your confidence, intelligence, and domineering physicality so impressed the CEO that he hired you as a VP even though you’re only 22 and much younger than the others who were in contention.

On your first day of work tomorrow, you will strut into the office wearing a tight polo with the company logo and a pair of jeans that really highlights all the many hours you have spent under the squat rack (seriously...your ass will look amazing). 

Most Vice Presidents would wear a suit to the office, but you’re not one of those stuffy fuddy duddies…you’re part of the next generation of executives who wants to be approachable and create a comfortable atmosphere in the workplace. For everyone but Art, that is – you want him to be as uncomfortable as possible.

Lucky for you, he’s the first person you’ll see upon entering the office. Art may have seemed big and scary before when you were 5’6 and 120 pounds, but now his 6’2” inch, 230-pound body seems tiny in comparison to your hulking physique. You’ll walk over to him, introduce yourself, and start shaking his hand with your iron grip. Art will wince at the pain, and you’ll smile and say, "Sorry, I sometimes forget to go easy on you dainty guys."

Art won’t know how to respond, so he will simply comment on your size. "You’re a big guy, Bull."

You’ll smile even bigger. "I could tell you were impressed with my body. Everyone is. Yeah, lots of hard work turned me into quite the stud. And I'm only 22, so I'm just gonna keep on getting bigger."

"22?" Art will say with a gulp as he stares at your bulging pecs and arms, wishing he could be just as massive. "Wow, so young."

"Yep, I'm working on gaining another 30 to 40 pounds of quality beef in the next few months. I’ve actually ordered some more weights for here so I can get some iron pumping in during my breaks in the day. They'll be delivered to your office tomorrow."

This response will snap Art out of his trance. "Wait...what? I don't..."

You will cut him off before he can finish. "Don't worry, little man. I won't make you help carry them in...they'd be way too heavy for your puny arms. My 24-inch guns can do all the work," you will say, hitting a perfect double bicep pose that will make Art start to perspire a bit.

“No, it’s not that,” Art will say. “Why are they being delivered to my office?”

“Oh, because it’s going to be my office from now on. You’re going to move out into the common area with the rest of the team,” you will say.

Art will now be pissed. "Why would you think I would be OK with that? And why aren’t you taking an office on the executive floor?"

Your smile will then be replaced by a grimace. "First, because the CEO told me to demote you – you’re not the office manager anymore, but rather an assistant, and you’re going to sit with the rest of them. See, in addition to VP, I’m also going to run the day-to day operations here at corporate, so your position has been eliminated. And second, because he also told me to take whatever office I wanted, and I…fuckin’…want…yours. And nobody ever says no to me. Look at this body! Look at me! You gonna say no to all this?”

Art won’t understand why he’s getting nervous and horny at the same time, and he’ll really be sweating by this point. “Well, when did the CEO tell you to do this? Why wasn’t I there?” Art’s private office and his role as supervisor made him feel superior and more important than the rest of the staff, and he really got off on his authority over them. Now he will be reduced to a peon in his mind and not be able to lord over everyone.

“He told me last night, and you weren’t there because he also desperately wanted to suck me off,” you’ll say with a laugh and then fondle your cock through your tight jeans. “He only wants the best, and he figured nothing would taste better than the cum from his future successor.”

Art’s eyes will grow wide at this statement. “You’re going to be the next CEO? But I was in line for that job!”

“Hardly. Listen, Fart, it takes someone with a lot of balls to be CEO of a construction company, and that’s definitely not you judging by the tiny little bulge in your slacks. It needs to be someone with some heft and strength,” you will say as you take a step forward and push your chest right into Art’s face. He will sweat even more as your giant pecs completely block his view of the rest of the room.

You will continue. “The CEO has to be someone who can go out to the work sites and make sure the construction workers are all toeing the line – and one gander at my body and all this beef and my 12-inch cock, and I guarantee you every one of those guys will do whatever it takes to please me. Some of them will do it because I’m the boss, some will be scared, and most will do it because they dream of going to bed with me. Just like you do right now, isn’t that right, little Fart?”

Art will most definitely have an erection by this point, and yes, he will most assuredly want to have sex with you. Your dominance and assertiveness will very much turn him on, and by now his perspiration has completely stained his dress shirt under his arms, around the collar, and across his back.

“Same with the guys we make deals with – you need true strength to negotiate with them, and do you think they’d be afraid of you? I mean, you got a little size, but it’s mostly mush,” you will add as you tug on his belly fat with your giant paw. “But when they see me comin’, well, you better believe they’ll be cummin’, too. I’m so jacked that they’ll all be putty in my hands. I’ll be able to get whatever I fuckin’ want. They won’t even know what hit ‘em.”

At that point it will also become too much for Art; he will cum in his pants and create a huge stain across his crotch that’s almost as nig as the sweat stains on his shirt. You will then insist he go sit at his new desk with the other workers and stay the entire day even though he really should go home, take a shower, and change clothes.

Well, H.E.M.A.N., it appears you will gain the upper hand when this all happens tomorrow morning, and from now on you can enjoy your work at the firm without Art getting in your way. And hey, once you do put on the extra 30 or 40 pounds of muscle, please send ol’ Mr. Fix-it some photos!

Sincerely,

Mr. Fix-it